I hadn't written about my experience at Alma Paradiso yet. It was one of the most transforming, glowing times of my life, even though it had moments of distress. And today I've been given even more joy because of that weekend.

It started arriving Thursday as the set-up crew. We skinny-dipped in the warm midnight waters, spun fire in the parking lot (who knew that Blue & Mark were so good!) and finally went to sleep. I woke up the next morning to find my Suburban, the borrowed trailer it was towing, and all the goods inside were gone, including my video cameras (the lifeblood of my business), a computer, projector, generator, etc.

For some reason - maybe I was given a grace just that moment - this didn't bother me at all. I felt none of the sense of violation that others report on being robbed. Instead I said to myself and others, "it's just stuff... no one was hurt, and no one had ill intentions to me personally." I meant it, and still do. Practically speaking, I had insurance that I hoped would cover it all. And it looks like it will, after many hours of work getting the claims settled.

I missed the few things that I wanted that weekend. My hat collection, my fire staff, the stage and the stuff for stage visuals that I had brought to enhace the event. But I felt somehow free, that I could have a beautiful experience with the people I loved without any of these things. And indeed, no one said that the lack of a stage or visuals detracted from the event. The performers and the audience and dancers instead blended into one another in the absence of a stage and lighting to emphasize the distinction between them. What a joy!

I was surrounded by love. At the top of the list, Vixxen and Bad Dawg, who shared so much of their resources and time and love with me, and Blue, who spent the entire day driving me through Ensenada chasing government paperwork, when he could have been attending and attending to the event. But then, there were so many other new and renewed friends: Johnny Be Good, Apple Jack & Jason, Jonathan & Zoey, Lynnsane, GirlBoB, Mistress Bee, Jonah, Mark Z, Lisa & Roxy Han, Anna Maltese, Jeffancy, Vitaly, Flutterby... I don't think I've given or received so many heartfelt hugs in such a short time since our wedding 23 years ago.

But what amazes me is the reverberations of that weekend. I've been able to replace all my cameras and computer equipment with upgrades. My business will be better because of it. We're going to get an RV instead of another Suburban and travel and camp in more comfort on trips now, including Burning Man. Everything is better because of the loss. Even losing my hats is good - I get a chance to redefine my visual identity. Smoke Blower is dead, long live Smoke Blower! (arrogant to take that epithet to myself - and probably the mark of the willing fool / vicitm, but so be it).

And most amazingly, I got home late last night from visiting a friend and found a new fire staff on the bed next to Barbara. Seems Vitaly and Bee decided to replace the lost one, and collaborated with Whirligirl and Magnus to have it made and delivered to JP's party last night. It's a whole new design, and I can't wait to light it up. I already knows that it handles a lot better than my old one.

I am humbled by what the universe has given me. I am even more humbled to be surrounded by such wonderful, giving people. Thank you and I love each and every one of you.