leaving the store, i stupidly look into the trash-filled with recyclables and once again have my daily efforts proven pretty much futile. and i think about how hard it is to even attempt to convince some folx, people who consider themselves lefty, who buy organic and shit. "I have another bottle for your collection" is what a former coworker told me today, proudly holding yet another of his three times a day soda bottles. "I wish you would have bought a can instead," i said, continuing to type. it's fine if you don't want to change your habits for, you know, the entire fucking world (actually, it is not ok. at all. you are my problem. the landfill should be in your house.) but don't fucking parade it in front of me with pride- you just look like the ignorant ass that you are. let's not discuss it, let's talk about cats and the stupidity of my job and keep it to things we agree on.

i have energy if someone is open (as with ignorance around race, gender, sexuality), can accept new information and at least consider that their view is not the only view and is not necessarily the right view. but if you proudly bask in, quite literally, your own waste and expect others to clean it up for you, fuck off. i will put my energy towards people on my page and be inspired by them.

this weekend, I momentarily fell in love with a friend of mine as he removed a staple from a tea-bag before chucking the biodegradable bag filled with plant product. thank you for thinking. thank you for caring. thank you for that being your own idea, what came naturally. thank you to my friend who let me trade out her bottle for a can. thank you to the people who are shifting their consumerism despite the fact that we few cannot be responsible for the many and it is the many who will devour our resources and then wonder where it all went, why things are so darn different, why we have fewer species, why our beaches are so restricted, why plastic bags have been banned, why all the dramatic things that are bound to happen have happened at all.

our civilization is starting to crumble. times are a changin'. get on or get off but get to it so we can hurry up and get there, to that lovely, slow burning apocalypse that will be our test of survival, what we really need, what we think we need but don't, what we were never meant to have. we are there already only it is not the mushroom cloud/zombie/alien takeover/mass plague etc. so may not be recognizable yet to the masses but is to those of us paying attention. Like my most favorite writer, Octavia Butler, I believe we are earthseed and our destiny is among the stars. But let us not go there because we have crushed our planet so, obliterated the possibility of life here, let us learn our lessons before we trash any solar system we end up in. the multiverse is not our landfill. while space and matter may be infinite, resources are not, individual life forms are not. please. Please. PLEASE.