Liz is the the Boy I always wanted to be when I grew up.

The phenomenon of natural selection occurs in part because of Liz. This is because whenever she is around, one’s senses become heightened, one becomes wary of one’s surroundings, and the fight-or-flight response is awakened. A prank is imminent. She will call you posing as a student from your alma mater asking for money (I recently got a call asking to sponsor Amherst Students Seeking Holistic Oneness and Loving Everything), or she will hack into your computer and move files around. But all this only indicates Liz’s consummate ability to transgress conventional boundaries. She is a fugitive of identity and slips through categories faster than she can write an honors thesis - which is pretty damn fast. Even if you don’t know exactly where she is, Liz always knows where you are . . . and that’s why a friend of Liz’s is a friend for life.

Liz is the lizzest of all the tribe. Liz knows more about South Park than I do, and has the vocubulary of a pirate. A fifth-grade pirate. Liz has also been known to rescue innocents from the thoughtless advances of poetic cads with per sharper-than-thou wit. Zie has circled the delicate environs of my hometown, and is happily content to hang on the outskirts, giving me shit. Things were getting dull in frolic-land until zie arrived in her pink convertible and barbie dreamhouse complete with skydiving videos, rave aesthetics and full-on "who's your daddy!" flirtatiousness. I couldn't ask for a better pimp than Liz - zie's the water sprinkler and I'm the one getting wet. Zie even went so far as to offer me peaches last weekend. You'd better have eaten your Wheaties this morning if you want to keep up with Liz.

Liz is an amazing older sister. Obnoxious at times, she is frustratingly usually "right" when it comes to worldly knowledge and wiser sibling guidance. While I have her beat in the areas of fashion and cuisine, she takes the cake on the outrageous and extreme activities with her passion for excitment, adventure and nonconformity. She relishes life by jumping out of planes and soaks up the world around her with her innate curious nature. Liz - personal shout out to you for FINALLY having more "buddies" in a network than me :)