My mind..

is full and exhausted. I've been in Fairfield for so long, it's beautiful here but everything is a mess.

My parents are on the verge of splitting and I'm here comforting both of them, it looks bleak but I'm supporting whatever it is they may do. It hurts to watch it fall apart though. At least they know I care because my brothers seem oblivious to it. So here i am spending time with them, hearing what they have to say, and taking care of household duties so they can have a load off their back. There was also this cancer scare my father faced which ended up being nothing more than a scare but it was so draining! I could easily just stay in the city and not care about whats going on but for some reason I can't! I should be focusing on my own life but I keep trying to save everyone here, though when I can do it the feeling is so fulfilling that it is worth it. None of this has caused me to fall into a deep depression, and that's fantastic!

I need to get back to the city soon like this Tuesday, there's people I'd love to see whom I haven't seen in forever and things I want to do. On the plus side I've had so many job interviews, it's crazy! I usually return to the city just to go to the interviews where I walk in while wearing an awesome suit and then I dazzle them! It's looking like I might work in Fremont though, I'll know this coming week.

It's done..

I graduated! It's a BA, its the first step toward more hopefully. I will be applying to grad school and taking this school thing as far as I could. I am the first in my family to graduate, it feels amazing.

My extended family can't believe this and are so proud of me and I've never heard so much praise. These are the same people who thought I was wasting my time and at times I almost proved them right. I spent hours and hours studying, sacrificing a social life. I paid for school myself and would practically starve because I used money for books and I almost joined the military at one point. I never quit and it finally paid off. I thought I was going to cry when I was at the ceremony because I exhausted myself to get to this point. I didn't cry, I just felt confident when the point came, and I walked up there with a huge smirk.

I come from a family history thats full of so many stories that have dead ends such as drug addiction, poverty, and death. It's such an amazing feeling to know that I'm the one who's changing history. I remember years ago when my father told my father I how much I respect what he does, the hard labor he endures and that I wouldn't mind being like him. He immediately told me to promise him that I will be the one that does something different. Well here I am, the first Estrada to go to college, and graduate! I do not think this accomplishment makes me better than anyone, I will always respect the hard labor guys who bust their ass ever day to make a descent living. This accomplishment does however push me toward where I want to go. The first thing I did when I saw my parents after graduating was giving them my cap, and the degree holder. I dedicate all of it to them, so that when they wake up at 4 am and have to get to work, the days a little easier knowing the son they raised did this.