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My name is Thomas/Tom/Tommy Barnes. I am also known as Tommie, StarChild, FaerySir, and Sister Kali Vagilistic X. P. Aladocious. I started life much like everyone else. On August 1st, 1968, I was birthed from a vagina. Rumor has it there was a penis involved 9 months prior to that. (Rumor not confirmed.) Then I was adopted shortly after birth.

I was born and raised in Plymouth Michigan, doing the basic things that all children do; isolate in the woods, look at all the pictures in the encyclopedia starting with letter A working my way to Z (then each Year Book), attending a Baptist private school, and singing in the church choir.

By age 18 it was time to leave. 13 days after my 18th birthday I was on the road to Phoenix Arizona. I lived there for 8 years, learning the finer points of DV relationships, alcohol, and drugs. While finding the time to get a cosmetology license, worked 5 years behind a chair, then obtaining an instructor’s license and teaching.

1992 - The turning point of my life.
This was the year that I picked up my first book on witchcraft; I broke down all my core beliefs, opened myself to the universe, and touched the energy that is all around us. I asked myself: “who am I?” and tried to find the answer. I placed my foot on my own path, a path that would only be laid out before me when I would take the step. I received a “calling” the gods called me to be one of their own, to live a magical life, and be a priest and a healer.

It was fate that brought me to San Diego, July 4th 1994. I arrived here, and while being offered a chance to stay, new there was something here for me and I must stay to experience it. I was challenged by spirit, ex husband, myself, and the world around me; and I met that challenge head on. I immersed myself in drugs and spent the next 2 years meditating on who I was.

Samhain 1996, I took a deep breath and roused myself from my deep state of meditation. I, as I knew myself, had died, and the butterfly emerged. It was time to answer my calling. And I did so with full abandon. I awoke to my spirit and transcended the covering I embody on this plane. The faery stepped through the vale and breathed the air of the physical plane. I, the fae, grabbed hold of this body and plaid with it, and it was good.

To be encompassed in human form, one must play in their world and I did…

In 1998 I became active in the San Diego leather community, and by 1999-2000 I was the first Knight of Leather (a liaison for the leather community to the Imperial Court). I produced and/or participated in fundraisers raising money for the scholarship fund, Bears SD, participated in the toy drive, and blanket drive. I was a founding member of the San Diego boys of Leather, and co-produced their first anniversary, second anniversary, co-created and co-produced the Boys and Girls Training Academy, as well as the SD Boys -Daddy and Boy contest. During this time I joined my Daddy, and became Tommie - becoming the newest member of a prominent leather family.

In addition, on Samhain 1998, I began studying the Feri tradition, under the teaching of Dominic Bridwell. And in November of 2003 I was initiated Priest of the Feri tradition, further strengthening my connection to the world of magic and deity. This is the prime focus of my life and all that I do is through this “filter.” I work closely with deity, and manifest their presence on this plane.

In 2004 I completed a BS in Human Services, found the radical faeries sanctuaries, and secured my current job – Health Educator, Gay Men’s Health Program of Family Health Centers of San Diego. The sanctuaries offer me the opportunity to go, now, to the Mother lands - to radiate light and love with other fae.

GMHP is the organization holding the county contract for HIV/STD prevention and outreach to GLBT community in San Diego County. I conduct presentations on HIV and STD prevention, as well as how it relates to recovery. In addition, I helped develop the current curriculum for the Gay Men’s Relationship and Empowerment Retreat, where I am also a primary planner and presenter. I am also creating a curriculum for an additional group I conduct weekly for sero-oppsite relationships. GMHP, as well as I, conduct outreach at all the local bathhouses.

I am in a 5-year relationship with a wonderful spirit, by the name of Virgil, and I also have a boy whose name is J.B. I live a blessed life of a free spirit, free to live, love, and be loved. I am not bound by top, bottom, old guard, new guard, protocol, and expectations of others - for the fae may live in this world but are not bound by the rules of this world.

My desire to be a Sister of Perpetual Indulgence is fueled by the opportunity to marry the fragments of my personal life, business life, and spiritual life through the use of a white face and makeup. Being a Sister, for me, is the coming together, the mergence, of all my energies, with an opportunity to then focus that energy in order to give it back to the communities. It is also my wish, that I can use my station as a Sister to help develop a more cohesive radical faery community here in San Diego. It is a blessed gift to be a Sister, a gift that cannot be held, but must be given away. It is my hope that I can continue to pass this gift, as those have, who have gone before me - with honor, dignity, and grace. May Sister Kali destroy the ideas of sin, right and wrong, good and bad, hate, fear, and all the many demons in which they disguise themselves!

With Love, Lashes, and Glitter,
Sister Kali Vagilistic X.P. Aladocious

Bright Blessings and Dark Dreaming.