My widest reaching intention is to make the world a better place when I die than it was when I was born. There are lots of ways I plan to achieve my purpose. I have a strong desire for love and intimacy.
The following is a journal entry from October 2001:
"I want the ultimate in intimacy. I want close, comfortable, trusting, honest, open friendships with as many people as will agree to the above. I trust initially and forgive freely. I want to look into the eyes of the people I surround myself with and see love and compassion. I want lots of physical touch. I want lots of conversation. I want to attempt to appreciate the beauty inside each person. I like to learn from the example of my loved ones. I want deep connections on many dimensions. I love synchronicities and travelling on a similar path with my friends and family. I want a rich and meaningful spiritual life for all. I want support from my loved ones as I continue to grow and change and I desire their acceptance of who I am and who I may become. I want many friends who truly care for me, listen to me and provide insight into my life experiences."

I feel that my life experiences beginning with an incredibly closely bonded relationship with my mom have prepared me to be able to achieve intimate relationships with people. I am not fearful, instead I am honest, open, and willing to give and receive love. I have had so many positive loving experiences based on respectful acceptance, that I know how beneficial intimacy can be. By intimacy I mean any relationship which consists of deep interpersonal connections. Intimacy is achieved through a feeling of close connection. I believe these connections are quite beneficial to all involved. Loving relations with others foster positive feelings of self worth. An abundance of friendship, integrity, honesty, authenticity, respect, love, compassion, empathy, loyalty, communication, and connection is what I fundamentally desire for my life and the lives of my loved ones.
In order to achieve the closeness I desire I often analyze my relationships with others. This helps me to know whether or not I am succeeding in true intimacy. I ask myself questions about how the relationship seems to me and what I could do to improve relations. I often wonder what others are thinking in regards to our friendship, sometimes I ask them, but often, actions tell me quite a bit about how people feel.
So now I attempt to build trust through clear communication, integrity, honesty, acceptance, and unconditional love. I am the luckiest person I know because I learned these things from my mother. Some of the qualities I feel I learned before I was even born. Others were taught by example, therefore I feel it is my purpose to spread the love I know so well and feel so deeply. My love is like roots intertwining me with my Earthly companions.
I find even deeper connections the more I know about my inner self, my spirit. I have a strong intuition, which was not openly discussed in my childhood. But I have always felt it. I know what feels good and right as we all do.
I often feel that I know things before they are said. I know things that are never communicated explicitly at all, things about social cues and facial expressions and how people respond to movement. I notice the look in the eyes of someone who feels afraid, or tired, or happy. Beyond what I could pick up psychologically, there is a knowing that seems to come from a deeper place. A knowing that resides within my soul, my intuition. Intuition has helped guide my life since I learned to stop blocking out the messages I receive. Now I pay close attention to my inner sense of reality.
About 4 years ago I realized that for years I had blocked out negative aspects of life in order to emphasize and focus on the positive. This technique served me well, allowing me to plan for a bright future with long term goals. Over the last several years, I have been exploring my aversion to negativity and attempting to open myself more fully to all aspects of life including pain and suffering. I am coming to peace with the emotions I once avoided and now alow mysef to scream and cry and hit pillows when I'm upset.
Part of my ability to bond closely and quickly stems from an early sensation of abandonment, which began after my parent’s divorce, when I was five. Because I lived with my emotionally distant dad for a couple of school years, I developed a quick bonding technique to fulfill my emotional needs where and when I could. Subsequently, I bonded with my dad’s girlfriends, my babysitters, anyone who was emotionally receptive. I was attempting to compensate for the lack of connection I had with my father. This bonding technique has allowed me to make strong connections quite quickly. I enjoy this quality in myself. I also have concerns about experiencing emotional bonding as a need to be fulfilled rather than coming from a place of desire for connection inside of a knowledge of my own innate wholeness.
I want to completely embody my innate wholeness. I hope to inspire those I come into contact with to love and trust one another.
I am constantly refining my conscious awareness of each occasion when my words don’t match my actions in order to achieve true integrity. I am open to feedback and input from others. I am sensitive to the needs of others. I think this quality helps me to make the deep connections I keep mentioning. When people are sensitive to the physical needs and emotional states of others we are better able to meet those needs and create bonding.
I want to be an example of personal growth and evolution. I want to transcend the patterns I've created out of my past experiences and inspire others to do the same. I aspire to be an example of inclusion and acceptance of everything.
In order to experience the qualities in my life that I most desire I realize I must attempt to embody that which I desire. I have often noticed certain qualities or ways of being, others with similar qualities, desires, or ways of being appear more abundantly in my life. It certainly feels like the energy I put out into the world comes back to me even more intensely. This can work both positively and negatively. I think of this effect as an upward or downward spiral, which perpetuates continual motion in whichever direction one is headed. I can use this motion to my advantage travelling up the spiral, ever evolving and growing. I may even be able to help humanity to evolve and grow through my personal achievements and my social action.
I also have a desire to maximize loving energy in the world. Based on these desires, and probably others I am consciously unaware of, I have formed many intentions and personal goals.
My intentions are like fingers or branches reaching out into the world and the universe. Therefore based on my desires for joy, love, and light, I will strive for ascension toward perfect love, peaceful cooperation, understanding, and acceptance.
My life’s intentions are to build deeply meaningful relationships with people, plants, and animals. I want to share love and positivity. I feel I have a unique gift in my abilities to be honest, open, and positive. I have a desire for true integration of all aspects of myself.
I intend to embody integrity so that my words are truth and everyone I am in contact with can have full trust in me. I would also like to experience a life of mindfulness and true presence in the moment. These goals have been difficult for me in the past because I’ve placed a great importance on the past and the future. I’m beginning to let my attachment to past and future go. This will allow me to exist in the now.
Overall, I intend to evolve, grow, change, and transform always focusing on serving and spreading love. I wish to improve the quality of life for all living creatures.
There are countless ways in which I might choose to act in order to fulfill my intentions. First, I must take good care of myself physically, psychologically, and spiritually. I will integrate art and dance into my life in order to achieve the best possible health. I would also like to raise my awareness of my relationship with food. Further, I continuously examine personal challenges and move through them.
The path I’m on right now is highly effective in facilitating growth and greater consciousness. It seems that almost as soon as I identify a limiting belief or thought, I am freed from it. Eventually I will be content that my inner self is duly reflected to the world through my outer manifestation.
My work with Authentic SF and my work nurturing families with the Conscious Parenting Alliance further these goals. Through these endeavors I am able to share my values with others and invite them into a paradigm of growth and transformation. I am so excited about the possibilities that are present through this work for the evolution of our consciousness and the awareness and full appreciation of our amazing selves.