Props, flops, and robots

sometimes you just have those good dreams...

sugarduck — Sat, 09 Feb 2008 01:04:16 GMT

The other evening, I had this wonderful dream. I was at a party in Arcata with thousands of people all waiting in line. I went by myself, and found my friends shortly, but didn't feel like that's where I really wanted to do. So I kept mobbing through the party, and I was standing on the top of some stairs looking into the crowd, feeling somewhat overwhelmed. A stalky man about my heighth came and stood by me. He looked at me, and I looked at him, us both realizing we knew eachother some how. The man gave me a thumbs up, and I looked at the mans face to see that it was the one and only Gerber Mack. He had a scar running down the side of his face, but looked no different for the wear. He smiled at me and gave me a huge hug, and a kiss on the cheek. Then he grabbed my hand and led me through the party. I woke up from this dream hopeful and a little meloncholy, and I wanted to share it.

Stay off the road folks!

sugarduck — Mon, 30 Apr 2007 19:19:37 GMT

HA!! After 2 and a half days of the worst fucking depression ever... Today my dad called a half an hour before my behind the wheel test and said that he didn't have a car that I could drive. After telling me weeks ago that he would. So after the biggest anxiety attack ever this morning, lots of tears, and lots of desperate phone calls.... I get ahold of Maddy, and 10 minutes till my driving test, she comes through as always!! And I had never driven her car before, but she let me drive it and I PASSED!!!! WITH FLYING MOTHER FUCKING FLYING COLORS!! That' s right. I have my license. I don't have a car until sometime in the next two weeks, but, I have a license. So you might want to stay off the road now... ha ha And if ever the mutant possibility comes up that I am the sober person.. I can legally be the designated driver... But I think the chances of that are slim. ha!

Wanna be a pinup? I know you do...

sugarduck — Wed, 25 Apr 2007 06:53:08 GMT

Ever wanted to be a suicide girl? A pinup? A pornstar? Henmo Works through Fabcore Productions Incorporated are starting a syndicated "artful" adult website. Photoshoots (subjects being artful nudes, and etc) will begin sometime in May, and we are looking for local beautiful Humboldt Hunnies to pose for us. Our photographers are chill and easy going people... and definatly not creepers. Photographer one is a male student at California School of the Arts, and photographer two is a female photojournalism student and resident artist and poet. Shoots will be going throughout the summer.. We also hope to film "adult" video as well.. Interested? We want you!! and so will everyone else...

you get what you give...

sugarduck — Mon, 16 Apr 2007 19:16:11 GMT

Great things have been happening karmaticly speaking.. But last week I definatly put some negative energy out there, and it is indeed coming back. I'm not buthurt about it either. Time to change that. Karma payment plan.

Kick in the door waving the 44

sugarduck — Sun, 08 Apr 2007 12:22:03 GMT

I have a feeling that if more people knew exactly where I lived. They would kill me.

What if I told you..... Fuck Fiction this is fact

sugarduck — Fri, 30 Mar 2007 10:27:17 GMT

I just got a wonderful CD of the Suicide Kings and the Chico Slam Poets amoung many other artists. Please, please, please, if you have not hear Jared Paul, or the Suicide Kings poetry, please, check it out. You can find them at myspace.com-thesuicidekingstrio or at myspace.com-jaredpaul dot com. It is worth it.

Oh Lord it's a dogs life

sugarduck — Wed, 24 Jan 2007 03:32:22 GMT

And this dog would rather time travel 5 months into the future Where she can scratch the seeded fleas on sun soaked river shores. And watch Chicken legs clamber by in water shoes. Spread out the twister beach Because June is just a game Summer sun makes this dog plain in brain connect the dots connect the days to freedom. Too early to be jailed but that depends on your personal deffination of jail. Sometimes this dog wants to chew her paws off to release mind made chains and restraints. Like money hurt woser than the fleas. Please goddess, Give this dog that social beauty Like Violets.

Take me on a rocket ride

sugarduck — Tue, 23 Jan 2007 01:57:25 GMT

Back and fourth on rocketship shoes sun shines through I don't know what kind of trees. Palm tree bottle rockets spring things in stoned synapsis. Take me on a rocket ride. Can't say I love this canvas campus convulsing in shivers at the heart beat. The forest here looks like it might have bears. Lions and tigers and bears at night. Donald Duck in math land is no match for bears tonight. Swamp water brain cells seep through searing headache. forehead ears go in one then out the other doors getting lost and chlorine stings my eyes now know that whistling trails sing Frank Zappa. I wrote this at school today. And came to these conclusions: Dreaming about bear attacks are weird, Swimming class would be better droped for dance, NEVER NEVER again wear heels to CR, and.. I don't know.. Students there look like they might smell funny

I left my soul there, down by the sea

sugarduck — Fri, 19 Jan 2007 06:59:47 GMT

I float, I float, I float, Red Camaro water ways, fluid to hanks, where the muddy waters of the heart cup flow hot. Looking at the little fluffly little fluffy little fluffy clouds, in arched stlactite wonderland boats. Just a week before. Union was feeling the earth smash on the rocks below. Watching rumi's poetry come to life in my fishtank. Break out of the wine glass and into my hand. Goals in my palms make me nervous because money is like milk, and it doesn't keep forever. One day I will have a wooden house by redwood ocean shores with plastic space helmets that play james brown to keep the cold out. The windows will be the tv screens, and we can be the coloring books. After we get a good education that is. After we get a good motivation that is. So I will float I float I float to stay a float. Trapped in the same boat on uncertain-sea, don't get to close to the wave hurry up and take that picture because the moment might not last long -but who are we kidding in our heads the collective conciousness of it all rests engraved. Sometimes I fall in pieces like pipas on cold spanish cobblestone that I imagine in my head. struggle never stops nightmares see no sympathy are you on the karma payment plan? I've got a sneaking title wave of an inclination that I am. I float I float I float On my back in warm waters Looking into, pretending there are, projectors in the back of my brain that will show me where my grandparents came from in Italy. And the Itialia jacket doesn't help any. Lookling into past life brain projectors of you and me in seperate bodies sharing the same conciousness. Because everyone knows we were together in a past life. The ocean told me so, and the redwood trees confirmed it. So I float I float I float

Have you looked up lately?

sugarduck — Sat, 11 Nov 2006 02:48:08 GMT

Look at the sky these past couple nights around dusk. You will feel blessed.

My choice is what I chose to do, and If it ain't causing no harm it shouldn't bother you

sugarduck — Wed, 25 Oct 2006 10:07:13 GMT

So my Ben Harper mix is the fucking mix of the year just to let you know. I had the most incredible feeling coming home from work tonight. I was listening to the best mix ever and I felt that overwhelmed happy feeling like when you are at your peak on your roll.. I felt elated and my eyes felt like they wanted to cry. I danced all the way home. Mind you nothing spectacular happened at the weenie factory, and as usual I did the work of two people for the pay of one, and I even had to yell at ADM for trying to get money out of my bank account without telling me. But I felt so joyous and blessed walking home. And now that I think of it I felt the same way walking to work. I am blessed. I wish my life was like this all the time. If it was though, I would be like River. lol

Hey yo , you know that letter you wrote me? Don't mean shit bitch

sugarduck — Wed, 25 Oct 2006 02:57:08 GMT

(D-Loc phone) hey yo James, you know that letter you wrote me don't mean shit Bitch laaa la la la (Richter) la la la (D-loc) You shouldn't have been so selfish dog (Richter) And it goes Ha haha ha ha Jokes on ya'll It's mother fucking Richter holdin another castin call Time to check some true colors, time to see who's legit. Clippin all the fake riders, gettin rid of ever Bitch. People thinkin there's a slippin on some serious drugs Cause everywhere I'm out drinkin all I'm gettin is love. I back up from my back up (D-loc) we backin from them cause your worst enemy can be your closets of friends. I've been cooler then sideways some people are worthy Stab a brother in the back the definition of DIRTY. It fuckin amazes me what people would do try to hang out everyday and be apart of your crew Actin like some one they aint perpetratin a lie. Now that it's all said and done can't even look you in the eye. For we gonna rise above and move forward. Kottonmouth Kings got an army full of souljas (chorus) People come and people go , Life is short now don't you know We just want to let the cool winds blow No matter what some people say, We're gonna live our lifes this way We gonna ride and we gonna run the show. People come and people go, Life is short so don't you know We just wanna let the cool winds blow (D-loc) Fuck Dragon Works I knew this one cat that used to be cool When he played himself out now he acts like a fool, fuck Popped to many pills couldn't handle his buisness, D-Dub is now on my motha fuckin shit list You got no respect your a piece of shit Can't even look me in the eyes cause you act like a little kid. You lied to me right in front of my face Your as fake as your company's name in the first place. Livin' in my house, runnin your mouth Disrespectin mines and what I'm about You got to get with this shit actin like a lil bitch what about a hundred grand fool you aint rich I can't believe you left me at gun point Didn't open the door cause your fuckin rude You better handle your beef pussy before your beef handles you Handle your beef pussy before your beef finishes you Fuck that shit, I should've known better You a liein mother fucker with some criminal records There aint nothin you can say plus your not even worthy Pay backs a bitch Dragon Works your dirty (chorus) x2 So let's go (DADDY X) tell ya NOW LIFE IS FUNNY FIRST ITS STORMY THEN ITS SUNNY WHEN YOU THINK YOU KNOW WHATS NEXT A CURve BALL HITS YA LIFES A TEST PEOPLE COME PEOPLE GO LESSONS LEARN ARE LESSONS SHOWN CAUSE IS LIFE IS FAST AND THEN ITS GONE SO HAVE A BLAST MAN WHERE MY BONG (D-LOC) ::::::::::: FUCK DRAGON WORKS ::::::::::: Ahhhh.. as ghetto as they may be.. Kottonmouth Kings forever. Fucking forever. PS. Thanks for turning me onto this CD mike jones

Don't be afraid to care, leave, but don't leave me.

sugarduck — Fri, 13 Oct 2006 04:48:16 GMT

This is the week from Hell. I was going to quit my shitty job because I can't deal with the verbal fucking abuse from my manager... Then my roomate lost his job, so I have the only income right now and I can't quit. Then I find out that my aunt has to get some surgery. Then I find out today at work, that she has a terminal cancer. I saw her tonight and she looked just like my mom on that hospital bed morphined out of her mind. I feel that my aunt is my closest connection to my mother...and now I am going to lose her too. I am a "grown up" now, and all I want is to be held like a baby. lol. I want my mommy back, I want child hood irresponiblity back, I want to know I am taken care of and never feel alone. And right now, I feel like I am fighting with god. I feel like I am fighting with myself. I don't fucking know what I feel right now. I have had half of my moms family, the people that raised me, die in the past 4 years, and I am not ready for this. Yes I am, but I don't want to be. Not to mention I feel like my roomate is financially fucking me up the ass without lube. I wish I could find one person who feels the way I do right now, and give them a hug and tell them I'm sorry, and that I understood. That I truley understood. "And you run and you run to catch up with the sun but it's sinking" I am so glad I have dub side of the moon right now. I can twist half the lyrics to fit my mood right now and that brings me a bit of solace. (BTW thank's for DSOTM gerb) . I don't know what to say right now, or what to write. I just know that I feel so many feelings that it is ovewhelming beyond words.

My cousins wife bought this dress that Brittney spears wore!!

sugarduck — Thu, 28 Sep 2006 02:31:00 GMT

I couldn't stop lauging. Apparently she bought the denim dress about three years ago after Brittney Spears wore it to the awards show with Justin there. I fucking couldn't belive it. I laughed all the way back to Eureka. WHY?! Why would you buy that? I understand that the money was donated to Charity... But it doesn't go with the house and is sooo out of place...and... just plain WHY? lol. I had to share this.

A little bit of xtc..

sugarduck — Tue, 26 Sep 2006 04:45:40 GMT

Hey all I posted some pictures of the party on Saterday. Check em out and tell me what you think

I remember when I lost my mind....

sugarduck — Tue, 19 Sep 2006 22:11:18 GMT

I am going to the tattoo parler today to talk to the artist about drawing me a wicked cool tatoo. I want something like the picture I put with this blog. Except alot more dope. I am going to go to Skinsignea, and then possibly will check out primal. This would be my first tattoo. I called my dad to tell him about it, and he gave me the suprise of a lifetime. He told me that as long as the tat is under likek $500 he will pay for it as a gift. (maybe for being such a bad dad lol). Pretty fucking sweet. That means that I can get better work than I was even thinking. This is really cool of my dad to offer because he was never too keen about the piercings, but he will spring for a permanent tat. Awesome. I have no tats so far, and I am pretty nervous. I really like getting piercings, but.... one sharp needle real fast is not quite the same as a million little needle pricks for like an hour straight. I really wanted to do the actuall work today..but I know that won't happen..So while I'm there I might go over to fourth and sin and get some piercings...Thinking 2 more belly ones, or maybe my boobies. But I don't know about the boobie ones, I heard they are the most painful, and I have small nipples. lol. Like anyone reads my blogs anyway. lol.

I be gettin faded, discombobulated...KMK

sugarduck — Sun, 27 Aug 2006 09:34:30 GMT

I'm sitting here all faded. It's nice, I have tomorrow off, so I can do whateva the fuck I want bitches. :) I got some new glass wear and that is really nice. So tonight while I drank tequilla I finished my fur leg warmers, made a fur skirt, fur bakini, and cut out some fur hand warmer stupid things. Ha, beat that! While I was sewing this shit by hand because my machine doesn't do fur, all I could think was "Good for full moon parties, good for outdoors" because otherwise they are a bit old school. but now I have fucking furry leg warmers, so bitch what? So how do you like the sound of "dude mom productions...brought to you by MC Wack Attack and MC Skittles? oh yeah... I like it.. we could partner up with pickled fart pipe productions and be ok. lol. I got my drivers permit so stay off the road y'all. Driving a car is really scary. lol. So is breaking up. Which is what I just did. he still lives here, he has 30 days to find a place.So the being myself part definatly hasn't kicked in yet,. But I definatly want to "see" a select couple people...And I definatly want to get out of this damn house! I don't know fucking anybody in Eureka and my social life died like 2 or 3 months ago... lol. Yeah, Tosha has a job too now, so we are fucking working all the time. She takes care of old fucked off people, and I work at a fry joint. nice... remind me to register for college in the Spring so I'm not fucking 40 being a fucking waitress. lol. no disrespect, my mom was a waitress until 40, when she decided to be an RN. so we cool, we cool. RESPECT yourself bitches, have a nice day.

Sugar on my tounge

sugarduck — Thu, 24 Aug 2006 08:22:04 GMT

So I had a friend take some pics the other night, no time to do makeup or anything cool, but I got a chance to show off my new homemade leg warmers, and my new fur coat. Check out the new pics and tell me what you think. PLUR ps. I also have a gold grill in some of these pics.. damn straight. gold people.

Can't pay my rent, cause all my money's spent, but thats alright cause I'm still fly

sugarduck — Tue, 15 Aug 2006 19:42:47 GMT

I can really pay my rent though. lol. So I got paid from the new job and I went to the mall to buy pants for work. I ended up going into Wilson's and buying a fur coat. I don't think I have ever spent that amount of money on one article of clothing in my life! Ah well, it is a fucking nice jacket that I will look good in for a lifetime. ha ha. The new place in Eureka is nice, but I miss Arcata alot. I even miss seeing the drugies on the square, kinda. Hoping to show off my new coat tonight at the stip club. We were suposed to go watch the pole olympics last night but Tosh flaked out, and I don't think it was happening anyway last night. The bf is working alot and so I am, we don't have as much time to get sick of eachother anymore. But I still told him that he has 30 days to find a new place, and as much as I would like, I doni't think it will last when he moves. He took some of my tip money and got some beer for himself while I was working. Not ok. Hence the 30 day notice. I talked to a friend that has dealt with alcoholics and numerous rehabs and she told me that I can't do shit to make him quit drinking, he has to want to do it himself. And the best thing I can do ,is to do whats right for myself, and I Sugar, need to be happy.

Get up offa dat thing and dance till you feel better

sugarduck — Sat, 29 Jul 2006 02:19:18 GMT

cars pack the driveway like colorful cardboard boxes much like the ones in what used to be our living room where I took naps at noon as a kid My heart is empty space where the couch used to be. I walk outside and see a blue dumpster for garbage I see the chair legs sticking out of it the one I used to sit in where noni fed me polenta salads with fresh tomatoes and oil and vinigar. I see the lamps that used to be in the spare room, I think of all the compliments they got. As I walk inside I hear the men loading the dumpstrer smash the green glass memories like it was junk, garbage. My body gives in like the glass imploding to green pieces of images that almost bring me to tears hearing the memories break like my heart does at this moment The tears that don't show, sting my eyes as I grab a knife and I go out side and I cut cut the pain away, Cutting at the sungflowers I planted seems like the day before yesterday. Half haven't bloomed yet but I put them in a vase an on the go memory that will brighten my new home, and remember the old. and remember my hopes Life goes in cycles, and when one ends its the toughest but when you break through thats when you have the compass to find your way through the darkest of the redwood trails, and follow your path whatever that new path may entail PS anyone want to take me dancing? :)

I wear my sunglasses at night, so I can, so I can

sugarduck — Sun, 23 Jul 2006 06:21:33 GMT

Memories in the garden flood my mind The purple flower bush my parents got married in front of will be left behind along with barbie doll memory, garden gates, sneeking out to get a first kiss but not a first date and i sit here packing can't believe I can still exist The doctor who read my chart said that I would be one to suffer loss and I console myself with this thought when I think of mom, and I get so angry you left me here with tweeker dad, I think of grampa, you were my hero you taught me endurance, not only on horse but in heart I think of Noni, Itialian old woman of about 5' 3", mouth like a sailor and still she bought me all the love she could afford. But the thing was that I think while I leave this place that this was the place where I waited hours dangling feet off the portch, waiting for my dad, when he said he would pick me up at six, and noni would finally drag me in at 8,9, or 10 if I wouldn't permit telling me that I would get pnomonia. I remember sitting in this exact chair, trying to call my parents and the line was disconected, sucking my thumb in anticipation, of having my parents keep their word. They were spun and beating eachother up instead I remember as a kid telling my mom to leave my dad that if she suffered so much mental abuse she would indeed wind up dead and who really knows if stress causes cancer? I'm a believer. but I still don't have a solid answer I tried to write a poem tonight and my boyfriend tried to stop me I'll snort lines of poetry in his sleep anytime and he won't know the better until he snoops and see's them online

with a trunk of amunition too, I'd end my life with you in a hail of bullets

sugarduck — Mon, 10 Jul 2006 19:02:53 GMT

Should I be ashamed? lol SO, here it is... something I've kept to myself for the last year and a half.. ok... well, heres the story that leads up, ok, so I got kazaa the other day, and I downloaded some of the music I never wanted to be seen buying, or spend money on, and you know what it was? EMO, yes thats right.. lol fucking emo. Yes, AFI, My Chemical Romance, and some weakerthans. I have to say though that "Demolition Lovers" has to be one of he best love songs I have heard in awhile. (Well, the remix by mosdef of "my name like dante" will get one laid alot faster though lol) and there it is folks, my dirty little confession. It's not what u thought it was going to be, huh? Perverts.lol PLUR

Here's a shovel can you dig it? whoop there it is!

sugarduck — Sun, 25 Jun 2006 06:52:41 GMT

This summer is turning out to be very different than summers past. . My friend JH came up to see me for the summer, but all my fears came true, and when he got here, we were definatly not on the same notebook. He came here and just wanted to be all drugged out, and even when he was all sober just acted all drugged out and obnoxious. I tried to tell him that that has all I have been doing this past year and that I wanted to slow down a little. I thought he would get it when instead of coming up to visit too, his girlfriend was sent to a rehab in Arizona. Nope, he even got caught (on Acid) sneeking into his grandparents house by baywood last week and can no longer go with them to Hawaii. Still he isn't slowing down. And it really sucks because now all my girlfriends are like "ah poor jeremy, morgan is so mean to you" because they all want his little nuts and maybe I'm a "threat" or some shit to their nut getting (which Im'm not), and now they are all like "morgan has the vibes we are boycotting anyone who hangs out with her" honestly what the hell is that? Are we 12 again? Don't get me wrong, I love the boy, and he has been my best friend for summers past. We worked on the garden together, he introduced me to good hip hop, I turned him onto hardcore and drumm and bass, we talked about our moms together, they died at about the same time, and I went all the way down to see him in San Diego when I was broke last year.Friends Thru thick and.. well shit seems to be getting thin, and we aren't working out too well, He was one of those false idols that fell months ago. I feel like I just want to scream "Hey jerkwad, I don't want to spend forever fucked up out of my mind ok?! . And yeah, maybe I do want to stay home tonight. Can you relate? Venting is great PLUR

This is worth reading!!!!

sugarduck — Fri, 12 May 2006 19:23:08 GMT

So I have a plan… My family has a couple really nice acres about 25 minutes after Blue Lake, but before Willow Creek and Titlo. This summer my best bud JH is coming from New Mexico with his girl Bunny, and we wanted to throw a Fear and Loathing in the Woods party of sorts. Our plan was to go out there with some close friends for a week or two with a suitcase full of goodies, roughing it sorta. Then at the beginning or the end of this trip, throwing an overnight party on the property. The property is totally private with deck and fire pits and river access with swimming holes that are close. There is room to explore and set up a volley ball net or parking lot, or mass camping spot, or dance areas. In fact there are 3 perspective areas to set up and dance in close proximity of the main deck. There are no neighbors for a couple miles, so the noise factor doesn’t matter. It would be a killer spot to throw a party…it just needs a little straitening up… I can do that though while I’m up there tanning this summer, JH, Bunny, and Tosh will help too. This would be a totally chill and mostly private get together… meaning… we can do whatever the hell we want (PLUR), and it’s private…no cops. I’m wondering if anyone would be interested in this gettogether.. I know a couple guys with generators that owe me and Tosh a favor,but for the most part.. all I have is the location and the ok. If anyone would be interested in making this event happen.. let me know… I have never thrown a part this big before.

"Hey wonderful nice to meet cha, you know that you are a beautiful creature"

sugarduck — Thu, 06 Apr 2006 20:37:01 GMT

I came down sick for the firegarden and didn't want to go. I am somewhat glad I didn't go too. From what I heard from Tosh and from various blogs, it had some Bad Vibe Kids there, and that sucks. I would like to go to the full moon, but it is invite only, and I don't blame Brian at all, after last weekend, I would throw an invite only too! I saw Amy yesterday I think, and she said that she had alot of fun at firegarden, tosha said she had alot of fun at firegarden after she saw Amy.lol. This week has been pretty good. I have been catching up with different make up work, and getting my shit inline... somewhat. Been hanging out with ADM alot, he moved in to the next room, and is paying rent. It is super wierd. He called me "roomie" last night, and I almost puked. lol. I haven't gotten to hang out with anyone for like 3 or 4 weeks, because I have been hanging out with ADM. I think Tosha will kill me soon if I don't start leaving the house. I think I will kill me if I don't start leaving the house (without ADM). I'm trying to get out and danceing this weekend, and I invited someone to dinner today, so we will see how it goes... If nothing else, I'll be leaving to either NY or Sacremento for a week this month, and that will be a nice break.