Here's a moment of introspection verging on self absorption. lol!

People have asked me where I get that look of peace and assurance when I dance, so I've been thinking about it, and here's what I came up with.

When I was a really little kid I had one of those spinning things you sit on. I would spin for rediculous amounts of time and stop thinking, and then collaps on the floor and giggle. I think that was the start of it all. Probably today they would have diagnosed me with autism.

There really wasn't any dancing in my house - my parents are protestants. (I find that hilarious.) But I think dancing is its own instinct, and I'd swirl and spin and skip around like every other child. And when at the age of four I saw a ballet dancer on the TV for the first time, I exclaimed that that's what I wanted to be when I grew up, and was promptly put in classes. The classes gave me a sense of form and structure, but I actually think the ocean taught me how to move.

Every summer of my life growing up was spent in Ocean City NJ, and every day we went to the beach. I'm not a particularly strong swimmer, but I float really easily. I can glide through the water and stir the water with my legs to make me spin. I'd used my arms to make smooth edies and ripples in the water, and would try to move and dance through the water without causing a splash - as if I were trying to become water. I can't describe it any better than that.

Even now when I dance, I'm moving through water. I'm causing smooth ripples in the air and leaving a wake behind me and I can feel some sort of tide pulling me forward. I'm safe, and I'm surrounded by a friend.

No one's watching you when you're in the ocean. They're looking at the waves, they're talking to their friends, and they're worried about how they look in their new bathing suit as they walk along the edge. So there's nothing to be self concious about. You can let go and float - the ocean will catch you. And for that moment there when you become the water and the underwater sounds of the ocean fill your ears and the mountain sized clouds float peacefully above you - all of us made of water, you become connected to everything in the world. Once you reach that feeling of zen, that's when you start to glow.

So now you know.