My Blah-g

Bay Area Clowning Jam

Tankboy — Sat, 28 Jun 2008 19:57:54 GMT

So, I want to start a social training party thing....for us clowns! The idea is to make a regular social get together, in the spirit of clowning. To practice, play, do drills, put together acts, clown around, and just hang out, and have a good time. So i am turning to you, the clowning community, for some input. 1. How often do you think it should be? monthly? semi-monthly? weekly? 2. Where should it be held? I can probably find space for it in the Vulcan, but i wonder if that is the best venue for it, it might be nice to have it where people can venture out and interact with an impromptu "audience" aka, people on the street. 3. When should we have the first one? Lemme know!

Ramblings....

Tankboy — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 21:22:02 GMT

sometimes i write whole blogs, with deep insites, or funny anecdotes. sometimes long, sometimes short. almost daily i write poems in my blog.... and then for whatever reason, i decide not to post them, and i click the home button. i dont know why. only that.

When life gives you lemons

Tankboy — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 22:10:52 GMT

accidently squeeze them in your eye! Here are some more clowning videos that i have enjoyed. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OuN_g0GyQ1U http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1h9Ne3BU9eU http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lk5eaFUXdvM and this last one just because the girl has an amazing clown voice. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H3djCo8KJKA

A video that every performer should watch

Tankboy — Sat, 07 Jun 2008 22:55:42 GMT

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g1xAnlo5rd0 That video made me LAUGH! it also made me cry a little! <3 Hope you enjoy

Have you ever...

Tankboy — Sat, 07 Jun 2008 21:13:17 GMT

killed a house fly with a hand grenade? me neither. -Tankboy

Sometimes

Tankboy — Sat, 07 Jun 2008 00:43:54 GMT

I think about if i had a nuke at my disposal. What would i do? What would i do? for a long time i would have never used it, ever. i would have thought that the devistation would be morally wrong, that there would be suffering.... now i think i would nuke somewhere, anywhere, maybe right here. This world is far too over populated, and growth always comes with pain. Maybe the earth would heal from all the suffering. Good thing i dont have a nuke. -Tankboy

Buying food for your village.

Tankboy — Mon, 26 May 2008 19:24:58 GMT

So, when you go to the man at the store, and ask him for a big bag of rice. You give him money, he gives you a huge bag. After carting it home, you open the bag only to find that it is full of rocks. So you cart the bag back to the store, and tell the clerk what happened. He says "You're crazy! You said you wanted a bag of rocks, you wanted rice, thats fine, here you go." And hands you another bag. You cart it home, a little bit confused. Pull out your handy dandy switchblade, and slit it open, to see little grey pebbles spill out onto the table. God damn it. So you haul your ass back to the store. You are a bit pissed at this point, and not in the sloshed kind of way. You tell the clerk to stop jerking you around. He responds, seemingly offended "I gave you rice the first time, you came back and said you wanted pebbles, now you want rice again? Here, have some rice, but if you come back asking for pebbles, Im not going to exchange them. At home, boiled pebbles crack your teeth. And so this continues for a year and a half, or two years. At what point do you call the man the wanker he is, restore your faith in your perception, and realize that hes lying, hes always been lying, and hes never gonna give you a god damn bag of rice.

Time ticks by

Tankboy — Tue, 13 May 2008 22:43:08 GMT

and still I try to wash these stains from my soul. Conditioning of the heart is always most difficult when spoken through uncrossed fingers and finger crossing can seem an innocent gesture and uncrossing a bladeless shank for truth lies in what we see not what we wish we saw and lies truely lie in empty hollows of mind where they echo for some time and in fields of daisys. ------------------ It is easy to exist as self when self is isolated in abyss. but self is incomplete when existing in isolation. ones self is no greater or no less than ones location, place, purpose in the physical, in the mental, and in the spiritual. Much Love. Walk in peace.

Clowns live forever!

Tankboy — Thu, 08 May 2008 20:05:28 GMT

So, I auditioned for the clown conservatory today. Its the general circus and clowning training program that i have been wanting to get into for some time now. So, I went into my audition, talked with Jeff Raz, the Director and founder of the program, did my little routine for him, he had me try to make him fall in love with a chair, but only by saying the letters of the alphabet. So after all of that and some more chit chat, he told me i was accepted! :-D So starting in september, i have 18 hours of class a week plus 20 hours of homework, thats 38 hours of circus training a week!!!!! Oh boy! Im excited to say the least. See you guys under the big top.

Pretty Pictures!

Tankboy — Sat, 26 Jan 2008 01:44:28 GMT

I know most of you have already seen it, but here is a video, filmed at our new place, incase you havent http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=X725VBR5vh8 Enjoy!

FUCK RON PAUL!!!!

Tankboy — Sun, 16 Dec 2007 03:59:19 GMT

okay, this has been bugging me for a very long time, but after seeing a couple of posts recently, i just have to get it off my chest.... FUCK RON PAUL!!! HE IS A LIAR!!! A HACK!!! AND IS BAD FOR AMERICA!!! you cant be a libertarian and a conservative at the same time, if you are laissez-faire, but socially conservative, then you are just a fucking conservative!!!! ok, so hes against the war on iraq, hes also for big military spending, anti gay, anti abortion, tough on immigration, hes a fucking neocon in sheeps clothing! from his website: "Border Security and Immigration Reform The talk must stop. We must secure our borders now. A nation without secure borders is no nation at all. It makes no sense to fight terrorists abroad when our own front door is left unlocked. This is my six point plan: Physically secure our borders and coastlines. We must do whatever it takes to control entry into our country before we undertake complicated immigration reform proposals. Enforce visa rules. Immigration officials must track visa holders and deport anyone who overstays their visa or otherwise violates U.S. law. This is especially important when we recall that a number of 9/11 terrorists had expired visas. No amnesty. Estimates suggest that 10 to 20 million people are in our country illegally. That’s a lot of people to reward for breaking our laws. No welfare for illegal aliens. Americans have welcomed immigrants who seek opportunity, work hard, and play by the rules. But taxpayers should not pay for illegal immigrants who use hospitals, clinics, schools, roads, and social services. End birthright citizenship. As long as illegal immigrants know their children born here will be citizens, the incentive to enter the U.S. illegally will remain strong. Pass true immigration reform. The current system is incoherent and unfair. But current reform proposals would allow up to 60 million more immigrants into our country, according to the Heritage Foundation. This is insanity. Legal immigrants from all countries should face the same rules and waiting periods. Border Security and Immigration Reform The talk must stop. We must secure our borders now. A nation without secure borders is no nation at all. It makes no sense to fight terrorists abroad when our own front door is left unlocked. This is my six point plan: Physically secure our borders and coastlines. We must do whatever it takes to control entry into our country before we undertake complicated immigration reform proposals. Enforce visa rules. Immigration officials must track visa holders and deport anyone who overstays their visa or otherwise violates U.S. law. This is especially important when we recall that a number of 9/11 terrorists had expired visas. No amnesty. Estimates suggest that 10 to 20 million people are in our country illegally. That’s a lot of people to reward for breaking our laws. No welfare for illegal aliens. Americans have welcomed immigrants who seek opportunity, work hard, and play by the rules. But taxpayers should not pay for illegal immigrants who use hospitals, clinics, schools, roads, and social services. End birthright citizenship. As long as illegal immigrants know their children born here will be citizens, the incentive to enter the U.S. illegally will remain strong. Pass true immigration reform. The current system is incoherent and unfair. But current reform proposals would allow up to 60 million more immigrants into our country, according to the Heritage Foundation. This is insanity. Legal immigrants from all countries should face the same rules and waiting periods. " "Life and Liberty The right of an innocent, unborn child to life is at the heart of the American ideals of liberty. My professional and legislative record demonstrates my strong commitment to this pro-life principle" theres more, i just wont bog you down with it, but by definition if he were a libertarian, he would be pro choice. hes just not a good choice, he wont win, so it doesnt matter, but people are so intvested in getting out of iraq that they forget the biggest issue that the bush administration has neglected, our domestic policy. he is just another redneck running for the presidency, and i dont understand why other people dont see it.

Work it harder, make it better, move it faster, makes us stronger

Tankboy — Wed, 26 Sep 2007 03:09:41 GMT

I know i got to be right now Kuz i cant wait much longer Iv been waiting all night now thats how long iv been on ya As the times shift, and a new home is found, the dawn of a new age shines its rays of light upon my life. but i am forever reminded, "our work is never over" i have to work harder than i have ever before in my life, to build the life that i want, to build a life with my love, to ensure that our relationship remains strong through everything, to build my career, to make connections that will aid my career in the future, to make the connections that will aid my soul in the now and future. i have seen first hand what it takes here to acheive some amount of greatness......i cant imagine what work went into that.....but now i know how much work must go into becoming me.....and to building a life for lily and myself. i remind myself to stay strong, through it all, and that the greatest challenge is overcoming myself. thank you all for your support through the time you have all known me, i wont forget you, in fact, i have nothing but love for all of my friends :-) and thank you hunny, for all your support, for pushing me, even when its been hard on both of us, you make me bettuh, i love you. walk in peace.

Im happy.

Tankboy — Sat, 04 Aug 2007 15:55:43 GMT

I just want to say it, i want to be proud of it. My life feels like its full of possibilities, i have goals to work towards, but most of all, Lily and i are better than ever. i feel like we have had a number of breakthroughs in our relationship as of late, and dispite other things that have brought me down in the past...im happy. and i feel selfish, because im not surrounded by anyone right now, and i want to share this energy. its been a long time since iv been able to share energy like this, i mean, i do all the time with lily, but i want us to be surrounded by people to feed off of our energy, maybe we can release it like a starburst at burning man....that would be really fun!

Stand strong...

Tankboy — Sat, 04 Aug 2007 11:04:21 GMT

when you feel like you are about to break. you are far more resilient than you ever imagined. This blog is dedicated to my selfs of past and future, my selfs that walk in other bodies, and drift through other minds. Presently i have the luxury of being able to sit softly, and watch the wind rustle the trees. actually, its pretty calm outside, utterly motionless would be a good way to describe it, i guess this is what they mean when they say the calm after the storm. i think lightning hit my house last night, i was seeing flashes in my periferal vision for the rest of the night. Im sick of playing the jet lag game....im not making any progress, so im going to try to stay up all day today, hopefully that will "reset" my biological clock. i guess "biological clock" should have quotes too. birds twitter outside the window, not the beautiful songs i feel in my heart, but shrill calls to one another, perhaps from hatchling to mother. i just strolled through a forum i used to frequent, for a band that i was rather into...its interesting, mostly new members, a few old timers...we used to live on that forum...but your life cant be someone elses bands forum, i mean, we had to move on sometimes....and sometimes i feel like i owe that community something, like i should give back, i mean, they saved my life, but i dont even know if iv really come far enough to have much to offer...maybe ill brigade next time they are in san francisco... im sweating, at 7 am in my parents house...the sun is barely up, and i cant bear the humidity...i guess hawaii did make me soft. click. buzz. ahhh! air conditioning. A thought: I would really like to be a part of vau de vire.....but i dont know if im good enough.....STOP IT! iv always been a tough critic of myself...but i think thats a good thing...but i honestly dont know. /end stream of conciousness. namaste.

sweet delerium

Tankboy — Thu, 02 Aug 2007 11:35:45 GMT

so its 7:30 am eastern, where i sit in my parents kitchen on their computer, its 1:30 maui time, i had a 6 am run, which is the first time i have really worked out in quite some time (not counting laps and aquarobics) and it felt pretty good on the 9th we fly to sf, and begin our new life there, its kinda scary, then we fly to vegas, to meet lily's dad for burning man, yeah, lilys dad is coming to burning man! then we drive back to vegas, fly to north carolina, buy a car, fill it with shit, then drive lola back to sf with us, making a few key stops along the way. once we arrive in sf half way through september we can finally get jobs again, i never thought id say that, but im really excited to start building there....being back east gives me a little bit of nostalgia for the north east...who am i kidding, a shit ton....but its definately not screaming "home" right now. and you know what the best part of all of this is? i dont care about any of it, because im happy, and we are in love, and nothing can bring me down from that high. thanks for listening, we now return you to your regularly scheduled tribe posts.

Quest for knowlede that i once knew.

Tankboy — Wed, 27 Jun 2007 01:15:03 GMT

So recently iv been doing a lot of thinking, mostly about how in love i am...and what that means. and this lead to further thinking on relationships, and then i remembered something.... in a relationship, you can always choose to allow things to be ok, and you can always allow them to not be ok, and then i remembered how in love i am again, and that if im not letting things be ok in one way or another, then im not putting everything i have into the relationship.....and thats not what love is...thats not what i want to be, because well, my love for lily is something which has elevated me to be something new, and different, and i would say better than before. maui hasnt been the best home for us....well....mostly for me....but thats ok, i have enough to keep me happy, and i get to sleep with that in my arms, pressed up against my chest every night. and now im going to get tattooed.....its a biggun......you'll see it soon enough....probably.....im just assuming that if you read my blog you will at least see it when i post a picture soon. and then next week we visit our parents on the mainland....its gonna be wierd going back....but refreshing hopefully. much love. -Tank

Why isnt this video on CMT?

Tankboy — Thu, 05 Apr 2007 13:41:29 GMT

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rJuTdcOZFgc cuz god damn it should be.

Refined on a touchy subject

Tankboy — Thu, 29 Mar 2007 11:12:17 GMT

Ok, there was a lot of conflict over how i presented the arguement that i was trying to make.....here is what i have taken from the debate. What we as a community should probably do, is warn people that if they stay on or near the field, it will be noisy more or less all night, and there are ample camping locations scattered throughout the grounds, that still provide oppertunity for a community feeling, while being somewhat more "private" and "noise free" Thank you all for your candid responses...in a society without open dialog about ideas, there is little room for growth. Im leaving my blog up for the sake of anyone who wants to re-read it, but what I took from that discussion is that whether or not "villages" exist at wildfire, labelling them such is detrimental to the community, while warning newcomers that certain atmospheres will arise in certain places is probably a good thing to do. Jon, im sorry if my description of the drummers offended you, honetly, the last two wildfires, i have observed a group of drummers that i really only saw turn up at the burn every night....i have talked to other people about it who have observed the same thing, maybe we have been caught up in our own experiences, and just totally missed eachother, but i do feel that there are a group of drummers (not all of you) who have been rather reclusive at the past 2 wildfires.

Wildfire taboo topic

Tankboy — Wed, 28 Mar 2007 19:30:48 GMT

this was something i was considering posting to wildfire, but i feel that i havent seen eye to eye with the community as a whole on a lot of recent issues, so i am posting it here, to bring it to the attention of the current wildfire community, and let them decide if and how they want to convey it to the future wildfire community. The Villages of Wildfire This is a topic that people tend to not bring up, or at least not on open forums like this, but i think is important information for people to know when planning on attending their first wildfire event, since the choice of where you are staying does impact your experience, and can lead to a better or worse experience. this is not intended to start arguments, but rather to explain what i have observed through my experience at wildfire. i am by no means trying to segrigate the community either, it is important to understand that everyone is welcome everywhere at wildfire....but there are certain "villages" that do exist, and this is how i have experienced them "HQ/Kitchen camp" - Located in the kitchen building, this is where the organizers stay, its known for early nights and early mornings.....there isnt much room in there, so its pretty much just the organizers, but this is the area we will meet for meals (tables located in front of the building), where class schedules are posted, and where you can sign up to pitch in with the work that has to get done. "The Hostel/Classroom camp" - Just across the dirt road from HQ is a decent sized, one room building, that is used for classes durring the day (mostly bellydance and drumming, due to the low ceiling beams). At night there is often a fire in the fire place, and hostel style mattresses to be spread across the floor. Since it is located with its back to the field, it does get quite a bit of noise pollution, but with its central possition, it makes it a really easy walk (or crawl) to breakfast. This building also tends to be our defacto rain gathering place, and indoor meal place. We like to play in the rain, but sometimes it gets cold, and shelter is needed. by the back corner of the classroom building is a bridge that crosses a small body of water to the field (also accessable by paved road). "The Field/Whiskey Town" - The field is used for classes durring the day, and is where we burn at night. There are usually large (bordering on huge) campfires built here, which are congragated around durring the burn. While wildfire is a family friendly event, adults are allowed to bring and consume their own alcohol. As the burn dies out (often as late as 2 am) Whiskey town really comes alive, people sit around the campfires socializing, dancing, singing and generally having time to bond as a community without toys in hand. While noise complaints have been an issue in the past, think that a better understanding of the layout of the event would ensure everyones satisfaction. (whiskey town exists, and to force it out of existance is to marginalize the wants and needs of a very real demographic of the event. There are ample other places to camp if noise is that real an issue for people, HQ is downtown, and Whiskey town is like Brighton) "The Hills/Drum Camp" - Just past HQ, and up the hill is where the drummers tend to stay. For the most part they stay up there, appearing each night for the burn. They are perhaps the most established of the "suburb camps," with HQ, The Hostel, and Whiskeytown comprising down town. The drummers tend to be quite friendly, so dont be scared away. My interaction with this camp is rather limitted, so i dont have much information, i have spent the majority of my time at wildfire in the downtown and class areas. "Tent Platforms/The Suburbs" - There are a lot of Clusters of tent platforms throught the facilities, that do seem to form into little neighborhoods. (it happens when you wake up, and go to sleep with only a few feet between people). These both can have 4 person bunk tents provided, or you can use your own tent on the platforms. Each of these clusters, or suburbs, do tend to create their own personality, and I have not had the pleasure of staying with many of them (but its always great to go visit your friends, new and old.) These are just the populated parts of the facility, there is a beach and a small sort of ampatheater place where classes are held, but i thought it would be good to get a picture of the social layout of the event, so people can be more informed about where they want to stay to have the best experience for themself.

As the time grows nearer

Tankboy — Sun, 04 Mar 2007 18:23:47 GMT

as the time for lily and my move to hawaii grows nearer, and in some ways stress levels increase, because we have so many things to do, and we are getting some things done, but it only seems to slightly slow the rising tide of everything we have to do, its really wonderful to have the person you love by your side. there have been times in the last couple weeks, where i have been completely overcome with a feeling that i cant do this, and maybe i couldnt do it alone, but i dont have to, in those moments when iv needed someone, the woman i love was there to hold me and let me know that we are in this together, and that no matter what we have eachother, and thats really the only thing that matters through all of this. i mean, we are working hard on a place to live, and on getting jobs, and selling her car, and packing and everything, but when it comes down to it, if we dont get our shit together, we have eachother, and we will make it through. i am just really really thankful that she has chosen to be there for me, through all of this, and i will be there for her, forever, because i love her. and now i have to get back to work, talk to you cats later.

I need your help

Tankboy — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 02:41:22 GMT

I need testimonials, for my press kit, so if you have worked with me on any level, or have seen me spin, please tell me what you think.

Lessons Learned, the hard way

Tankboy — Tue, 27 Feb 2007 04:00:56 GMT

I have learned a lot of lessons recently, and rather than trying to sum them all up, im gonna try to focus in on one, one that it took me far too long to learn. The lesson I want to focus on is honesty. I am going to be totally frank right now, and some of you may think less of me for saying this, but these are mistakes i already made, and have learned from, and i know that admitting them only makes me closer to the person i want to become. I have lied to some people recently. No matter the motivation of these lies, i hurt a couple of people. I tried to protect them. i knew it would have hurt them both if i had told the truth any step along the way, and i was so preoccupied with avoiding conflict, i lied. I didnt realize that by lying there became some potential that they find out, and get hurt anyways, and also get hurt by finding out that they were lied to. you are putting the feelings of people you care about in greater jeopardy. honesty is one of the values that I always wanted to have. I always thought I was a loyal and honest person, but apparently i was wrong, or at least i wasnt as much the person i wanted to be as i am now. I lied on too many occassions to lily...one would be too many, and it was a lot more than that. I got caught, and she begged me to be honest with her, and i wasnt, over and over. The lie was like an assassin that I hired to maim our relationship...i didnt realize what it was. So...thanks for reading. -Dave "WORD IS BOND!" -Bushwick Bill

Moving To Paradise!

Tankboy — Sat, 24 Feb 2007 04:13:53 GMT

So my beautiful, darling, love and i are moving to Maui!!!!! yeah, i dont know who iv mentioned it to, but its official now, lily got a tattoo apprenticeship, and im gonna get in contact with resorts. so for the first time in a very very long time, i have made a to do list, and i am sooooo fucking stoked. i mean, who wouldnt want to live in hawaii, with an amazing girlfriend and (after a bunch of stupid burocracy) a beautiful (shaved) puppy. come visit me!!!! catch yall on the flipside.

so yeah...

Tankboy — Wed, 21 Feb 2007 14:28:00 GMT

iv been crying a lot lately. happy tears, sad tears, whatever. iv just been crying a lot lately. I blame biocycles, though i have fear it may run deeper. I feel like im gonna cry again today. Dont you hate that, when you feel in the morning, that some little thing, over the course of the day is gonna send you bawling, and you are just waiting to see what it is that sets you off. oh, and...i love you guys, i know i dont keep in touch that well, but it only has to do with my ineptitude as a friend, and i am deeply sorry for that. ok, enough sappy rambling.... p.s. i miss my staff

The Adventure to Adventure

Tankboy — Sat, 10 Feb 2007 18:25:30 GMT

So because if an interesting turn of events this week, involving my love getting sick, and her boss overhiring, Lily ended up with next week off. After a very serious discussion, we decided to go on vacation next week, we decided that this time together had the potential to have a lot of fun together. and even have a really romantic valentines day. we got our heads in the clouds a little, about going to hawaii or the virgin islands, or even miami, but alas, all of them turned out to be too expensive. at first it seemed like a real downer, but then we realized that we were being ridiculous. we dont need to go anywhere to have fun and spend time with eachother. and there are a million romantic things we can do together on valentines day, no matter where we are. so we decided to take a vacation next week, but our vacation is going to be here, in boston. and its perfect, we want to do all of these things (some we have talked about, some we were just inspired to do) and we both are just as stoked for each of them as eachother. sorry if the continutity lapses right now, im pretty hi-5. so we are going to do all of the things that would have been fun on vacation, that we couldnt afford because we would have spent everything on the hotel and flight. we are gonna go to blue man group, and to a spa, and take a yoga class, and paint eachother (not a canvas...eachother). and thats just the beginning of the list. im so excited! oh man! i feel so blessed. i mean, she chose me, and i truely cant fathom why, but i love her so much, and i know that no matter how i try to express that to her, and how many times she hears me say it, i will never be able to convey to her quite how much i love her, so i hope she really knows. yeah, sorry for being all sappy, i just cant help it sometimes...i leak sap....maybe im a tree. [lily added: "its a good thing im not lactose intolerant, id never be able to handle all that cheese:P"]