I love when I get inspired to blog about my philosophical revelations. doesn't happen too often, today is a good day for it. There is snow everywhere and more is expected tonight. Not too often we have white Xmases.

First my disclaimer : I don’t claim to know “truth” and am only presenting this as my own truth. To quote Ken Carry, “The truth does not lend itself to absolutes, linguistic or otherwise”.

Okay, so here it is...... I have recently become convinced that there is a universal prerequisite to being able to exist in this world as a human being or what have you. I believe now that everyone is born into this world with a low self esteem, and that for many this is no accident, but in fact an agreement that is made prior to incarnating. I have often wondered since I was a kid what would happen if I was to "figure it all out", and the one and only visual that would come to mind was me disappearing in a poof of smoke! LOL! Seriously though, it has been a powerful image and I am beginning to believe it may be true, at least metaphorically.

I have been studying A Course in Miracles, which I believe is an AMAZING testimonial and manual for deconstructing the ego mind. ( Ego mind referring to the collective belief in separation from God and one another) In applying the principals learned in the text to my own life I have had some very powerful experiences and shifts in perception. In a nutshell, the primary message of the book (at least the way I perceive it to be) is that this world exists completely & exclusively on a template of duality, & duality is a vast illusion. It says that there is only one God (or as I like to call it "Source" ) and that this "Source" which is essentially “Love” & is you, me, and the force that animates everything, has no opposite. To believe there is an opposite is to believe that a "space" can exist "independent" of Source, in other words, "nothing". If such a space can exist it would be "without" source. Well, without source what do you have? If source is "everything" than you would have "nothing", you are "without" all of the qualities that source contains. (namely love) If you are "without" these qualities you are quite logically not going to feel very good about yourself right? You would be pretty empty, in "need" of being "filled" and or "entertained". You would naturally seek an "external" identity" right? You may & probably would feel the need to "compensate" for your "lack" by proclaiming yourself as a "this" or a "that" or, I am “not not” Love? ( A Christian, A Muslim, a preppy or a goth kid! Or God forbid a HIPPIE! or for humor’s sake a Post Hippie!) Why? Because being "nothing" sucks! Right? Being “without love” seems pretty lonely and sucky! If I am "something" then nobody can say I am nothing! Doesn't this sound like a common condition in the world?

Here is the problem: Your perceived external "identity" is a "compensation" for your initial and deep seated belief that you are "nothing" ( a piece of shit ) or as Christians like to call themselves and everyone else in this world "Sinners". Somehow we believe we have offended "Source" and that we have to "atone" four our sins by following a list of artificially made rules. Well, if you actually believe this then in order for your "compensation" to have any meaning at all your initial belief that you are a piece of shit must be firmly in place and protected. You must continue to do "sinful" things in order to validate the belief you are a "sinner" right? What would following the rules that are supposed to “save” you be without it? Pointless! We have entire institutions that are constantly churnnig out new & ridiculous rules to follow! Of course they would be invested in sustaining the initial belief in sinnerhood! They are invested in keeping it going otherwise they would have no reason to exist!

To quote Ken Carey again, “those who repeatedly refer to themselves as sinners have no intention of changing. repentance is meant to be a doorway, not an abode”
Could this also mean the the only effective form of repentance that will actually transcend you out of “sinnerhood” is completely discarding the belief that you are a sinner in the first place?

So............ THE VERY BELIEF THAT YOU ARE "LACKING" (without source) is logically the root of the "problem" right?

Try this, tell yourself "I have in no way offended my Source"

When I told myself this and put the force of strong belief behind it, it had a powerful ripple effect throughout my unconscious. It was like a huge weight was lifted from me. That weight was my past, and all of the decisions, actions, thoughts and beliefs I had about myself that were based on my "compensating" for a belief that I am a piece of shit in the eyes of my "Source". POOF! Gone in a poof of smoke in an instant!

I changed a deep seated belief, but I am certainly not done with the internal work! By default my ego wants to "rebuild" its house and convince me that it is "different" than the last one. I have to remind myself that the ego is only capable of offering the same shit in a different wrapper! As long as I am existing in this world I have to deal with my ego, but it as I get wiser it becomes more manageable.

So how does this tie into my theory about the universal prerequisite? Essentially, it goes like this. This universe is nothing more than a thought projection that is based on a collective belief that separation from "Source" is not only possible, but has been achieved and is actively happening. In oder for this to happen a "Space" where "Source" is not present had to be created. Once it was created it was perceived to be a "cold and empty" place. On top of that, by even having this desire to be "separate" from "Source" I must have "offended" Source. Well rather than just sit here feeling like shit, empty, cold, guilty, etc, it would be better to at least try to create a world where I can be happy on my own and at the same time "hide" from any punishment that Source may have in mind for me for offending! "BAM"! A story is created, the Big Bang, or as I like to humoroulsy refer to it the "BIG COMPENSATION” explodes into the cold dark empty space and starts spinning. Well, here we are!

If this is true, and if I am right, and A Course in Miracles is correct, this universe is a huge collective "compensation" for a collective belief that simply is not true and was never real to begin with. We convinced ourselves that we "separated" from source, held "space" where source did not exist, and created an imaginary world in that space. On top of that we are so desperately trying to make it seem solid and real. The more solid and real it seems to us the more "comfortable" we feel about it. And the more “real” it seems the less likely "Source" will be able to "find" me and punish us for "offending" .

What if we all collectively had this one single thought all at the same time]? " We never separated from, nor did we ever offend "Source", Source is who we are, the ocean refuses no river.............. What do you think would happen? Would the universe simply disappear?

Well, I know one thing, I know we would have no need for religion!

So... to come back to my original point, I truly believe that many of us made an agreement to be here, and that we had to be born with a “prerequisite” story of “emptiness” or “abandonment” or as Caroline Myss calls “woundology”, so that we can resonate with this world. In essence it serves as an anchor. I feel I was scheduled to encounter people who when I was a child would tell me I was worthless and a “sinner”. Somehow I always knew it was not true, but entertained it because it provided me an identity in this world. I have chosen to experiment & shift my identity completely to source, (I am Source first and Jeffe happens to be the article of clothing I am wearing at this time) a wild and crazy experiment I know, but one I feel is absolutely essential to my spiritual growth. It is interesting to think that I have to offer a little bit of nurturing to my “anchor” in the form of “feeling sorry for myself” and allowing some feelings of “low self esteem” to be present. Its like my “limited” little energetic farm that I need to manage and keep under control. If I did not have this, in theory my vibration would be to high to be in this world. God, I hope that doesn’t sound arrogant, but this is what I believe. If I did not have some degree of low self esteem it would be pointless for me to exist here. I could not exist here! So it is that I have this anchoring me here so that I can do whatever I am supposed to do here which I still have not figured out, and I wonder if I am even supposed to figure it out. Maybe I am already doing it! Maybe I am supposed to be writing this so that others may find a nugget in it that resonates with them too. Who knows?

Now I want to share something else. I have a feeling that many reading this have seen “The Secret”, have read or listened to the works of Esther Hicks, or are at least familiar with the whole “Law of Attraction” thing. I recently saw one of the people involved with the movie “The Secret” on Good Morning America. He said something very profound that absolutely stumped the host. The subject of “balance” came up, and the Secret guy said that in order to get the most out of the law of attraction principals, you have to first discard the idea of “balance”. The host shook her head with confusion, and he explained that “source” is where everything comes from and that Source has no opposite, source knows no lack of anything. Only we perceive of lack and create it in our experience. So my translation of this is : Source knows no lack, and we cannot create abundance in our lives if we are invested in the idea of “lack”. Lack is a self created illusion who’s only purpose is to deny the love & influence of Source.

WHY DO WE WANT THAT?
MUCH LOVE!

Jeffe