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'Gay travel': Why gay men so obsessed with being separate/different?

Except from a discussion on another site: Dudesnude Travel ForuM

Ash (from Toronto) started off with the topic:

Am I the only one who travels here without having to put "gay itineraries" in my agenda whenever I travel?
I find that a lot of gay guys have this need of searching for places that are gay-friendly, and that really strikes to me as saying "can I cruise for sex here?"

I may be wrong, but chances are I am right about this.
When I travel I focus on the sightseeings, cool things to see, street festivals, kickass pubs and comfy lounges, and such...doesn't matter to me whether it is gay friendly or not.
I mean, yes it would be great to meet other gay guys during my trip, but I just find it that guys are limiting themselves of 'where to go' for a vacation when they're focusing on gay-friendly-accepting-areas.
Sorry if I have offended anyone, but I'm just wondering?


Response from Sunbuns (me) to Ash's question:

Let me assure you that I am NOT arguing your point.
Just commenting and adding my own opinion.

It is a curious thing. I believe that in the future (hopefully not so long a time to come) that most gays won't be in a position and in the state of mind that limits them to choosing only a 'gay' destination. But -- at that point in time -- there won't be a need for sites such as this one either.

It's a matter of perspective and purpose.

You're on the gay channel -- remember. I am very sure that if you went to a general travel forum -- such as TravBuddies, etc, and similar sites, IF you could ask the members and get an honest answer (from some of those who post travel blogs, photos, review, etc), about who is gay, you'd find a lot are. I am positive you would get a larger than 'average' percentage of members. They are on that site because they want to learn about and talk about travel. Their purpose is not anything else - while people join and visit Dudesnude mainly for other reasons - than to talk about travel.

This site is called 'Dudesnude' for a reason. The population is heavily weighted to guys who are horny, seeking some kind of gratification (not only sexual), and / or who like looking at (or talking/chatting) with similar guys.

The fact that there are plenty (still a minority) who are here for other reasons or who aren't always looking for sex / hook-ups shouldn't allow you to draw major conclusions about all 'gay' people or gay travelers.

Another thing is your age.

You seem to be of the latter generation (younger) - one that has (possibly) grown up without the layers upon layers of prejudice (still existing to a large degree) and discrimination (exists far, far less than 20-30 years ago) when the 40+ generation was going through late adolescence and young adulthood. Note please; I did not say that your generation has never experienced those things but it's a matter of degree. (We older folks always think things were tougher back in our 'days'. *lol* - so allow me that delusion (although I do believe there is enough truth in the idea. )

It was a different time even 20 years ago - at the time just before the first big AIDS epidemic -- and what seems normal behavior for young gay men nowadays was hardly tolerated at all -- except in some special 'gay' places. Some gay men today tend to think that way. Just one theory.

Another reason may be the way you can express yourself (in your home community) and also what you want out of a vacation may be very different -- sometimes quite extremely so. Coming from liberalized, enlightened Canada, especially a very cosmopolitan place such as Toronto (I think that where you're from) - you probably don't feel the need to go off for a vacation -- just to be your 'gay' self - it is something you can do happily right in your own community - without free of reprisal or even physical danger.

But even today in small town rural America - in Kentucky for example (where I lived most of my adolescence) seeing guys hold hands (or God forbid - kiss) is still an absolute social no-no. There are no gay bars except for a hour or 2 hour drive away and Pride is considered to be one of the 7 deadly sins -- not a summer event for the gay crowd. Gay people still don't have much of a face on the local state college campus even now -- nearly 25 years since my friends and I started the first GLBT Association on that campus.

Your purpose for travel may include things that some people can't (or don't want) to be involved with. Travel seems to be a very highly personalized activity - especially how one perceives of the 'travel' experience and its meaning.

A vacation is not the same time as travel -- although travel can also be a vacation is (usually) much more -- especially for people like you and me.

Perhaps some just see the trip (or vacation) as an extended long stay version of 'the one-night stand," whereas you (or me) might see if as something more or different or maybe not. They don't necessarily see their trip (not matter how well planned and expensive) as a real travel experience - but simply as 'vacating' their normal premises (changing spaces -- not 'exchanging' places (becoming someone new by experiencing a new cultural perspective in an unknown place in the word).

For me it is often a time of reflection, self-discovery, having new experiences or cultural lessons, and even spiritual development. But it can also be about sex and physical gratification (pleasure/desire), too. Some people may see it as a combination of all of these.

Perhaps too you're happy with your sexuality and satisfied with your romantic and sexual relationships. So you are looking for that desperately -- like some men are. For many people, the urge to find a 'mate' forms a major part of the agenda for a vacation. So the idea of choosing a 'gay' resort / gay-friendly area increases the chances of consummating that desire.

I agree totally. There are so many wonderful places in the world worth visiting - -why limit yourself by going ONLY to gay 'resorts'. However, it is also true that more and more of these great vacation spots are actively trying to 'recruit' new tourists who are gay and are actively selling themselves as 'gay-friendly' destinations. The average income of gays (in general) is fairly high - so it has become a segment of the population that is often courted by the travel industry.
Sat, September 6, 2014 - 10:56 PM — permalink - 1 comments - add a comment

Semi-flashing: showing dick to a guy whom I pass every morning

I know .. I know.. it's not much -- [I'm not referring to my dick] but my small accomplishment. I am probably not a full-fledged flasher / exhibitionist -- at least not yet. So those men who have jerked off for and flashed strangers on the street have my admiration, but I cannot yet imitate. Although I have been experimenting with showing some cock using see-thru clothes and open zippers, I've never been able to expose a full limp or erect cock.

I don't really count 'innocent exposure" in the locker room, or a the beach (nude or not) to be hard-core exhibitionist. I mean - -if nudity is expected and even accepted, it could not really be true exhibitionism. However, yesterday was a bit different for me and a first for me.

After months of walking the dog in the early morning with a partly open zipper (or in warmer weather in see-thru shorts/pants), I have had my eyes -- targeting my flash.. so to speak..- for a guy who rides his bicycle on his way to work every morning on my dog-walk route through the cemetery nearby. Over a couple of times in the past months, I've 'surprised' him over a couple of times with me showing in some mesh shorts, then almost see-thru athletic pants, but yesterday, I had my zipper down enough to evidently attract his gaze. I've seen him take a glance quite a few times, but he's very good at appearing to (or actually) ignoring me.

Yesterday, it seemed to me that I caught his gaze looking directly at my crotch.. I knew my efforts had finally succeeded.
I had seen him coming and happily this time.. he was completely alone and just crossing busy street right in the center of the cemetery -- so he was distracted enough to not be ready when I approached with the dog. I like taking my dog along -- not only because the dog needs and enjoys it, but it gives the 'voyeur' victim something to pretend to look at. They can short of glance ahead and down -- -pretending to look a the dog -- but all the while inspecting my crotch. So that is what I think happened yesterday morning.

I could see him at least 150 ft before he reached me--so I had time to adjust my crotch for optimal (NOT maximum) exposure. I don't want him to take a new route or to call the police or get totally screwed up. It would only appear to him that I had forgotten to properly shut zip my pants up -- it was NOT a blatant floppy or erect cock staring him in the face. Instead it was an rather innocent and seemingly accidental exposure of part of my flaccid penis.
But -- maybe we'll get there if he keeps showing some interest (or at least a distant fascination).

The guy intrigues me because he wears exactly the same clothes every single day I have every seen him. It means that this is his 'uniform' or that he probably just wears them for such a short trip -- to bicycle to his work -- where he changes to his real work clothes -- a uniform. I imagine that he works at the local small airport, but I'm not quite the stalker that will follow him -- although I guess my targeting him so many times until I finally found a time to get more real exposure -- is something close to stalking. I am trying to entice him to look at my cock, but not shock or disgust him.

Has anybody been involved with semi-flashing like this? Maybe this is just one stage along toward something more daring and more exhibitionistic?

The photo shows what the pants should have looked like to my semi-flash target.
I was beginning to think I was the only person at this level of flashing -- not quite a newbie but no completely hanging out with a full hard-on for complete strangers. I guess for me -- it's the other guy's squelched feelings of attraction that really intrigue me. It turns me on to think that I am turning him on to his inner wishes - but again I could be totally wrong about my targeted guy. In your case, brettmarried (another user here), you seem to know positively that he is not only noticed but seemed to have a very strong interest in what he was seeing. For my guy, I can't really be sure.. he's rarely even turned his head back (actually there have only been a few times I've managed to "tease" him.

Maybe the challenge of it is kind of fun too.
I have also tried semi-see-through or mesh pants and shorts and have had a quick glance up and down reaction from him. But the incidents are spaced out weeks or even months apart.

Many times the private roadway through the park-like cemetery that he uses (and where I walk my dog) has other people riding and/or walking by. Also this IS a neighborhood where people would and could find me if I were to flash strangers. I can't try the "oops, I forgot to zip up" tactic too often or he'll get wise. I've thought next of taking a piss just off the main lane partly behind some trees and to carefully time it so that he has the chance to come up on his bike and sort of catch me with my cock out and pissing -- with a full view of my cock. Doing it that way still boarders on 'accidental' flashing.

Hey, are there any more guys here who are semi-flashing like this? I realize some of you guys are much braver and far beyond this sort of level of flashing. But there may be more like me and brett.. any similar experiences?
Sat, September 6, 2014 - 6:32 PM — permalink - 3 comments - add a comment

The urge to expose - the freeballer's dilemma

See-thru freeballing - Perv'd or Fashion Passion?

Having spent the hottest part of the summer in the US mainland, I wasn't prepared for the excruciatingly torrid temps and scorching sun when I returned to Japan - and that was after it had 'cooled off'. Actually, the heat isn't the problem -- it's the humidity that makes it too muggy to wear underwear during the summers in Tokyo.

Weather and climate aside, I find that once I've been out the country, I get the urge to exhibit myself rather unobtrusively- sort of strut my stuff - so to speak by freeballing in mesh shorts, torn jeans, very tight and /or translucent board shorts, and even 'jinbei' ( a short summer casual men's kimono-like mesh garment). I mentioned this before on this board - but the urge overcomes my good sense sometimes. So until

the fall rains and cooler weather rolls in, I tend to be about half naked whenever I'm outside (not at work obviously), and then I also spend many lazy late summer-like afternoons being naked outdoors - discretely sunbathing nude at the local river (a wide recreation area long both sides of a shallow but wide river in Tokyo). The area is frequented by cyclists, families and people walking their pets, but it seems I'm just far enough out of sight to be cause for alarm or simply believe cannot even imagine what they eyes would or should otherwise report: there a naked white guy over there.

It's probably worth exploring the WHY of why I do this. But I think it has a great deal to do with three things: 1) it's an ultimate statement of freedom. Being an American who is living in a socialistic nation where individual wishes, rights and personal ambitions are so repressed by the strict edicts of Japanese social fabric means that I absolutely am constantly starved for personal liberty. 2) I am an extreme racial minority in this country. I don't just stick out like a sore thumb; I AM the SORE THUMB, penis, ass, and every other part of the body. (Sorry too much to explain in a blog post), and finally 3) I am gay living as supressed and hidden life, pretending to be a completely straight, and upstanding non-citizen but one who has loved being close to nature - especially being naked in the sunshine, wind and sea - since he was a child.

You can see a photo of the location where I go nude or semi-nude sunbathing on my

Typepad blog (below). The mesh shorts not ones I would wear on the street, (well, at least not in Japan - although I have done so at night in Hawaii), but my other 'see-thru' freeballing shorts are also pretty revealing). By the way, those are people in the background to the left of and below my elbow.

Someday I'm going to ask someone to take a photo of me from over there so that I can get a sense of what people could actually see. Of course, I have other photos that show nudity, but that's just TOO ludicrous to be exposing myself to you all on the site (Tongue-in-cheeks - (mouth, not my sunkissed butt, Ha Ha!)

I guess I have to be honest to stay that my cock swells a bit when I think (or know) that another guy is watching or even just glancing at my crotch. My 'former' target for such 'sightings' was a 25-ish blue collar worker who passed by me many mornings on the way to his work. Perhaps because of the economy, he no longer does. So I've taken a different tact and am now wearing an assortment of the above clothes to see which one draws more attention (i.e. straying eyes that shoot straight to my crotch), and also to see who seems to actually notice or who can't help himself from 'repeatedly' noticing. So far there aren't many onlookers; however, one guy seems to have realized that he's

likely going to be tempted to look and he obviously thinks that's embarrassing. So if I see him coming now on his bicycle, I find that he manages to look the other way or to feign fidgeting with something in his basket (no, the one on the front of his bicycle) Smirk!

Pervert, am I. Probably, yes. But it's fun trying to mildly shock the Japanese men. I actually pay little attention to whether the women give me a glance or not.

So.. why is it that men are so 'visually' stimulated? I'm sure there is an evolutionary and also psycho-sexual explanation. But what the hell, it's fun being 'mean' (and Kermit used to say - Oh, that was 'green'). Well, it was probably Cookie Monster who thought that, anyway.


Fri, September 5, 2014 - 11:15 PM — permalink - 0 comments - add a comment

Spanking is turn-on for many guys who don't realize it's part of the CMNM scene

Spanking is an erotic activity - not only as sexual gratification - but for the part it plays in discipline (father-son, coach - athlete, officer-soldier), in individual and group man-to-man communication, in a dominant/submissive relationship, being subjected to a older male's authority, as a form of male bonding (frats, sports team, hazing / initiation for male groups) are situations I find increasingly erotically stimulating.

For me, it combines several important gay male themes into one activity: older-younger, CMNM(clothed male / naked male), submission / dominance, but without being focused on simply causing pain. While spanking can be pain-causing, it is normally not ever serious or permanently damaging. So it doesn't go as far as being real bondage or BDSM, which is scary for some guys. It also can be a social or group event, occurring outside and in public, so it, therefore, has elements of exhibitionism and voyeurism, which also make it appealing.Spanking is turn-on for many guys - who don't realize it's part of the CMNM scene. There are no pictures on the site linked below, but there are lot of stories and also the chance for you to submit some stories of your own. There is also a new Male Spanking Forum so you can get in touch with other guys who are into it, too.

Whether you are looking for stories about over-the-knee spankings for naughty boys, the sting of the slipper on a deserving bare bottom, family discipline with paddle and belt, kids and teens playing fun CP forfeit games, the cane or birch administered strictly at school, college hazing, adult BDSM relationships, the whip and strap wielded mercilessly in military punishments or judicial discipline, poetry, magical or historical tales, or unusual CP implements such as a machine, martinet or sjambok, these search links will allow you to specify and find exactly what you want to read about!

[Experts above directly from the MMSA site]
Welcome to the New MMSA!

This is the new home of the Male-Male Spanking Archive. The reasons for this new URL and the history of this archive are explained in the MMSA FAQ page, linked above. There you will find policy statements from the site owners on the existing archive content we inherited and on new submissions to it.

New to this site, however, is a moderated forum, also linked above, where authors and readers can mingle and have fun discussing the stories, writing generally, CP related issues (other than the pros and cons of real life corporal punishment of children) and give feedback on the archive itself. Please join in there!

---------- The above photos were forwarded in a group message ----------
From: Rom on the [CMNM] Google group.

It seems that the guy doing the spanking is getting more of a kick of out doing the the deed than the guy is who is receiving the blows. His erection is about to pop out of his boxers. We'll have a bit of spanking at this weekend's CMNM events.

For more options, visit this group at

Here are a few links I have found for sites that include photos or stories of male-male spanking:

Forwarded by Rom, a member of the Google group: CMNM

Spanking has many inter-relationship, social and psychological implications, but I wonder how many guys have craved to be the spanker or the spankee? What are you experiences being spanked (or giving them) for discipline or for initiation (ritualistic) or for sexual pleasure? Do you think there is a connection between being the naked guy and being the one spanked. It's probably logical..but I for one, want to be the naked guys who spanking the clothed men (boys) who have misbehaved or who have not lived up to my expectations (grin).
Thu, September 4, 2014 - 7:19 PM — permalink - 0 comments - add a comment

Places to get naked in Europe (gay nude travel) Part 3

Simple and slow to frenetic - all kinds of nude vacation experiencesThere is more than one way to enjoy being nude

A. Europe (Spain, Austria,etc):

There are many places all over Europe where gays can have a relaxing, healthy (play safely) and also culturally enriching clothing optional - nude vacation. In Spain, Sitges (near Barcelona,the city itself well worth a visit) has a wonderful gay nude beach. For a sex holiday (sex on the nude). I prefer Playa del Igles / Maspalomas on Gran Canaria, (Spain's Canary Islands off the coast of Morocco). which I have just written a lot about in a recent post below. You can find nude beaches in Italy, Croatia, Czech Republic too.

I particularly like the Austrian 'baden' style public spas (baths). You soak in the hot tubs and saunas and then go up and sun on the roof tops. I especially liked the one in Linz, Austria on the banks of the Danube River. Vienna also has a nudist (although I never found the 'gay' section) on Donau Island recreation area - easily reached by train. The South of France - such as Cap d'Agde (nudist city) but I have not actually been there to recommend if it is 'gay' enough.The Netherlands and Belgium have nudist and gay beaches (short distance from major cities). Berlin and Munich (mentioned above) have nudist areas in the major city parks -which can be cruisy (and stimulating - particularly to a closet (or overt) exhibitionist - like me. (see pic at above right of Munich's Englischergarten. It is a mixed clothing optional park - right in the heart of the city. You can find clothed people in one section and the nude people stay on the other side of a central path - some areas are definitely more male-oriented. ).

B. Budapest,Hungary:

I want to visit Budapest again and go to the outdoor nudist pool, Palatinus, on Margaret Island (or Margit Island, MargitSziget). The island is also home to a great park and hosts many events such as those listed below.

The Turkish and Hungarian baths (hamman) all over the city are great places to be naked with lots of local men. For thermal bath etiquette and information on the various public baths, outdoor pools, steambaths or saunas (hamman ) see this link:

Palatinus Strand

Gay Pride Budapest: Held yearly.

August 8-15: Sziget Festival The Sziget Festival ('island') is not a gay event, but one of its venue, the Magic Mirror tent, is officially billed as the GLBT place.

Official Tourist site of Budapest Site

C. Europeans (and North Americans) can also enjoy great nude destinations in the US and Canada.

Don't give up on visiting the US too for a great summer time nudist experience. There are sometimes good deals on flight to JFK (NY) or Boston from Scotland or London or Dublin.For example, Provincetown (fly to Boston or train up from New York) and take a 90 min ferry over to P-town - great little gay resort with a wonderful nude and gay beach 15 min. walk from town. While not ' an officially recognized nude beach (meaning it IS against the law ( federal or state regulations may prohibit), there are long standing traditions of getting naked at the most famous and visited nude beaches in the US. However, it is not a 'right' to get naked, as might be the case in Europe - unfortunately, so you should be aware that park rangers and local police sometimes patrol. Remember, there is safety in numbers.
Sun, August 31, 2014 - 9:03 PM — permalink - 0 comments - add a comment

Playing in Playa del Ingles: Gay Gran Canaria

I have been five times before and am hoping to go again to the island of Gran Canaria in the Canary Islands off the coast of Morocco in March of next year. I have written about it before, but the topic came up again on one of the gay travel-related discussion boards (actually Dudesnude dot com).

Gran Canaria is a fairly nice gay travel destination - there are excellent points but also some negative aspects.

This entry is mainly about the sex clubs and the dunes.
In the Yumbo Centre (the largest shopping and commercial complex in Playa del Ingles on the southern and resort/beach side of the island, there are a couple (or more) sex club or backroom bars on the ground (basement floor) - they don't even open to 10 or later. You check your clothes at the door and there is not a dry (cum free) body by the end of the night (4 am?)

However, I have heard that the Yumbo Centre is going to be renovated sometime this year. Someone on this site told me many months ago so I'll have to look him up since he was due to travel there in Nov/Dec.
It may be closed when you (or I) want to go there.

The above bars/clube should not be confused with Basement Studios which is a gay hotel just across from the Yumbo that requires a dress code for staying guests (different 'costumes' each day - all nude, jeans, leather etc,) and the rooms are all opened at certain time for those willing guests to freely roam about and suck/fuck like rabbits (I think that you can also pay to enter as as temporary visitor to enjoy the sex fun). See the site for details. I choose to stay somewhere cheaper (see for ideas). I'd be exhausted in no time fromdiving in the morning, sex in the dunes in the afternoon and wide abandon both all evening and all night (LOL).

Of course, the dunes will NOT be undergoing renovation - except just what nature provides (wind/sun/blowing sand) andwith nature taking its course (so to speak) - it's very cruisy - almost non-stop in the dunes. It is truly a nudist paradise - but it depends on what (and who) you expect to see walking the streets of heaven.

You should realize that - at least during the winter - Gran Canaria is the temporary home for thousands of retiree couples and also gay couples of all ages (who just want to get away from the snowy colder Northern European climes. There is a lot of camaraderie but typically couples are just hanging out and meeting their 'old' friends whom they met over several wintertime visits to Playa del Ingles / Maspalomas.

Nevertheless, there are hundreds of male (and sometimes female) nudists out sunning and also cruising the famous Maspalomas Dunes from morning to sunset. However, beggars can't be choosers - I'd have to say that the average age is at least 45 (probably older - more like 55 some days) but .. what the hey... who am I to turn done the advances of some middle-aged hottie. I am well into middle age myself. The clubs are different they attract a more virile and younger clientele.

The Canaries are NOT only about wild sex.. there is historical, cultural and natural environment that has a lot to offer - in fact, I go there as much for the diving and hiking and marine sports as for the gayness of its this varied resort attractions - it IS part of Spain after all.

I heard immediately (private message) from the DN member whon I spoke of in the post above. Good news - at least for those traveling to GC this winter/spring. He was there in Dec and has visited it many, many times.

"Hi, this is the guy that told you about The Yummbo Centre getting renovated. The Good news is that it is but won't be shutting down because of it. Nothing is going to get going till later on this year, so its free to party party party just like before."
I've never been to it The Basement Complex - but here is the web site:

I might be in Playa del Ingles from the second or third week of March, so I'll check it out (provided the weather outdoors turns cloudy for an afternoon).

For some reason (not really strange), St. Patrick's Day is a pretty big affair in Playa del Ingles (Gran Canaria) -- probably because there are so many expats or visitors from Ireland (or with Irish origin).

A word of advice from HardfXXX, another discussion participant:

I didn't mention that I was actually in The Basement. They are open to Visitors everyday but they have a very strict dress code of Nude, leather etc...they don't allow guys to wear speedos or boardies, goes on everywhere. It up to you if you want to rubber up. I was guys been Barebacked by numerous guys. I saw fisting session piss sessions you name, it all goes on. you really need to have an open mind going in. I wasn't shocked but have to say, it is sex 24/7 so if you stayed there, i reckon you would need another holiday when you leave. The Basement is a great place Guys go go go...They also have a sex party of a wednesday afternoon til late into the night.. thats a fucking horny one I tell you...Happy Holidays...

What seemed to be all too common (at least at gay sex clubs/backroom bars) on Gran Canaria (specifically at Yumbo) was the LACK of free condoms (or purchaseable ones).

So... take you own supply if you want to ensure 'playing safe' - evidently, Playa del Igles is a little too hedonistic or the word (or epidemic) has not reached the upper climes of Europe - most visitors there in March (I've been on or around St. Patrick's Day three different times) seemed to be just a bit too oblivious to the need to safe sex - strange since they come from such enlighted countries (Germany, Austria, Holland, Scandanavia, France, the UK and Ireland etc) The dunes of Maspalomas are somewhat a different 'territory' - everybody has to BYOE (bring you own everything) and guys are more likely to cruise between picnique 'lunches' than to be drinking heavily as they do on the bars. Less alcohol = safer sex practices.

Reply from HardXXX:

As for the condoms guys, its always a good idea to bring your own supply. Guys go around all the bars once or twice a week giving out free condoms and Lube to the bars for their customers. Unfortunately, some of the greedy guys get them all and leave none for others. Also, not sure if any of you are familiar with the kite symbol? its a little symbol on the back of Condoms saying that they have passed british standards, the condoms in GC don't carry this. Also, I have a fairly large cock and I find the condoms over there are too tight, they stop the blood flow and so I lose my hard-on. I bring durex easy roll. They are great for getting on in the

Sat, August 30, 2014 - 10:04 PM — permalink - 0 comments - add a comment

Hostel Hotness (from discussions on Dudesnude, DickFlash & JUB)

The following post was compiled from entries on the discussion boards of several gay sites on the topic of hostels.

Posted by: Elegantism (member id) started off the discussion on hostel hotness like this:
Traveling through Europe, [ I stayed in hostels sometimes] 8 guys to a room. I always thought something hot would go down.
I remember this one time in Italy where the room was tiny and there were 6 guys in it. All ended up sleeping naked on top of the sheets, sweating and boning all night long.
Any more exciting stories?


Follow up: beachpuppy
I was staying in a hostel in Verona, Italy, in a beautiful converted villa. Some of the showers were communal, shower heads from a common pillar. When you took showers, it meant you were standing around the same pillar, sort of face to face. Got hooked up there taking showers together...

Follow up: nakedparis
It happened to me in Budapest; the hostel was an university residence and showers were in a big room; there were little walls between showers but no curtains, so it was easy to peer the guys in the fron shower's line or drying after the shower.
In Stockholm too, I found two hostels with showers not very private; there were curtains, but the undressing room was common, so before and after the shower, we could peer each other.

My response:

It's great to find others who are equally attracted to CMNM (clothed male / naked male) experiences at hostels. Sex is sometimes overrated and that's not just sour grapes because I

can and do get a lot of it. But I find the male bonding / friendship/ buddy camaraderie / 'skinship' aspect of relationships with other men (not just sex) can be so much more easily experienced in an environment like a hostel and I find myself craving such experiences because I feel so isolated from knowing men fully. Sure I can fuck around with guys, but it find it hard to make friends or just be buddies with guys without sex at the same time releasing our typically mutual inhibitions toward deeper male friendships.

I have had some great times and also some highly homoerotic stays at several hostels... particularly at one hostel (presently unnamed) - which I have described here on a previous thread posting (now disappeared). I've written about these hostels and sought and given advice about travelling using hostels and the male bonding / male nudity that can happen here and on my blogs.
nakedparis (above) has a great idea but I think we need another site/venue to share these since DN is so limited and the posts eventually scroll up and disappear. Also, there is the issue of privacy - when we start actually naming places and giving out address, then it may get back to the hostel owners (indirectly) that their establishments is targeted by gays/bi-guys seeking sex in their hostels. Some of the hottest places to stay are not always to gay-friendly or diversity oriented.

In the meantime, I want to hear more from elegantism about his experiences...
Hey, don't any of you guys blog? One cool idea is to create a Group Blog (using Blogger and Flickr) with multiple account holders (blog members). It's easy to set up (I can do that) and then you can either post entries by going to the Blogger (there can be many blog members or you can blog an entry by sending an email (even with an attached photo).

What do you say? Anybody want to try that... the discussion can still go on here but a 'good / useful' entry could also easily be blogged too. It doesn't mean to have to share id or have common passwords either.


A few days later...... I added:

I created the CMNM blog and I can add you as a co-author.
Actually, you don't have to actually join blogger to do so - because even without being an (approved) blog author - it is now set up to allow posts to be sent by e-mail. That address is written in the first (trial) post at:

The problem is how to handle explicit sexual photographs (I discuss in that post). Not having any solves that dilemma-- but there is still the matter of what constitutes 'sensual / sexy vs erotic or artistic nude vs blatant sexual behavior or obscenity as defined by the courts.

It won't be an issue-- of course -- if nobody ever posts or even reads it.
Look at it first and then tell me what you think about 'managing' the off-site blog..... Guys Into CMNM

So now it is off and running more to follow later.....
Kelly (sunbuns99)
Sat, August 30, 2014 - 8:29 PM — permalink - 0 comments - add a comment

Innocent Exhibitionism -- cross-cultural male camarderie in Japan

See the full set of images accompanying this article at:

While living in Japan, I found it kind of amazing that the otherwise polite and docile Japanese could be so rowdy and get so raunchy in the right circumstances. Most of these centered around group events where drinking was involved. I guess it happens everywhere with young people -- like any college parties and fraternities, etc. But still is a bit of a paradox when the seemingly shy Japanese get plastered (or maybe that's just an excuse or front) and start stripping and performing what Puritanical Americans would think of as "lewd" acts.

While Japanese are modest about nudity in general, there are times when you can catch avglimpse of guys showing pubic hair or asses -- and sometimes a cock. I used to go cycling along some of the rivers around Tokyo. The city uses the flood banks for public sports fields or you can also see similar activities in public parks too. When stopping for a break, I could often get glimpses of guys changing clothes in broad daylight - I mean - from street clothes -- stripping down to nothing or fleeting glimpse of ass and cock, and change into their team uniform or sports clothes right there in front of everyone -- especially when they were surrounded by the hunky teammates. Teams of intramural sports -- soccer, rugby, American football, baseball play on these fields usually during the weekends and holidays. Invariably, because there are no dressing rooms, the guys have to strip and change out of and back into their street clothes.This kind of CMNM scene has always been a turn-on -- it is like seeing one naked guys in a locker room full of clothed athletes, but it is out in public -- an open field.

It's kind of cool to see this kind of "innocent" exhibitionism among team members. But there is another type of flashing among Japanese men that seems to happen a lot but is not really so innocent -- maybe not really sexual or sensual -- but more like playful machismo, I guess, but it is still a turn on.

I never got invited to participate to such a degree but I have been in the room -- usually at a overnight retreat at an inn or hot springs resort where similar male stripping occurs. Without fail, some of the guys get (supposedly) too drunk to stop themselves, and end up pulling all kinds of stunts. They seem to start out as party games and end up with somebody getting undressed -- sort of voluntary (or sometimes forced) flashing for the rest of the group.

I never got any photos -- but I found these photos on the net by a group of Japanese college students . They seem pretty typical for the kind of drunken playfulness that leads to somebody getting pantsed or just flashing the group. used a Japanese language search engine and found these.

Japanese sometimes call this "skinship"

What is so cool about it? Has anybody else experienced this kind of male-male "bonding" rituals between straight guys or in mixed gender groups -- in North America, Asia, or Europe? I don't have a fetish about it , but think it is kind of cool. While these guys are sort of playing around with "sexy" homoerotic behaviors -- maybe even identifying a bit with the homoerotic nature of what they doing. it seems to me a kind of healthy way to de-sexualize nudity between men. Yes, there are some women at the party too -- although none of them usually get nude or show much if anything at all.

Share any thoughts or photos you have in the subject on this topic....

Sat, August 30, 2014 - 6:09 PM — permalink - 0 comments - add a comment

Is a joint JUB / Dudesnude / Manhunt Gathering possible?

Is a joint JustUsBoys (JUB) / Dudesnude / Manhunt Gathering or Summer Party possible?
Why? How? Where? When? This is an article for ideas for getting it started.

It seems that JUB ( members are hosting small gatherings across the US. Is anyone here actually participating in those -- attending and/or planning? I wonder if another large online virtual community like or could do the same? Would there be any benefit of trying to hold a joint party/gathering?

That brings up the idea of a "joint" cross-group event - -but after all isn't that what PRIDE events or the annual street fairs are all about (such as Southern Decadence).

I am not nixing the idea of a Dudesnude party or convention or other event. I am just making some suggestions so it might actually happen. For example, we could hook-up with an existing event and thus attract more JustUsBoys or Dudesnude members to attend. I am also explaining what I think is needed to be decided in order to get one organized.

At least, we could start by having local JUB or Dudesnudes members sponsor one event at a major Gay Pride / Gay Carnival event (on their continent or region).

As I thought (and wrote) more about it the idea of a Dudesnude-JUB Gathering seems more possible and more fun -- so I have started making real suggestions (at least on I have approached the idea to anyone here -- except through this blog entry.

The realities of actually organizing 'party' / 'convention' - 'round-up' or whatever it is called are daunting if you try to actually get many DN members to attend.
Instead, there may be some wisdom in starting on a smaller scale. It does takes a spark -- a somebody(ies) who will take the initiative to set a place/time, have a clear purpose/events/activities, make contacts and coordinate communication.

I seems to be a bit difficult to come up with a 'purpose' for a DN party -- if it a sex party/orgy then we'd better call

it that. If it's a social gathering or an organizational meeting then we'd need to get that clear. If it a DN sponsored event that is part of another major gay (men's) event or an event or series of events organized for DN (on its own) that's great but we need something to focus on: a parade float, BBQ, camp-out, beach party, ice-cream social, apres-ski party, pot-luck supper (in the nude) etc) then that would work.

If is going to have multiple purposes then that's got to be decided or at least sorted out, but it seems that we're not likely to come up with ONE general purpose because of the diversity of men, locations, ages, and interests.

Still, if somebody got one party/convention organized, once it has been started and successfully held, it would be model on how to proceed with others (or how to improve upon the idea).
Also, why not have them rotate from venue to venue and occur several times a year?-- instead of trying to have simultaneous 'parties/conventions'.

So ... I'll help organize one in JUB-DudesNude-Manhunt Gathering for Summer 2014 / Fall 2014 / Winter 2014-15 (US (several locations), or Europe would be possible.

The First Honolulu JUB-DN Gathering is easy - I think it should be on January 1st at Diamond Head Beach from 12:00 noon - until about 5pm. If enough guys are interested, then we could set up a BBQ picnic in nearby Kapiolani Park (but the Jubbing around (talk, chatting, playing game and Dudenuding could go on at the (unofficial gay/nude beach under the Light House on Diamond Head Beach. )

Stay tuned below for more info and an Evite (electronic invitation).

Palm Springs Dec 22-24 -- we could stay where we like but gather at one site (Inn Exile, CCBC, or wherever) for the main party/event(s).
Sometime in February 21-March 9 Big Island (nude gay beach party on the Puna shore, accommodation could be at Kalani resort - from camping to bungalows to hotel-class rooms )

Playa del Ingles / Maspalomas (Gran Canaria, Spain) Carnival 2nd to 12th March, 2015
or later March 19-28, 2015.

There are cheap flights from London, Germany, Amsterdam, Madrid. We could organize shared accommodations at both gay and vacation condo/hotels and have a huge blast on the largest gay beaches in the world during the day (all in the nude) and then split up into small dance/bar-hopping by interest groups at the many clubs in the Yumbo Center in the evenings.

Tampa or South Florida, March 16-19, 2015

I could attend one in Europe (and maybe help out with one) in London, Paris, Amsterdam, Budapest) in March -- if the Gran Canaria does not work out.


TRYING OUT EVITE as a way to help organize (and/or just poll the members about enough interest to pursue the idea, and to actually start planning a location/time.

If you guys will indulge me, I have created an Evite to test its ability to actually find out WHO would attend a JUB/Dudesnude party or Gathering.

If you can or can't, I need a few JUB/DN members to try out the Evite link below:

Since it is may be a BROKEN URL link (yes, I understand very well why it may be), then you can piece together the parts of the URL and send me a reply at the EVITE site. Or you can send me e-mail and I will send you an Evite directly. It includes some of the features -- liking polling, brining things, that future JUB and/or DudesNude or Joint JUB-DN gathering hosts might need to know and info they'd need to be able to do collect.
So I'll someone who reads this will try it out -- even if you can't really attend that event on Jan. 1st in Honolulu.

Since I don't know the everyone's e-mails (nor would I send it to EVERYONE even if I did), but I do need a couple of people to try to see if Eventbrite works.

One major stumbling block to actually organizing an DudesNude / JustUsBoys / Manhunt event or party is the fact this is not a email LIST or group (Yahoo or MSN, etc). So there is no way to send everyone a message (apart from site host / web admin) - and they should NOT have to organize events AND run / host this site too.

So here's the link and hope you can make it (or at least try to send a RSVP or decline the invitation).
It will give me (and maybe someone in a different location) a resource for helping to organize a JUB/ DN event (if it works).

Sunbuns99 (Kelly)

Or you could just write me e-mail here and I'll send you an electronic (email) invitation.

Tue, August 26, 2014 - 11:45 PM — permalink - 0 comments - add a comment

Hospital Tintillation - Trying to flash the doctor

I was staying in hospital for a condition that has also occurred before. I ended up on the same ward of the same hospital where I stayed before. Two of the attending doctor's are the same, but one is new .. young, tall, and he has a deep voice and sexy hands. It gives me a thrill when he stops by to examine me on his am/pm rounds. There really is nothing to suspect he'd be interested in one of his patients sexually. But that hasn't stopped me from fantasizing and also trying to flash him from my hospital bed. There is something horny about being physically examined daily by men in white coats! LOL especially when the nature of the illness is rather mild -- by comparison with other patients who seem to suffer a lot more. The fact that I spend time reading porn stories ( some about this very thing - medical exams) while lying hours on a hospital bed certainly enhances the mood.

Dr. M usually makes a point to stop by twice a I've been greeting him with my robe open slightly at the crotch when he has stopped the last few days so that now I'm thinking he's got the idea I like him seeing me nude. Yesterday he made an unscheduled stop in the p.m. When he asked about my throat, I had just a peek of my crotch showing, but then he wanted to see my ankle so I had to stretch out my leg and I am pretty sure he got a clear view of my semi erect cock when my robe

opened up more. I couldn't really look down and confirm or I'd been obliged to cover my 'accidental' exposure. He stayed a minute more, making small talk, but he was not cruising me -- at least not blatantly -- maybe he's not at all interested, but oddly enough he came back alone this a.m. after a group of doctors he was with stopped by earlier. I made a point of extending my leg to let him feel my ankle thus exposing my groin with my partly open robe. I couldn't gauge hid reaction, however. There is another young doctor who is friendly too, but it's not clear whether my showing some glimpses of penis is having any effect on him either.

Yesterday, after that episode, I got so horny that I decided to go outside while the sun was shining and to try to get partly naked. Behind the hospital but still on its property is a small park area with benches. Trees, and an open area that adjoins the parking lot. That's where I headed mid afternoon wearing my robe and nothing else - actually a Japanese yukata (light cotton kimono-like garment)- while that in itself is not unusual, most of the ones people might sleep in are normally white with a traditional printed pattern. Mine is for casual day wear so it is a tan and beige modern design.
The parking lot is near the back so there are not as many visitors, but instead there are pharmaceutical company salesman who park their cars there and then wait between appointments. A few of them were parked (backed in) and sitting in the driver's seat. They could probably get a look in the rear view mirrors of what I was doing. I opened the front of my robe and then started pulling on my cock until it was fully hard -- a.though I can't be sure anyone's looking, they certainly have the opportunity and that thought kept my juices flowing all evening and half the night.

Mine is a male patients room shared with three other beds - separated by

curtains. Last night between 12-2am, I couldn't stifle the urge to beat off - but I made sure to make squishy jacking noises on my cock as I edged up and back from a final squirt when the 20-something guy in the corner bed seemed to be likely to be awake and listening ( turned over or got something to drink).

I know it 's not much, but I am confined to my hospital for more than a week and witn security cams everywhere I'm not about to flash strangers on the elevator. What I am doing now is some form of CMNM simulation.

Exactly because he is a serious medical professional, there is nothing to worry about. I talked to him a lot longer today - when he came in to the room, I was lying on my back and my half hard-on was visible through the thin material of the white pj's I'm wearing. As we talked my erection went down although there was some leakage of precum he might have noticed. I even joked with him about finding a bride perhaps among his patients. Our conversation went on for a while -- at least he's not scared of being with / talking to a 'flaming pervert' as some people (on this site) seem to believe.

The next door...

It was a nice sunny afternoon, so getting hornier as I feel better, I went out to the hospital grounds again to get naked in the sun. There cars parking nearby and some strollers, but I sat on the far bench and took off my pajama top. A bit later I pulled down my shorts and manage to get these cellphone pix. Had fun beating off in the April sunshine although most viewers couldn't see much since they were behind me, but a shirtless guy with a hand busy in his lap.

Last day in the hospital ...

Monday was the last of my week-long hospital stay. Young Dr.M, who I described in an earlier posting (below), had already visited me once that morning ,so I thought any chances of him seeing nude were unlikely. But - what do you know! - he came back to say he needed some photos to document how I had healed. What luck!

I was wearing my gown with nothing underneath. Of course,I knew this was my flashing opportunity come true!

So I disrobed while on the bed right in front of him. He was very professional, but my cock started swelling up. It took him a few minutes to get the photos - mostly close-ups. By this time, my cock was nearly erect and starting to leak. I was delighted he didn't just hurry away, but stayed a couple more minutes and chatted - all the.while letting me show him my naked body, cock and balls. I think he somehow knew that this was a more intimate kind of bedside manner that this patient really needed and appreciated!

This is how I looked from the end of the hospital bed (taken with a cellphone just after the doctor left).
Sun, August 10, 2014 - 12:36 AM — permalink - 0 comments - add a comment
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