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CMNM at Parties: guys often get naked for their fellow party-goers

[Note: See the full photo version of this entry at:
kelly-sb.blogspot.jp/2014/09...ked.html ]

All over of the world and particularly during the college-age years when drinking alcohol seems to become the required form of activity in achieving social acceptance - especially in groups of male friends who have just become acquainted, the clothes come off after several bottles of beer de rigeur have been consumed. Later, these friends join clubs, fraternities, or just set up their own parties, where alcohol is the elixir of male camaraderie - which begats a whole new set of 'naked' antics. It is currently that time of year in Japan (the beginning of the school year - at colleges and universities nationwide), and since it is Easter, it's also in close proximity preceding or following Spring Break for many other campus communities worldwide.

Thanks to Erikag59 for sending out these photos to remind us of how nudity figures into the male culture of student university life. I'm sure many of you have similar experiences. Write in and tell us about When I was that age, I had a stark revelation -in both the meanings of the word. My strict Protestant parents had forbid me to drink (smoke, dance, play cards or have premarital sex too - of course - religion was a package deal for them -- all or nothing - intended to prevent one from sinning (LOL). Fortunately, that helped me avoid or curb most of the seven deadly sins, but it also stifled my social development to some degree as a high school teen.

Anyway, I dreamed of escaping these 'moral' restrictions. During my freshmen and sophomore years at the local state university, I lived at home, studied a lot and also worked part-time, so I was well behaved in their eyes. But when the opportunity to study abroad came up, I jumped at the chance to participate in the Junior Year Abroad program, choosing to spend 10 months at a university in southern France. Sure enough, one of the first memories is having an alcoholic drink (chantilly -a simple beer cocktail (draft beer mixed half & half with Seven-Up (or limonade as they called it there. ) It was delicious and slightly 'dangerous' and made a nice buzz. Later, I graduated to red wine and started attending (and helping organize) parties along with my new found French friends, and also other American / British students who were also studying as exchange students at the Faculte de Lettres (College of Humanities (Literature, Languages, and Arts).

To make a long story much much shorter, I would get drunk and start removed my clothes. Eventually, I would end up inebriated and either passed out or asleep and naked. Along the way, we would be playing the typical games and antics -- along with just some plain old full. Although was surely attracted to the men around, I had not actually ever had sex with a guy (except for one furtive blow job with another anonymous (and faceless) student in my university library back home. These photos - some of them - bring back memories. Others certainly conjure up fantasies. Some times I wonder how many of today's university & frat parties are just precursory semi-erotic experiences for younger guys who will later (or not) affectionately recall their naked antics in college life when they reach middle age.
Sun, September 28, 2014 - 1:21 AM — permalink - 0 comments - add a comment

George let me into his nude life

An original story as retold by an anonymous user on the JUB Forum - (Topic: cmnm) originally posted on June 11, 2008

To see the full photo version of this posting, go to:
guysn2cmnm.blogspot.jp/2014/0...fe.html

There was this guy, George, in the room across the hall from me in the dorms. He is such an exhibitionist. He was always walking around his room naked or in his briefs and such. One day I walked down the hall after class and he was coming out of the communal shower at the end of the hall with only a towel on. We walked the length of the hall together and he told me to drop off my books and then come on him and keep him company. I tossed the books in my room and came over to his room. He was the only one there tho he did have a room mate. He invited me to have a seat on his bed on his side of the room. We chit-chatted about our day and he filled his sink with water and put shaving cream on his face and started shaving as we talked.


At some point he removed the towel from around his waist to wipe his face and continued talking while standing there looking into the mirror to shave with me sitting on his bed next to him at about cock level. He had the nicest, cleanest, cut, dangly cock hanging there. It was bent outstretched over the roundness of his balls. I could practically count the hairs of his pubes. He put his face up close to the mirror and was checking out his face with his hands and his cock slid along the white enamel of the sink and I could see the pores stretching open and pressed under the pressure of the movement. The scar line of his circumcision was darker than therest of the shaft and zigzagged a few times under the underside before straightening into an equator around the rest of it. His piss slit opened and closed from the pressure of his body pressing against the porcelain and stretching it open and closed. I couldn't tell if he was tempting me or if he was just so casual at being naked that he didn't it a second thought. He combed through his head hair, brushed his teeth, flossed and did all of his preening with me sitting within 3-4 feet answering his questions and throwing in an occasional comment of my own. He then put his feet on the rim of the sink one at a time and trimmed his toe nails. His ass was so close on occasion that I could have kissed it as he swiveled and turned to get his foot at the correct angle for trimming.


The muscles of that ass stretched and moved and I could see the fuzz of it broadening and disappearing into the crack between the two great muscle masses. I could see his ball sack from the back and the tip of his cock hanging just past them as he worked on the other foot. He then turned with his back to the sink and stretched his neck trying to look into the mirror to check out his shoulders for zits and such.


As he did this he thrust his pelvis forward with his cock sticking way out and the hairs broadened and his cock sprung forward and up. The pores of the head of it were rougher and more ridged than the shaft. the hairs disappeared into the valleys of wrinkles in his ball sack. They were much fewer in number than the pubes above the shaft which made a beautiful orb to each side of that shaft. I was mesmerized watching his most prized private parts up so close and so natural in their movements and sat there with my own cock hard and fighting for space in my jeans and tighty whities. Then he toweled himself a bit more and lifted his ballsack in a few last swipes of the towel. He reached over to the desk and picked up a pair of jogging shorts and slipped them on before sitting on his desk chair facing me and pulling on his tennis shoes. As he rocked from side to side tieing them I could see up the pant legs of his shorts and appreciate the tug of the fabric against his member and the power his man meat had to push back against the fabric.


As he stood he pulled on a tee shirt and invited me to go get a coke with him. We walked out the door together like we do everyday and we walked across the campus to the sub. But this time I watched for the bounce of his cock in his shorts. I checked out his crotch each time he readjusted himself in his chair. I loved seeing the shape of his cock and balls against the stretch of the fabric and ogled every hair and the texture of his ball sack when it ventured out from the confines of the pant legs. What puzzled me was that he was a preacher's kid. I didn't know if he was like this at home or if it was because he was finally out where he could do his own thing and if it was all innocence or if he was some how showing it all off to me because he knew how much I was enjoying it. Regardless I would fall for the little show often and soon had all of his little moles and blemishes memorized and saw his cock in every state of being and shape it had. Yes he even had an erection or three that I didn't know if he were showing off to me or if he was simply unaware that I was looking at and just being himself with. I sure wanted to see, touch and feel all of him. But I am far too reserved for all of that.


Although we did shower together from time to time in the communal shower, he no doubt knew what he had to compete with. I would really love to see old Elrod naked again and perk him up like this memory has done to me.

Sat, September 27, 2014 - 4:08 AM — permalink - 0 comments - add a comment

Are any of these guys really exhibitionists?

From: Thorn [thorngay] on his Thorngay Yahoo Group

See the fully illustrated version at:
guysn2cmnm.blogspot.jp/2014/0...ly.html

Thorn asked the question: Which are your favorite exhibitionists (from among the photos above)?

His casual poll question caused me to think a bit more deeply. In reality, it can certainly be argued whether any of these guys is actually a 'real' exhibitionist at all. Showing cock (with bare ass and a naked body) is NOT in among itself an act of exhibitionism. Most of these guys are just being genuinely 'nude' in public for another person that satisfying a personal sexual obsession with been 'seen'.

It's exactly this very type of confusion or ambiguity of definition about the role of nakedness (particularly male nudity) that lies at core of human societies' suppression and -- even repression - of what is central to understanding sexuality and the nature of sexual relationships - whether gay, straight, or bi or any other variation on these preferences.

Sorry to wax deeply philosophical but Thorn's attempt to generate a bit of visual 'teasing' (beefcake showcasing) by using photos of young men just being naked because they are making a social statement using visible nudity (in seeming violation of social and moral restraints) underlies to what extent we ALL (including the gay and liberally enlightened straight people need to re-assess and evolve our consciousness.

Yes, the guy showing his dick on the soccer field is obviously a porn model. He is only vicariously 'exposing' himself himself because cameraman and a few studio assistant are the only people actually 'seeing' his erection. It's interesting to consider that more and more of what is called pornography contains images that actually exposes 'exhibitionistic' tendencies. It is as if.. the viewers (those who buy or find the photos erotic) are excited by the fact that the 'model' (ostensibly as 'real, guy-next-door hunk') would dare to expose himself in public in order to achieve sexual pleasure or to stimulate or provoke the 'innocent' viewer / bystander to some (as yet) wild act of sexual abandon.


Therefore, the real question should be: Which photo(s) should NOT be considered exhibitionistic act? Or why you like each photo and what kinds of emotions or sexual feelings does it generate in YOU? What what kinds of emotions or sexual feelings or convictions/values is the PERSON in the photos experiencing at the time it was taken? How does he feel now, knowing that his naked photo (and face) are distributed widely on the Internet (via blogs like this one)?

THORNGAY GROUP: groups.yahoo.com/group/thorngay

Sat, September 27, 2014 - 3:59 AM — permalink - 0 comments - add a comment

Thorn's CMNM and Flashing Story Chapter 2

An original story (whether it is a true personal experience only the author can say) by Thorn. Posted on Yahoo Groups: thorngay@yahoogroups.com on January 10, 2008.




CHAPTER 2 Car flashing with my buddy, Eric by Thorn

Note: You can see the full photo version at either:

www.justusboys.com/forum/en...Chapter-2

guysn2cmnm.blogspot.com/2014/0...-2.html


The following night Eric arrived as arranged. He looked great, his white T-shirt and white shorts showed off his body well.I playfully put my arm around his waist enjoying the warmth of his body as I ushered him into the house. "You really on for this," I asked. "You bet," said Eric, "this is going to be a blast." Eric had dared me the previous night to drive around town wearing nothing but a T-shirt. I had said he had to join me, so here we were ready to go. "OK, let's go for it," I said my heart beginning to pound and my cock getting hard in anticipationWe headed out to my car and got in. "Why don't we drive to the beach," I said, "we can lose our shorts there.""Sounds good to me," said Eric. On the way Eric was talking about our impromptu window show the previous night, then talked about all sorts of other things he had done previously. "But doing it together is so much more fun," he gave my thigh a squeeze.We reached the beach and parked the car. "OK, you first... this was your idea," I laughed.

Without having to be asked twice, Eric pulled down his shorts revealing that lovely uncut dick I had seen for the first time the previous night. I couldn't be a party pooper so I pulled my shorts down and off my ankles. So here we were, in my car in public naked from the waist down and both of us hard with excitement. "Right," I started the engine and drove off down the road. There were a few people around, from where they were standing we looked as though we were fully clothed. The danger was that a higher vehicle would drive alongside us, someone would look out of a building, or that someone would cross the road. We drove around for some time enjoying the excitement of this risk of being seen. It was Eric who said, "Let's go drive down where the cruisers gather".

This was the place where all the young guys turn up and ogle at each others cars and equipment... although I have also reckoned quite a lot of them are sizing up each other's equipment, not just the cars'!"Wow, you have got to be kidding!" I responded, "There will be people all round." "So, all the more fun," Eric replied, "come on, we wanted some fun." "OK, I replied and turned the car round." We arrived at the car park that everyone meets in and drove in. Sure enough there were guys around our age everywhere, looking at cars, peering into cars and standing around in groups. I drove round the outside of the car park. "Come on," Eric said, "go there!" He was pointing to an area which was full of guys standing round cars. "OK," I said with a shrug of the shoulders. We drove down towards the group of twenty or so guys.

They were all around our age, some looked as though they must just have passed their driving test yesterday. I drove slowly past with my dick now quite hard with the excitement. One of the guys must have spotted and nudged his mate who turned round looked in and smiled. Further on another guy was even more blatant as he pointed and drew the attention of two others. My dick was now jumping and I looked across at Eric who was hard as a rod.We drove out of the car park, with Eric protesting that we should go round again. "No way," I said heading on the road home.We arrived at my houses still wearing only our T-shirts. We had driven right through the centre of town. It was getting dark so it wasn't too risky but it was pretty damn exciting, wondering if a bus would pull up alongside, a pedestrian walk through the traffic, or a big 4x4 come past. We arrived at my house and, got out of the car still naked from the waist down with a massive hard on.

I walked round behind the car and Eric got out and headed my way. He too was hard and big.Standing behind the car I grabbed his T-shirt and pulled it up and off. He was now naked in the darkness between the house and the hedge. Eric lifted my T-shirt, sliding his hand up my stomach and chest. I grabbed Eric's hard dick and started stroking, we lay down on the cool concrete. I was the first to cum. It was one of those deep shuddering ones that you get after real excitement. Eric stayed at my house that night and as we drifted off to sleep hugging each other we talked about what thrills we would get up to next.
Thu, September 25, 2014 - 8:31 PM — permalink - 0 comments - add a comment

'Mardi Gras' exposure - not the real thing - but hot, anyway

This is not to 'rain on anybody's parade'. But if you head off looking for these sights at the real Mardi Gras, you might be disappointed - although you could probably head to the Latin Quarter and see scenes like these during that time (and also at other times of year).

You can see the full photo set with the post at:
uberhorny.blogspot.com/2014/0...ut.html

The scenes in the 'Mardi Gras exposure' were not likely taken during Mardi Gras - at least, they are not really part of the Mardi Gras festivities. Although it's all in good fun, the drunken antics are not part of the annual Mardi Gras festivities (in New Orleans), which are based on a religious observance, of course. In reality, the real Mardi Gras does not take place on Bourbon Street. So it is rather a widespread myth. However, despite the 'myth', it can certainly be fun to be a part of the after-parade events that happen on Bourbon Street. Fortunately for those of us who enjoy seeing them, the cock flashing and drunken antics can occur at many other times of year. Formerly, Southern Decadence, billed as the Gay 'Mardi Gras', and held at Labor Day (first weekend in Sept) was truly an unbelievably wild street event. To many outside the New Orleans area, the term 'Mardi Gras' has become synonymous with the flagrant street flashing breast by women and cocks, balls (or butts) by men who are drunk and roaming Bourbon Street in the French Quarter after the Mardi Gras parades have finished elsewhere across the city, seeking to be rewarded with a string of shiny beads for exposing their privates or genitals.

Although fun and wild, and as such, it allows both the bead-giver and all of the casual bystanders too, a glimpse (or even more) of cute guys' dicks or their half-naked bodies (lower half - as they let their jeans and boxers drop), it is not really what Mardi Gras is. However, the myth persists. It's more likely to be an impromptu street party that spontaneously occurs during Spring Break or other holiday weekends in the old Quartier in downtown New Orleans. Tens of thousands of party-seeking college-age young people descend on the French Quarter on New Orleans during Spring Break, and "boys gone wild' is the name of the game. "In part due to the way the news media has focused on the activities of those who "visit" and go the French Quarter "after" the parades, it now appears that all many think about when they hear the words "Mardi Gras"are activities occurring in the French Quarter; i.e., flashing women (tourists who are drunk or need attention) and crowd surges (a spring break crowd trying to catch a glimpse)! This is not Mardi Gras. It has absolutely nothing to do with the "real" Mardi Gras celebration. Unfortunately, sex makes more news .. so every news camera visiting our beautiful city for Mardi Gras heads for the spring break crowd on Bourbon Street ... and does not give
adequate coverage to those who spend thousands of dollars and months of time planning "The

Greatest Free Show on Earth!" It is our hope that visitors who have seen Internet sites by tourists to New Orleans showcasing these tourists realize that they are only seeing 1/10 of 1% of what happens during the entire Mardi Gras season ... and hopefully, will soon realize Mardi Gras is not one big spring break for dirty old men, but an enjoyable celebration for families and friends. Locals stay away from the crowded Quarter in the evenings after a parade -- but we wouldn't miss Mardi Gras for the world! Excerpted (with additions) from www.mardigrasneworleans.com/

---------- The above amateur photos were forwarded message in a group email message from: atitlan on his [ymna] Yahoo group.----------

Thu, September 25, 2014 - 5:10 PM — permalink - 0 comments - add a comment

My Naked Mailman by Jim

This happened to me when I was living in Cornwall.

Note: You can see the full photos with the posting at one of my blogs:
quickqueer.blogspot.jp/2014/0...im.html

It was early one summer Saturday morning and I was up drinking coffee in my kitchen at the back of the house. It was already warm outside so I opened the door and sat naked on a stool in the doorway enjoying the feel of the early morning sunshine on my body. The radio was on playing some music and I didn't hear the postman coming down the driveway until he turned the corner and was standing right in front of me. He got quite a shock and apologized for disturbing me.

I told him it was no problem and I began to tweak the end of my cock - mostly to cover my embarrassment. He obviously noticed and glanced down to look. He asked me if I often went around with no clothes on and I told him that I did, whenever I got the chance. I offered him a cup of coffee and he came in to join me. He was obviously really interested in my body because he couldn't take his eyes off it - although, even to this day as I remember him, I don't think he was gay.

What happened next really surprised me - he told me that he had always wanted to go nude on a beach but had never really dared to do it because he was afraid of getting a hard-on. I could feel my cock getting a bit harder as he mentioned this. He noticed, although he didn't say anything. I told him he was very welcome to join me in the back garden for a spot of sunbathing if he wanted to take a quick break from his delivery. At that point - and much to my surprise, believe me, he put his bag of letters down and started to remove his clothes. Slowly at first because he was quite nervous, I think. Eventually he had taken all his clothes off except for his underpants. It was too late for me to try to hide my reaction and by now my cock was standing upright.

I told him that I found it exciting being naked outside and that having a hard-on was only to be expected from time to time. That brought a little smile to his face and as he took his underpants down I saw that his cock was already at halfmast. I tugged on his dick playfully as I walked past him which made him jump a bit, then he followed me out into the garden. He lay on the grass at first on his front - which, as we all know, is the worst thing you can do to avoid a hardon. I think the fact that the garden was pretty secluded by trees and bushes on three sides made him feel reasonably protected and he slowly turned over to reveal a full-grown hardon. "Hope you don't mind," he said, "but I can't help it - it's so exciting being naked outdoors."


I then started to wank my dick slowly to see what he'd do - he followed suit. Soon we were both wanking and he came into the grass. A very nice sight, let me tell you. Then, as soon as he appeared, he got up and went back to the kitchen to put his clothes back on. Before he went back to work, he came back into the garden and unbuttoned his trousers letting them fall to the ground and then pulled his underpants down again, too. He was starting to get hard again! What an exhibitionist! Then he quickly redressed and went back towards the street, back to work.
Wed, September 24, 2014 - 6:44 PM — permalink - 0 comments - add a comment

Messing about - an original story

My friend Mike and I live some way apart so when we meet up we mostly drive somewhere halfway for a chat and a little homoerotic activity, which usually means we have to do so in a public place.

[Note: You can see the full photo version of this post at:
www.justusboys.com/forum/en...nal-story ]

One of our favorite activities is meeting in a country pub after work. On these occasions we are both commando and both tend to wear loose suit trousers – mine is a vintage one which has a simply huge button fly that goes right under my crotch.

We get seated with a drink in a quiet corner away from too much scrutiny but still able to see and be seen, unbutton ourselves and gradually ease our cocks and balls into view of each other. Sometimes we put on paper on the table which we pretend to be reading and then when all along we’re enjoying the sight of seeing each other’s manhood hanging out virtually in public – well, I say hanging, but often they are pointing straight up.

Other times we will reach behind each other to give our bums a fondle, sometimes going right down to feel the balls from behind.

If the pub layout allows it, another fun thing is to both stand at the bar talking to the person serving with our flies open. The rule is, if one person is talking he gets his cock fondled by the other one. We’ve had a couple of times we’ve nearly been caught but that all adds to the thrill.

If we’re meeting during the day we often head for a sports centre as the changing rooms offer plenty of opportunities for as much exposure as possible. Striking up a long intense conversation while stood naked at our lockers is one tactic, the aim being to see how long we can be plausibly nude and on view and it’s fun to catch other guys surreptitiously checking us out.

We always go for the open showers and usually get stiff soaping up our cocks and letting others catch a glimpse of that. To show what close mates we are we will share a shower gel container and sometimes squirt the contents on each other and rub them in. We take as long as possible over this and of course never wrap ourselves in towels on the walk back.

When back by the lockers and dry ourselves with very slow exaggerated motions which draw attention to the cock and balls or bend over to dry our toes and show our bum holes to full effect.

If there’s a pool then we have a game where we each bring trunks for the other to wear – usually small and revealing with the liner cut out to accentuate the bulge. Mike once brought me such a big pair of baggy shorts that the weight of them pulled them off me spontaneously when I was - getting out of the water, much to my “pretend” embarrassment. To get my own back I made him wear a small white pair that went transparent in the water and he managed to get away with them the whole session by standing behind me when he needed to get out of the water.

Being in a pool or changing room it’s easier to spot other guys’ reactions on seeing our nudity and I’ve certainly seen quite a few unable to keep their eyes off us or hide their own erection and that’s a real turn-on.
Sat, September 20, 2014 - 5:21 PM — permalink - 2 comments - add a comment

Brandon Eaton and Seann William Scott Naked in "Balls Out: The Gary Houseman Story"

Reblogged from SuperHeroFan.net (Blog)
superherofan.blogspot.com/2011/...y.html
Brando Eaton Naked in "Balls Out: The Gary Houseman Story" Redux

I stumbled upon this post via QueerClick's Sticky sticky.queerclick.com/g/2011/...2052.php

I hadn't realized that Seann was up to getting naked in his movies. Then I read these things and started wondering if he's a closet gay dude. From Wikipedia: His first professional gig was on television in the music video for "Hole in My Soul" by Aerosmith. Soon after the video, he appeared in Chad's World, a gay-themed TV show broadcast on the Web by the short-lived Digital Entertainment Network.
From TV.com it tells us more details about Seann:
Seann's first television appearance was on the 1996 television show Unhappily Ever After. He played the part of "Moondoggie" in the episode "Beach Party".
Seann admits, "I was a virgin all through high school, I was so into sports I never had time for girls. now I'm glad I didn't. I'd rather wait till I meet the right one."
Seann has said that he enjoys "going commando."
SWS avoided nude scenes for so long and now he’s done three in a short period – 2 in this flick, 1 in Role Models. And at 32, it is a bit of a reversal of fortunes. Most get their buns out on film when they young, tight, and trying to make a name for themselves (I’m thinking Matt Damon in School Ties). Seann drops trou nearly 10 years after his big Steve Stifler breakout role in the American Pie film serie
Brandon Eaton Naked in "Balls Out: The Gary Houseman Story" Redux

I was scrounging around Netflix, and I caught that "Balls Out: The Gary Houseman Story" had been added to the Instant Queue. I watched it again to ogle at Seann William Scott in a jockstrap. But then I saw Brandon Eaton and his amazing bubble butt, and I was like, "I don't remember that?" So, I compared the caps I already done, and Netflix has a better aspect ratio so I had to recap them and share. See more pictures in this blogger's Brando Eaton gallery. You can also see more of Seann William Scott showing off his ass in a jock strap at: www.superherofan.net/2008/12...n-story/

Hot movie scene. We wonder what's going on in this scene? Is Seann trying to join him in the shower?
Actually, Seann plays his tennis coach who is prompting him to take a cold shower to help his leg get better for the second half of the match.
The coach offers his own clothes so he could have "fresh" clothes to perform in. Brandon's character is hesitant but eventually complies.
But if you ask me, it's the perfect type of setting for some CMNM perving by either one or both of them.
Fri, September 19, 2014 - 5:16 AM — permalink - 0 comments - add a comment

Failure to conceal isn't 'accidental' flashing or is it?

In England and elsewhere in Europe, it is totally natural and happens so often, it's 'hard' to keep track of. In America, the story is very different. In most of the US (except the right and left coasts), public nudity of any sort - whether rather innocent or flagrant -- is treated as a misdemeanor - a violation of civic laws.

Damn, that puritan ethic (smile). But then again, absence of permission or of simply overlooking the obvious, sometimes makes the 'act' all that more exciting - I suppose. In Japan, where I spend most of my time currently, this kind of things happens as well. However, the main difference is the guys do try to conceal their privates while changing. Buttocks are not considered 'private' parts of the anatomy - especially for males.

Well, it's not OK to exposed your butt in public walking down the street, but a little harmless arse-flashing happens amazing regularly on beaches, sports fields, parks, and in other public areas when the necessity of changing in public calls for it. I wrote a lot about one such experience of watching a group of Japanese twinks, who regularly meet to play frisbee soccer in a previous post here and elsewhere:

guysn2cmnm.blogspot.jp/2008/0...to.html

Photo: Frisbee soccer lads getting dressed / undressed before / after playing.

Atitlan (David; admin for YMNA, a Google Goup) wrote this short comment to accompany the above candid pics:

This looks like Brighton beach to me - lads down from London for the day. It is the sort of thing that happens at the British seaside. I remember as an impressionable 14 year-old glancing up from a book I was reading on the beach, to notice something that stayed in the memory. A lad a few feet away from me, a couple of years older, was trying to remove his swimsuit under his towel, only for the towel to drop and reveal a horizontal erection. His look was one of shock, mine must have been of admiration.

-- You can receive messages like this if you are subscribed to the Google Groups "ymna" group. For more options, visit this group at groups.google.com/group/ymna

Sat, September 13, 2014 - 6:17 PM — permalink - 0 comments - add a comment

'Gay travel': Why gay men so obsessed with being separate/different?

Except from a discussion on another site: Dudesnude Travel ForuM

Ash (from Toronto) started off with the topic:

Am I the only one who travels here without having to put "gay itineraries" in my agenda whenever I travel?
I find that a lot of gay guys have this need of searching for places that are gay-friendly, and that really strikes to me as saying "can I cruise for sex here?"

I may be wrong, but chances are I am right about this.
When I travel I focus on the sightseeings, cool things to see, street festivals, kickass pubs and comfy lounges, and such...doesn't matter to me whether it is gay friendly or not.
I mean, yes it would be great to meet other gay guys during my trip, but I just find it that guys are limiting themselves of 'where to go' for a vacation when they're focusing on gay-friendly-accepting-areas.
Sorry if I have offended anyone, but I'm just wondering?

----------------------------

Response from Sunbuns (me) to Ash's question:

Let me assure you that I am NOT arguing your point.
Just commenting and adding my own opinion.

It is a curious thing. I believe that in the future (hopefully not so long a time to come) that most gays won't be in a position and in the state of mind that limits them to choosing only a 'gay' destination. But -- at that point in time -- there won't be a need for sites such as this one either.

It's a matter of perspective and purpose.

You're on the gay channel -- remember. I am very sure that if you went to a general travel forum -- such as TravBuddies, etc, and similar sites, IF you could ask the members and get an honest answer (from some of those who post travel blogs, photos, review, etc), about who is gay, you'd find a lot are. I am positive you would get a larger than 'average' percentage of members. They are on that site because they want to learn about and talk about travel. Their purpose is not anything else - while people join and visit Dudesnude mainly for other reasons - than to talk about travel.

This site is called 'Dudesnude' for a reason. The population is heavily weighted to guys who are horny, seeking some kind of gratification (not only sexual), and / or who like looking at (or talking/chatting) with similar guys.

The fact that there are plenty (still a minority) who are here for other reasons or who aren't always looking for sex / hook-ups shouldn't allow you to draw major conclusions about all 'gay' people or gay travelers.

Another thing is your age.

You seem to be of the latter generation (younger) - one that has (possibly) grown up without the layers upon layers of prejudice (still existing to a large degree) and discrimination (exists far, far less than 20-30 years ago) when the 40+ generation was going through late adolescence and young adulthood. Note please; I did not say that your generation has never experienced those things but it's a matter of degree. (We older folks always think things were tougher back in our 'days'. *lol* - so allow me that delusion (although I do believe there is enough truth in the idea. )

It was a different time even 20 years ago - at the time just before the first big AIDS epidemic -- and what seems normal behavior for young gay men nowadays was hardly tolerated at all -- except in some special 'gay' places. Some gay men today tend to think that way. Just one theory.

Another reason may be the way you can express yourself (in your home community) and also what you want out of a vacation may be very different -- sometimes quite extremely so. Coming from liberalized, enlightened Canada, especially a very cosmopolitan place such as Toronto (I think that where you're from) - you probably don't feel the need to go off for a vacation -- just to be your 'gay' self - it is something you can do happily right in your own community - without free of reprisal or even physical danger.

But even today in small town rural America - in Kentucky for example (where I lived most of my adolescence) seeing guys hold hands (or God forbid - kiss) is still an absolute social no-no. There are no gay bars except for a hour or 2 hour drive away and Pride is considered to be one of the 7 deadly sins -- not a summer event for the gay crowd. Gay people still don't have much of a face on the local state college campus even now -- nearly 25 years since my friends and I started the first GLBT Association on that campus.

Your purpose for travel may include things that some people can't (or don't want) to be involved with. Travel seems to be a very highly personalized activity - especially how one perceives of the 'travel' experience and its meaning.

A vacation is not the same time as travel -- although travel can also be a vacation is (usually) much more -- especially for people like you and me.

Perhaps some just see the trip (or vacation) as an extended long stay version of 'the one-night stand," whereas you (or me) might see if as something more or different or maybe not. They don't necessarily see their trip (not matter how well planned and expensive) as a real travel experience - but simply as 'vacating' their normal premises (changing spaces -- not 'exchanging' places (becoming someone new by experiencing a new cultural perspective in an unknown place in the word).

For me it is often a time of reflection, self-discovery, having new experiences or cultural lessons, and even spiritual development. But it can also be about sex and physical gratification (pleasure/desire), too. Some people may see it as a combination of all of these.

Perhaps too you're happy with your sexuality and satisfied with your romantic and sexual relationships. So you are looking for that desperately -- like some men are. For many people, the urge to find a 'mate' forms a major part of the agenda for a vacation. So the idea of choosing a 'gay' resort / gay-friendly area increases the chances of consummating that desire.

I agree totally. There are so many wonderful places in the world worth visiting - -why limit yourself by going ONLY to gay 'resorts'. However, it is also true that more and more of these great vacation spots are actively trying to 'recruit' new tourists who are gay and are actively selling themselves as 'gay-friendly' destinations. The average income of gays (in general) is fairly high - so it has become a segment of the population that is often courted by the travel industry.
Sat, September 6, 2014 - 10:56 PM — permalink - 1 comments - add a comment
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