From my very first color pencil memory, this bag has been present - contained within, all the colored pencils that exist in my world.

As I have grown - with all of my many phases - I have opened / sharpened / used / packed / moved / re-examined / ... this set of colored pencils.

There truly has been no 'progress' to show for them; I don't think I've even completed a picture using them! Yet, to this day, I have this bag with all the colored pencils of my existence contained within.

Too bad I will never know where it came from.

I guess it's time. I've had three people tag me. I'm not going to spell check this though, just so I can rebel. hehehe

1) I love laughter. If someone makes me smile and giggle, I'll spend all day following them around doing crappy chores.

2) My sister and I are very close. I moved to be 13 blocks from her, and we see each other often. Spending time with each other is as good as alone time, but with someone to say "look at this" to every now and then.

3) My body and I don't get along. It's muscles do dumb things and cause pain, and it annoys the hell out of me. I used to be really upset that there are things I can no longer to such as ski or swim, but now I'm learning how to still have fun and not get down on myself for it.

4) I think that the sweetest kiss is one placed on the 'third eye'.

5) Foot rubs are romantic. Especially given to someone who has been working all day without mention that they may not smell like roses.

6) I wanted to be part of big cat rescue. Plan 'A' was in Africa and working with the wild cats, plan 'B' was a rescue facility here in the states for cats that people had tried to have as pets. Now, I work in escrow behind a desk.

7) I'm thinking of buying a house, but the thought of doing it alone makes me lonely.

8) I love Portland. It is amazingly beautiful, but the weather makes me crawl into a hole for 8 months out of every year. At some point in my life, I owe it to myself to leave Oregon. :-(

I believe that people are animals, and as such, still have our instincts. We have 'evolved' far from them in many aspects, but they also control our primary needs and desires. We all seek home, love, like beings to be with... and in the forefront often times, we seek mates.

What makes someone an acceptable mate can be very hard to pin down and define. We are drawn to people that we can not explain in rational ways. There is a spark, a chemical inside of us that pulls us towards someone. I believe that as an animal, our primary goal is to seek out a suitable mate and procreate. Often times it is lust full, at least to some degree. The object of your desire may not be what you want in the 'real world', but there is something very primal that makes you want to 'romp in the woods' with them, so to speak.

In nature, this would be our mate. In current times, it usually is not so. Now that we have become so disconnected with what our bodies are telling us, we let it go; we have complicated our lives too much for that to be enough. Now that food, shelter, water and warmth are supposed to be a given, and usually easy to come by, we concern ourselves with clothes, money, cars, and houses that are too large to possibly be home. We look for a mate that has a career, nice things, perhaps some good contacts. We have such high standards in things that really, at least in my opinion, don't mean shit.

I wonder, if we did not have so many possessions and worldly gains to be had, would we be choosing different mates? Would we choose the person who drives our animalistic bodies crazy without the concern of how it will affect our social standard? Perhaps if there were no jobs and concerns of money, we could all go back to finding that mate that just FEELS right.

Often times people will cheat on the one they have chosen for a partner to feel that spark again - no ties, responsibilities or strings attached, just to have that primal blood run through our veins. Open relationships are becoming a trend! I personally find it sad, and rather appalling. I understand the confusion though. How do we balance both? Is it possible to keep the instincts, and live in this world the way that it is, and have a life partner? I fear that all the chaos that we have created by 'getting better', and being the highest on the food chain, is ruining our animal side - the part that wants to breed, protect, and die. What's wrong with wanting to live so simple? And more to the point, is there any way to back track so that it CAN be that simple again?

I just got my vacation request back, and I got the time off! In my company everyone has to request their vacation time in January for the entire year, but it isn't confirmed until the beginning of February. I was nervous because my manager said that to be fair to everyone else she didn't want to give me all that time in the middle of the summer. I begged, and I got it!! This will be my first year. Wish me luck!

*sigh* Perhaps in my next life I'll get to play with the big kitties.