My latest round of ice and snow sculpting has finally come to an end, as well as a journey of a year and a half. I now have to pick up the pieces of a shattered and chaotic life and create something new from it. part of me is loathe to do this, though, as the whole travelling and scultping thing was a LOT of fun, and if I could, I would do this all the time. But the issue is I have no gigs until July, my vehicle is damaged, I have no place to stay in Edmonton other than my brother's floor, and we all know what happened last time I did that, that's right... NOTHING! and I can't do that again. So what do I do?
Yes Yes, I know... make lists, see what your options are, choose from that, blah, blah.
Sometimes I need to be told what to do, or have divine intervention step in and force me to act or on a path. Otherwise I flounder, as I have so many times. OR I refuse that divine gift. I drop it. I don't accept it. because I didn't earn it, I'm not worth it.
I'm letting it all out now, no more hiding here for me.
But, what's my point?
I, again, have choices to make. And if I want to make something of myself, other than just a statistic, I need to do something that I love to do. That I burn for.
And what is that?

Hmmm....
Sculpting tops the list, followed by travelling, exploring, creating, connecting, learning, loving.

or another way...
Create and travel,
Home and Lover.
Those choices, that order.
Gee, does my gemini traits come into conflict there or what?

As you can see, I am in a constant war with my self. If I have one thing, I ache for the other. And sadly most of those things to date have been mutually exclusive, in other words, I haven't been able to find all four. Or if I did, I ran screaming, dropped the ball.

Sigh....