breathing stillness

all is quiet and still around me now

sleep seems too far away to miss this blissful stillness

to leave the secret fold in which i stir as my sweet ones dream

i cannot imagine a better place to be

alone with nothing to do but breathe

life is good in the quiet darkness

i celebrate silence and thoughtful moments alone over tea

there is nothing stretching before me so i loop this bliss

over and over

till i drift off ... eventually



image: upload.wikimedia.org

never much of a joiner...

...but there will be a unifying ceremony involving myself and my favorite man on the beach just before sunset in Half Moon Bay in August. wow. life is funny.

this is the next big thing for me and mine... it feels good. what a trip.


image from: www.thesimplyorganizedbride.com

integrity in brilliance

she brings truth at her own peril...
cannot bow to the rest, cannot allow injustice,
the knowing that they are not realized to themselves

she throws open the doors and windows among them
they are not accustomed to her way
cannot see the brilliance through their clouds

she makes pathways through the mire
some follow but cannot speak her name
it isn't necessary that she feel accolade
it isn't in her nature to need

she cannot expect their reception and she knows
the invitation will not be forthcoming

it hardly matters, in the length of it
she has fleshed out their bones
though they will never acknowledge the truth
of her love, of her light, of her

she is brilliance
she bursts forth in silent misunderstanding
held together as wind holds the worlds together
as one unseen by the others

her integrity enshrouds her brilliance

what is yours?

full

so full right now
to bursting and beyond
a jumbled chaos of fullness
a messy menagerie
so full
my heart is full, my heart is full
my spirit and my hands are full
my moods are swinging
so full
i have more than i need
so fully full
up to the top and over the sides........
so full

hot

it is africa hot or thai sticky and summer has just begun

i can't tell if the baby's diaper is actually wet or just sweaty...(well not really, but...)
we are all just kinda moist all the time now
the dog pants even when she sleeps
i think i saw the cat cutting her own fur the other night.

we are eating everything cold and it really is better that way
now everyday we wear nothing with sleeves
skin on skin has taken on a whole new meaning to me
kinda feels like being third trimester pregnant all the time

i am having a new relationship with ice water
feeling like wilted lettuce half way through the day...
but i am not seeking out the air conditioning--that is for sissies
we are walking in it, biking in it and getting by
hot

since

10 years since the tire blew
since the car left the road
since the swim out, sinking, soaking, treading water, climbing, bleeding,
breathing so hard i could feel the blood rushing in my ears...

10 years since starting over
since being blessed with brokenness
since giving it all away
to grow something again

10 years since drowning
since dying, since deciding, since floating, since choosing to swim over sinking

since white water and redwoods
since giant rocks and ravens
since closing down as it all opened up wide
welcoming

it went down as i climbed up...
up to the air, up to the light, to the road, to life
all was not lost in the river

trinity gave birth to me since 10 years have passed.
nothing since has changed me more
even after



(image from web: www.mikeread.co.uk)

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be soft in your practice.
think of the method as a fine silvery stream, not a raging waterfall.

follow the stream, have faith in its course.
it will go its own way, meandering here, trickling there.

it will find the grooves, the cracks, the crevices.
just follow it.

never let it out of your sight.
it will take you....

- sheng-yen.