My Blog

BIKE RIDE COMING UP

Sueberry — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 23:12:51 GMT

hey folks As some of you may know, my mother passed away from breast cancer when I was young. This loss affected me very deeply and is something I continue to work through in my adulthood. In an attempt to do something positive and life-affirming in honor of my mother, I am going to be joining hundreds of people in biking for the Breast Cancer Fund. I have always wanted to take part in some kind of event for a cure, but I have never done so for whatever reasons I came up with at the time. Now, I'm just going to bite the bullet and do it! I can't wait! My ride will be a 52-mile ride with 4000 feet of vertical climb - holy crap! If you feel like contributing to the cause, please see my site: http://www.breastcancerfund.org/bao2008/sueswildride630 Any contribution will be as a flat contribution - not as a per mile amount. So, not to worry! You can donate as low as 10 dollars. The money you donate contributes towards advocacy against harsh chemicals in our environment that lead towards cancer and also supports groups in the East Bay that aid people suffering from breast cancer. Thanks! love sue

I (heart) endorphines

Sueberry — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 16:45:55 GMT

The title of this post was in question this morning as I seriously considered naming it "Death of a Romantic". I sat on the train and watched long tall america roll by with its strange wonderful beauty of rusted metal and graffiti and homes and street signs and felt very William Faulkner, very Steinbeck. Not as much W. B. Yeats as I used to. I would have paused to call this a bit sad and how I still wanted someone to live out this poem with me: When you are old and grey and full of sleep, And nodding by the fire, take down this book, And slowly read, and dream of the soft look Your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep; How many loved your moments of glad grace, And loved your beauty with love false or true, But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you, And loved the sorrows of your changing face; And bending down beside the glowing bars, Murmur, a little sadly, how Love fled And paced upon the mountains overhead And hid his face amid a crowd of stars. (Yeats) but I couldn't. I do still want someone to see my face from now until I die. Watch me as I change and grow as I will watch and love them as well. I thought of this a lot on Monday in sad lights and the warmth of my bedroom. But today my mind is deliciously juiced with endorphines because I have started biking for part of my commute on Tuesday. I am already addicted. And I have had the biggest turn-around in my thought patterns where there will be sudden moments where I just think "I am fully heat-open happy" and feel like "what the hell?!?!" I don't know if I mind that beautiful longing sadness not being part of my day today. And I have always secretly loved my beautiful ache, my loneliness - like I was one of Emily Bronte's wildly passionate characters. But part of their beauty was the recklessness with which they just destroyed themselves for all-consuming love. Instead today, I just feel wild and settled and free all at the same time. It is so different and gorgeous and wonderful. And I can still love Yeats with this wild freedom and happiness rather than with shades of love lost or changes undergone. But more with the happiness of a full heart and good things to come. It is good. To start to feel more of an intergalactic cosmic spurt of joy. Its like a big wicked smile orgasm out into the bliss of future and space. Heart so big. OK.... calming it down some. Not crazy here. Just not a poet either. I'm not sure what I want to say here. But a peaceful beauty seems to be entering my mind because of the wonderful brain juices. I might be happily situated in the now today. Start biking. 0 miles to the gallon. No need for stimulants. No road rage in your car. No pollutants created by you. Brain chemistry goodness. Body fitness. love sue

Back from Southeast Asia

Sueberry — Sun, 15 Jun 2008 22:48:25 GMT

hey folks! woo - I went to Thailand and Cambodia for a week and kind of went nuts before and after with busy-ness...! I tried to cram in as much time with my boyfriend before I left and then I had to hit the ground running with work when I got back. BUT! It was a wonderful trip. I got to go with Miss Allison who was so great to travel with. We had a great time together getting lost and being blessed with safety and amazing discoveries. I am still trying to sort all of it out in my mind... when I do, you will get more details. I'm so happy I got the chance to go - used up ALL my vacation time - and so happy that I had the experiences that I did. And of course I have a bunch of photos that I am going to hang all over my room and my cube! Yay! much love to all love sue

fucking awesome

Sueberry — Fri, 16 May 2008 18:48:57 GMT

ok you really need to see this... I can't believe that one guy did all of this with stop motion animation. I want to be that creative!!! http://www.vimeo.com/993998?pg=embed&sec=993998 love sue

The Video Game Name Generator

Sueberry — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 17:28:32 GMT

hehehe this is just too fun http://norefuge.net/vgng/vgng.html We are pitching game concepts right now at work and one of my co-workers sent us all this site to have some fun with. It's really hilarious! love sue

You Got The Silver

Sueberry — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 18:28:05 GMT

"Hey babe! What's in your eyes? Is that the diamonds from the mine?.." The drive in to work today had the trees lined with gold and the fields rolling in front of me. I thought of the "old days" of all my wanderings as I listened to The Rolling Stones and thought of long tall women in boot-cut pants and how maybe I would draw a series of them called "TEXICANS". If you haven't heard "You Got the Silver", it's worth a listen... though I do I have to say that Keith Richards could totally rock out a little longer at the end. But at least "You can't always get what you want" and "Gimme Shelter" are also on the same album. And "The floods is threatning / My very life today / Gimme, gimme shelter / Or Im gonna fade away" are the right words and notes for the sunlight and my heart in it. I frequently wish that I had a partner in these moments - but currently sitting in the passenger seat is the shifting ghost of some past and current companions - past or future smiles, echoes of laughter. This ghost has the feeling of a flickering old movie... collapsing into higher contrast through time and flickering between faces and moments. Tones shift to sepia and the light around dazzling as it has polarized with age. He is followed with a moment of poignancy but happiness as well... I find that this is the love that has stretched through my whole life that I am reaching toward... he has always been my glad companion. It makes me smile. Not sure what I am meaning to capture here today. There is something on my mind that is rather elusive. So, I skim the cream off of my feelings and pour it into tales that I put here or into emails. Enjoy the day love sue

Mindfulness

Sueberry — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 18:30:26 GMT

I am thankful for the body that God has given me. It is a beautiful thing. It can walk, run, climb, swim, dance, hop, bounce, spin, skip, hug, stretch, sit, rise, feel, touch, tingle, shiver, and sweat. I am thankful for the arms that God has given me. They are long and lovely, they that enfold my friends and loved ones. They carry physical memories of every embrace given and received. Each pulse carries a memory. I am thankful for my eyes that cry or sparkle. I am thankful for the colors that fire them or the night which cools them. From vantage points, they see endless hills flowing outward turning blue into the distance and the ever-changing cloudscape above them. They touch the mind of God and then scurry away from that vastness. I am thankful for how big the world is, each thing full of wonder, and yet how small we are in the spreading universe. Trees, cells, mountains, oceans, fishes, hands, hairs, stars, tongues, teeth, blades of grass, ants, bees, and every bud reaching forward into the life of Spring - exploding in the joy of creation - forever reaching upward, everything humming with life and rejoicing in the sight of the Maker. I am thankful for a big loud laugh that squeezes my eyes shut and hopes to preserve the moments in which it is sounded. I am thankful for hands that touch, ears that hear, lungs that breathe and sigh with the scents of flowers on the nose, mouth that eats and drinks and kisses and smiles, body that feels, mind that exults. I am thankful for the mind at peace. I am thankful for the mind in harmony. I am thankful for thoughts of love. I am thankful for fellowship. I am thankful for hands that hold. I am thankful for words that touch. love sue

so much to say

Sueberry — Tue, 19 Feb 2008 20:32:52 GMT

Since Christmastime I have thought often of the words of Jacob Marley to Ebenezer Scrooge from Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol: "Business! Mankind was my business. The common welfare was my business; charity, mercy, forbearance, and benevolence, were all my business. The dealings of my trade were but a drop of water in the comprehensive ocean of my business!" I had listened to A Christmas Carol on a podcast, and I had never been so struck by these words before. They seemed to ring through my spirit, echoing in the tones of my own voice. And I have since been asking myself... "what have I done for mankind?" "What does my life even mean?" "How am I represented in this world?" "How does what I do make a difference to anyone but myself?" I am not a Bush fan. I think that he and his administration have truly defined the word deceit. I find him an appalling warmonger. And I believe that he and people like him ape christian behaviors to justify their doings to a people hungry for stability. Our people have clung to these self-righteous men who have been incapable of admitting wrongdoing - clung to them out of a desperate need for identity and sense in a world that is increasingly gray. We have been frightened. And we have been diverted from the moral code that was traditionally American... love thy neighbor, help the helpless, and seek truth and justice and honor despite the cost to oneself - a code that had much more to do with old chivalric values than the notions that now seep into our society... notions that influence us to indulge in every addictive behavior that there is - to glut ourselves on our own excess and ignore the condition of the world around us. So, my heart is hard against him. But today Bush is in Africa, spreading good will - pushing to provide mosquito netting and other things to effectively stop malaria-caused deaths in the countries there. I find that I am pleased by this action despite my distaste for the man and just because of the good of the action. And I ask myself - WHY hasn't his term in office been about this for the most part? I don't want these gestures of good will to only occur in the last year of presidential office! And I don't want them to only occur during Black History Month. This should be our lifelong concern - in the macrocosm and microcosm... how does my behavior affect the lives of those around me in a beneficial way? Shouldn't we as Americans seek to regain that identity that we long associated with ourselves? Ideas that we held to in our youth when reading heroic novels and poetry... Ideas that moved us forward as an active people rather than a horde of drones that gave up their liberty and personal power? I hope that the American people wake up to what really matters - the welfare and happiness of mankind - and do whatever is necessary to promote these things for their neighbors. We have a representative government... what do we want of ourselves reflected to the world? This is the time for all of us to stand up and decide. GET ACTIVE - if only in just a minor adjustment in your attitude and behavior... it makes a difference. This is what I want for myself anyway. Thanks :) sue

Happy Valentines Day!

Sueberry — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 21:32:20 GMT

Yay! I had been all bitter sister about this day earlier in the year... worried that I would feel sad or lonely or both. But I have been having a wonderful time today making it all about giving to other people rather than worrying about what I might or might not be receiving. It has really changed the day for me and I am so glad. I encourage everyone to spread love and joy without worrying about returns. Just the act of giving can feel really good. love sue

brain barfing

Sueberry — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 18:54:26 GMT

I am getting seriously tired. I've been having the WACKIEST dreams for about two weeks now. I'm hoping what woke me up from this last one is a signal that it is about to end and I can sleep really deeply again. :) Last night I dreamt that I was inside the mouth of a large diseased clown who had turned evil because of something he ate. My friends and I set free the starving models that were caged from the ceiling. They fell to the floor like new-born calves as they struggled to stand on their wasted muscles. We set fire to the bad things inside kitchen cupboards in the clown's mouth and he started to scream and toss water in there. Then, I was caught in the water down near the Cliff House and trying to convince someone that we were on the beach facing west. But I realized that Atom's house was not in the same direction as I thought it was because I could see the golden gate bridge far to the right of me. My artwork for my next book got splashed and I screamed in fear, but then I remembered I had used waterproof ink so I hoped it was okay. It would be a very long walk to Atom's house over many cliffs that started to crowd around me and look impossibly tall. Then I found a cave that was filled with piles of blankets. So, I bounced across them to get through the cave and over to the bridge. And, somehow in all of this, religion came up. And I don't remember what triggered my saying this, but I yelled out to the opposing forces: "WHEN RELIGION IS FOR SALE IT MEANS IT DOESN'T WORK ANYMORE" I heard a disembodied voice speak loudly over the insanity of my dream: "VERY GOOD..." And I woke up. This is why I don't do drugs often... what happens inside my head normally is weird enough. :) much love sue

manifesto

Sueberry — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 19:22:07 GMT

I approve of the spark of a shared idea that lights up the face of a friend. I admire my girlfriends who can be so silly and beautiful and wonderful and young and completely cute and darling. I like to occasionally smile or laugh quietly to myself at a remembered joke, my heart time-traveling to the near or distant past. I disagree with women who wear stiletto heels to Ruby Skye and laugh at myself for my bitchy judgements on them. I enjoy the hungry gaze of a lover when we are both like cats about to pounce. I approve of that darker energy that resonates between two people and of big wolfish grins and of low soft laughter in dim places where glasses clink and a low rumble of conversation softens the room. I approve of fried or poached over-easy eggs. My tongue and fangs anticipate gobbling them up. I like to imagine that this is how a fox feels in the hen house. I also imagine his supreme contentment as his little tongue laps up the yolk. I, of course, use a spoon or a piece of bread. And lots of pepper. I like to hear Allison laugh when I make Homer Simpson noises like "YOWMP" when I eat yummy food. I indulge in the physical memories of kisses, the impression left for a long time after the fact. I love the hands of my lovers that have brought me so much contentment just by touching my leg as we drive. I like what I see in the world when the white clouds pile up ahead of me on my drive to work. I love my own heart when I imagine the letters I would write to god-knows-who if there was just any way that I could really capture my feelings in that particular moment and give them to someone else. I love the people in my life that have created metaphors for me by their actions - one of my old friends was defiantly happy and danced with me in Golden Gate park when he had some bad news hit him. I loved that moment - a "fuck you, I'm happy anyway" kind of thing. I approve of my male friends with whom I get to be a bawdy bitch but also a giggly little girl. I approve of William Butler Yeats, Rumi, e.e. cummings, Pablo Neruda and all the poets whom I have splashed all over my past lovers like buckets of colorful paint. I want more Peter Gabriel in my life, specifically "In Your Eyes", "With This Love" (from Passion), "The Wallflower", "Low Light", etc. I even approve of small amounts of unrequited love that recall past dreams or people and maybe a touch of pain. Because those feelings enhance my thankfulness for what I have and who I love. And I like it when I have noticed that they have been covered over with happiness. In closing, I admire the writer of "American Beauty" especially for this one line: Ricky Fitts: "It was one of those days when it's a minute away from snowing and there's this electricity in the air, you can almost hear it. And this bag was, like, dancing with me. Like a little kid begging me to play with it. For fifteen minutes. And that's the day I knew there was this entire life behind things, and... this incredibly benevolent force, that wanted me to know there was no reason to be afraid, ever. Video's a poor excuse, I know. But it helps me remember... and I need to remember... Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world I feel like I can't take it, like my heart's going to cave in." I am Susannah Kirtland, and I approve of this message. ;)

good horoscope day

Sueberry — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 18:00:01 GMT

So, I read my horoscope on Yahoo today and it said this: "Talking about your hopes for the future with friends and family members is a nice way to pass the day, but it does little to make actual changes happen in your life. It might be time to take a break and go off on your own for a while. Solitude will reignite your individualism and remind you that ultimately, you're the only person who can take you where you want to go in life. Get back in touch with the things you (and only you) want for yourself. Start making them happen." All I could say to this was "RIGHT ON" because I had already been reaching that kind of head space over the weekend. I had a few emotional setbacks earlier in the week, but on Saturday and Sunday it was nice to get down into my own thing instead of worrying about pleasing anyone else. I had the time to spend with people I love and I'm halfway done with my next little art book now. I am very happy about that and VERY happy with the quality of the work. It will be exciting to see it in completion. I have to say that 2007 was BAD ASS in learning how to accept who I am and what I want and being able to go for it without feeling afraid. It is nice to see that 2008 might show even more promise.

Hey! What else can we do now? Except roll down the window and let the wind blow back your hair...

Sueberry — Wed, 16 Jan 2008 19:07:42 GMT

BARROOOOOOO, little wolf cub! Holy cow I had a great weekend. It was such a pleasure to be able to call up a friend and say "hey I have this and that time off and I have to get out of here" and have a YES in response. Wonderboy and I rolled out of here on Saturday morning in the Wondervan and we crawled down the coast on highway 1 stopping to watch big waves and to let me out the door to run around on the coastal rocks and get doused few times. It was my intention to make it out to little islands that I said could be like our own little kingdoms. (I was told "okay - you go first!") So, these were solo adventures that WB got to watch with amusement and to just-in-case report if I got swept off by a rogue wave. We stopped in Santa Cruz to say hellos to folks there which was very nice. And then traveled down to Monterey to see the aquarium and share looks of joy as sea otters swam toward us just before their feeding time. I got to say "Hey Bud!" to every sea creature that I found cute which included otters, shrimp, some varieties of jellyfish, fat and happy sunfish, some sharks, various birds, rays, and many more things. It was an excellent adventure right when I was in SORE need of a road trip. Yay! So thanks to all that were a part of it. I had a great time. love sue

New Year Thoughts

Sueberry — Tue, 01 Jan 2008 17:40:05 GMT

I spent a lot of this year purposely alone... always arriving at events under my own steam and leaving when I wanted to. I felt independent that way. And I believe that I have grown a lot in that regard and I am so thankful for the last year in terms of that. But it is so funny because after all of that striving for independence, I felt lonely last night for the first time in months. How odd to feel lonely at Sea of Dreams but I did. I had friends there that I was happy to see and there were good performances to watch and dance to, so what was the problem? At first I was miffed at not having a date... although I hadn't really wanted one, being rather skittish lately. But here I was thinking to myself "Fuck you, New Year's Eve.. and fuck you in advance, Valentines Day". What was wrong with me? But I think that I figured it out. I had a wonderful Christmas with my sister and her family. It was the best one I had ever had with them. Her twins are now six years old and are very fun and exhausting and jolly to be with. They climbed all over me and smiled up at me with their perfect little faces. On the last day I was there, my niece, Susannah, made gingerbread cookies with her mommy and got us all to sit around the table. "This is our family", she said. Later that day, I helped Sara's husband watch the twins as they played outside. It was a sunny day and I laid down on their wide hammock with my feet hanging off of the edge. Sara's son, Albert, who hasn't been able to speak yet because of autism and birth complications, laid down next to me. He had been so silly all week, making us chase him all over the house and wanting to wrestle all the time. But on this day he laid down next to me very peacefully and sucked his thumb. He put his other hand into my hair and just laid there as I rocked the hammock gently back and forth. The sun filtered through the large pecan tree overhead and lightly brushed his pale cheek. And I felt content. Last night, Jules asked me what my New Year's theme would be, I honestly don't know. But I never know on New Year's Eve what I should resolve to do... I think that I have always approached that holiday like a spent runner - gasping for breath and just being happy having made it to the finish line. But some purpose shifted inside of me during my vacation. And I suppose I have to spend some time figuring out what that is and how to fulfill it. Happy 2008. 2007 was a good year. Here's to the new one.

thanks

Sueberry — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 23:57:36 GMT

I was feeling SO down this morning and considered blogging about how I felt completely spent and I didn't think I could do any more. I felt that I had just been pushing and pushing myself to stay in a good place and that I was just fucking tired and couldn't take it anymore. I drove in wondering if I just enjoyed being unhappy or something. Me - the girl who has been so happy about life lately and crowing about it quite a bit. Maybe it was a sugar low. Regardless of any of that... I am so glad that I waited to write. Not that there is anything wrong with leaning a bit on friends... but I don't really like being depressing all that often. And I sat down to write out my Christmas cards to friends and family - writing how thankful I was that they were a part of my year - and I started to feel so good again. Little lesson - if things seem bad just wait a bit or start doing something that reinforces your thankfulness for what you have.

she smiles her secret smile

Sueberry — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 18:35:22 GMT

she smiles her secret smile in the best moments of her life when wandering through modern art museums or catching a still moment in the midst of a party or remembering old times while driving the morning commute. she smiles her secret smile, secret to herself even. she smiles her secret smile and catches herself at it. her smile widens as she realizes that she has been purely happy for the last ten minutes.

crazy dreams... and I blame Bob Dylan

Sueberry — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 19:03:16 GMT

Last night I had a dream that I was explaining something about work to my boss while using a diagram of a vagina. Somehow the two related, though now I have no idea how. The part I got in trouble for was when I used the word "clitoris". But holding a large picture of a vagina that I had cut into upper and lower halves was not a problem. Now I know I dream in color - I remember the saturated coral-pink of the vagina. Then I dreamed that I cut my hair short to go talk to my ex. It was cut just below my ears and curled on the ends. I was boyish. I attribute this all to "I'm Not There" which was almost like being in a dream itself. It was all cut and pasted together - this busy-ness - and the line that rang true for the whole movie was about past present and future all living in the same moment. Cate Blanchett was AMAZING. I loved seeing her dressed as Dylan. I left the theatre in the gray haze of the wintry skies and I felt infected by her character. I hope you all are doing well much love sue

TEXAS TEXAS YEEHAW

Sueberry — Wed, 21 Nov 2007 20:52:53 GMT

ok... maybe Allison and Mercy will know what I am talking about there... :D Well! I am off to TX for thanksgiving - yay hooray! I can't wait. I should have practiced eating a lot before I left so that I could cram as much Tex Mex in my belly as possible - hehehehe. But that will be ok. Its been two years since I have been home! I am so happy that I get to go there today!!!!!! Happy thanksgiving all.

Mr. Moyers, you rule

Sueberry — Tue, 06 Nov 2007 23:42:12 GMT

If you have the opportunity to subscribe to this podcast or to watch the show on PBS on Friday nights, I cannot recommend "Bill Moyers Journal" enough. He gets to take on issues that much of the main stream media doesn't touch. http://www.pbs.org/moyers/journal/index-flash.html

A.MAZ.ING

Sueberry — Fri, 26 Oct 2007 00:48:48 GMT

Ok this is fucking brilliant. Seriously. Lichtfaktor is amazing!!!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1F5RnaJkIeA Gosh - I want to do what they do...! much love sue

News from Lake Wobegon - My Home Town...

Sueberry — Thu, 27 Sep 2007 02:52:10 GMT

Okay, so I might look like a huge dork... but I really love listening to the voice of Garrison Keillor. He is an amazing storyteller. My parents used to listen to him when I was a little girl and it is wonderful that he is still broadcasting and is still so great. I've gotten addicted to the podcasts and listening to them at work. Anyway, if you wanna get into it, try it out: http://prairiehome.publicradio.org/about/podcast/ I hope you are all doing well. :) sue

Lessons... or: okay... I'm all good for learning for a bit... :)

Sueberry — Tue, 21 Aug 2007 18:10:54 GMT

I was thinking about karma today... but I didn't feel like what I had been experiencing lately had much to do with restoring imbalances from a previous life. I needed the definition of karma to expand because I couldn't think of a more fitting word to describe this past month. For me, it had to do a lot with learning as much as I could from the previous year all crammed into the current month. My own series of wake-up calls from God. Like - getting knocked around a bit till I figured some stuff out. Getting to see myself from different perspectives... gaining a lot more empathy for people that went through a lot with me by seeing things from the other side. Growing my compassion for both sides. Hopefully seeing enough to really learn and grow. So, I was pretty glad to find this definition of karma from a Jain perspective. It felt pretty true to me... true to my experience. Wikipedia can be really great: "Karmas are attracted to the karmic field of a soul on account of vibrations created by activities of mind, speech and body as well as on account of various mental dispositions. Hence the karmas are the subtle matter surrounding the consciousness of a soul. When these two components i.e. consciousness and karma interact, we experience the life as we know it at present. Herman Kuhn quoting from Tattvarthasutra describes karmas as – a mechanism that makes us thoroughly experience the themes of our life until we gained optimal knowledge from them and until our emotional attachment to these themes falls off."

Dreams are the best

Sueberry — Wed, 15 Aug 2007 17:39:43 GMT

This morning I woke up after a dream I had about my mother - something that has never happened. As most of you know, she passed away when I was five years old and my memories of her are a confusion of sensory experiences and the photographs. So, this morning was a real treat. In the dream, I was a small girl again - perhaps three years old - and I was lying in bed with her, cuddled up, facing inward. I had a cold, but I didn't know how to tell her, or I didn't want to bother her with it. So, I just cuddled up closer so that her arms would go around me and she could feel a cough rack my little body if it did. My body was bean-shaped, like most little kids. And I curled up to her like a little primate. Her hair was straight and brown and longer than mine is now. I felt it between my fingertips. And the neatest part of the whole dream happened. I got a small sense of how she felt holding me. Dreams are great because you can be everyone in the dream. And you can take these moments to be the mother holding the child-self. Needless to say, I was in a really good mood this morning much love sue

Meteor shower!

Sueberry — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 20:21:55 GMT

http://www.space.com/spacewatch/070712_perseid_meteors.html THE PERSEIDS "The annual Perseid meteor shower is expected to be at its best this year, producing one or two meteors per minute during peak hours." "The best times to watch will be late night Aug. 12 through dawn Aug. 13." Holy moley... I want to see this. Anyone got any ideas for where to go on Saturday night to watch this? This sounds GREAT!

Hölle, wo ist dein Sieg?!? (or... "me and Jesus give a big EFF YOU to the devil")

Sueberry — Mon, 06 Aug 2007 17:54:44 GMT

(Don't worry - I won't start singing "to hell with the Devil" - hehe) The German literally means "Hell, where is your victory?" -- (the English we are used to is "Grave, where is thy victory?") This weekend was so great. I performed the Brahms requiem twice and went to two parties with my friend Dianne and then collapsed on Sunday from utter exhaustion. I revealed my thoughts to the choir about how one could view the Brahms requiem as a farewell to certain parts of your life - the pain you can go through when a change occurs and the return to life that you can experience on the other side of all of that. And, this one woman came up to me and thanked me for sharing my feelings on it because she said she found herself approaching it from the same angle. So, it was so awesome the last time we sang it... I really felt this "Death, where is thy sting; Grave, where is thy victory?" I sang it loud to the roof of Davies Symphony Hall. I feel my life coming together here in San Francisco with new friends that I love so incredibly much. I sang this part with the most belief and highest form of joy and my own sense of winning through. Sometimes life sends you a bump in the road, but once you are standing again you have to crow a bit. :) Many thanks to Brian and Jille and Jules for coming to my performance on Friday night - that was SO sweet to talk to you there and talk irreverently about my nether parts after singing... hehe. Still wondering how I can FRO out my hair down there for Burning Man and keep it fro'ed successfully. Many thanks to people who complimented my artwork at Adoration and to Captain Erotica and Jocko and Hitch for putting it in the auction... I was so happy to see everyone there. I love the eco-tribe. :D Many thanks to everyone I saw Saturday for many hugs and smiles. Much love sue