Everyone quiet down, I have something very important to say.

I made a serious error in leaving a testimonial for this person, which I must clarify immediately.

She was not eating disgusting, nasty, awful cottage cheese with her finger.

It was yogurt.

Please note this fact, and I apologize for any pain for suffering my error may have caused.

Cottage cheese is AWFUL.

This woman knows exactly how to give me what I NEED at the most inconvenient hour and in the wackiest place EVER.

I think that makes her pretty damn fine!

Besides that, I have seen her rockin' out HARD CORE, dancin' in a frenzy, whilst also eating cottage cheese with a finger.

Now that is SERIOUSLY bewitching, SERIOUSLY healthy, and SERIOUSLY silly, all adjectives which I adore.

She is open and supportive and nonsensical, in ways that I know I will only appreciate later on in life, more and more.

She has a remarkable memory, and dares to actually LISTEN to the stupid shite that others spout out at her.

She loves her man dearly, and dotes on him and his talents, which I find gorgeous.

She is RELENTLESS... exactly when you need a friend to RELENTLESSLY try to push you out of depression.

She has lovely breasts (seriously, try and sneak a peak... it's worth it).

She is generous and kind and has the energy I had years ago and am currently attempting to re-obtain.

She will sit in the dust with you in the middle of nowhere drinking crappy booze, crying and laughing, and exchanging brutally honest, personal stories, until security starts to drive towards you and you have to jump on your bikes and attempt to act somewhat sober.

She will let you pass out half-way in, and half-way out of her and her husband's tent, no questions asked.

She engages in conversations with anyone she meets, and is actually REALLY interested in what others have to say.

She loves quickly and deeply, and whether or not she knows it, others do the same towards her.

; )