K, here's one i hope my parents don't read but i'm not going to stop on that account. I hope this generates some feedback as i always hope to learn from my cuddlosopher colleagues in the field. Here we go...

I am an admitted snuggleslut and have been for years. I have had periods where I get snuggles on a weekly basis at least once a week and I can say it's been a great benefit for me during times of being single. When in a relationship it's been a determining factor on the health of that relationship.

I have a friend who distinguishes between cuddles and snuggling. Cuddles are the non-sensual variety, like one cuddles a kitten or their child. Snuggles can get into the realm of being more sensual. In our friendship that was a good tool for managing the uncomfortable realm of erotic overtones as she and I had been sexual in the past and at that moment she was healing past childhood sexual abuse and not able to be sexual with me.

In my time of dating people i've noticed an alarming amount of sexual abuse and woundedness which indicates the epidemic proportions that we have in our society.
I read it all the time in the news and it makes me want to do something. My own sister was victimized at a festival while getting a massage treatment and the justice system she is dealing with is almost worse than the actual incident that spawned the process. I think sex education should account for the amount of abuse that's in the world and show both male and female people entering their sexuality that this is real and needs to be approached by all in a conscious way. Perhaps then there'd be fewer rape victims, more ability for women to talk about their need to be safe from abusers.

Back to cuddles and snuggling..it has been shown that warm touch produces the pituitary hormone or "bonding hormone" in the body called oxytocin which is said to among many things aid in reducing stress levels in both sexes.

www.nih.gov/nihrecord/02...6/story03.htm

Seems obvious when you think about it, how you feel after recieving even a handshake or a hug let alone a good nuzzle and cuddle. I've discovered over time that some people are more capable cuddlers/snugglers than others. I suppose this has to do with comfort levels and trust etc. Here are 5 suggestions to end off with that can assist people based on my experience and research in the art of cuddling.

1. When cuddling with a friend or someone new where it hasn't been established whether the connection is going to be sexual or not it's good to never make assumptions. If a person has boundaries they feel on any level its important to
make them known. One way is how one dresses for bed. Getting naked, even if that's how you normally sleep, is not appropriate if you're with someone who might think they're getting sex that night. Wearing unsexy jammies or the like is a subtle message that its about sleeping not about getting it on.

2. If you're wanting to be more sensual with snuggling but not necessarily dive into full on sex, that will need even more levels of communication. Talking openly should become a skill that you carry and feel confident with eventually.
Taking control of the hands that roam and placing them where you are comfortable or using the traffic light idea of "red/orange/green" light allows one to explore the sensual with a degree of control. Hovering in the "orange' light for instance could be very exciting without compromising your need to avoid going further for whatever reason held.

3. I have a friend who had a roomie she snuggled with who she didn't want to get too emotionally entangled with but enjoyed the contact. Roomies are a tricky situation to be sure. Some roomies go on to enter relationships and even get married i've witnessed but that's not always the way it's going to roll. To be able to deal with the intense sexual energy raised they had a tactic that involved going to separate rooms when it reached a certain point and releasing the tension on their own before resuming snuggling. Seems to have worked for them, i have yet to experience this method. A variation on this for the erotically inclined is to experiment with non penetration methods of being sexual but it should be noted that sex no matter what form it takes tends to bring up the bonding tendency and can lead to emotional feelings that will need to be sorted. For the ethical slut this might be easier than for those not so experienced in pleasure sharing for its own sake and should never be foisted upon someone just because its easier for one person than the other to manage this ability.

4. Past lovers or partners can make great snuggle friends. May not be a great idea during a break up. In fact most of the time i'd say that's the case. Later on though when things even out it can be very rewarding to feel safe with another whom you've crossed a distance with and established safety with. Much safer than someone new where all this needs to be laid out from scratch. Still, there is the need for communication always as feelings arise, or the desire to have or not have sex arises. It is one reason however to keep the bridges entact between you and past partners..they make great snuggle buddies later on in life especially when you're both single.

5. I think as an important part of making contact with people is how we separate off afterwards. When we bond with each other, that oxytocin does it's thing, it's easy to start taking parts of each others energy away with us into the next day. This gets more metaphysical perhaps, dealing in aura's and such, but i hold it as true for me. It is good to consciously reign in ones aura when departing from another, whether it be friend or lover. We need to consider our aura as personal ecology that needs to be maintained. Merging with others is a special thing, sacred, and can be done without unconsciously dragging it all completely into our personal folder of being. We can be two whole beings connecting in moments and then separating. To me this is a recipe for emotional health and steering away from co-dependency. This applies to a simple cuddle where deep bonding has occured. It keeps the energy clean between two people and says we care about ourselves and each other. I often like to do this with those I cuddle or snuggle with or make love with as a closing ritual of sorts.
They often thank me for it afterwards.

Big ups to all my cuddle/snuggle buddies who have kept me sane this far..