Speaking Out

took a wrong turn somewhere...

sunshinelove — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 17:32:04 GMT

Wait just a cotton picking minute here - how on earth did my job evolve into talking to people on the phone and hanging out on social networking sites? It's like I just became a twelve year old girl again. At any rate, I still refuse to IM or text. That's where this cranky old lady draws the line. For now. Until somebody pays me otherwise.

agoraphobia strikes in mysterious ways

sunshinelove — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 15:51:19 GMT

Even while I'm supposedly traveling and highly mobile, I find that my instincts to settle in and hunker down are functioning unabated. Actually, in some ways, they are even worse. I feel like I'm somewhere in the middle of being a gypsy, a hermit, and a paranoid schizophrenic; the latter mainly because I'm carrying most of my belongings around with me like some hare brained psychic refugee who couldn't decide what to pack so just brought it all but can't use any of it. Okay, no like about it - that's exactly what happened. Why pack when you can just move? I have similar thoughts about cleaning sometimes. I hate having stuff. Because then I have stuff I have to worry about. Janis Joplin so had it right when she sang that "freedom's just another word for nothin' left to lose." Because things trap us down. We have to protect our things. We stop caring about the things that really matter (ie, people) to take care of the things that don't (ie, everything else). My mom is the queen of this technique. If all our stuff hadn't come from yard sales I sometimes think she would have plastic covered the furniture. I blew off a lot of people this week because I couldn't simultaneously hold the thoughts of dealing with new driving and taking care of my stuff at the same time. I can go more places when other people drive. I can go anywhere if my hands are free. I barely even like carrying a backpack, let alone all this suitcase and bin nonsense I've been doing lately. I have too much shit. I need to start traveling light again. Just how much does my physical baggage weigh down my mind, anyway?

yet another web site

sunshinelove — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 08:14:51 GMT

Because completely redoing my googlepages website three times in the last two days wasn't enough work for me, I now just moved the entire shebang over to google sites: http://sites.google.com/site/talking2sunshinelove/ It's messy but I kind of like it. I really, really dig that it has a sitemap: http://sites.google.com/site/talking2sunshinelove/system/app/pages/sitemap/hierarchy That's been the most painful part - changing menus for five different domain names under three different google ID's. Now they are all in one place under my primary login ID. Fuckin' Yay. Actually, which do you like better? This is my old one that I just changed from blue back to green back to blue then finally to purple -right before I found this new site. Just shoot me. http://tsunshinelove.googlepages.com/

the mother of invention is what, again?

sunshinelove — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 00:12:37 GMT

Some guys will do anything for a good spanking. Check out the patent date on this bad boy.

hot in any tongue

sunshinelove — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 22:11:46 GMT

I can't stop laughing. This is the funniest thing that's happened to me all week. I was out smoking and trying to add money to my old phone through customer service when my new phone rang. I decided to keep my old beat up prepay phone for personal use and dedicate my spiffy new one for business use. So I'm high and hanging up one phone and taking the call on the other and I hear that it's on my Spanish line while I'm packing everything up, wrestling with the slider door, coming inside and turning off my music all at high speed before accepting the call. So I'm a little bit breathless and all the while I'm praying it's my one gringo friend who figured out to call that line because it's my cheapest. "Bueno," I pant into the phone. "Bueno! Como estas?" Crap. No such luck. It sounds like a native speaker. "Bien. Y tu?" I got completely and totally lost from there. Every so often I'd pick up enough words to be able to giggle or sound offended or shocked or turned on or whatever and here and there I would pant out "Si! Si!" but I seriously had no clue what he was saying or what to say back. He hung up in just two minutes, not surprisingly. Then my other phone rang. It was that boy - the one with the good energy. He explained the anomoly he had sensed in the force that night and I thanked him for his candor. Head spinning, I go back to see what terrible rating I got for taking a call in a language I can barely understand. Imagine my surprise to see the following: Billable Call Length: 2 Minutes Rating: 4 stars Written Feedback: very good made me cum!!!!!

I can fly! (the video)

sunshinelove — Sat, 19 Jul 2008 07:21:18 GMT

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IOupDT4pu44

see my fat ass fly

sunshinelove — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 00:42:35 GMT

Okay, so I don't like to talk about my weight too much - especially not the numbers. But today I gotta just spill everything. I got down to what - 165 a couple months ago? Yeah, well then I gained 15 or 20 back on for some unknown reason. Whatever. I'm now exactly back at 175, which is exactly where I've been plateaued and stuck since spring of 2007. At just barely five foot five, I feel permanently bloated. Oh fucking well. Did I let that stop me from enrolling in an aerial class that I was in dubious physical or financial shape to complete? Of course not. Just like everything else in my life, I just fucking did it. And you know what? I fucking rock at this. This is my very favorite new workout in the entire world. It's like flying in bondage but without the restraint, obviously. Although being tied up and moved around sure is a lot easier than doing all the work myself, I gotta admit. And while I may be the heftiest, I am NOT the worst one in the class. Oddly, the lovely flamenco dancer can't get past her fear and strength issues, which is sad. She gives up too easily, something I also used to suffer from. But I've found that undying tenaciousness gets me farther. And higher, as the case may be.

not rope marks

sunshinelove — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 00:52:40 GMT

Geez, it looks like I just spent the week doing hardcore suspension bondage. Well, suspension anyway. Nothing kinky about these marks, for once. These marks are from the hammock and harness training. The bruises on my feet are from the tissue climbing. I always said I wanted to be an aerial acrobat and this intensive is like flying boot camp; it is totally kicking my ass but holy freakin' crap - I am getting so incredibly strong! I love it. Damn. Owie. Thanks to tissue training in particular, I can now almost hold my own (not inconsiderable) body weight vertical on a rope with my elbows tucked in. I'm also ~this~ close to being able to flip myself backwards from a run or swing. I can already do it from standing no problem, which apparently is completely back asswards, no pun intended. Surprise, surprise. But I did it today - I'm getting my pelvis back and over my center of gravity, which is no mean feat considering the way my weight is distributed. In fact, that's the best thing about these classes. I may not be able to get everything right away or have the strength to make it at first, but if I keep at it, I totally nail it the next day. The tissue is definitely the hardest, though. That's a new goal - and one that comes with some serious body conditioning. Hell yeah. Whew. I'm exhausted. You just have no idea.

good timing

sunshinelove — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 04:48:53 GMT

There is something fantastically satisfying about having a caller thoroughly research my ass. I had a guy call me up yesterday and read my own words back to me for the first few minutes of the call. He said he was conflicted. He was calling my submissive line but then he read back this whole rant buried at the very bottom of one of my pages where I said I was tired of submitting and just wanted to hit, hurt and humiliate loser jerks like him. Hmm. Guess what he wanted? And I did it, folks! I took my first humiliation call and belittled and berated this bozo for a full half hour - while wearing my brand spanking new collar the entire time. How hot is that?!

panic attacks

sunshinelove — Sun, 13 Jul 2008 18:00:33 GMT

I hate clothes shopping. I'm broke. I have very little time. I just got the requirements list for the week long aerial dance intensive that starts tomorrow. I so do not have the appropriate clothing for this it's ridiculous. Urg. And what the hell is rosin? I need snug fitting clothing that covers my arms and legs. Uh huh, like I brought that in July bailing from fire central. I mean, I can probably get away with the jeans I brought but all my tops are either skimpy or baggy.

you're gonna laugh

sunshinelove — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 22:53:41 GMT

I've learned that when a phone sex caller tells me that I'm gonna laugh to not bother denying it ahead of time. They expect to get laughed at, because to not laugh would be seriously abnormal, I think. They all think they have something strange or unusual or weird and sometimes, once in awhile, some of them really do, like this guy: He calls me up, tells me how hot I am, and we chat for a bit about martial arts. Then he gets around to his request. Apparently, it makes him really hot to hear a woman blow her nose. You bet your ass I laughed. And then I blew my nose for him. Repeatedly. Until he came. No joke. I'm gonna love this guy come cold season. I already told him I'd send him an email the next time I get all morose and teary eyed so I can give him a good blow.

did I really just think that?

sunshinelove — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 20:40:20 GMT

I guess as we get older, different things become more important. At one point in my life the things that would attract me to a man were fairly simple and predictable: long hair, leather jackets, motorcycles and tattoos. I still kind of look when I hear the roar of a bike or see a flash of punked out plumage. But then I just sort of shake my head and wonder why. The difference became screamingly clear the other day while I was out having one of my tail-gate-party-of-one smoke breaks down in suburbia. Sometimes I feel like it's my own personal video game - where to catch a toke while dodging all the stroller moms and dog walking dads. Alack! Someone must have called the neighborhood watch again - watch out for the cruiser! Damn, snubbed again. Gate latched tight. Have to hop the fence to get back in. As if I look out place or something... At any rate, along comes a guy and his dog. Just an average guy, and an average dog. Nothing out of the ordinary. As I watch his back retreat down the sidewalk, I look to see what he has in his hand. It is a blue newspaper bag, with a round lump swinging in the bottom. Dog poo. "How sexy," I thought. And then, immediately, "What?!" Did I seriously just think that?" Yup, I sure did. And it was. I guess after all these years of frustration with immature man-boys who can't even take responsibility for their own shit, there really actually is something downright sexy about a man willing to carry his own dog's poo down the street in a little blue bag just because it's the right thing to do. Granted, I think anyone who submits themselves to canine servitude is a bit daft in the first place, but that's just my personal taste. I've never been a dog person. On a totally unrelated note, this is what I get to do all next week down in Santa Cruz: http://sanfrancisco.tribe.net/event/Axis-Aerial-Dance-Intensive/santa-cruz-ca/0aea453c-daf9-467a-9768-b4a1eb60be41 I'm finally gonna learn how to fly! Oh, and I made a slide show of some of my older pictures: http://www.thephonesexspace.com/photo/photo/slideshow?feed_url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thephonesexspace.com%2Fphoto%2Fphoto%2FslideshowFeedForContributor%3FscreenName%3D39jj1datemki&back_url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thephonesexspace.com%2Fprofiles%2Fprofile%2Fshow%3Fid%3DSunshineLove%26

as if Sunshine wasn't perky enough

sunshinelove — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 01:52:28 GMT

Now people are feeling the need to call me Sunny. I don't feel like a Sunny. Do I look like a Sunny? I resent the familiarity. Yeah, have a sunny frikkin day yourself. Whatever. Sunny. Isn't that a religion?

the force is strong with this one

sunshinelove — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 21:10:33 GMT

All right, now we're talking. After decisively taking matters into my own hands and getting the hell out of fire zone central last night, I wake up this morning to birds singing, breezes blowing, and a full and timely restoration of all my listings except one. Simply outstanding. Not to mention the delightful mauling I got on his way out the door to work. Yummy. I'm still trying to figure out exactly which photo is violating TOS this time, though. Any thoughts? Do rulers count as sex toys? I mean, hell, I can make anything into a sex toy... http://t-sunshine-love.livejournal.com/35397.html <<NiteFlirt does not permit photos containing nudity, pornographic material, models under the age of 18 or content that violates our Adult Content Policy. This includes photos with models wearing transparent clothing and photos of sex toys.>>

what am I worried about?

sunshinelove — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 22:54:10 GMT

Fuck it. What am I worried about? I have blankets, a gazillion pillows, and a truck. Did I ever tell the story about how I got upset one night and decided to go for a drive to clear my head and ended up in Colorado in the middle of January? It's time for a vacation, one way or another. At least my vehicle locks now, finally.

can I stay with you?

sunshinelove — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 22:22:01 GMT

Okay, this is a living hell. I need to get somewhere with cleaner air, and amusingly enough, that seems to be the bay. Anybody wanna put me up for a day or two on their couch these next few weeks, starting ASAP? I feel like I'm about to throw up and I can barely see my eyes are so dry. I can be packed in hours.

a series of nervous breakdowns

sunshinelove — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 20:42:56 GMT

I WANT MY SKY BACK * Jul. 8th, 2008 at 10:57 AM I want my goddamn sky back. Sky is not supposed to be grey. Summer is not supposed to smell like burning pine needles. Air is not supposed to taste like campfire. This is like living in Seattle, but with arid burning greyness instead of dripping dreary greyness. I am so depressed. * Mood: depressed Tags: * fires NAKED AND ANGRY * Jul. 8th, 2008 at 12:04 PM Oh my fucking god..... Every single one of my phone sex listings has been shut down over the word "suicide"!!!!! Since when is suicide an unmentionable word? I don't believe this shit. Luckily I got a call in right before I got shut off so I managed to make some money before what will probably be a 2-3 day listing blackout before my ads go back online. Fucking fuck. At least I can still take calls from off site using my buttons I've been spreading everywhere. I want to rip apart the censorship laws in this country with my bare fucking hands. What the fuck is wrong with this world, anyway? Tell me I can't fucking talk about suicide or piss or fisting or anything else interesting. I mean seriously - no talk about bodily fluids? What about cum? Fucking bastards. What is this obscenity nonsense anyway? As if words could had power or something... Forwarded conversation Subject: Your listing has not been accepted on NiteFlirt ------------------------ From: NiteFlirt Play Fair Date: Tue, Jul 8, 2008 at 11:09 AM To: Sunshine Love Dear Sunshine Love, Thank you for creating your listing on NiteFlirt. Unfortunately, we aren't yet able to accept the listing to be displayed on the NiteFlirt website. Please remove all mention of "suicide' from your homepage and listings as this is considered violent and obscene. The Adult Policy states: "NiteFlirt specifically prohibits any listings that contain content related to bestiality, sex, incest, or sex with graphic violence or degradation, excretory functions, bodily fluids, fisting and any other content which may be judged as obscene." Please edit your listing to comply with NiteFlirt's policies. After you edit your listing, it will automatically be resubmitted for review. Please allow up to 3 business days for the changes to your listing to be reviewed. Please note: Although your listing cannot yet be displayed on NiteFlirt, your listing page still exists! You can receive calls and build your business through your own promotional efforts. Thank you for building your business on NiteFlirt! Sincerely, The Play Fair Team NF Entertainment ---------------------------- I just had to go through and manually edit every one of my pages and now all I can do is wait and see if NF finds anything else wrong with them according to their Victorian TOS. * Mood: pissed off, incredulous SELFSPLOITATION * Jul. 8th, 2008 at 1:02 PM However, ANYTHING can be an opportunity for selfsploitation! I posted my rejection letters with links to every one of my call buttons with a not so subtle hint to call my off network ass: http://t-sunshine-love.livejournal.com/35151.html * Mood: vindictive, triumphant SUSPENDED?!?! * Jul. 8th, 2008 at 1:18 PM WORSE!!!!!!!! Oh my freaking god, I wanna kill somebody. I'm not even a flirt anymore! I've been degraded to member status - which means I can't send emails or anything. I've been suspended for all intents and purposes. The damndest thing is that I think I had just made a new record already today. * Mood: apoplectic A NEW RECORD * Jul. 8th, 2008 at 1:33 PM Yup. Best day ever. I've only had four $100+ days so far and today was smoking! Plus, I could have just totally made another few bucks on selling my last customer a specific photo set but I'm blocked from sending members email now, just flirts. How fucking special. * Mood: cock blocked WHAT ~IS~ THIS STUFF? * Jul. 8th, 2008 at 2:51 PM Oh my god. I just realized what all the chunky ashy stuff all over my keyboards is and where it's coming from. It is literally ASH, huge chunks of ash, coming in through my fully screened window above my desk. It's like I'm already on the playa. * Mood: stunned

when role play goes wrong

sunshinelove — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 09:52:15 GMT

Mental note: When a caller tells me to rip off a piece of one of the 8 rolls of colored duct tape I have in front of me in order to seal his mouth shut before fucking him in the ass, try not to get so distracted by actually trying to get the damn roll unstuck that I lose the call. I can't fucking believe I just did that. But it was gonna make a really cool noise when I finally tore it off, I swear!

The adult pornography industry reports a huge uptick in business thanks to Bush’s package

sunshinelove — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 23:17:54 GMT

I ran across this while doing research for work. About damn time that man did something useful. http://thinkprogress.org/2008/07/02/bush-porn/

the One

sunshinelove — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 08:54:55 GMT

I just watched Office Space for the first time in years. Every time he picked up the phone in his cube at the beginning of the movie, I kept expecting to hear Morpheus on the other end of the line giving him directions on how to crawl down the line and out the window to avoid the agents and their damn TPS reports. Actually, I think Peter may be even more my personal hero than Neo ever was... "You see, Bob, it's not that I'm lazy; it's just that I don't care."

945 MB free?!?!?

sunshinelove — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 03:09:33 GMT

How on earth could I POSSIBLY have 17 GIGS worth of information on my hard drive? It says I only have 945 MB free! That can't be right... Huh, that's my file system, I guess, whatever that means. It says I have 257.0 GB free in Documents, but it wouldn't let me install my Firefox update because I didn't have enough space. I guess I'm not really sure what is what on this silly machine. But it's pissing me off. *sighs* Okay, yes, I do definitely have 11521 items, totalling 17.8 GB in my items, about 12 GB of which is photos. No surprise there. But I still don't understand why I'm having issues because I've got TONS of free space. It says my File System only has a capacity of 17.9 GIGS and I've used 17. What the hell? And THEN the stupid numbers don't even match up, because in The Very Same Place, it says that THESE are the numbers: 171936 items, totalling 34.5 GB!!! At this point I'm guessing that I have a 300 GIG hard drive under all these numbers somewhere. Oh, GOODIE.... And now it's telling me I don't have permissions to view things on my own damn disk. I don't friggin' think so.

to split or not to split

sunshinelove — Sun, 06 Jul 2008 19:19:40 GMT

Once again my NF profile has gotten all cluttered up with a billion different categories. My submissive lines are still kicking ass but I wonder if I should split off my domme ads into a separate account. The standard advice is that having both types of lines is confusing to the callers but I think as long as I'm consistent in my inconsistencies it will work out okay for me. I'm a complex person. My favorite callers are also switches, anyway, so I think it will probably be okay. Although it is tempting to do an entirely separate mistress "character", just for kicks and grins but I'm not sure whether I'd want to use a different name/photos. Oh hell, maybe I should take a certain unnamed girlfriend up on her idea and front for both of us. La la la...

delayed processing time

sunshinelove — Sun, 06 Jul 2008 16:11:42 GMT

Man, it takes months for things to catch up to my brain sometimes. Like somehow I'm just now waking up thinking about how I got crucified for Easter and had to carry my own cross up Mission Street. And how I got tied up into a canvas mail sack, strung up and beaten on with punching gloves at Shibaricon. I could have gone to sleep in that thing if they hadn't started hitting me with something stingy. They took my screams as a safe word. Good call. I don't do stingy. Thuddy is good but not stingy.

the truth about dick pics

sunshinelove — Sat, 05 Jul 2008 18:44:22 GMT

I think every woman here can relate to this terrific public service announcement from one of my new favorite writers on tribe: Fellas, You Gotta Tighten up your Game http://people.tribe.net/13cd919f-9ebc-47a8-9558-e66f50457c47/blog/c579ac03-2697-4a9b-832a-50c4090762e5 What most of these guys don't seem to realize is that they're barking up the wrong tree. As near as I can tell, dick pics ARE effective, if you're looking for more dick. This approach seems to work just fine for gay guys, unless I'm drastically mistaken. For pussy, not so much...

the weed is working

sunshinelove — Fri, 04 Jul 2008 15:11:38 GMT

My blood pressure is perfect, the lowest it's ever been. It was never bad, but that bottom number started out in the 90's when I first had it measured about a decade ago. It slowly slid down the 80's and 70's until now it's somewhere down in the 60's. I've never been one to notice or care too much about what it all meant but even I can notice a drop in 30 points.