When is it time to hang up your hat?

taelron — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 08:42:08 GMT

Alright, so here we are again… Not relationship stuff this time, you can all breathe a sigh of relief… As most of you know I was in the Marines for a little over 8 years(90-99). Most of it in the Infantry, all of it in Tactical Roles… What some of you already know, though most do not is, that I’m actually a disabled Vet. I know I don’t look handicapped… But what almost no one see’s is exactly the number of pain management medications I am “suppose” to be on. Mainly I only take the meds when I absolutely have to so as to spare my liver and kidney as much as possible. You learn to live with a certain degree of pain. Without going into too much detail the quick rundown is: • Shot twice, one bullet still in me near my spine • Two knife wounds • Punctured lung • Four crushed disc’s (2 neck, 1 upper, 1 lower back) • Pinched sciatic nerve down the left leg • Impinged hip • Blown knee (3 times no cartilage left) • Crushed and warped shoulder joint • 50% nerve loss to one arm • 75% nerve loss to one hand • Shrapnel in about 20% of my body including my face and the upper right half of my body. Suffice to say, metal detectors are fun… A couple of years ago people started noticing my voice gets raspy quite often, especially in the morning. I even have been losing my voice with alarming regularity over the past couple of years. Three to four times a year on average and each time lasting a month or more. A year ago I notified the V.A. there is a problem and they started running their tests… MRI’s, CT scans, X-rays, bronchoscopy (camera up my noise, down my throat, and into my lungs), visual inspections, just about name it at this point. In my medical record it’s stated I do not have any allergies. Approximately eight different doctors have looked at me at this point. All but one realizes something is wrong and a couple of them have a few ideas and agreed with each other. Sounds good right? Wrong, the problem appears to be the one hold out is also the specialist. The ENT (Ear Nose Throat) doctor, he’s an older gentleman that contracts to the V.A. and is a professor at Stanford University. You would think that all his experience would be a good thing. Sadly at this point it’s becoming a hindrance. He’s decided that it’s probably an allergic reaction to something. Yet I’ve never had an allergy in my life. I was just getting over a cold the day I was in there, had a fever the day before of 102. I explained to him my sniffling was because I was congested with the same flu that’s hitting everyone lately. He ignored everything I said. He also had to have his nurse come in to work the computer. He couldn’t figure it out. So now this leaves me wonder, were my scans all clean or does not know how to read them properly on the computer? In some of the notes the other doctors noted minor deviations from what they expect from a normal test or scan. Yet this doctor dismissed all of their comments saying they are simply mistaken. During the bronchoscopy there were three doctors, three nurses and two 3rd year medical students from Stanford in the room and watching the monitors. Apparently all three of those doctors were wrong. They claimed they saw polyps or cysts on my vocal cords… Which could explain the blood I keep finding in my spit and phlegm. The Barium swallow team saw in issue, some sort of leak, in my throat, allowing fluid to leak into my lungs. But that’s apparently nothing as well. What’s the doctor’s prognosis at this point? Since the V.A. in California won’t do allergy testing, it must be allergies and put me on a broad spectrum of asthma and allergy medication. Pills, inhalers, nose sprays… Thirty days worth and then I have to return for a final consultation with him before being returned to my General Practitioner. In the four times I have seen this guy in the past year, he has noted my vocal cords are red and irritated, yet this last time, while I have the flu and am coughing my brains out he says everything is fine. Two weeks later taking this additional barrage of medication along with my normal pain control meds I don’t feel any different and I lost my voice again… Two more weeks till I see the doctor again, at this point I am actually hoping my voice doesn’t return by then just so he can see he was wrong yet again. Maybe this time he will actually read my medical record where it shows I have been tested and had no known allergies. Maybe he will listen to me and read the notes in my file that detail what I use to do, what I use to work around, and the situations I have been in… But I’m not crossing my fingers on that one just yet. At about this point, if I am dropped back to my GP I am going to petition the V.A. to refer me out to a civilian hospital. Of course to get that and get them to pay for it could take another year or two… I understand wisdom comes from years in your field. But eventually, and this happens to all of us, our chosen field grows beyond us… And at that point we need to consider if it’s time to retire or actually start listening to our younger colleagues input instead of dismissing everything they say outright because we are older and "wiser". Especially when you can’t even operate the new tools of your profession... Well it’s time for this old geriatric to go take all 9 of his medications now… I would get a pill reminder tray but the sprays and inhaler won’t fit in it lol. And people still wonder why I drink at faire so hard…

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When is it time to hang up your hat?