What's goin' on

world wide web, indeed

SiobhanMarie — Fri, 04 Jul 2008 08:15:53 GMT

Years ago, an old workmate found me by doing a google search for my name... by finding a letter that I had written to the LA Weekly in 1997, thanking them for an awesome Meshell Ndegeocello article. I didn't make much of it at the time, cause I was still marveling at the wonders of the internet. But every so often I do a google search for my name, and the 1st thing that comes up is my website... my resume has my address on it, which of course I keep telling myself, "I need to fix that." I did a google search today, and the 3rd thing that came up was my tribe.net profile.... and it dawned on me that all of my pics of my daughters are in plain view, for anyone to see. I kept hearing Ewan MacGregor's voice in my head, about how he doesn't allow his children to be photographed for public use. (Granted, I'm not famous....) So, I made my kid-pics all "friends only" and I made most of my personal blogs "friends only" cause I really don't want Joe Schmo from Anytown, USA being able to check out my private life and pics of my kids. But then I realized that pics of my kids and other personal ventures are on other sites as well.... photography, etc.... Any thoughts about this kinda stuff? Is it just the times that we live in, that our info is so widely viewable? I like that my stuff is available to my community, cause it's so fun to exchange thoughts/photos/ideas/fun... but of course tribe is a public site.... searchable on google... which means any potential landlord, boss, client, etc., can check you out without you knowing. Weird.

wisdom and compassion

SiobhanMarie — Wed, 02 Jan 2008 04:36:39 GMT

i don't care about what you do for a living. i want to know what you love most, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing. I don't care how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive. I don't care what your astrological sign is, I want to know if you have touched the center of your sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals, or if you have become hard and closed from fear of further pain. I want to know if you can tolerate pain, mine or your own, without trying to hide it or change it or fix it. I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own; if you can get crazy and dance, letting the fun fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, or to remember the limitations of being human. I don't care if the story you are telling me is true, I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. I want to know if you can be faithful and therefore trustworthy. I want to know if you can see beauty even when it is not pretty every day, and if you can source your life from wisdom and compassion. I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand up and shout "gabba gabba hey!" for no reason at all. I don't care about where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after a night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done for the children. I don't care who you are, what band you are in, or how cool you are. I want to know if you will stand in the middle of the fire with me and fight for what we know is right. I don't care what religion, race, sexual preference or political stance you have. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away. I want to know if you can be alone with yourself, and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments. --by Oriah Mountain Dream, adapted by Noah Levine

Moontribe 14-year photos!

SiobhanMarie — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 03:32:50 GMT

Hey y'all! I posted my faves on my flickr page: http://www.flickr.com/photos/siobhanmarie/sets/72157600637090825/ Big thank-yous to everyone who worked hard to make this gathering so wonderful! What a great lineup, great decor, great art, great sprinklers, great sound, great door-people, great ranger-negotiating, great clean-up crew, great kiddie pool, great dancers! You all rock. Thank you so much. xoxo S

It seems like the Buddha was a cool dude...

SiobhanMarie — Tue, 19 Jun 2007 23:25:07 GMT

I read this paragraph in Thich Nhat Hanh's "Teachings on Love" and thought it was great... it's hard sometimes to let other people's anger be their own right? It's one thing to honor someone's feelings, and it's another to take on their anger like an unwanted gift.... --- A man asked the Buddha, "Master, is there anything you would agree to kill?" and the Buddha answered, "Yes, anger. Killing anger removes suffering and brings peace and happiness. Anger is the single enemy that all the wise ones agree to kill." The Buddha's response impressed him, and he became a monk in the Buddha's Sangha. When the man's cousin learned that he had become a monk, he cursed the Buddha to his face. The Buddha only smiled. The man became even more incensed and asked, "Why don't you respond?" The Buddha replied, "If someone refuses a gift, it must be taken back by the one who offered it." Angry words and actions hurt oneself first and most of all.

Meditating: From the mouths of babes.......

SiobhanMarie — Thu, 14 Jun 2007 05:01:02 GMT

So, I've been meditating every morning, for about a month now, for 20-25 minutes. At first I was only meditating when my girls are at their Dad's, cause I figured I needed to be alone to do it. And I just wasn't at a stage in my practice/discipline where I wanted to wake up earlier in order to meditate. But now, I get up a little bit early when the girls are home, and I sit on the floor in my room. If the girls wake up when I'm still sitting, they know now that Mummy's meditating, and they've learned to (mostly) leave me be. Sometimes they will come and sit next to me for a minute or so, and sometimes they'll do a few ohms (even though I'm silent! It's so damned cute!), or even talk to each other in whispers, before flitting off. Sometimes I just have to be patient, because they simply don't WANT to leave me be, so I just have to accept the time that I get. But the other morning, Aislinn and I woke up at the same time. I told her it was time to get ready for school, and then she got up and grabbed my blanket and pillow that I sit on to meditate, and set them up on the floor for me, and said, "Sit down, Mummy, meditate!" I laughed and sat down, cross-legged, and she pointed at my face and said, "OK, close your eyes!" :) So, I closed my eyes and she left the room to wake up Fiona. :)

Such a FANTASTIC BOOK!!!!

SiobhanMarie — Sat, 02 Jun 2007 05:19:28 GMT

OK, y'all... I just read such a great book, I have to share it with you. (Thanks for the recommendation, Travis!) "Water for Elephants" by Sara Gruen. http://www.amazon.com/Water-Elephants-Novel-Sara-Gruen/dp/1565125606/ref=pd_bbs_sr_3/105-5998724-9450822?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1180760635&sr=1-3 It's told by an old man in an old-age home (he's 90 or 93--he can't remember which) of his days in the circus, during the Depression. It's such a fantastic story, of love, tragedy, craziness, adventure, cruelty, and animals.... such rich characters, such a visually fantastic story, and so well written! I HIGHLY HIGHLY HIGHLY recommend it! If I had seen it in the bookstore, I probably wouldn't pick it up...a book about the circus???? But Travis said it was brilliant, and he was spot-on. It's been ages since I read a novel in such a short time (I'm not a quick reader--I savour every word), and I read this one in 11 days. I was almost finished with it today when my lunch-hour was finished, so I walked from Peet's Coffee to the office, still reading the last chapter, trying not to get run over. And then I stood outside the office to finish the last 3 pages, and cried! (Yeah, yeah, I know, I'm a sappy girl) :) And now for my next adventure.... any recommendations, anyone? I'm thinking "Mirror, Mirror" by Gregory Maguire? Or "The Space Between Us" by Thrity Umrigar?

Beautiful little mama-moments

SiobhanMarie — Mon, 28 May 2007 04:46:51 GMT

Ooohhhh, yes, mama was tired from dancing her booty off at ELM until 2am! I tried to sleep while my girlies were up and about the house at 8am, but finally Aislinn got impatient and came to my bed and cuddled me and said, "It's wakey time, mama!" My beautiful little baby.... not such a baby anymore! She'll be 3 in August. Wow. She cracks me up lately... she's a big fan of the White Stripes song, "Doorbell", so she often breaks out in song when she's sitting in her car seat, "I'm thinking 'bout my doorbell, when ya gonna ring it, when ya gonna ring iiiiiiiiiiit!!!!" Haha! :) And yesterday, I asked Fiona to tidy up her room, and she came into the kitchen to tell me that she not only tidied her room, but she also made Aislinn's bed. I said, "you ROCK!" and gave her a high-five, and Aislinn peeked her head out from the front porch and yelled, "ROCK N' ROLL!!!!" Hee hee! Such little delights, they are..... well, ok, most of the time.... ;)

Pics of RD & Edit at A&D for 4/20!

SiobhanMarie — Sat, 21 Apr 2007 23:47:32 GMT

Sweet little event at A&D (across the street from LACMA) for 4/20 :) RD & Edit laid it DOWN, while gorgeous visuals by Jarrett Smith and Miguel Vega played overhead. http://www.flickr.com/photos/siobhanmarie/sets/72157600105174072/

Me in Joshua Tree

SiobhanMarie — Thu, 29 Mar 2007 04:52:38 GMT

Here are my pics: http://www.flickr.com/photos/siobhanmarie/sets/72157600033988277/ And here are a few scribblings from my journal while camping: (Written at 5:30pm, yesterday evening): I turned off my engine at 4:20pm. Perfect. Campsite #113, Jumbo Rocks, Joshua Tree National Park--on a Tuesday. The sun has been shining for a couple of hours, so I've been listening to the constant drips of snow melting off the bushes around me, while setting up camp. When I first drove into the park, I turned around the first bend and was blessed with the view of Joshua trees in the foreground, and snowy mountains in the distance. Gorgeous! I pulled over, grabbed my camera, took a few pics while my fingers froze, thinking of how lucky I was, to see snow in the distance. Little did I know, that as I drove further into the park, I'd find the entire terrain COMPLETELY covered in snow, including the trees. Yikes! I was driving through this winter wonderland, thinking, "Am I CRAZY? Should I go find a motel room?" as I'm watching cars drive the oppostie way, covered in snow. But by the time I got to Jumbo Rocks, most of the snow had melted. And now I'm staring into the sun and wind. (Written this morning): My hands are freezing! But.... aaaaah.... open space. How truly wonderful. This place just goes on forever -- it's absolutely gorgeous. I've climbed to a few peaks and the view never ends! It's such a clean, cleansing energy in the desert. I can hear the wind rolling over the hills in the distance, and it gets louder and louder as it gets closer, and I know it's headed my way. And then WHOOOSH! it comes in. It sounds like ocean waves--if I close my eyes and imagine being at the beach, the wind sounds just like waves crashing. It's a beautiful, familiar sound. I watched a flock of quails marching around my camp today, as I sat still. They make these funny noises, like a squeeky-toy, and they march around, following each other. If a few quail stop to check something out, the other quail will stop and wait for them before contuining to walk. They really seem like they're on a mission. A patient one. At first I had to force myself to do nothing, here. My tendency is always to be DOING something, or communicating to someone in some way. It took me a little while to just settle into being here, being quiet, being still. To warm myself up to the idea, I grabbed my iPod and headphones, turned on dela's CD, climbed around on a few boulders until I found a good spot for absorbing the last of the sun's rays and the expansive views, and I sat... and sat... and sat... and sat... and felt the desert's kisses on my soul.

That darned Universe has been listening again!

SiobhanMarie — Sat, 17 Mar 2007 01:55:02 GMT

So, for the past couple of months, since my husband moved out, I've been telling my friends that I"m tired of living so far away from civilization, and in the next 6 months I"d really like to move farther north.... close enough to my girls' school in Torrance, but closer to the rest of my friends.... so, like El Segundo, Playa del Rey, even Hermosa Beach.... but I'm in such dire straits right now with my finances (adjusting to being the major breadwinner of the family, since becoming separated) that I'm not even paying all of my bills.... my car insurance just ran out yesterday.... I haven't paid my daughter's tuition for March...... and then my landlord calls me this morning and tells me HE'S SELLING THE HOUSE I'M LIVING IN! This could mean I have to move out in a month, or 6 months.... depending on how fast it sells. Part of me wishes I could just put all my stuff in storage and pay minimal rent at someone's house for a couple of months so I can get back on my feet.... but with 2 kids, that's hardly an option. And my ex-husband has a weird work schedule, so he says he can't take the girls more often than he already does (2-3 nights a week). I guess I'm just posting this blog because I feel like I'm at a crossroads..... and I feel like it's always good to put the word out there. I have been working a lot over the past month, so I have some outstanding invoices, and I do have a new situation where I'll be doing some regular work for someone...... which is all good.... and part of me knows I need to trust in the Universe, but I also know that I can't just expect the Universe to flow me a bunch of stuff without working for it... ya know? I am in such a state of flux in my life right now.... in every way.... so, when I got the call from my landlord, all I could do was sigh, and go, "OK!" And then I called Tania and all we could do was laugh out loud.... at how crazy life is.

Room for rent, with me in Lomita (Torrance), April 1st

SiobhanMarie — Sun, 11 Mar 2007 22:55:18 GMT

Hey all. I'm looking for someone to rent out my 3rd bedroom in this house, where I live with my 2 young daughters. It's got its own entrance and back patio, and its own bathroom with a shower. I'm on a nice wee street in Lomita, which is basically in Torrance, near Crenshaw and PCH. 10 minutes from Redondo and Torrance beaches (gorgeous), 10 minutes from either the 405 or the 110, and just down the hill from the gorgeous cliffs and rocky waters of Palos Verdes. $650 per month, including electricity, gas, and wireless DSL. Please pass the word to anyone groovy who doesn't mind living in the South Bay with a kooky mama and her wee girls! :) siobhan@moontribe.org

Comic Relief with Erykah Badu and my girls

SiobhanMarie — Sun, 11 Mar 2007 01:48:24 GMT

It definitely is those little moments that make being a mother an absolute joy..... I had Erykah Badu's "I Want You" playing on my stereo (or, rather, my iTunes and my computer speakers) and I started dancing around my bedroom, and Aislinn came in and said, "Pick me up, mama!" and I picked her up and kept dancing with her in my arms and she was giggling like crazy and I was singing and rockin' out and then Fiona came in and jumped on my bed and we all held hands and boogied to Erykah. Music ALWAYS does the trick. I also showed Anoushka Shankar's performance at "Concert for George" to Fiona today, and she was pretty fascinated with the sitar, and how fast Anoushka's fingers were going. :) Yay. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3HqQoLq5c2c

Full moon photos

SiobhanMarie — Thu, 08 Mar 2007 07:19:31 GMT

http://www.flickr.com/photos/siobhanmarie/sets/72157594576665149/

"So, how are you doing, Siobhan?"

SiobhanMarie — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 05:31:00 GMT

So, I was at a party last weekend, and many of my friends asked me, "So, how are you doing?" in that very sincere, loving way, when people who love you truly want to know how you're keeping on. And at first, I tried to answer that question with honesty and openness, but by the end of the night it felt like I didn't know how to answer that question anymore. I mean, shit..... I am newly separated, I'm a single mother with a 2-year old and a 6-year old, I'm having to increase my financial intake dramatically because I have to pay my own way now (even with child support, of course). For the previous 6 months to deciding to end my marriage, I was doing major soul-searching and confronting myself. It was HARD WORK. But of course, in that time I became more clear with my feelings, my needs, my hangups, my truths.... which led me to face my fears and do what I needed to do. And previous to that, my marriage was a rollercoaster of love and turmoil for 2 years. Some close friends who have known my trials and tribulations for the past 6 years might say that that rollercoaster was at least that long... So, now that I am adjusting to this new life that I have chosen for myself, I am faced with so many pieces of myself. Sometimes I don't want to look in the mirror because it takes so much effort to just get through the day of Motherhood.... and sometimes, when I take time to sit and listen, and lose my judgments, I find more clarity and insights. But they always seem so fleeting. It's hard to say if single motherhood is any more challenging than partnered motherhood. I mean, in my marriage I was NOT being honest with myself, so I always had that dark cloud hanging over me. I actually have more time to myself now than I've had in 7 years, which is fucking brilliant. It was so hard for me to schedule time off from motherhood/wifehood (by my own volition, I realize), so it's great that there is now a set schedule of Siobhan-time. Those 2 1/2 days a week where my children are with their Daddy, it feels like the entire world is available to me. I feel like the free-est woman on the planet! I can do anything I want--I can take a walk on the beach, I can see friends, I can make new friends, I can go out for a pint, I can watch a movie, I can read, I can knit, I can take a road trip, I can work late, I can smoke pot and space out, I can pay my bills, I can drive at night, I can spend hours on tribe.net, I can play with my sex toys, I can have quiet, peaceful trips to the grocery store....... But then on the days when I have my kids, I often feel like my life is falling apart. They fight so much of the time, Aislinn provokes Fiona, Fiona throws tantrums, they won't eat their dinner, Aislinn destroys everything in sight, Fiona plays Victim, they won't go to bed without a fight......... sometimes I feel like throwing them against the wall, and sometimes I feel like running away and letting Craig have full custody of them. I feel like, "THIS IS NOT THE LIFE I WANTED! I NEVER EVEN LIKED BABYSITTING--WHY THE FUCK DID I GO AND HAVE CHILDREN?????" Is that shocking to hear MamaSiobhan say? Is it shocking to hear any mother say such a thing? If you're a parent, I imagine you totally understand.... because, as one of my closest friends says, "If people knew how hard it is to be a parent, no one would have kids." I mean, YES, I love my kids tremendously. Sometimes they are such joys, and I am completely amazed and enamoured with them. They really are remarkably brilliant, creative, loving little creatures. But aaaaahhhhhhh....... parenting is relentless sometimes. I look back at my life before kids... or even when I had ONE kid, and I'm like, "How the fuck did I ever think that was hard?" But of course I see my non-parent friends go through major struggles in their lives, and I know that struggles aren't exclusive to parenting. But sheeeeeeeit...... I have a hard time with being a parent. Does it actually come naturally to some people? It certainly seems to. I see some people who are GREAT with kids... some people who CHOOSE to have 3-4-5-more kids because it's what they were born to do.... some people who love kids so much that they choose to be teachers/caregivers.... and that is SO not me. I feel completely shocked that I chose to have kids---isn't that insane?????? Do most parents feel this way sometimes???? Those times when I get to go to the grocery store without my kids, I get to just hop out of the car, do my shopping, and hop back in my car, start it up, stick on my iPod, and GO. It's so fucking EASY! Maybe parenting forces you to stop and enjoy those little moments in life, because most moments are so filled with the perpetual caregiving, that it's all you can do to not go insane. And yes, I'm sure my girls are still adjusting to the fact that their parents are now "friends" instead of living together. But overall, they've handled it quite well, because things have been 90% good between me and Craig. We have reached a good place of friendship and understanding and co-parenting, and I hope it continues to grow and flourish. So, I think that our good vibes towards each other are reflecting in the kids and how they're handling the situation. Sometimes when the kids are going berserk and I get fed up and go berserk, I try to remember that they might still be acting out their emotions/fears about the changes. But I also feel like they're really OK, and Aislinn's just being very 2 and Fiona's acting out because she's an older sibling who's having to tolerate a wild 2-year old sister.... it's hard to know where "adjusting" begins and "normal" ends..... you know what I mean? I'm going to dance in the desert next week.... and I'm looking forward to losing my ego and finding myself on the desert dancefloor. Perhaps I need to create more of those blissful moments with my girls, too....... so that my only blissful moments aren't when they're NOT around. Sigh...... but then again, I need that time to myself, to regroup and connect with myself, and remember that I am a WOMAN and not just a MAMA. In general, being single again is feeling great. I can flirt without feeling like it's a no-no (that kind of thing didn't fit well into my marriage), and I usually feel good and sexy, and I seem to be attracting the attention of some hotties, which is nice. :) I'm also having to make clear boundaries with some of them, which ALSO feels very good.... it's something that is much easier for me at 36 than it was at 26. It feels like a few of my friendships are in flux, or on hiatus.... which is a bit troubling, but I'm trying to just accept the ebbing and flowing of the tides, and not judge myself for the changes. Everything feels in flux right now, in a different way than it has for the past months/years.... and sometimes that means I withdraw inside myself and don't want to be confronted by mirrors outside myself. I guess I'm feeling very protective. I have a roommate now.... another single mother, with a 4-year old son. She's a neat lady.... she's my age, she's Nigerian but went to English boarding schools. But sheeeeeit..... I was never a roommate person, so it's a big adjustment, for me and my girls, of course. But that's $700 a month that I need at the moment, so we're all just trying to get along nicely. I want to get out of Lomita.... especially now that I'm not part of a nuclear family, I am tired of people telling me, "Shit, you live freakin' far, Siobhan." I'm even missing Redondo Beach... which was just as far south, but at least it was by the beach. But within the next 6 months, I'd really like to be in Hermosa Beach, Playa del Rey, or even El Segundo.... close enough to get my girls to their awesome Montessori school where they're having wonderful experiences, at scholarship-prices, in Torrance... but closer to civilization. I feel very isolated out here. I'm gonna have to make a lot more money to move north, though.... this 3-bdrm house with a huge yard, on a nice street, is only $1625 a month. So, there ya go. Siobhan in a nutshell, circa February 2007. After re-reading this post, I feel a bit egocentric, but shit.... with all these changes I'm going through, it's hard for me to be selfless right now. I feel like I spent so many years avoiding my needs, blinding myself to my emotions, because of fears...... so, please excuse me if I'm a bit inside myself at the moment. As crazy at it may be, I'm trying to just go with the flow, not judge myself, and just let things go as they may.... as Toni Halliday sang in one brilliant Curve song... "It's all from the soul... Fly with the high, go with the lows. " Much love to y'all, Thanks for reading, Siobhan P.S. The art at the top of this page is by www.alithayoung.com :)

Goddess in my bedroom

SiobhanMarie — Mon, 15 Jan 2007 08:05:49 GMT

Big changes this week. My room became fully *my* room... I got a bed, and tonight I moved my office into my bedroom, to make room for my incoming roommate and her son. I wasn't looking forward to having my workspace be in my bedroom, but thanks to Sarahbella and her fabulous ideas, I've set up quite the lovely bedroom office. I still have some decorating to do (hang more art, etc) but it's definitely MY space and it feels good. Rediscovering, reinventing... Ch-ch-ch-changes

crop circles kick ass

SiobhanMarie — Fri, 29 Dec 2006 06:41:21 GMT

Check it out... a crop circle in the making. And not by some dudes with some broom handles, in the middle of the night... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1mr1aL_OcUE

holidaze

SiobhanMarie — Thu, 28 Dec 2006 22:17:59 GMT

I just don't know about this holiday thing. I try to float through it and not get the holiday blues, but here I am, in the middle of them. I don't get it! And I know I'm not the only one who gets them--psychology offices are flooded at this time of year. And I don't participate in the whole capitalism aspect of Xmas, even though I have children. They each got a few presents from me this year--nothing elaborate. Is it because as children, there was so much build-up to the whole Santa thing, that even as a 36-year old I'm still feeling some level of expectation and excitement? Do I just want something big to look forward to? I'm looking forward to seeing Erykah Badu at the House of Blues on New Year's Eve with my best girlies--that's for sure. I made the mistake of going out last night, spontaneously, thinking I'd have fun dancing, but there was not one person I knew there, and everyone was like 22 years old. I should have trusted my instincts (on the drive there) and just gone and had coffee or something, but I wanted to get my groove on, and shake off some of the holiday blues. Of course, there IS the fact that EVERYTHING in my life is changing right now. And it's happening all at the holidays, and 2 weeks into the new year. What am I, nuts? Yes, indeed---I'm one big chestnut... roasting on an open fire.

Manifesting in a thistly way

SiobhanMarie — Wed, 20 Dec 2006 20:33:20 GMT

My website is up and running! Yay! http://www.thistlegraphics.com/

Roommate needed / room for rent

SiobhanMarie — Wed, 13 Dec 2006 19:14:37 GMT

I'm looking for a roommate, to share my 3-bdrm house with me and my daughters. Right now, the 3rd bedroom is my office, but I'll be clearing it out to rent it out to someone super-cool. :) It's a great room... it's a nice size, and it has its own entrance! There's a patio in the back, as well as its own bathroom with a shower. It's just off our laundry room with a W/D, and right off the kitchen. I live in Lomita, which is in the South Bay, near Torrance... 10 minutes from the 110 or the 405, and 10 minutes from the beach. I'm thinking about $600-700, including utilities/DSL/use of washer/dryer. Pass the word to any groovy cats who are willing to live with a crazy mama and her two girlies. :) I'd be open either to a single person, or a single parent with a child.

changes and challenges

SiobhanMarie — Sat, 09 Dec 2006 17:25:56 GMT

"Once we make conscious our emotional needs, however, it's impossible to forget them. Once we become aware of the source of any unhappiness, we cannot expunge that awareness. We have to make choices. The ability to choose is an active power – and the sensation of having active power is both thrilling and threatening, because it makes us *want* to change those parts of our lives that are no longer appropriate. And changing those parts inspires us to challenge other aspects of our lives that are not satisfactory." --Carolyne Myss, PhD, "Anatomy of the Spirit"

The creation of love, self-esteem, and health

SiobhanMarie — Fri, 01 Dec 2006 05:39:28 GMT

"Healing... is an active and internal process that includes investigating one's attitudes, memories, and beliefs with the desire to release all negative patterns that prevent one's full emotional and spiritual recovery. This internal review inevitably leads one to review one's external circumstances in an effort to recreate one's life in a way that serves activation of will—the will to see and accept truths about one's life and how one has used one's energies; and the will to begin to use energy for the creation of love, self-esteem, and health." --Caroline Myss, PhD, in "Anatomy of the Spirit"

From the mouths of babes...

SiobhanMarie — Tue, 28 Nov 2006 03:16:17 GMT

"But I don't WANNA do that. That's not FUN!" --Fiona, age 6

vitally alive

SiobhanMarie — Thu, 23 Nov 2006 05:33:28 GMT

Seek out that particular mental attribute which makes you feel most deeply & vitally alive, along with which causes the inner voice which says, "This is the real me," & when you have found that attribute, FOLLOW IT. ~ William James (thanks Robin, for the great quote)

orgasm for peace

SiobhanMarie — Thu, 16 Nov 2006 05:20:58 GMT

http://www.globalorgasm.org/ Sounds like a brilliant idea to me!! Hee hee!

fish in the water

SiobhanMarie — Sat, 11 Nov 2006 19:36:47 GMT

How do I know if I'm repeating my same patterns, even through these big changes in my life? How do I know, if I'm the fish who's still swimming in the same sea? How do I see the water if I'm swimming in it? Does it take someone to say, "What ARE you doing? Really, Siobhan, what ARE you doing?" Cause that certainly does rattle my bones... it certainly does confront me. But I'm left with just asking myself what someone else has just asked me... "What AM I doing??" And I don't have the answers yet. I'm trying to not beat myself up for not having the answers yet... I"m trying to just live and breathe through it, and sometimes I'm quite comfortable with just being Here. But sometimes I do start to judge myself, make myself wrong for the possibility of being "stupid" again, and repeating my same patterns. I want to cherish all parts of me and not judge myself. I want to SEE what I'm doing, as I'm doing it... not years later, when I've switched seas and I can look back at that silly old fish who kept fucking things up and didn't know it.