once apon a time iwas a failry in the seashell of the bronx. i would ride the brown crests of the long island sound on a windblown plastic bag in search of cleaner seas. one day a neamatoad came floating along on the discarded makeup bag of a GLOW lady (you know-- gorgeous ladies of wrestling) (yeah she turned 28 and her career was over)
so anyway this neamatoad was intoxicated from a slick of motor oil coating his eyes, babbling the sounds an infant makes when he cant find his mothers nipple.
i ignored the neamatoad, and divulged into the makeup bag and pulled out a vial of luminous aqua glitter.
holding my breath, i opened the jar. i was awestruck by its shimmer. it was the color of the seas in my failry fantasy sing-song la-la-land!
so i relased the stale bronx air from my lungs and sang. the aqua sparlke spilled upward and into the neamatoad's oil slickafied eyes instantly relieving him of his stupor.
he said fuck this city shit. i'm out of here! he gradded my failry wings and took off to kailua. (i didnt know they worked goddammit!) the neamatoad found his homeland (and his mothers nipple) and he became hunter.
as for me, i cried and cried seeing that all along along i had the tools to fly, i just didnt know how to use them.
boo hhoo hooooo. sniffle snort snirtfle.
when i dried my eyes i saw the trail of shimmering aqua left behind by neamatoad-soon-to-be-hunter. i tied my plastic bag into a windpropeler-apparatus-flyer- thingamajig and follwed the sparkly trail. at the end, was vast expanse of aqua. i let go the plastic bag and became a true fairy.