I know I have definitely been there. That point where the beautiful play that you have been having with yourself or one or more partners turns from simply experiencing the wonder of our bodies and the flow of love and energy between us in all its myriad ways to, "I just want to have an orgasm...".

Orgasms are great. They're awesome. While there are some very interesting things that can be experienced besides the most common kind of orgasm, that regular, good old orgasm is an amazing thing. I just want to make sure that you don't hear me taking anything away from them.

AND....

Sometimes we get more focused on having the orgasm than on the play itself. This is fine. It's not 'right' or 'wrong', it simply is.

My challenge is simply this: when you find yourself at that point where your partner disappears beneath your desire to simply orgasm, when your enjoyment of your play is overshadowed by your perceived need to orgasm - stop. Simply stop. Take a breath. Consider this an opportunity to not have an orgasm during your play. An orgasm is, after all, simply one of many sensations that we can experience. You can always have one later. For now, simply make a conscious decision to not have an orgasm.

See what that is like for you. How do you feel? What thoughts come up?

If you decide to try this out if you find yourself in this scenario, please be sure to tell your partner, preferably before-hand. Intimate play allows us into a very delicate state and stopping abruptly might not be what your partner is expecting. Do them a favor and tell them what might happen - that it has nothing to do with them or their skills as a lover - that it is just something that you might try if you find yourself in this particular state.