thoughts

Off to Reggae Rising today

sweetiekelly — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 13:53:12 GMT

This morning I'm just trying to remember any last minute things I may need to bring along. M is already on site and has our camp set up. I'll go and rearrange and make it our temporary home for the next 5 days. The picture is of the stage lighting, however we rarely go to the concert bowl except in the morning and sometimes afternoon to shop or eat vendor food. The best bands are always WAY too late and we're just too old to stay up that late. This year a head liner is UB40. This will be my 6th year at this event (that used to be called Reggae on the River). The first couple of years I was much more on my own so I did spend a bit more time listening to music, but I also enjoyed staying in camp where it was quieter and making new friends. I always went to bed early because it was easier to sleep while people were at the concert. So this year we're apparently camped in a new spot near some friends. Mostly we hang there and socialize with daily trips to the river. We like to freak out the hippies with our old nude bodies. That reminds me. A couple years ago my daughter, who was 19 at the time, was along and at the river with us. I said "I'm going to take my clothes off now so don't freak out." She replied, "Mom, in about 25 years I'll look just like you so I don't care." She's way cool about that and actually tolerates both me and M naked at the beach. Anyway, I plan on spending many hours with a book in one hand and an adult beverage in the other. I reallllly need this mini-vacation and plan on not over doing it. We are doing the main move to our new house when we return so I need to store up energy. Negative things? I started my period yesterday. This isn't fun when all you get are cold showers and port-a-potties. Some people don't know how to hit the hole and trying to deal with tampons in a steamy portable shitter is NOT fun. Same exact thing happened to me last year. At least I have a staff pass so I can go back stage, which has better poopers. Here is more info about this event www.reggaerising.com Check out the photo section. Kim Sallaway is a friend that does photos that are posted--he's so good! The photographer that shot the photo above did lots of people shots--not so much musicians. I saw a lot of familiar faces in there. Not ours, since we hide in camp. Peace.

Moving just sucks

sweetiekelly — Sat, 26 Jul 2008 03:34:59 GMT

So we're into Day 25, people. M and I have been working on the house for 25 days now trying to get it ready for us to move in. You'd think with that many days we'd be like doing a major remodel or something! We've spent a lot of time AND money getting the place into some sort of good shape so we'll feel happy in our home. The money pours out by the hundreds each week. We've cleaned, painted, scrapped, chipped, scrubbed, pulled and any other number of words you can come up with. Every day our bodies ache from stretching, rubbing, leaning, kneeling and working our old bodies harder than we have in a couple of years. M goes and works on the house during the day and several of those days goes to work afterwards. Me, I work my 8 hours then put about 3 on the house. Both of us are putting in way longer days than we deserve! Sometimes we are just ships passing. That part is cool only since I show up and see what he's accomplished and he arrives in the morning to see what I've gotten done. Since we're a couple weeks into this move we've been trying to not go the 20 or so minute drive without at least bringing stuff over. This is working good for me so far since I can unload the boxes and send them home empty and refill again. I do swear that I won't be able to find anything in the kitchen however. There are about 50 cupboard doors in that kitchen. No, I am NOT exaggerating. The fun part will be M trying to cook dinner when we moved without me close at hand--especially since he lived in this house with a different woman for a very long time. It's also important for me to get as much moved as I can now because I know M and he'll be SO tired of this moving nonsense that I won't be packing fast enough for his liking. Anyway, it's coming along great. We'll be gone for 5 days and when we get back we start the serious moving--big stuff. That will be both a relief and stressful at the same time. It will be great that we'll be to the point of officially MOVING but also moving is one of the most stressful things you can do--right up there with divorce or a death in the family. I'll pick the moving if I have a choice, by the way. So life should return to normal in a couple more weeks. Oh geez! Will I last that long?

Transformation

sweetiekelly — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 13:51:01 GMT

So M and I have been working our butts off on our "new" house. The house is actually half M's and now it's also half mine. He hasn't lived there in 4 years and it was pretty much ignored as far as cleaning and maintenance. That makes it a do-over. That's fine because we can make it OUR home. We've been busy cleaning and painting. M paints best with me far out of the way. I was happy to get to paint a little last night. I was there by myself so I did it my way. Speaking of that, how can a swatch of paint that looks beige turn out pink? Hopefully people won't see the pink that I noticed. I am thrilled that this room I painted is MY room. I've had to have my "office" space in our bedroom for the last 3 1/2 years. While it's been convenient since I'm within shouting down the hall distance from M's office and also the fact that I can sit here typing way at the computer while he's just behind me on the bed reading a book--it still doesn't give me MY space that I need. When we moved into this house I had a very tough time getting over the lack of my very own area. I've adjusted okay but like the idea of my own getaway. --to be continued as the home making continues.

The End is Near

sweetiekelly — Sat, 21 Jun 2008 03:26:03 GMT

Well, our "littles" go back to the shelter on Tuesday. They're about 2 lbs now and healthy. They were really yucky when we first got them, though. The were messy and poopy. We had to make them poo and pee. They had the runs and it stuck to their fur. We bottle fed them for weeks and it never seemed like it would end. We sometimes had to bathe them twice a day then blow dry them. Lots and lots of work! Now here they are really healthy. Look at the cuteness! In the back we have "Wolverine." She got that name because she was just the ugliest thing.--scraggly, whiney and just plain annoying. Now she is SO soft, doesn't want to have much to do with anyone, doesn't like to be held without being close to your body and sleeps away from everyone else. She has a big M on her forehead so MUST have some Maine Coon cat in her. In the front on the left we have Tiger. At first he was the one getting sucked on by the siblings. It was SO nasty. He was totally red and swollen until he was raw. Now it's a whole new story. HE is the one still wanting to constantly suck (mostly on Wolverine's behind.) He is the one scratching at the bedroom door at 5 am each morning. He loves his mommy (me) and is so bristlely you could scrub a pot with him. He is a big pig and will eat anything--he'll put his whole body into a dish so no one else can have anything (I even found him eating puke the other day.) He totally tried to eat my cheese sandwich tonite. Finally we have the little sweety, Monkey. She's soft and SO sweet. She used to like to snuggle into M's armpit all the time but has become very outgoing lately and could care less about snuggles. When they brought her to us they weren't sure she was going to make it. She was the one guilty of sucking on Tiger and spent her early days in a separate box from her siblings. She is going to make a fine little pet for someone. I'm actually surprised at the outcome. Our job here is done. Again we have nursed sicklings into great little pets. We're gonna miss this little rats.

Not so "Lucky."

sweetiekelly — Sat, 14 Jun 2008 23:23:29 GMT

Miranda's Rescue brought us two more little kittens this week. Their mother had been run over by a car and some folks searched for two days for the source of kitten mews around there house and found two little things in the insulation. They still had their umbilical cords attached so they were less than a week. One little one was stronger than the other. The first lasted with us about 24 hours and the second one we found passed on this morning. It was doing fine last night but maybe died of loneliness--no mommy--no sibling. The heating pad is a poor substitute. One more reason to make sure your pets are spayed and neutered. I even read that mommy cats can go into heat not long after giving birth--like a week or two. Maybe that's why she was running off. Non-neutered scores three lives. :( **sorry picture is a little blurry.

When Someone Cares

sweetiekelly — Sun, 25 May 2008 23:26:50 GMT

Since I haven't been very positive with blogs here in tribe I thought it was time to turn that around. Above is a picture of our Maine Coon Cat, Simon and one of the 6 week old kittens we are fostering. We call this one Tiger (theone female is Monkey and the other one is Wolverine--I know...don't ask.) Simon has adapted SO well to his little friends. We call him Uncle Simon when he plays with them. While he's close to 15 pounds, strong and can really bite hard, he still tossles with the "littles" fairly gently. Now and then they'll let out a squeal and he'll know he's being too rough. It's not unlike when your dad played a bit rough with you as a kid. I know my dad would play pretty rough with me. I actually never enjoyed it and usually ended up crying, but the dad's role often is to be the parent that plays a bit rough. I've read that this is one of the important roles a father plays with kids. It's funny to watch the kittens with Simon. They'll go over to him and immediately flop over onto their backs with all four feet up in the air. It's a total submissive move. It says "you're bigger and stronger and we'll do whatever you say!" Anyway, I wanted to share this picture of Simon licking Tiger. These little ones didn't get to have a mommy pay attention to them and while M and I do the best we can to be surrogate parents, there is nothing like a nice long lick from a grown-up feline.

Makes me Sour

sweetiekelly — Wed, 21 May 2008 13:46:39 GMT

It seems to me like I tend to post my blogs about negative things I see in people. I do see good in people, too, but the negative or bad stuff seems to require my venting. Last night we had our social group gathering/meet and greet. I watched in much dismay as someone removed the lemon garnish from the edge of their glass and then use both hands to squeeze it into their drink. The juice of this slice soaked all the fingers. It wasn't very dainty to watch--but it gets better. Then this person proceeded to lick each and every finger free of the sour juice. I sort of wish I hadn't seen that. Now, some may have found the finger licking very sexy, but being raised the way I was and knowing that we're still in cold season I couldn't help but give in inward shiver. Later that night as I was drifting off to sleep I realized that when this person said goodbye to me--rather than give them a hug to save them from my very old cold germs, I shook their hand--the very hand that had been licked. *another inward shiver* The hug would have been safer. It's no wonder I'm on my third cold in six months. I may have to stop breathing and I shouldn't touch anything in case of lemon finger lickers.

Our Cat House

sweetiekelly — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 03:02:22 GMT

*****picture taken by Kelly--Rowen and Watcher***** Service can come in many different forms. While we have a few different ways of giving back to our BDSM community and our sex positive community we've also found a way to help out the animal community. Right at this moment, our house is filled with 9 cats. Only one is our cat, Simon. The rest we are fostering for Miranda's Animal Rescue. We've got 4 very cute kittens that are about 6 weeks old. Their mommy is here for just one more day. Her job is done. She's a very sweet calico that has adapted quite well to the house and especially to Simon. There has only been two shows of power. One was Simon trying to go into the bathroom where she was nested and check out her food. That never happened more than once. Then there was a moment last night where I frightened the mommy cat who ran past Simon and scared the poo out of him. He's been very much on guard ever since. The six week old kittens are Rowen (means red headed one in Gaelic according to M's son) and he is orange. Then we have the 3 sisters that are all tigers--Climber, Watcher and Traveler. The names suit what they like to do. About five days ago the shelter called and asked us to take on 3 little one week old kittens that are orphans. I told M "you're the decider." He also can never say no, so now we have these tiny little guys. The mommy cat really didn't like the idea of nursing them. I'd try sitting with her while she nursed but she just looked up at me with her pretty green eyes and pleaded "please don't make me do this again!!" So now we are at bottle feedings every four hours. The tiny ones are one black one we call monkey. He looks like a miniature gorilla but monkey is a cool name. Then there are two sort of tabby/tigers. One has a lot of black. These two have big 'M"s on their foreheads. They have yet to be named. M says "if you name them you can't eat them." So it's pretty crazy around here with the 4 kittens zooming through the house. Uncle Simon watches them and sometimes plays until they squeak. Mommy cat is always in the way and the 3 new additions are demanding and sound like angry hawks when hungry. Although this is a lot of work, we get a huge amount of pleasure from the cuteness and also feel good about giving back in some way. Spay and neuter your pets!

All talk?

sweetiekelly — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 14:10:02 GMT

A couple days ago it really got to me. One co-worker came into the unit to pick up the bag for the "run" to the courthouse. She annouced herself . "I'm here!" First, it really doesn't matter that you came into the room. Secondly, her next words were "God grant me the serenity not to want to kill anyone right now." I know this is just how she talks, but to me, in this day and age, that is something you shouldn't announce to a room full of co-workers. Who does she want to kill? I said "you really shouldn't talk like that at work." I'm pretty sure she thought I was being sarcastic. So then within a couple minutes another co-worker comes back to her desk to find someone waiting for her. She says "what do you want?!" Generally this is her way of joking, but she does it all day. Very annoying. The co-worker asked for some supplies. The response she got was "do I need to get out my shot gun?!!" Again, I said "you guys really shouldn't joke about that at work." They ignored me. So I feel like I did the right thing by pointing this out to them, but days later it continues to bother me. There is another woman who always talks about "well, if he doesn't do it I'll kill him." I'm trying to decide whether I should let my supervisor know. I know that they are required to talk to people who make comments like that. Will they know it was me that "tattled?" Years ago a co-worker used to go walking with me and tell me personal stuff. He once said "if you tell anyone, they'll find you floating in the Bay." I told my boss just offhandedly and it spiraled into me having to meet with an invesitigator and the big boss, who just happened to be the District Attorney since that who I worked for at the time. At the drop of a hat, all I had to say was "yes, I think you should let him go." Instead I said I never thought he meant that, but if it becomes an issue again then yes, he shouldn't be here. Of course when it did happen again, they didn't fire him, but that's another story. So, bottom line is this bothers me just because I know it's not appropriate, but then neither is showing up late every day or spending long periods of time chatting in the hallway. That just goes on as regular business. <End of Rant>

Faking it!

sweetiekelly — Sat, 23 Feb 2008 04:06:10 GMT

I was going through the 2 gazillion channels of opportunity on the TV on the one evening a week that we actually might have the TV on and what should I happen to come across? The scene in When Harry Met Sally where Sally shows that MOST women HAVE faked an orgasm. Funny how I hit it exactly at the beginning of this scene! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RDADTMqDDL8 I've also racked my brain whether or not I've ever faked it. It's possible way back when...like more than 15 years ago...but now I know it's okay to just know it didn't happen and move on. Better luck next time. I'll have what she's having!

Redneck Wedding?

sweetiekelly — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 18:43:24 GMT

Yesterday we went to my cousin’s wedding. This is her first marriage at the age of 40, so of course it was expected to be a little different. Usually these aren’t quite as serious as the 20 year olds’ marrying in a big church. So here are some examples of actually things that took place. I can’t make this stuff up. To me this falls under... You know you’ve been to a redneck wedding when.... 1. It takes place at the Moose Lodge 2. You arrive and all the guests are waiting in the bar. 3. The guests bring drinks into the area where the wedding is to take place. 4. The groom is getting impatient and instructs someone to “go put a boot in her ass and get her out here.” 5. The best man is wearing a leather vest with a mud flaps girl pin on it. 6. Several friends are taking pictures during the ceremony and walk around behind the pastor and even knock over fake Ficus trees. 7. The pastor has no teeth so sounds like Elmer Fudd “do you have the wedding wing?” 8. The wedding is over and everyone runs back to the bar for another Budweiser. 9. The bride is complimented on her dress and she says “only 60 bucks!” 10. The woman helping serve food has keys hanging on her hip like a janitor. 11. The wine still has the 2.99 price tag on the bottles from the discount outlet. 12. Champagne is carefully handed out in plastic glasses and there is no toast–glasses were empty before it could have happened anyway. 13. The happy couple cuts the cake without an announcement to the guests and faces only a friend with a camera. Later the bride’s mother is obviously scolding her and the bride says “Mom! I didn’t know!” 14. The dance music is Karaoke. 15. Not only karaoke, but the groom spends most of the evening singing (okay, he had a good voice kind of like Waylon Jennings) 16. The groom and his friend with a mullet (see, you can’t make this up) sing both the theme from Dukes of Hazzard and Smokey and the Bandit as duets.

Keyboard Kraziness!

sweetiekelly — Sat, 14 Jul 2007 16:24:40 GMT

This week everyone in my office had their computer replaced. That's well over 70 new computers including some that are set up at workstations for everyone to use for specific programs. It's been pretty crazy since starting over with a new computer can be pretty frustrating. You know, you have to set up the Outlook to do things the way you prefer and your favorite screensaver has to be set up and the fonts are all messed up, etc. So one of my co-workers that likes to make me crazy with her strange ideas and OCD tendancies and non-conformity tells me that the delete and insert keys aren't in the right place that she's used to so she's switched those on her keyboard and then set it up with the options for the program that those are used for a LOT. I thought, whatever, it's her computer so I don't care although I know you can retrain your brain pretty quickly to deal with that stuff so I'm leaving mine. So later in the day I am at one of those community computers where I can view information from another department on a state kind of program. First of all, the 5 and the enter key don't work on the 10-keypad and all we ever enter is numbers and I do accounting. Imagine THAT kind of change. We're stuck with this problem...possibly forever. This is progress, mind you. Anyway, I have to call the IT guy to fix so that this computer will print and while he is using that computer I go to the next one that I rarely use (because of the way the desk is set up that doesn't work for a shorty like me.) So what do I discover? The co-worker has flipped THOSE insert and delete keys too! Does that not take a lot of frickin' nerve? So no, I didn't say anything. I'm pretty sure that other people will notice and a rumble will start. I have been in trouble for "harassing" this co-worker before so try to walk on eggshells but come on! End of Rant

Taken to the Cleaners

sweetiekelly — Fri, 13 Jul 2007 03:48:35 GMT

This evening, at Master's request, I stopped at the cleaners to pick up his suits. A lady was ahead of me and I had to wait a few minutes for her to do her drop off. So I'm standing there half day dreaming but also the other half watching and listening. What does she pull out of her bag to have cleaned? Sheets. She said "let me count this to make sure." She had two sheets and 3 pillow cases. That's it. She said "light starch please and can these be delivered tomorrow?" I guess I just had no idea that people bring their sheets to the cleaners. Were these silk or satin? No, just regular white sheets with some fancy decoration on the one top end. Maybe there were those $300.00 high thread count sheets or something. My jaw must have dropped as I watched this. The cleaner clerk said "sure, these can be delivered tomorrow afternoon." The customer said "oh, the morning would be so much better." Again, I was more dumbfounded. Delivered? In the morning? It was almost 4:30 pm as it was. Strange. So actually, tonite as I thought about writing this as a blog, I realized that when I was a little girl my mother took in ironing for extra money. I'm old and in the 60's there was mostly fabrics of natural fiber that needed ironing. My mother's mother-in-law, who was pretty well to do, would give my mom huge baskets to iron. These even included--get this--my grandpas tightie whities! It's true! So I suppose some pretty white sheets having some special care isn't such a strange thing for the year 2007 since it was okay to iron men's underwear in 1967.

The subject of on-line BDSM relationships

sweetiekelly — Mon, 19 Feb 2007 03:43:10 GMT

i've done posted a blog yet, i don't think. Today i wrote something for my journal that is worth sharing as a blog. Generally my journals are too private but this one is more just some thoughts on the subject of on-line relationships. Here it is: The subject of on-line BDSM relationships is something i brought up on a tribe recently and it’s had me thinking about that part of me that was my humble beginnings as a submissive. There is no doubt in my mind that if i had never bought a computer and had never stumbled into people that, to me, seemed to be role playing, then i may not be where i am today. They might have been playing a game but it turns out to be something far more real to many. It was this “role playing” that they were doing that had me so intrigued. It just occurred to me that it’s interesting that when i joined into their chats i immediately identified myself as a submissive. It never hit me until now that it’s interesting that i didn’t identify as a Dominant. Heck, i was running the house and always was aggressive and outspoken in the rest of my life. That’s something to ponder and maybe bring up for discussion. *makes mental note* So part of the discussions on tribe have been that one of the things that happens with people that are only on-line and then move into the big mean real world is that they then have what they believe is a clear picture of what they desire and then when it comes right down to it they really have no idea what the real thing can be. For example, someone who says they love to be whipped and whipped hard and then the first time they have this experience they realize their imagination was higher than their pain threshold. This has been a subject of discussion in the various threads. Are these people a danger to others and to themselves? This sort of thing in reverse where you might have someone who plays on-line that they are a sadist and they’ve got this huge library of fantasies to fulfill in their head and then when it comes down to playing they are dangerous. Sure, they could have read books and read articles but chances are they read a lot of erotic literature and stories that are so far fetched with things that no one would dream of doing in real life that they become a danger to whomever they inflict their fantasy upon. Another thing that’s come up in my mind about these recent threads is the fact that a person can become so involved with someone they have never met in person that their heart is totally with the other person. This happened to me many times years ago. It wasn’t just the BDSM aspect because it happened before that became my bigger focus. Even giving your heart to someone is far easier than you think if it’s not where it’s supposed to be (like with the person you are in a “real” relationship with.) As a little aside here, it feels very good to me to be happy in my life and far more focused on my partner than i was back when this all started with me. i know where my heart is now and it’s in the right place. There was a time when i was done with the on-line thing and had moved into the real world and i became judgmental against those that were on-line. i suppose that i felt better than them or something. That was wrong of me. There is no reason to judge others for what they do to feel fulfilled–even if they get their fulfillment in an imaginary world that is filled with real people. My life would have been a lot different had i not reached out to people on the internet and found this part of me that was always there but didn’t know how to come out and be expressed.