My Blog

Help me use Tribe better!

smokeblower — Wed, 03 Oct 2007 16:40:00 GMT

This question has been forming in my mind for over a year now. Once upon a time, I was one of the most vocal, present and informed people in the San Diego burner community. I was able to co-mayor a BRC village of 300 people, host movie nights once a month, help out burners in need, make videos as community gifts, join projects, learn new skills. All this while I was employed more than 60 hours a week in a high stress executive job. What happened? Lots of things - I quit my job, started a company, got in to and out of a couple of relationships, lost my Dad, and re-evaluated my purpose in life (still doing that). Most recently we bought a bus to live in and sold our house. And while all this was happening in my personal life, things were changing in the burner community. Lots of really smart and inventive people like Jones, Random, Mithra & Plaid left for points north. Fred left and came back. Other new smart and inventive people joined in, and I’m very grateful for that and all the new experiences and friendships. But one other major thing happened: The primary vehicle of online communication shifted from yahoo groups to Tribe. And somehow I got left behind. Let me describe the way I communicate online: I have a very fast set of visual and linguistic filters. I funnel all 30 of my yahoo groups into my yahoo email account as individual messages. Yes, that means I personally and visually sift through about 300 messages a day from yahoo groups alone, plus another 100 or so regular emails. I scan them for interesting subject lines, read, sometimes respond with a line or two, sometimes write a long message. But there's just one big list, and as long as I stay on top of it I feel connected. And my Treo (with its very functional real keyboard) allows me to check all that email anywhere I can get a cell signal. In fact, I'm drafting this blog on my Treo now (Tuesday night while lying in bed), and will post it to Tribe tomorrow... Now, as I understand it, Tribe will not send threads ("posts") from any of the 50 or so tribes I am in to my email inbox. I can get a daily digest from each tribe which shows up in my email inbox as much as 24 hours after a post has been made. Or I can get an RSS feed that’s pretty much the same timing – but only if the tribe is public. Private tribes will not send out RSS feeds. I cannot scan the subject line of the digest for interesting messages - I have to open each digest individually and scan through a (potentially) long email to find topics, which because of the digest process may already be quite stale. (Tribe gurus: please help me along if somehow I have missed a key feature in the interface that would send each individual post to my email inbox) So, I guess the preferred mechanism is to go to the Tribe interface. But I've got 50 tribes to look at! Yes it tells me which ones have new posts, but no where does it give me all the titles of those posts outside of the individual tribes, right? So one by one I have to open each individual tribe, enduring the often slow response of the Tribe servers, and scan for new posts. This can easily take 5 minutes per active tribe, where before, with email, all the messages were just sitting in my inbox ready for a quick subject scan, delete, move, or reply. I can survey my 30 yahoo groups and all my personal email in an hour. A thorough survey of the active tribes (maybe 15 of those) takes me almost two hours. Add in the miscellaneous tribes with less traffic, and it's about three hours to catch up on a day's messages. Now, let's say I want to send a personal message regarding a (hypothetical) post on SDBurners to Gecko, and copy Fierce and Luscious... Oops, can't do that as a single operation. I have to forward the message three times (or did I miss something here?). And they can't respond to all - cause they don't know who else received the message. In yahoo groups and email, I would have simply changed the "To:" line from the group to my three intended recipients. Please explain how Tribe is helping me communicate again? So I figure I must be doing something wrong. I mean, I'm one of the old guys here - I'm probably at least 15 years older than the average Tribe user. So perhaps I am just too old to learn how to use this site effectively. Or maybe I confuse community and communication. The way I see things, to be active in a community you have to communicate. But in order to do that you have to be able to see and hear (i.e. read) what others are saying. I used to be able to pay attention to 30 conversations at once in email and yahoo groups. Now I find I can only attend to maybe 5 since I have to drill down deep into the Tribe interface just to stay only a day or so behind! So, it must be me... I just have to learn how to scan Tribe as fast as I can my email box, or abandon about 75% of my Tribes... Please help me figure this out. I feel so stupid and lonely!

The end of an era: The last movie night at Pu'uhonua

smokeblower — Fri, 29 Jun 2007 08:39:19 GMT

Well, it's about time, isn't it? That place was boring anyway. A couple of years ago we talked about alternatives to make it possible for us to hold on to our bourgeois lifestyle while maintaining a self-styled hedonistic / artist / bohemian ethic. Turns out that's really hard to do, and in some ways not very rewarding. But we also thought it might be good to maintain some continuity for our kids as Mom & Dad went otherwise insane. But the time has come... Our kids (bless them) are moving out sometime next month.... So: The Virgin Burner Orientation and Movie Night will be the last of its kind at our home in Escondido. After the kids are out, we'll spruce up the place - that is, we'll rob it of any remaining character so that it will appeal to THE MASSES and we'll put it on the market. And we'll price it under market so as to get a response from this slow real estate market. (I'm waiting for the deluge of burner realtor phone calls in response to this.... I said, "I'm Waiting") The spirit of Pu'uhonua, however, will live on. We think the idea of a "place of refuge" is very important. It will become mobile after we sell the house: We are buying a 40' bus / RV and will live in it for a few years. We'll modify it to make it ideal to display my video art and provide a haven for those in need of Luscious's healing hands. We'll travel the country, get to various burner events, see places we haven't seen, and meet new friends and lovers, while still maintaining a home base on a friend's farm in Valley Center. I hope this maudlin sentimentality hasn't dissuaded anyone planning to come to the party this Saturday. And if there's anyone thinking, "Ah, there'll be another one," this would be a good time to change your thinking. We will definitely have a big garage sale and obtanium party. We may have a clean up party. But this is the last themed movie night that we can give to the community, at least for a little while until we make our events travel. So, I hope to see all my burner, proto-burner and other friends this Saturday. Virgin Burner Orientation starts at 4pm. Movies start at 8pm. We'll go all night and well into the morning, and anyone left after Sunday morning clean up gets to go to the beach with us... Love, Smoke Blower

Aftereffects and the source of language

smokeblower — Tue, 20 Feb 2007 18:32:43 GMT

This is the first time I've blogged in two consecutive days. Personal loss is new to me, and part of my therapy is through writing. And I truly and deeply appreciate all the responses of love and support. Last night, the same day I arrived home at 3:45 am after driving all night with Insp. Gadget from San Francisco and the BM Regional Summit, I got a call from my Mom's nurse that she'd had a stroke and was being taken to the hospital in Long Beach. Luscious and I drove there and found her physically as good as could be for 86 years old, but unable to communicate meaningfully. Her voice was strong, she followed each of us with her head and eyes, and squeezed my hand. But she could only repeat what was said to her as would a parrot, rather than initiate sentences of her own. She said shortly after my Dad died that she had nothing else to live for. Now I wonder what thoughts and feelings are in her heart and mind... I'm hoping that she is seeing images of her love for us and her husband of 64 years, and our love for her. I hope she feels the strength of my fingers and the brush of my lips on her cheek and at some level knows she is loved. I hope that she hears the words of love and encouragement, and that while she only repeats phrases without apparent meaning it is because a part of her is trying very hard to communicate that she is still here. I'll hang on to these hopes and continue to see her whole again. This is much harder than seeing my father's lifeless body in his hospital bed. His spirit passed on as a whole while his body failed. He left with grace and acceptance. My Mom's spirit is being slowly deconstructed, while her body remains strong. The photo was taken of them 24 years ago on their 40th wedding anniversary, the year Barbara and I were married.

Death and renewal

smokeblower — Tue, 20 Feb 2007 00:48:30 GMT

A few months ago I was named one of the three San Diego regional contacts by Burning Man. This weekend they invited all the regional contacts to San Francisco for a conference. And from that, I have to tell you all a short story. Only four years ago I went to my first Burning Man at age 46. Two years later I became one of the self-employed, leaving my high pay high stress executive job at Sony. In that journey into new community and new values I lost a great deal of anger and self-loathing, and tapped into a source of creativity and joy within myself that had lain dormant since childhood. A pretty common Burning Man story for a middle-aged guy, I expect. Three weeks ago my father died. He left us at age 86, at peace with himself and his God. He was always clear about his life's purpose and every action he took, or so it seemed to me. I'll never know, but that's my belief. But I felt not at all at peace. For the last three weeks I walled up my emotions, taking care of my mother and the practical aspects of my Dad's estate. That will continue. Inside I stripped my self down, at least partially, to an earlier age. I asked myself what I'd done for the last 30 years. Especially, I asked myself had my choices of the last four years been right, or was my father's path of Catholicism and a quiet dedication to family and wealth a better one. I didn't shed a single, whole tear, but I certainly wondered about my value to myself, my family, my firends and my planet. One thing I know about myself is that I only cry at moments of powerful truth. Even if they are true only for me, that's enough. Saturday morning, I listened to the stories of the 80 regional contacts there in San Francisco. I cried at some of them. Saturday afternoon I marvelled at the intelligence and passion of the assembly and each person in it as we mapped out a vision for local action and creation, full of clarity, mystery, contradictions and hope. Saturday evening I told some of those there the beginnings of this story, and received back love, understanding and support. And hugs.. I like hugs! Sunday morning I felt the compassion that motivated Burners without Borders to help after Katrina. I felt the need for understanding that created the Seattle temple. Like perhaps all of us, I cried again. And I began to think again that my own small gifts of my films, my enthusiasm for action, and a warm place for the local community to come together at our home were really valid, and important. And I realized that I had made true and right choices for the last four years, and that while my father might not understand the manifestation, he'd have understood the motivation and blessed it. I'm fortunate to begin the second half of my life in tears and loss, in beauty and community. As I did after my first burn, I feel that I've once again stepped onto a whirling platform of fire and dust, a centrifuge that separates that which is necessary from what the years have lain upon me. I know I'll have to step onto that platform again and again - there are yet many layers of rusty armor to sandblast away. And I know there will be other events and people in my life that will bring meaning and to which and whom I can give meaning. But this weekend and Burning Man were a damn good start, I thought, as I once again felt another tear when I arrived home at 3:45 this morning. love to you all! Greg / Smoke Blower

Of Giving and Acceptance

smokeblower — Tue, 04 Jul 2006 18:39:20 GMT

I hadn't written about my experience at Alma Paradiso yet. It was one of the most transforming, glowing times of my life, even though it had moments of distress. And today I've been given even more joy because of that weekend. It started arriving Thursday as the set-up crew. We skinny-dipped in the warm midnight waters, spun fire in the parking lot (who knew that Blue & Mark were so good!) and finally went to sleep. I woke up the next morning to find my Suburban, the borrowed trailer it was towing, and all the goods inside were gone, including my video cameras (the lifeblood of my business), a computer, projector, generator, etc. For some reason - maybe I was given a grace just that moment - this didn't bother me at all. I felt none of the sense of violation that others report on being robbed. Instead I said to myself and others, "it's just stuff... no one was hurt, and no one had ill intentions to me personally." I meant it, and still do. Practically speaking, I had insurance that I hoped would cover it all. And it looks like it will, after many hours of work getting the claims settled. I missed the few things that I wanted that weekend. My hat collection, my fire staff, the stage and the stuff for stage visuals that I had brought to enhace the event. But I felt somehow free, that I could have a beautiful experience with the people I loved without any of these things. And indeed, no one said that the lack of a stage or visuals detracted from the event. The performers and the audience and dancers instead blended into one another in the absence of a stage and lighting to emphasize the distinction between them. What a joy! I was surrounded by love. At the top of the list, Vixxen and Bad Dawg, who shared so much of their resources and time and love with me, and Blue, who spent the entire day driving me through Ensenada chasing government paperwork, when he could have been attending and attending to the event. But then, there were so many other new and renewed friends: Johnny Be Good, Apple Jack & Jason, Jonathan & Zoey, Lynnsane, GirlBoB, Mistress Bee, Jonah, Mark Z, Lisa & Roxy Han, Anna Maltese, Jeffancy, Vitaly, Flutterby... I don't think I've given or received so many heartfelt hugs in such a short time since our wedding 23 years ago. But what amazes me is the reverberations of that weekend. I've been able to replace all my cameras and computer equipment with upgrades. My business will be better because of it. We're going to get an RV instead of another Suburban and travel and camp in more comfort on trips now, including Burning Man. Everything is better because of the loss. Even losing my hats is good - I get a chance to redefine my visual identity. Smoke Blower is dead, long live Smoke Blower! (arrogant to take that epithet to myself - and probably the mark of the willing fool / vicitm, but so be it). And most amazingly, I got home late last night from visiting a friend and found a new fire staff on the bed next to Barbara. Seems Vitaly and Bee decided to replace the lost one, and collaborated with Whirligirl and Magnus to have it made and delivered to JP's party last night. It's a whole new design, and I can't wait to light it up. I already knows that it handles a lot better than my old one. I am humbled by what the universe has given me. I am even more humbled to be surrounded by such wonderful, giving people. Thank you and I love each and every one of you.

8x10 = 80

smokeblower — Sat, 24 Jun 2006 17:21:54 GMT

Well, due to my whining I got 10 tags at once. I think I deserve the castigation more than the adoration. Following Luscious's example, I'm busy writing up 8 items for each tag (80 total). Don't worry, most of them won't be in my typical long-winded style, though it will stil be a challenge to read through. Though a few may. (Deliberate ambloguity alert) But it will take some time... Blog to post no later than Sunday evening...

Feeling left out

smokeblower — Tue, 20 Jun 2006 23:16:16 GMT

You know, I'm not usually a whiner. Well, sometimes. But I think generally I'm a pretty loving person. But every once in a while I have to ask for some love. Where's the love? I mean, all my friends have been tagged. Some more than once. And all of them pass me over. No one's tagged me. Even the people I thought were my very best friends in the world (at least those who are playing) haven't tagged me. Getting my car stolen last weekend with $16,000 of cameras and shit didn't bother me in the least, though recovering the money is proving to be quite the hassle. But this tagging thing has me depressed.

Change is good, part two

smokeblower — Wed, 22 Mar 2006 18:09:53 GMT

Change is good, part two Midway upon the journey of our life I found myself within a forest dark, For the straightforward pathway had been lost. --Dante’s Inferno, Canto One At the end of 2004 I quit a high-pressure, high-pay job with Sony to pursue my own business and do creative work. It wasn’t the first time in my life that I’ve made major changes. In 1984 Luscious and I purchased a coffee farm in Honaunau, Hawaii, lived on it, operated it and generally went native. That is, we were very happy, lived simply, but we made next to no money. Our kids were born there. Since then we’ve moved to Texas and back, following jobs, money and the desire to change – irrespective of goals, ‘cause there really weren’t any! By the middle of 2005, I hadn’t gotten the business going, and defaulted to another high-pressure, high-pay job, with a 3 ½ hour round trip commute to a company whose CEO managed by public humiliation. I was absolutely miserable. So miserable that I defeated myself and got fired this January. I refuse to walk the straightforward path. I will not return to the corporate life. So we’re once again starting our own businesses, following the belief that one can live a creative life and live reasonably comfortably. Luscious will complete the first class in massage school and will be a massage technician next month, and will continue her training to become a holistic health practitioner. I’m starting two video services businesses, one for consumers and artists, one for businesses. I’ll do some A/V and home computer installation consulting on the side. But this time, there’s a business plan, money to start it, and a much stronger sense of discipline behind the effort. Change is good: Our home, Pu’uhonua, has been a refuge for Burners, our friends and our kids’ friends, for 3 years. The door is always open. But it’s an expensive place to live and maintain, and at the same time a source of potential cash for building this business. While we do not want to move or lose the home, we’re preparing for that eventuality by fixing it up for sale. We’re looking for a miracle…