iBlog

Goodbye, old friend.

sonyalynn — Sat, 03 May 2008 18:02:34 GMT

This morning, I had to say goodbye to my companion of the last 18 years, my cat, Aslan He'd been sick the last few months, but had been responding reasonably well to the treatment my vet had been giving him until just the last couple of days, when he degenerated rapidly. I got to spend last night and this morning with him, holding him, petting him, and generally doing everything I could to be of comfort to him. I hope this at least helped him to be happy before he died. For 18 years, starting as a tiny black fuzzball that would fit in the palm of my hand, he was with me through ups and downs, massive upheavals, major transitions, and even cross country moves. (I think he traveled more than many humans, as a matter of fact...) Through it all, he was sweet, loving, affectionate, and basically just about the best companion anyone could ask for. Those of you who met him all probably have your memories of him plopping himself down on you and purring away, and that's exactly as it should be. I'm going to miss him terribly, and will remember him always.

Getting sick of Donuts?

sonyalynn — Mon, 12 Nov 2007 23:18:13 GMT

I'm sorry in advance to anyone who takes this blog post as spammy or whatever, but it IS my blog... I just wanted to remind all my friends on Tribe that Free-Association ( http://free-association.net ) is still up, running, and a lot more reliable than Tribe's been of late. And, since my co-conspirators and I built the site from the ground up to replicate (and, where possible, even improve on) both the functionality and the "freak-friendliness" and everything we love about Tribe, I can't help but feel that it makes a good alternative. Like Tribe, the focus on FA (or, as we like to call it, "free-ass" >:} ) is, was, and always will be the group discussion in our Associations (our Tribe-alikes). Of course, you still get profiles, blogs, calendars/events, customizable home and profile pages, testimonials, and more as well. We even have features that Tribe never did. For example, you can actually ban that troll from your association and otherwise leave it public, and appoint moderators to help you run things the way you want to. You can even delete your association without having to email an admin for help/permission. It's YOURS...not the members', not ours, yours. (OK, yes, we have an Abandoned Association policy for when an asso owner doesn't so much as log in for over 90 days, someone else is interested in running it, and the owner can't even be bothered to reply to an email asking whether they'd like to keep it in their name or are willing to let it go...but you have to admit, that's pretty durned reasonable.) We also give you BBCode for (*gasp*) formatting, images, small file attachments, emoticons, and such in both association and blog posts. Unlike Tribe, FA is constantly and actively evolving...adding new features and refining old ones, and we actually listen to the requests of our members. Hell, our lead developer (the amazing BayouBlue...props, yo!) even made "unread" marks on threads work right...even if you leave an association and come back to it, it actually remembers all the threads you haven't visited since new content was posted! Also unlike Tribe, our site has never had ads...and it never will! (So, no need to block what isn't there! ;-) ) We're completely non-corporate, open-source, and volunteer-developed and -run. We do it solely to make sure that we have a place online that feels like home to us *as members*. And we hope that you'd find it nice and homey as well. And, finally, our site is for grown-ups...it's not sanitized for "the children" (won't SOMEBODY think of them? :-P ) or some advertiser's delicate sensibilities. That obviously doesn't mean that literally ANYTHING goes...but we think you'll get a lot more freedom from us than you will from any corporate social network. We haven't seen the social networking TOU yet that's less restrictive than ours, and we've never seen another SN site so willing to tie the hands of its admins to preserve both your privacy (paging Facebook... http://valleywag.com/tech/scoop/facebook-employees-know-what-profiles-you-look-at-315901.php ) and your freedom of expression. So, try us out if you haven't. If you have, then come on back and check things out anew (the Flame Wars™ are over...check it out!). And remember that, whatever feature you don't see there now, you very well might later...especially if you ask for it! Whatever conversation or Association you want that you don't see, you can easily start and publicize. We want to take you back to the Golden Age of Tribe™ (before Jan Gullette, before "Mature" tags, before eye-searing brick-red and "puking muppets"), only we never want it to end. So, thanks for your indulgence, everyone...you know I don't just wander around flogging FA to whoever will listen often. Now, back to your regularly scheduled program. http://free-association.net

Real ID: Serious Evil We Might Actually Be Able to Stop

sonyalynn — Fri, 04 May 2007 22:05:52 GMT

Hi everyone...I don't blog often, I know...but this was too important to miss. Right now, "your" government is working on figuring out how to implement the Real ID Act of 2005. What is it, you might well ask? Well, the former GOP Congress tacked a rider onto a "must-pass" funding bill (when they couldn't pass it as a standalone bill) which essentially turns your State-issued driver's license or ID into a de facto national ID card which would have many negative implications. But don't just take my word on it...here are some links... Privacy Activism: http://stoprealid.privacyactivism.org/wiki/index.php?title=Main_Page Stop Real ID Now: http://stoprealidnow.blogspot.com The ACLU's Real ID page: http://www.realnightmare.com UnrealID: http://www.unrealid.com Real ID Watch: http://realidwatch.blogspot.com One thing that you can do in the next few days is actually submit your comments to the government expressing your disapproval toward Real ID. Here's a tutorial on how: http://stoprealid.privacyactivism.org/wiki/index.php?title=Instructions_for_filing_comments Please pass this along and educate everyone you can. Submit a comment, write/fax/call your congresscritters, and get others to do the same. Real ID is just one more brick in the edifice of the new BushCo-sanctioned police state and surveillance society, and one that we might actually be able to prevent. Folks from across the political and cultural spectrum (even conservatives and evangelical christians!) are all lining up against this thing alongside the usual coalition of liberals, libertarians, and civil rights activists. Read on to see my own submitted comment... Thanks everyone, -Sonya == Reference: Docket number DHS–2006–0030 To Whom it May Concern, The guidelines set forth for the implementation of the Real ID Act of 2005 are sufficiently flawed that, in my opinion, this act should be promptly revoked. Real ID does very little, if anything, to combat terrorism, illegal immigration, or any of the numerous threats, real or perceived, which it was intended to address. Instead, it sets forth what can only be described as a false sense of trust and security which will only have an effect completely antithetical to what was intended. Among the many strikes against Real ID... 1) It either immediately relegates to second-class status anyone with difficulty obtaining birth records (such as everyone who lost theirs in the flooding of New Orleans, many legal immigrants, and the already economically marginalized), or creates such loopholes to accommodate people in such unfortunate circumstances as to make the "source documents" requirement quite useless against those who would abuse the system, but only inconveniences law-abiding citizens. 2) It creates an estimated unfunded mandate upon the States of roughly $20 Billion, and places burdens upon "front-line" DMV workers that they were never meant to face, such as authenticating birth records from all over the world. 3) It further marginalizes the severely economically disadvantaged who may not be able to afford a $98 ID card, to say nothing of the process of procuring source documents that would not already be in their possession, and which are often expensive to acquire. 4) A single, unified database only provides would-be identity thieves with the largest "honey pot" ever devised, and recent data breaches from various federal agencies are not confidence-inspiring regarding data security. 5) The guidelines for including a race designation in the mandated machine-readable bar-code only facilitates the unethical and illegal practice of racial profiling. 6) The incredibly granular level of tracking ability on every single citizen of the United States provided by Real ID is extremely privacy-invasive. The federal government has no business knowing which bars I might frequent, for example. 7) It creates huge potential problems for the transgendered, who already have enough issues created for them in many States by draconian policies regarding those States' IDs. And that's just the tip of the iceberg. Real ID is just one more step down the slippery slope to a surveillance state which is the exact opposite of that envisioned by this nation's Founders...one of whom, Ben Franklin, famously said, "They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security." Please scuttle this ill-conceived, poorly-designed, burdensome, and ultimately dangerous act. Thank you, Sonya Hipper

!#^@!&*^ing "Tag" Game

sonyalynn — Mon, 19 Jun 2006 20:55:45 GMT

Mumgle-grumble, razzafrazzin...thanks Jen. *gives FriendlyJen the Evil Eye™* Here goes: 1. There's very little about me that "no one else knows" 'cause I talk about everything to just about everyone. I like to call it "external processing." (So, I'll settle for "that not many people here know"...) 2. A physical picture actually exists (framed and at my parents' house) of me being blessed by Pope John Paul II. And this after having reportedly pissed on the priest that baptised me as Catholic. (I started "recovering" for myself when I was about 12.) 3. My first sexual partner and I met that very day while I was wearing green tights at an SCA mini-event on the UCSC campus back in late 1989. How geeky is that? ('Course, she was a sexy, perfectly curvy, ringleted redhead...ohhhhhh, yeah! ) 4. I have, twice now, been left for guys whose online handles readily lent themslves to the pejorative nickname "Roadkill". 5. I get a guilty pleasure sometimes out of watching pro wrestling. There's just something about the spectacle of people willing to be thrown through stacks of folding tables that amuses me. *hides head in shame* 6. In college, I was the object of much confusion (and lust) for a very conflicted Mormon grrl for about a month and a half. And yes, we did. Often. *chuckles* 7. I can remember tech specs and lines I saw in movies...only once...a decade ago...with startling clarity, but have piss-poor retention for conversations. 8. I was, at one point in my life, 3 grades ahead of my age, and started high school at 11. And the cycle of evil ends with me as I'm not tagging anyone, so there! :-P

Free-Ass goes Mainstream Media, baby!

sonyalynn — Thu, 08 Jun 2006 05:00:05 GMT

A little more than a month ago, I went to Washington DC to tell the attendees of the CFP 2006 ( http://cfp2006.org ) conference the story of FA's founding thanks to the valiant efforts of our very own Deborah ( http://people.tribe.net/bca573bf-1aa4-4832-a2e5-b3d20547647b ). It's good to have well-placed friends...in her case, she's an organizer of CFP and even went so far as to get a Social Networking panel on the schedule for this year, just a few months after our launch. Now, I'm not going to say that she did all that just to get my sorry ass in front of that crowd of privacy and liberty-loving geeks, but it certainly was a delightful synchronicity. One good thing that came of my talk was that a beeline was made for me after the panel by one Sara Kehaulani Goo of the Washington Post, who expressed great interest in the notion of 1,400+ Tribe users flipping Tribe a big, fat bird by going off and starting and populating a competing site like http://free-association.net I answered a few questions, info was swapped, and I interviewed with her at some length the following Monday. I also put her in touch with Deborah, as well as Mateo and Shatter (she wanted to talk to folks who'd actually run afoul of "TOU Guy"...you'll have to go over to http://free-association.net to look them up, of course), and I waited. Well, as of 9PM PDT, the article ran on the Post's web site— http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/06/07/AR2006060702310.html —so check it! It will also appear in the dead tree edition tomorrow morning. The article does it's best to be even-handed, but Tribe does come off looking like something of an ogre and Darian, Mr. Tribe-Veep-of-Marketing like something of a corporate stooge who cares for nothing more than the interests of the investors and advertisers...but not at all for the users whose eyes are supposed to be steered toward those advertisers. By contrast, Deborah and Mateo both come off very reasonable indeed in a sort of "look, adults need to be able to be adults already" kinda way, as does my erstwhile panel-mate and Stanford cyber-law maven Lauren Gelman ( http://cyberlaw.stanford.edu/blogs/gelman ). Me? I ended up on the proverbial cutting room floor along with Shatter. (Must remember to speak in sound-bites next time!) Would it be arrogant to say that the Free-Ass rebellion might be getting underway in earnest? Eh...probably so, but I expect we'll see a spike of lookie-loos and an accompanying spikelet of new users. We're definitely on the map, though. GAWDS, I'm proud of our Free-Ass site and the community that it's engendering!

Ms. Sonya Goes to Washington

sonyalynn — Sun, 07 May 2006 01:54:37 GMT

I just went to Washington, DC, to speak on a panel at the CFP (Computers Freedom & Privacy) conference about social networking, where my contribution was the story of the founding of http://free-association.net Read all about it here: http://free-association.net/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=331

I put up new pictures...

sonyalynn — Tue, 25 Apr 2006 20:53:14 GMT

YAYYYY!

OK, let's use this thing for my social dilemma.

sonyalynn — Tue, 29 Nov 2005 22:24:05 GMT

This is something that's been on my mind a lot lately (and consuming a fair chunk of my recent time with my therapist), and sorry if it sounds a bit whiny or self-indulgent but this IS a blog, after all... I find myself in a Catch-22 regarding my social patterns, meeting new people, realizing my fantasies, and the like. In a nutshell, I'm feeling a real need to be social and make connections, both platonic and otherwise, but not finding many venues in which I'm comfy or happy doing so. Online's usually been my best venue for meeting people. I've met some great people on Tribe, over IM, long ago on irc, and even on personals sites like Adult Friend Finder and Alt.com. I've even formed some longer-term sustainable relationships of varying sorts (Beca, Katie, Gina, Dana, my ex Lisa, and more). In fact, I can count the number of friends, current and past, I've met over my adult life in "RL" venues on my fingers and probably have a few left over. I expect that will continue to be the case as I always feel like the written word is how I put my best foot forward, and how I can not feel so invested in a particular outcome as compared to RL parties and get-togethers, which I find very frustrating by comparison. I mean, how worked up can you get about someone "disappearing" from your life when they're still just words on a screen? But, once I've met someone online, things often become increasingly difficult to schedule in RL. All too often, I get asked, "why don't we meet at Bondage-a-Go-Go/Power Exchange/Black Sheets/Kinky Salon/etc.?" Thing is, I REALLY don't feel comfortable in such places, owing to the very sexual presence of men, which just puts my teeth on edge. Clubs annoy the hell out of me for being loud (usually with music I do NOT like), crowded, and difficult places to actually talk to someone. Not to mention the way they make me feel like some coarse and graceless sort of toad-creature thanks to the inexhaustible supply of tantalizing, gyrating houris. Bars aren't much better. Even otherwise potentially interesting venues like Fairy Butch and Miss Kitty's Scratching Post are ruined for me by these things (and one or two others, such as the presence of individuals I actively despise and would literally cross the street to avoid and the always encroaching presence of the Genderqueers, which is another post altogether and not something I want followed up on here. Suffice to say, I don't like their company on the whole.) Pretty much the only RL venues in which I feel comfortable are women's play parties (which are too damn rare!), one-on-one (e.g. the proverbial "date") meetings, small and intimate gatherings, or places where I or someone I know and trust have hand-picked the attendees, such as my Movie Nights. To get to the crux of it, I feel as though I'm competing for time with the women I find interesting against pretty much the entire rest of the world, and I almost inevitably lose. They can either schedule time with me or go to some favored place to which I would almost certainly react in an downright uncontrollably phobic manner. So, I don't know which is worse, the "disease" or what I've had several people put forward as the "cure", which is repeated exposure to these same places I despise until I'm somehow desensitized. Putting on a front and making meaningless small talk are NOT my idea of a good time, but then, neither is finding out my primary's off with another partner for an evening and being unable to make plans if I'm not feeling a desire to be alone. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if more of the wonderful people I know would love to spend whatever available time I have with me were either a) actually in or around the SF Bay Area, or b) not so bloody hard to schedule with. Or, for that matter, if some of the local connections I'd made and had started to really warm up to didn't just seem to fall off the face of the earth in classic "net-flake" style. Now THAT'S validation for ya. *sighs* Odds are, many of you reading this have heard me rant on this topic before, but I want to put those beautiful brains on my friends-list on the case, bouncing off one another as well as just me. If you're on that list, please comment. Be bold, don't pull any punches...give me some ideas or show me something I haven't thought of yet because right now, I'm just spinning my wheels in some mental mud and succeeding only in spattering myself. And all that's before we get into my long-standing Asperger-esque lack of social skills, but we'll burn that bridge when we come to it. First, let's deal with just being in the places that have the people and things to do... Thanks, everyone. *hugs to all of you* -Sonya

Hmmm...

sonyalynn — Tue, 19 Apr 2005 21:52:26 GMT

I seem to have a blog. How very.