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Swazzie

21 photos in album
joined on 06/17/04
last updated 05/19/08
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THINGS I'M BURBLING ABOUT

SOMETIMES I'M SNEAKY (blog entry) Sometimes I'm sneaky as you can see in this surveillance photograph. I'm not sure what I was doing with these babalicious hotties but I'm sure it was something sneaky from the look on my face. I can't help myself though. My whole life I've "suffer... read more
blog entry posted Tue, May 13, 2008 - 4:16 PM permalink - 2 comments
MORE REASONS TO LOVE ME OR HATE ME (blog entry) Ahh yes. Everyone knows I have a big hard-on for swastikas. Why? I think they're magical. I think they're beautiful, and for lack of anything better they are the defacto "outlaw symbol". Okay I know what you're saying, "Is that oppinion or fact? I... read more
blog entry posted Sun, May 11, 2008 - 11:52 PM permalink - 2 comments
SEXY HOSPITAL FASHION SHOW (blog entry) NEVER volunteer to be in a "Sexy Hospital Fashion Show". The first thing they do is make you strip and put on a garment that makes your ass hang out. Then they shoot you up with morphine. After a while you and all the other models will look like I... read more
blog entry posted Thu, January 17, 2008 - 4:05 PM permalink - 4 comments
DELICIOUS CLINT BEFORE THE CULT (blog entry) Oh yeah. It's more pictures of EmergNsee '07. Isn't it funny that the people who make everything happen behind the scenes are the least appreciated? Well I saw Clint dripping with sweat from all of his constant knob twisting on his soundboard and ... read more
blog entry posted Tue, January 15, 2008 - 8:53 PM permalink - 4 comments
BEFORE MY RECENT PENIS SURGERY (blog entry) I don't know how many times doctors have operated on my "Frankenpenis" now. I've lost count. You girls always want longer and harder so I try and give you what you want. Call me Mr. Metalpants. This piece I'm holding is just part of the massive co... read more
blog entry posted Fri, January 11, 2008 - 1:20 PM permalink - 3 comments
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BORING NEWS ABOUT ME

Selling my house this summer. Going to move to Pennsylvania or Michigan. Just shaved for the first time in a couple of years....Hmmm

Bought a new pistol. I was debating what to buy, but finally went for ergonomics over caliber. I bought a Walther P22 partially because of the fit (me and my girly-hands) and the fact it is designed to be fitted with a supressor. PLINK!...PLINK!....PLINK!....Shooting is legal outside the city where I live. So is burning. Yaaay.

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THOUGHTS ON EVIL DOCTORS AND MONSTERS

SOMETIMES I'M SNEAKY
Sometimes I'm sneaky as you can see in this surveillance photograph. I'm not sure what I was doing with these babalicious hotties but I'm sure it was something sneaky from the look on my face. I can't help myself though. My whole life I've "suffered" from a little-known malady called "Sneaker's-Syndrome" first identified by Dr. Hedley Sneaker at the Mt. Sianai hospital for the incurably insane in 1895. According to the DSM 3 book, people with Sneaker's-Syndrome have an overwhelming desire to ... read more
Tue, May 13, 2008 - 4:16 PM permalink - 2 comments
 
MORE REASONS TO LOVE ME OR HATE ME
Ahh yes. Everyone knows I have a big hard-on for swastikas. Why? I think they're magical. I think they're beautiful, and for lack of anything better they are the defacto "outlaw symbol". Okay I know what you're saying, "Is that oppinion or fact? I thought you were either a Nazi or a Navaho to wear one." Well sorry to burst your bubble but the swastika has been adopted by all races and colors as a symbol of rebellion and rejection of mainstream society. There are certainly those who would figh... read more
Sun, May 11, 2008 - 11:52 PM permalink - 2 comments
 
SEXY HOSPITAL FASHION SHOW
NEVER volunteer to be in a "Sexy Hospital Fashion Show". The first thing they do is make you strip and put on a garment that makes your ass hang out. Then they shoot you up with morphine. After a while you and all the other models will look like I look in this picture. Happy little zombies with your ass hanging out. Then without warning they parade all of you, asses and all, down the corredor and through a gauntlet of nurses and doctors. They whoop and hollar and pinch your ass and throw conf... read more
Thu, January 17, 2008 - 4:05 PM permalink - 4 comments
 
DELICIOUS CLINT BEFORE THE CULT
Oh yeah. It's more pictures of EmergNsee '07. Isn't it funny that the people who make everything happen behind the scenes are the least appreciated? Well I saw Clint dripping with sweat from all of his constant knob twisting on his soundboard and decided to give him a beer. Later on I gave him another. Then the beers started piling up on his soundboard because everytime I walked past I'd kick him down another. Eventually I hung-out with him and his partner, "backstage". His partner was actual... read more
Tue, January 15, 2008 - 8:53 PM permalink - 4 comments
 
BEFORE MY RECENT PENIS SURGERY
I don't know how many times doctors have operated on my "Frankenpenis" now. I've lost count. You girls always want longer and harder so I try and give you what you want. Call me Mr. Metalpants. This piece I'm holding is just part of the massive construction effort that you can see from the photos in the background. Too late to turn back now. When the new vibrator model comes out I'll let all you girls know.
Fri, January 11, 2008 - 1:20 PM permalink - 3 comments
 
THE MORPHINE AND PUDDING CLUB
Ahhhh. Morphine and pudding. What everyone should have for breakfast after shattering your ankle. The pudding tastes so much better with the morphine too! They should just mix them both together! Mmmm. I bet that snack would fly off of the shelves. Anyway, I just wanted to take the time to say that MY morphine and pudding is better than YOUR morphine and pudding.

So there! Nyaaa!
Thu, January 10, 2008 - 9:03 AM permalink - 3 comments
 
ME AND SOME CANADIAN JEWS
It was June of '07. The EmergNnsee Festival. I found myself wandering aimlessly at dusk, drunk on what was probibly my second half-rack. I happened upon one of countless groups of hippies gathered by a bus. For whatever reason G.G. Allin came to mind and this freaked-out tofu-mom covered her child's ears and rather hastily ushered it away. Before I knew what happened, a guy in a funny green robin-hood-looking hat, or so it appeared at the time, grabbed my bicep and walked me across the road t... read more
Wed, January 9, 2008 - 5:21 PM permalink - 2 comments
 
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SONNY
Good cheer goes out to Sonny Barger, President of Cave Creek, Arizona HAMC (former Predident of Oakland HAMC) who turned 69 years old October 8th. May there be many miles before you. Support your local Red And White!
Wed, October 10, 2007 - 3:08 AM permalink - 0 comments
 
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CRIMINAL PROFILERS THINK I'M NEATO!

mutter grmbl mutter guns and knives mutter brmble brbl kilts mutter serial mutter killer mutter grmbl dread mutter locks mutter brbl grmbl and mutter swastikas mutter grmbl brbl grmbl leather mutter beer mutter and bonfires grmbl grmbl mutter BBQ grmbl mutter mutter terrorist grmbl big dog mutter mutter grmbl mister chewy grmbl brbl...

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EXCERPTS FROM MY SECRET C.I.A. FILE

Gender
Male
Age
35
Location
Portland
about me
34, Grew-up in PDX, lived in the Bay-Area and Seattle. Worked as a researcher of Thanatology and Morbidity then worked in the funeral industry. Taught my way around the world. Saw the eclipse of the millineum on the Hungarian plain. Collect strange books, weapons and audio gear. Have a 130 pound dog. Have dreads to my waist and I like drinking beer, wearing kilts and burning huge piles of wood on my compound out by Sauvie Island. 81 supporter. Collect rare books on all sorts of strange things. Extroverted hermit paradox. Looking for a sick woman to make me her art bitch. Where are all the suicide girls?
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My Testimonials

Eris
Eris
offline 197
August 22, 2007
I declare Thee a True Agent Ov Chaos!
(you shall make a fine Art Bitch)
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members » Swazzie link to this profile: http://people.tribe.net/swaz