Last night, I did it. I brought him all his stuff and dropped it off. I knew he wasn't going to be around and just left it on the deck. I left a note in the duffle bag - thank you for the journey and teaching me about yourself, myself, and life. I wish you the best.

And that is how 7 years is wrapped up. A note. He sent an email -" thank you for bringing my stuff, wish it was different, maybe I am not relationship material" Ya think?! hmmm... I wouldn't have come up with that conclusion ALL BY MYSELF! ::rolling eyes::

Can't be bitter, Can't be bitter - yeah, bullshit. I can be bitter, hateful and angry if I want. I can be peaceful, joyous and content if I choose. Funny thing is I had asked God (Source, whatever you call it - or don't call it but the gist of it is there) to "guide me through". So it ends in a note and email. Can't get guided any easier. Just fell away. No big drama, final farewells, yelling match, disagreement. A note.

We have (off and on) gone through break-ups and make-ups. We did have our fair share. And I knew, a couple of times, this isn't my Forever, that he was my Now. But there I was, having another make-up. It will be different this time, we'll connect, he'll be more (fill in the blank) and I will become (fill in the blank) and that is how the yo-yo trick works.

Over the last year though (because I am quick like that) I learned a lot about myself. I accept things easily and sometimes I get the short end of the stick. And I have learned, stop accepting the short end of the stick. I would rather sacrifice my own (happiness, contentment, peacefulness - whatever) so others won't have to have any sort of suffering. Protector. That's what I do out of love. Not because I don't think someone can handle a situation but because I don't like watching someone struggle. I would rather be put in the struggling situation (what a freakin' savior I am) and get through it. So, then I learned about myself. It is what I do (or did). And what I was ultimately doing was not allowing someone to go through the situation, issue, problem (fill in blank) and learning what they needed to learn. I took away their learning experiences and stunted their growth because I didn't like knowing they were struggling. Then I learned how to be a friend. To walk with someone going down a rough road and love them on their journey. And bring beer as needed. I have become Counselor now. That role suits me better.

So, when I wrote "thank you for the journey and teaching me about yourself, myself, and life" I mean it. Whole heartedly. It just took me 7 years to learn the lesson I needed to learn about myself. And I'm not bitter. Disappointed fits best because it took me so long to learn a very key and valuable lesson. It makes me wonder (ponder) what other situations (issues, problems, not so obvious yo-yos) are happening in my life that I am just missing the lesson about. Once I learn the lesson, I can let go and move on. Sometimes it just takes a note.