leetle update

first thing: I'm not moving back to Georgia. I definitely considered and decided "no" so stop your worrying, you adorable Columbia freakies.

second: I'm living with George (Sidhe) and her daughter, Rhea, and (temporarily) Frey- the crazy red-headed beauty-boy until he smashes is spooky self into New York City.

I impressed him, today, with my impression of a deep-south teenager confronting me by phone after I squirted her car with wiper fluid from my dysfunctional Jeep Cherokee... funny story, really.

Speaking of my sweet little Jeep-y Karma-Wagon Baby cakes. She's better now. She has new calipers, breaks, break lines, and four new tires so I can slam my brakes in the rain without killing anyone or myself. But, I've decided, she's still illegal to drive, in five ways:
1) While I was riding my bike for two months, my insurance lapsed
2)I don't have the title (sorry papa)
3) tags expired
4) haven't paid taxes on it, for this year
and
5) busted tail light.

I'm on top of it, though. In the meantime... my perfectly-functioning heap of freedom remains PARKED!

Also... got my wings worked on (a little bit) recently. They're shaping up and looking good. All the black-work is done and, next time I have money and pain tolerance, we'll start with color. For the moment, though, I'm still licking my pretty new wounds. Thank you, Eric Michalovic

And... In June, Columbia Alternacirque is teaming up with Deft Key - my new favorite (and uber-sexy) composer of music to make you bliss. He's sweating in the studio right now. Sounds like fun times for the Art Bar show (June 27th).

Plus... George and I are turning her pretty pink house, in the Granby Mill Village, into a party fortress this Saturday. She says that all are invited as long as they
1)bring shit
2)don't steal shit
and
3)don't break shit

I have to add 4)if you have to take a shit... hold the handle down and count to five (it's a low-flush jon) If you're a boy and it's just a 1: pee in the yard. no big deal. seriously.

Did I tell you I've been listening to Man Man's new album Rabbit Habbits? highly recommend.

Imaginarium..

I haven't been blogging at all on tribe for a long time - so I'm making effort to especially say "hallo!" to everyone and that I AM still around, though mostly lurking. That said, I also have blogs on www.myspace.com/ashleyisok and www.restlessbones.blogspot.com

I'm still not sure why I have so many places for myself on the *internets* but... whatever.

What I wanted to write about tonight is inspiration and I thought that it would especially appropriate to use tribe as my medium since the majority of its users happen to be artists of some sect or the other.

I went to a house called the Imaginarium on Thursday night. It's actually very near my own neighborhood and is owned by an artist whom I only know as Jeff. He says his first memories of his parents are of riding the back seat of their car, listening to Pink Floyd. When is parents handed their old house down to him - it became the largest canvas he had ever used. Walking into the house, I could see that, over several years, the colors and textures of his brain had floated out and found their places on his walls and ceilings... every nook and cranny was packed with the things that inspire his dreams and his nightmares. I had never seen anything like it.

Parents

a man and a woman made me flesh and bone
He gave me my jaws and funny little nose.
She gave me straight legs and sparkly eyes.
He thought my love for him could be built on lies.
His face a mystery for eighteen years.
A tall dark man with salt and pepper hair
the salt of the ocean and wind in his lungs from the sky
He flew to me when I was grown and said I'm tall like my mother.
I might be taller than him. I know I'm bigger.
I know I'm bitter.
He held me close for the first time in my memory,
standing on concrete on the landing strip that my mother flies from every day.
She wasn't there. It was thanksgiving
And I gave thanks for meeting my missing man.
Tears fell off his face as he squeezed me hard and told me lies.
"I always wanted you"
"I didn't know where you were"
"You are my little girl. My baby."

I left him there and went to see my mother.
After lies. I need truth and ground and the smell of her hair.
She held me soflty and kissed my head like she had done for nineteen years.
Her hands looked like mine as she she stroked my arm and told me the truth.
"I'm always here for you."
"No matter where you are."
"You are my little girl. My baby."

More Toilet Woes... This one turned out gooood...

Ok ok... I'll get back to work in just a sec. Just wanted to update you on my contuing TOILET WOES at Waycross college. I been drinkin' caffeine this morning to get me through some research...

after a particularly dreary lecture on Western Europe's transition out of the fall of Rome and into this sort of weird Middle Ages religious takeover by the Papacy....

I REALLY had to pee. And apparently so did the female portion of the World Civiliztions class. So that bathroom is really hoppin' with business (tee hee). I sat down on the jon to rest my head on my hands (something you shouldn't do at a WC bathroom). Just as I was wrapping my brain around the workings of Gregory the Great, the toilet flushed under me. It startled me so much that I actually yelped and then I heard an echo of knowing giggles coming from neighbory stall. Sounds like everyone has been 'GOT' by the infrared automatic toilet flushy thingy... I was overcome with a great sense of community just then.

Zombies out to gettus...

I'm just really enjoying shooting this Zombie short for my friend Aaron. I don't want it to be over, but I think shooting is coming to a close.... not ready... I actually have grown to enjoy the company of the undead... and I'm even getting used to the bleeding thing...
www.youtube.com/watch

I love my school!!

Tiny colleges are great... especially with the budget to make stuff like simulated skydiving FREE! Yesterday reminded my why I love being a student so much. I did the wind tunnel, ate a burger, got a bag of cotton candy, a snowcone and a T-shirt all for free!! What a nice day I had... and now my bum is sore from squeezin' my legs up for the simulator - what a workout. I want that machine in my back yard... hmmm... :::off to buy a lottery ticket:::

Toilet woes

So, I'm at my college, sitting in my office (the toilet stall) and thinking about life in general. Overwhelmed by the perils that life throws us, I lean forward and rest my head in my hands. I hear this strange whining noise in the distance and I perk my head up. The noise is right behind me... what is that? It's getting louder. It sounds like a dying cat... and then.... ::FLUSH!:: A burst of cold air and a mist of water hit my nether-regions with such vigor, I nearly jumped out of the stall. "What the - !" Damn motion sensor got me again! I prefer the old fashioned flushing method, thank you. And - if you ask me - college kids are anxious enough without getting scared in middle of a satisfying dump.
Question...
If those toilets are set off by light, then what about when they turned the lights on first thing in the morning? How many gallons go down each toilet? I'd say public (water reserving) jons probably require about 2 gallons of water for a good flush. About 6 toilets per restroom and... I dunno... 20 restrooms on campus. That's :::120 toilets times two gallons per toilet::: thats 240 gallons of water just to turn the lights on in the morning. What a waste!!

Darkness

the "who turned out the lights" darkness. I get a call from my cousin "It's a girl!" she says.... "wha?!"
Then, "Aunt Amy should be back from getting her hysterectomy in just a couple days, man that was a lengthy operation"..... Again, I reply "Hyster-what!!? When did this go down"
And - let me set this up for you. My Papa (grandpa) lives in an old barn that he converted into a two story house after his second marraige failed.... Then he got married AGAIN to the same woman (not my grandmother).... and sooner than later, they divorced.... again. Well, the story is that they are divorced. But I think they've just been separated for twenty years. That's just me.
Anyway, I get a call from my mother who is planning to go the the Grand Ol' Opry next month (What the F***?) And said, "oh yeah, and Papa should be getting back from Las Vegas any day now. He and Ceanie (the ex wife) went up there for a week".... My reply "you don't suppose they're having sex, do you, mom?"
My mother: "hun, don't bring that up again."
So... Who turned out the lights? Do I live under a rock or something. Why am I not getting this info until after the fact? Damnit!

work at Ruby Tuesday.... lose weight....

I HATE waitressing. It has really got me seriously trying to come up with a solid major that I care about so I can finally get excited about school and finish up already. Really. I just run around the restaurant, getting shit from customers and making mediocre tips for 7 hours at a time. Seldom to I have time to rest my dogs or grab a sip of water. I've been there for a week and I've lost five pounds. I've done some math:

I was 155lbs last week.
I am 150lbs this week.
My minimum weight is probably 135 pounds. (I'm 5'9")
if I continue to lose at this rate, it'll be slightly over a month before I'm either hospitalized or turn into an olsen twin, whichever's worse.
I need a career.
bleh.

WHY MUST YOU TAUNT ME SO?!

MUST HAVE BIG..... SEXY..... BOOTSIES!!!! AaAaAahHHH!!!