In October [2006], I had a "Friday the 13th" themed party. It was a small affair - nine close friends came over, and we had a really good time. Around 3AM, when everyone was about to take off, I threw some fireballs around. This is something I've done forever - flash paper, or nitrocellulose, is made from dipping cotton tissue paper in nitric & sulfuric acid. This transforms the cotton into a combustible material, so you have pretty yellow balls of fire that burn into nothing - no ash. You sprinkle a little ultra-fine powdered magnesium, and you get sparkles. Powdered magnesium is less safe than nitrocellulose, as it burns white-friggin-hot.

Unfortunately, I bought a ton of powdered magnesium many years ago. More than I could ever use in 50 lifetimes (it was the smallest quantity that the chemical supply place would sell, and I never disposed of the extra). Picture a standard red brick - I had about a brick and a half of the stuff. Anyway, one of my fireballs landed on the bag of magnesium. This produced a giant ball of white light that would probably vaporize anything that came near it. We threw water on it, which only spread the stuff around. The house quickly started to blaze, but we all got out unscathed. Then I realized my cats were probably still in the house, and I went back in. The flames prevented me from accessing the bedroom, but the bedroom door was open - I had to assume the kitties had gotten out. On my way out of the house, I found myself removing my clothing as quickly as possible. That is to say - my body was acting before my mind knew what was happening. About the time I had completed stripping, I realized that my clothing must have been on fire. "Whew!" I thought - glad I got that stuff off quickly. Then I returned to the "crap, my house is burning down & I don't know where my kitties are" state of mind.

Five minutes later, a friend held my hand to comfort me. It felt wet - something was wrong. I held my hand in front of my face to find something straight out of a horror movie. 80% of the hand had no skin whatsoever - just bloody muscle-y looking stuff with curly french-fries of skin peeled away in every direction. In a very calm state (shock), I thought to myself "Uh oh. I'm really, really messed up." Then my friend got the first look at me (it was very dark). I saw her face freeze - I was pretty sure that she was freaking out inside & repressing a terrified expression. Apparently, my face was badly burnt as well.

Soon, the fire truck & ambulance showed. On the ride to the hospital, I begged the EMT to tell it to me straight - "am I permanently disfigured?" Yes, he said. His reply required no pause for thought.

In the hospital, I was put on a breathing machine & knocked out, then shipped to intensive care at the burn center in Sacramento. The next day, I woke up with the doctors discussing whether to remove the breathing machine - they were afraid my throat may swell & they'd need to do a tracheotomy. Eventually they decided to take it out (after shoving a tube-within-a-tube down into my lungs [which made me convulse] and sucked out a ton of black soot.)

Long story short: I was in the hospital for a week, and healed very, very rapidly. Apparently, the EMT misjudged my facial wounds - when he saw it, my face was completely black except where the skin was pealed off (about 30% of my face) - so I imagine all he could see was soot & blood - must have looked a lot worse until they cleaned it. Now, I'm out in the world and doing fine. My face looks totally normal. My neck, hands, forearms & chest are still a little scabby, but are all going to heal, probably without a single scar! (For a while, they thought they may have to graft skin on my left hand - that would have permanently made it look all scarred up).

I am so very, very grateful. As a result of this experience, I'm very aware that what matters most in life are the bonds I have with my friends and family.

Life is good,
Keith

- Cats were saved by firemen & treated for carbon monoxide poisoning at the hospital
- No structural damage to the cottage! Just a ton of smoke damage, floor damage, and repairs needed for the backyard deck. It will be "live-able" (but ugly) any day now.