but a friend of mine surprised me with some brand new material...

- Your mom is so cross-eyed, when she cries the tears run down her back.

- Your mom is so fat when she tried bungee jumping she went straight to hell.

- Your mom is so fat she keeps pesos in one pocket and yen in the other.

- Your mom is so fat her ass has it's own congressman.

- Your mom is so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on her good side.

- Your mom is so fat she freebases ham.