a man and a woman made me flesh and bone
He gave me my jaws and funny little nose.
She gave me straight legs and sparkly eyes.
He thought my love for him could be built on lies.
His face a mystery for eighteen years.
A tall dark man with salt and pepper hair
the salt of the ocean and wind in his lungs from the sky
He flew to me when I was grown and said I'm tall like my mother.
I might be taller than him. I know I'm bigger.
I know I'm bitter.
He held me close for the first time in my memory,
standing on concrete on the landing strip that my mother flies from every day.
She wasn't there. It was thanksgiving
And I gave thanks for meeting my missing man.
Tears fell off his face as he squeezed me hard and told me lies.
"I always wanted you"
"I didn't know where you were"
"You are my little girl. My baby."

I left him there and went to see my mother.
After lies. I need truth and ground and the smell of her hair.
She held me soflty and kissed my head like she had done for nineteen years.
Her hands looked like mine as she she stroked my arm and told me the truth.
"I'm always here for you."
"No matter where you are."
"You are my little girl. My baby."