Show at DROM (SharQui's Night of Stars)

So the DROM show went really really well. In addition to being a fabulous dancer, choreographer and teacher, Oreet (sharqui.com) is some kind of promotional genius. She packed the place. And it was a truly lovely crowd.

And the talent was stand-out..... [Please go to tandavadance.blogspot.com/2008/...m.html for the full entry]

Gauging the Greenshift

A friend recently sent me a NY Times article, "Can Burt's Bees Turn Clorox Green (www.nytimes.com/2008/01/06...06bees.html "), about this true, honest-to-God, home-grown, mom'n'pop enterprise.... that developed into a company worth $913 million -- at least to Clorox, which purchased it last November.

Like Ben & Jerrys, Tom's of Maine and other eponymous leafy green companies (also bought out by ....

[please go to tandavadance.blogspot.com for the full entry]

Dark Knight of the ROTFLMAO

OK... I can't resist.

A friend send me this link and now I'm obsessed -- at least until I've posted it and then can get on with my life.

Behold -- The Dark Knight: 1966 Style:
[please visit my blogspot for the full entry, videos, etc.---> tandavadance.blogspot.com ]

Back from Dumbekistan

Five days gone and I'm finally recovered from Raquy's Fabulous Winter Retreat.

I mean, she doesn't beat us or anything (at least not in any way that we don't want), but wow what a workout!

We had a very small group this time... maybe about fifteen people. But all of us were intermediate to advanced, so she gave us Jehan to learn -- one of the finger-bending solos on her recent CD, Naked.

The other students didn't seem to have a hard time with it, but I struggled...

[Please go to my new blog to read the rest ----> tandavadance.blogspot.com/ Thanks!]

Head Injury

Since I don't really want to talk about this anymore (and since I had just written a more detailed entry which got eaten by Tribe), I'm pasting in a post I put on a community bulletin board for those who are curious. Apologies for the unfamiliar references.

***
Last Saturday, at about 7:15pm, while I was walking along the Navy
Street bike path towards the B61 bus stop, a group of kids on the
pedestrian overpass threw what may have been a bottle at me.

I felt the object shatter against my head and heard them yell, "White
b**tch!!" and laugh when I looked back at them.

I stumbled away too quickly to get a look at the fragments on the
ground and called 911 immediately and told them that I had been
attacked by young people who were throwing objects down at passers
by.

I felt blood in my hair and realized that my scalp had a large gash
in it and asked for an ambulance.

Police cars and an ambulance showed up at the bus stop at Park and
Navy within 5 minutes. I explained the incident to an officer, who
did not give me his name, though I gave him my information.

He asked what had hit me, and I didn't know because I wanted to get
away. But I said he could probably still find pieces of it on the
street. He did not give any indication that he was going to
investigate the matter further.

Anyway, the EMT took me to the Brooklyn Hospital ER where the
laceration was stapled together.

Healthwise, I'm OK at this point -- though I'm still pretty shaken up
about this incident, and am hoping that this group of kids hasn't
taken up the hobby of using cars, bikers, pedestrians, etc. as target
practice.

I had hoped that I'd learn more about whether or not the police found
these kids and at least talked to them, but when I called the 88th
Precinct today, I learned that no crime report had even been created
for this assault!!

There was only an "Aided Card", which simply showed that I
had been injured and aided by EMT.

In other words, I might have just tripped and fallen, as far as the
City is concerned.

***
Unfortunately, this is an all too common trend in neighborhoods like mine where the neighborhood is gentrifying, and that is actively seeking development. To make the area appear more attractive, the NYPD artificially lowers the crime statistic by inaccurately reporting complaints and incidents.

For more info about this, see www.nydailynews.com/news/cri...t_-1.html

So that's the story.

As mentioned above, I'd prefer not to go over the above again, but feel free to ask questions about stuff I didn't cover. And, for the morbidly curious, I'll have the staples in through Monday. :->

In all of this, I have to say how apprciative -- indeed how touched -- I've been by the warmth and concern of my family and friends. I'm very thankful for that, and for the knowledge that, as bad as this was, it could have been a lot worse.

Lots of love and best holiday wishes!

C

the morning so far........

(1) Yay -- snow!!! Well ... it's really more like pelting ice fragments, but it's whitish and sticking to the ground. So -- yay, snow!!

(2) Getting off the subway at Rockefeller Center: I stopped by Dunkin Donuts for my favorite morning guilty pleasure: a medium coffee with skim milk and a biscuit.

Yes, I know the biscuit cancels our any calorie savings from the skim milk -- and, in fact, these days I've been taking whole or 2% milk more often. But at this particular DD counter, my tongue is programmed to say, "Medium coffee with skim milk, and a biscuit, please."

And 10 times out of 10, they will produce my unsweetened beverage on command -- WITHOUT the biscuit. And I have to repeat the words "and a biscuit" about six times as the counter-jockey points to various bakery items, none of the names of which remotely resemble the word "biscuit."

Today I pointed to the sad little pastry, sitting alone in its bin and said, "You see that there? Pick it up and put it in a bag."

And in spite of my attitudinous sneer, the woman behind the counter cheerfully picked it up and put it in a bag.

It is worth noting that no one behind the counter speaks English as a first language -- in particular, New York English. So not only are they incapable of deciphering words like biscuit; they can't quite decipher the harsh tones of contempt.

And maybe that's not a bad thing.... for either of us.

(3) Getting to my cubicle: An office mate is bitching about jury duty -- in particular because he has been summoned to FEDERAL court -- which sucks for him since he lives in Queens and the Southern District Courthouse is in Brooklyn.

Granted, there are many understandable reasons he doesn't want to serve -- not the least of which is that he's a contractor and wouldn't be paid for his time at court.

But he just couldn't stop going on about the FEDERAL Court thing -- even to the point of, oh, say, questioning the innocence of any defendant he might be brought to judge there.

"I mean, it's ridiculous!" he ranted, "I mean, it's FEDERAL Court, right? I mean, that's a big deal, right? The guy would HAVE to be guilty, right???"

?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Conspiracy!!!

There is a thief in my house!!

And it has four legs and a tail (three times over).

I've always suspected that my darling felines were capable of the most dastardly intrigue -- and last night's well-orchestrated heist proves it!

I was eating my $35 Japonica sashimi dinner in front of "Rome" when my laptop started beeping. Foolishly leaving several fat pieces of salmon and yellowtail on the TV table, I checked out the laptop a few feet away.

Surprisingly, my little cat-children didn't seem too interested in the abandoned fish-booty and instead focused their attention on me.

In particular, Chloe -- the eldest -- sat on the desk next to the laptop, insisting I pet her (which is unusual behavior for her).

Simon -- the middle one -- jumped on my lap, which is not unusual, except that he rarely challenges Chloe for my attention.

So both hands were full with fuzz and laptop troubleshooting.

Through all this, I tried to keep an eye on my dinner, but it didn't seem worth it since two cats were directly in front of me, and the third -- Julietta, the youngest -- wasn't even in the room.

Or so I thought!!

About ten minutes later, Chloe and Simon -- in spite of what seemed to be their purrgasmic indulgence in my attention -- suddenly picked up and left!!

I just kept working since this didn't seem significant... until I heard a muffled THUMP from the kitchen.

And there I found them -- lapping up the shredded remains of my overpriced yellowtail sashimi, licking their sated chops in self-congratulation.

Of course I told them what bad kitties they were, and that they were lucky they didn't steal a piece soaked in soy and wasabi...

But in the end, stolen sashimi notwithstanding... I must admit a certain respect for a well executed plan.

I envision them in a little fuzzy huddle, conspiring when I first opened the dinner box: (1) They know they won't have any luck begging food from me directly. (2) Their only chance is to lure me away from the food, grab a piece and squirrel it out of sight.

Hmmm.... I envision them drawing up little maps and diagrams on the carpet, solidifying their crafty plan... Do you suppose they somehow managed to make the laptop beep?!?!?

I wouldn't be at all surprised..............

"Why Women Aren't Funny" -- Response to Vanity Fair Article

I sent the below response to the VF editor regarding Christopher Hitchens' ridiculous (and ridiculously offensive) article about women's purported impairment in the humor department.

Feel free to read the full logohrreic text here: www.vanityfair.com/culture/...ns200701, but he basically says that the female focus on reproduction (which is, "if not the only thing, certainly the main thing" -- can you believe it?!?!) apparently disables our ability to see life as funny, and therefore generate humor.

And so we need men to take up our comedic slack (he says), and so humor becomes part of the male mating ritual (because women *always* swoon for the life of the party instead of the brooding hotties nearby, right?!?).

Anyway. While there may actually be some scant basis for his theory, it's written in such a smarmy, self-contradictory way that it's not even worth refuting (hence my reference to the Chewbacca Defense: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chewbacca_defense)

(This style, by the way, is much better applied in Hitchens' also ridiculous, but entertaining, dissertation on the blow job www.vanityfair.com/culture/...ens200607

But I did take exception to his twisting the one factual basis for his argument, so I focused on that.

I doubt they'll print it since I sent it in so late, but I think it's worth a read anyway.

*******
Although Christopher Hitchens hangs much of his Chewbacca Defense-style argument on the Stanford School of Medicine study which found, he claims, that women are "[s]lower to get [humor], more pleased when they do, ...swift to locate the unfunny," and therefore "backward in generating [humor]."

Except that it doesn't.

The study actually found that the male and female response times were similar, as was their appreciation of the cartoons' funniness. And while the women were "more pleased" by funny cartoons, the researchers theorized that this was because women didn't expect each cartoon to be funny. Indeed, many unfunny cartoons were included (which the men didn't enjoy either, by the way); the women apparently figured this out and were therefore pleasantly surprised by the humorous ones.

Further, since this report used cartoons -- manufactured humor -- it cannot bear any relation to the participants' ability to perceive or appreciate "that life ... is a joke."

Left undistorted, this study does more to refute Hitchens' claims. It is no wonder that he must retreat to the 19th century sensibilities of Rudyard "White Man's Burden" Kipling to support his absurd retro-radical position.

American Express Nightmare

I've told bits of this story to many of you, but here's the whole thing -- in letter form to the head of the AmEx Customer Service Department. (Names and numbers have, of course, been redacted).

Please let me know if anything is unclear, as I don't plan to send this letter until tomorrow (Thurs, 2/1).

Enjoy!

*******
Dear Ms. Jones:

I have been an American Express Member for nearly 17 years and have always been satisfied with your Customer Service.

Last year, however, several incidents occurred with your representatives which have caused me considerable distress and inconvenience over several months – continuing even to today!

My card for account number 3728 XXXXX expired in May 2006. Per usual, I received an envelope containing a replacement card during that month.

Unfortunately, that envelope did not contain my card! rather, I was sent a card for a Jane L Smith (3728 XXXX)!!! (See attached photocopy). I called American Express immediately and informed the representative of the mistake.

Not only was this representative unconcerned, she began to explain that “Jane L Smith was not on [my] account.” I reiterated that American Express had sent me the wrong card! I gave her Ms. Smith’s account number and she finally said, “Ah, yes, I’m seeing a Jane Smith under that number.”

I told her that both my and Ms. Smith’s account numbers should be changed since, in our age of rampant identity theft, this was a severe breach of security for me and Ms. Smith: If I had received Ms. Smith’s card, then she or someone else must have mine.

She argued again that this wasn't a problem because the cards would have to be activated before they could be used.

I explained that (1) the card could still be processed with a mechanical device, and (2) anyone who had received my replacement card could easily figure out the expiration date of my current card and charge transactions over the internet or telephone.

At that point, the representative HUNG UP ON ME!!

I called back and demanded to speak to a manager. The manager seemed to understand the problem and apologized for the other representative’s behavior. She canceled my card and and agreed to overnight a new card to me.

Since the manager seemed to be knowledgeable, I also mentioned that even though I had upgraded to a Rewards card a few months before, I never received a replacement card reflecting the upgrade.

In particular, I had noticed when buying tickets online with a friend who had a Rewards card, that his Customer Service number (800-867-5309) yielded much better tickets than the non-Rewards number (800-555-1212) on my card. So I wanted the card that said "Rewards" (as my friend's did), with the upgraded Customer Service number.

The manager explained that my account had had Rewards “added” but was not actually a "Rewards Card." I didn’t really understand what that meant, but was so tired, as these conversations took place around 1 or 2am, that I just agreed to have additional fee added to my account to make it a full “Rewards Card.”

The manager told me that, in addition to the replacement card being mailed out immediately, I’d receive a full “Rewards Card” a few weeks later. She assured me that the Rewards Card would have the same account number as the replacement card – which was very important to me as I would have to update all of my online payees with the new number and I did not want to do that twice.

The new card arrived – although three days later, not overnight – and I used it until the new Rewards Card arrived in early July.

But the new Rewards Card was identical to the card it was replacing!! I had noticed that the Rewards Customer Service number (800-867-5309) had begun to appear on my statements, but the number on the back of my new card was still 800-555-1212.

I called American Express again and explained the situation. I asked them to please, please, please send me the proper Rewards Card, but without changing my account number.

And without my knowledge or consent they canceled my card!!!

This, needless to say, caused me a lot of embarrassment when I tried to use the card at a restaurant a few days later!

I called Customer Service once again and told the representative that I wanted to cancel my account altogether. When she asked why, I told her the whole ugly story. She apologized profusely and asked if a $20 credit to my account would help me to reconsider.

I agreed and asked if the replacement of the replacement would finally have the correct appearance and Customer Service number.

She didn’t seem to understand what I was talking about and put me on hold for several minutes. She finally returned saying that my friend “must have the Rewards Plus” card (he doesn’t, by the way), which would cost me some ridiculous upgrade fee. So I asked her to just send me some literature about this “Rewards Plus” card and I’d make a decision at another time.

I received yet another card in the mail (3728 XXXXXX) – that had, to my dismay, a NEW ACCOUNT NUMBER! Yet it otherwise looked identical to all the previous cards and still had the wrong Customer Service number.

I never received any literature about the “Rewards Plus” card.

At that point I just gave up.

For the past several months, I’ve put the situation behind me, figuring that another attempt to correct this situation would just cause more trouble for me.

Unfortunately, now that I am figuring out my 2006 expenses, I’m realizing that these multiple accounts have wrought havoc on my Quicken downloads. I now have two months of duplicate transaction downloads which will take hours to sort through.

Your website claims that the “hallmarks of the American Express brand [are] trust, integrity, security, quality, customer service” – yet your representatives apparently have no regard for these "hallmarks" or for the customers who rely on them

Can you give me any explanation as to why your Customer Service has been so thoroughly, uniformly, inexcusably abysmal? Can you give any reassurance whatsoever that this will not happen again?

Thank you for your time and attention.

Two Things

Unrelated, but what they hey.....

1) A friend called me yesterday with a Microsoft Word problem after having yanked out several handfuls of hair wading through Word's completely useless Help menus. She said, "It's like you're drowning and they throw you a parachute!!"

2) My new favorite word is "thaumaturgical," which means "of or relating to magic or miracle working." ("Thauma" is Greek for "wonder" and "ergon" is Greek for "work").

I came across it a few weeks ago in a New York Times article called "What's Wrong With Cinderella?" (see www.nytimes.com/2006/12/24...cess.t.html )

It comes up about two-thirds through, where the author says that princesses (especially those with magical -- i.e. thaumaturgical -- powers at their disposal) have tended to become more popular during depressed times ...like the 30s, the 70s, early 90s and our current war-torn decade.