pillow talk


touching my lies with those eyes
not as innocent as mine
as I dream myself distant
from the frailty left promised
waiting for you to call me
or settle my heart from the pillow talk
I never understood writing for the wall
of pretense never giving much thought
to the satellites spinning all around
her life races past as I watch in slow motion
the fading walls collapse into a sound
buried in a diary and her ashtray
pretending to muse the girl in her youth
following her footsteps and voices
and awaken the light and breathe in
the music once given freely
to pound my heart to sand
pillow talk and black books reveal
the gardener not her father
or the emptiness of her daydream
playing her familiar song alone
alongside the forgiveness of my day job
her disease ringing in my ears
enchanted rest for the gathering of crumbs
that fell from life
lay out to rescue us from ourselves
my eyes sewn shut and I gave up
the reason to breathe out these words
lashing the bells of endless echoes
the alphabet we burned searching the words
that disguises and shelters us
from the womb I hear you knocking on my window
climbing up to escape the captivity
of becoming another winter's flower
bursting the soil we placed you
in an old book for a century to press
the beauty into darkness
resting in the union of dust
and angel overseers of the oneness
of words and wood pulp
the moment the clarity of wild drops
of never on our souls
and cuts out my heart ten thousand times
with silence and pillow talk


Delicious shades of yesterday

Upon the damage of a single solitude
I wrecked the arrival of waters pouring
The fore gone mist of the new hope
Squint up to shower the mirror mention
Of titles and compromises
Lazy look up hair tossed
Maneuvers assembled to warn her
Delicious shades of yesterday
Amend your lost retrofit your love
Torn to conquer
Twisted for gain and suture
Of the common delight
Pour me a soul ripe for squander
Lift the spillage of my youth for icons to devour
Motion my madness far to design
The ruin of heavenly display
Fork the road rifle the dented sale of night
And glamour thrown to bones
To rattle the sky of mint and mindless fortress shorn
Feast on lonesome flicker of frost
Festive candle of war
The lingering scent of almost home
Nailed to the roof of your mouth
For words to slice and cling
To manage only silence



And Yet You Have No Name

In the web of joy your mist
The volume of my mistake
Your touch
Scattering my doubts
Invade my innocence
Divisible by you my heart
For a monument housed
And what the winter can season
Like a script you grew
From where you fell
And yet you have no name
Your folded soul
The tattered tale
Opens doors to hidden wars
Pierced to shelter
Your foreign thoughts fulfill
Arrows arraigned to encounter
Past bound sacred wind
The right to bleed the morning air
Passing time to pain
The fruit describes the fall
Gracing canvas to stain
The memory of its birth

conundrum of love { my still life}

purpose the reasons of the night
lift the cover of day
for lust-bound friends
follow hard the meaning of sight
and sound in hand
fragile the blink of yesterday
found in the fist of the forgotton
dine on sweet lulabies
and suggestions unopened
twisted memories soar
in my overt possibilities
as my personalty tumbles lost
longing tracts lingering just dusty
trailing whispers as we try to beat
the conundrum of love
menace me blind love lost memory
brandish your hand strike the gifts of mercy
find me and attach your arms to my hindering
force me to drink the cup full and proud
diseased among the lepers of merriment
clothe me with your breath of years held out
hampering time and recorded misery
extend my days and never-ending nights your rest
reveal my intent to heart and soul wrapped song
spend my days buying love and burying the accessories
barter lips and touch for love's lies
in my still life
************************
opposite hearts

while we with opposite hearts
correct the balance challenge the flame
of gross imcompetence
to speech unlearned wronged by the night
and deeds of consecration
fill my eyes with lies
and my ears with wings
of dreams uttered so swiftly
only the wounded recall the toil
require of me a weight of silence
and a breath of denial strong
tarry the vision indebted
mask the howling night of need
paint with black so dark it bleeds
a hundred times between the lines
my replacement soul fixed and climbing
banded with tissue torn from temptation
lost random passage of what reigns
and what was saved
the salvage of walking stone and bone
anouncing wealth to wafers of paste
and plates of rusted garments of vainity
the duration passed and generosity exceeded
look for the tumble and strange love succeed
the flesh of glass and a teardrop in midair
1:40 AM 9/26/2006

worship the wet wild wonder of the nothingness of night
moving of the west to east holding only format not beckoning shadow to appear
restless I am showering drops of wisdom on the front piece of the masses
lingering after long
the glow of mercy
shower me hard songs of going astray
join me here to hate the opening of the dammed
spout wisps of knowledge and kindred lore
explore the vast dimensions of boundless chatter
face the children's mother and gasp
your words too sharp for stone
you connect the dots and die
harbor the glacier thoughts you move in motion
momentum hastened by downtown dreamers and good for nothing s
become the man your mother of desire warned for
careful not to spill the beans
open the vat notice the dust
kings gazed upon the touch less view
and now you wish to bathe
mourn the kingdom fire bent on revenge
force the kind to halt the doom of fate
again
forgotten relics spring to life against the granite hearts of time
learn and record and repeat the damage
voice your person one longer than the last
remedy the gift of gain to shared oppression
forgive the takers grave and graven court united
shallow went the jokers of rule
youth the jacket of tomorrow wait
halt the taste of blood for feast
the tales of ones so old
the cold cannot contend
9:37 PM 9/16/2006

broken wings of dreams
the secret place in your eyes
the music box in your hand
weak entitled you to pain
known theories border the gentle lies
of desire
i talk to the air in december
and warn the silent wind to stir
linger my love long after the wounded heart
tears forgotten battled beyond her memory lay
footsteps familiar tone
decibel dancing scouts of slumber
trickle gaze the comotion
wander the gray eyes
across the room to window
escape the quest of youth
to glide upon the deep darkness of night
flightless bird

I sleep through the possibility of life
unchanging currents pass me by
long after the rest and turn of tide
go on time weigh an anchor hewn from burdens
not my own borrowed and defiled
hidden and refined to frozen memory
light the world of quiet barrage of testimony
forget the truth and shallow graves of childhood
dig me deeper a hole for rust
shake the dust from these thoughts and touch
the tune of day to day test of virtue
fingers curled up to receive the impossible
always waiting always nothing
hope a medal on an old jacket
forgotten war compromised lengths unreached
care for and tend to the list of victors
wounded for you and scarred from careless laughter
white socks and combed hair of disgrace
seek the wind to show your face
run the show tide to foam and random gift of the sea
7:53 AM 9/18/2006

wingless bird

a forrest with no will a sky with no chance
an empty head full of grace
hindered cares flare
soaring and soil the torn boundary of sleep
wake to wrestling dangles of dreams
the tracks we serve to pardon the founders from envy
frozen promises of maybe march and shadow my wicked tree
trace the mangled blessing of fate
screaming fruit of the wind the wail of noon we send for
appoint the night for better things
and paint the air with flavored soul
fingertip the glass of my resolve
trumpet the skin etched tyrant
pulsating veins of eventual dim
spent shell of light and wrinkles on time
revive the talent torn decay
reason my fear tangible tenants of thought
the frantic touch and afternoon falling
message my final burst- cancer of the sane
shake the sleeping blanket of night
invade the fields of glistening dew
the random delicacy the end of rhyme
mouth the words of unwritten calm
silent momento to a wingless bird

*****************************************



fragile rock formation

your body of work
crushes you beneath the weight
of the book still in your head
unrelenting unbounded
infinite possibilities
you start to count the stars
until you find your own
who will cover for you before the pointing
is over
the colors hurt your eyes
i am your filter in this life
as you design your tomb
i build your throne
you sensed the movement
the flame calling
the moth fleeing
i chased you to Rome and found you
conversing with statues
as some birds stopped to ponder
i was your dream that day
and for the next 4 weeks
drawing on the sources of comment
and soulful spender the glory
awestruck and dumbfounded critics
at the wailing wall
i shook it off the shivers of possibility
i tossed those words into the air
you watched them linger
then crash
fragile rock formation





***************************
the tune of amnesia

limited is your access oh heart
my opinion? melted crayon
i see red you see shades of blood
heated fashion flaws burn
retreat to the flame of lust
jinx your swelling name
bundle the posturing lover
equip the savage with thought
juggle the equinox you mortal
gravity in the gravy as always
off to godless tangents and entanglements
held to close to bloodless skin
foolish are the missing days
rampant my hopes for kindness
escape the fading youth
my door ajar in chance of love
leaves piled high to torch
the smell of winter returns abandoned
hum the tune of amnesia
words too old to hold my attention
mark the days with broken songs
and promises of love
visit my tears with calming lies
words too broad for your lips
gather your fears and hold them close
panic the day of your inquisition
require of me detailed years
desire fire for the company of angels
punish the facets for shining
feed the freefall hunger of my life
wipe it clean upon my return
recall my faceless task
ripened fruit falls to flies
fondle my heart in the dark
follow me up to the night
trace the footsteps of hindsight
allow me to introduce myself

****************************************

a.m.

i am drunk from your silence
your smile sings past my thoughts
racing then quietly settling
in gentle breezes and peaceful fondling
follow me home into my dreams
attach your soul to mine
let your heart beat one last time
i will surrender to every breath
i cherish every wave and crash
your kisses echo soft and full
so the earth has stopped
the night has wanted more
your eyes light the way
and i free fall into love
***********************


Pushing the Sky

words cannot save you
neither the scribbled mark
signaled at best to test or anoint
the clouds wander and drop their loads
not measuring for seedling or harvest
words cannot hurt you
save the pencil attack i insist
followed by certain evaluations
and certifications unclear
crystal my thoughts also must wander
and stare you in the face
you sometimes know what i will say next
and it draws you near as i run screaming
tripping over the crust of the earth
folding over itself and then out to sea
we sit silently and watch the waves find the time
to knock over castles and
fill in the footprints we thought were ours
i cannot hear a word you are saying
i cannot feel you holding me now
broken and free to manage the thundering heartbeat
of the universe breaking it down
into layers of rhythm that i clap while eyes shut
and you cry not knowing why?
we are one but not here or now
but as the wind pushes the leaves against the sky

***********************************

Morning

imaginary stones throw away
shattering windows of sound
light pouring into tea cups
i whisper into your ear when you sleep
you smile roll over me
you are warm from this distance
and your scent is of lavender
the miles are our friend
the details are trivial whimsy
lalala i can't hear you
but i know you can
over the bow of the ship
is the beginning of a long swim home
never mind the wet hair and sharks
you shake off the night like rice from a wedding
stare at the ceiling and see images moving
it's pushing off the crippled
shell of youth
stepping into the dawn of who are you
today you are born what will you do
what will you learn
speak into the silence
and light a candle
when you open your eyes
you will fill the whole room

************************
Dreams Demise
torrential pain outburst the lies
faltering flames of lust dissolve
behind your back crossed fingers
loop your belt leading him on
replacing smiles with shake of head
blank fortune cookie reads well
the place your thoughts unhinge
I draw legends you drew crowds
blood the water gray our corpse
wing the night flight my anger
wind sense the hovering hammer of lets be friends
bleed out the death of love
spill to pools my dreams demise
follow solace to the sorrow
witness the breath of weeping hope
dashed to ash by indignation
peel the layers reveal the omission
recant your soul for better or worse
listen to what you are not saying
words stagger drunken eyes and raised hands
wander from me now ponder your escape
free from truth the possibility of us
fly to darkness waiting patiently
drive on empty all night and coming days
frozen copy of self gathering stones to skip across
the bottomless shell of earth
as life ends and I go on

**********************************
****************************
13th century

i stopped waiting in line today
won't do it ever
I haven't gazed upon a sunset or
cared if the sun did rise
for centuries one day at a time
my gas operated monster killed the sky
today for the first time
no one saw it coming
it crashed all around me blue
snowflakes of glass atmosphere no more
i can see now the curvature of the earth
the edge of my eye and the emptiness
of upward mobility
frozen to be thawed when technology awakens
from the bankruptcy of war
voices clash and the music begins to play
everyone dancing to flashes of light
thunder of right and wrong confusing
wisdom and madness bottled together
as tearsdrops of angels mix with the ash of today
monuments silent and founded
written on the stone faces of the elect
i cannot tell you how sorry i am
for the pain I never caused you
my words will rise up in death and shout to my bones
and with deaf ears the children of light will march
single file into the 13th century

********************
turn the page

i have no recollection
negotiating fairy tale romances
with terrorchicks
nor do i imagine my fingers
following the curving wall
to the red room
it screams keyhole dissolution
i have been evaluated and devalued
now spit fire smiles blur
and diabolical misfires
certain items go missing
communicate various stages
of assimilation manhandled
hostage lovers drain all your warm blood
frozen shells for sales quota
playing hell with sheets of ice
do not tell me my future
i see it written all over your face
put a sign around your neck
i am the end of his life
what about the child will it tell
me all the wisdom of drama
or draw my blood bath walking the straight line
avoiding cracks and shadow
a toast to all who must cross my path
bruised bedframes and stolen door handles
fingerprints on a one way mirror
i spit candy coated promises
and you wore that lavender
that first unopened day and night
that waste of sand
bear your own cross
mine torn limb from limb
mined from earthen pottery
drawn to a conclusion of beginnings
shattered bits of light shooting stars
or satellites crashing the burning sky
turn the page
i am not there
am i

********************************
divine maintenance sings

what more do you want from me
go back erase the days one by one
wipe it from your face
the back of your hand
defines my world
for the rest of my life decline
token gesture stare down
dare to look up beneath the moon
trading places with the sun
burning love kingdom hides
mystery meal of the saints
speaking of times measured
reasons and fortune sway the metal
jarred orchestra naming only the chosen
who can dance with their hands
folded clean and shoes shined
divine maintenance sings
what do you mean you don't know
my legs are bent in two
as I hope to break my heart
listen to the noise of eyes moving side to side
my hand filling with tears
spilled to feed the locusts wind and wire
flames of wine desolate pouring
journey of forgotten steps not taken
my left feet prance the hallway
turning as the corner lingers
spray past the scars monument the attitude
final departure rings round the table tossing
discussion of illusion manic the seconds
my watch is gone and all the hours
errors listed in order of appearance
dreams mistaken wishes for granted experience
steer the road winding into the likeness
of welcome
send for me in the bottle
resting on the ocean floor
erase me from your thoughts
written reflection begging to be seen
burn the brick straw house of self interest
slice it up divide them to the borders
sound of horses and steel rail thunder
honoring the legacy dormant agony dainty
condition concerns the continent opposing
eternity a word for mistaken creation
invisible holdings counter sightings beginning
summer torn from spring falls to winter snow
mountains sway with the world breaking free
deep rooted family planted in the dawn of my coincidence
casual hellos kisses to change your neck
you look up with those eyes
breathing to the rhythm of one never-ending day
what shall we call it when we see it
*************************************

*****************************
warchild

the phantom passed through me
its thoughts melded to mine
for a frozen moment
again i resisted
the urge to sing a song i did not know
building vacant tunes lingering
and spinning away from my lips
tasting the texture of godless chatter
bitter runes tossed to embers
tales of forbidden love
they removed from my child as i watched
and took the blows without comment
will the healing begin if they do not stop
i am running and my feet do not touch the ground
where i lay
cheers for heroes i envisioned passed me by
family of the blind gathering silently
and motionless drama bear
i pull one hair at a time
and eat the candy before me
soft and timely
the hand goes up and comes around to find
me waiting and bracing and embracing the sting of love
warchild scars unseen on amputated smiles
taken to the pile and forgotten
reaching back a stolen relic cut without mercy
upside down in my pocket bleeding trophy
it may have been mine
sometimes when no one is looking
i take it out and unfold it
and slowly slip it over my face
hoping it will fit
someone's coming oh my god someone's coming
sometimes i get sugar cubes on my way to school

***************************
fame

the fog has lifted
the one you know is long leaning toward
nights and solemn promises
gaze upon the mirror and spit
the former self of destruction
holding on letting go a scream
exit stage door of this relationship
and all the countless faces
erased with failing memory
and cheap wine
cigarettes are my sex
you tell your neighbor
send your son to find some
four year old pimp and their names forgotten
written on your face
wrinkled blank stare
when yesterday laughed and wooed
every breath you stole from time
now demanding handfuls of the dust
of your premature earth
you sit in red and wait for the bulb to burn
out you travel the valley where you fear
the calm coolness of your skin
touching precious kiss of youth
turning serpent scaled handshakes of fame
and misfortune
beauty in the rubber gloves and bucket you kick
down the black tile hall of the rest of your life
you missed a spot

*******************
antrim

they are left-handed
in denial lacking the ability
to keep a secret a promise
to become someone not the beaten ones
not the ignored or haunted voided
children of arguing "parents"
they bring it all up like vomit
and you swallow it quickly
as the last supper
they hold on to the past like rosebud
melted years ago in the flames of regret
social retardation by the hands of teachers
taught without a mention or reason
just a finger pointing outside
to the possibility of numbness
they are the graceless wonders of decisions
penciled in notes in a file in a binder
on a shelf
they are the filed
it is the world they know
they are left-handed and left
behind the door down the end of the hall
can they listen to music?
****************
ruins

as I wander among the rubble
i try to recall what stood
fair or tall or stood at all
do i imagine art as ruins
apocalyptical excuse for beauty
the lie to pass the time
cheep sanity paid in full
desperation in balance held
while flowers burn in the pyre
it's scent lifting attempting to drown
the memory of flesh corrupting
i remember now how to forget
the clouds once white
the sky my delight
the dust i kick up some day will tell
but today is mine for lack of design
for words become sighs
and 2 thoughts together burn
i turn to see what I had heard
visions lost

********************

timex

she dressed me up to suit her
wipe the white lipstick
and replace with cherry
lip gloss sweet tasting lies
tan bucket from hell
i saw it coming from the first kiss
empty vain voluptuous death
volcano of sex
she hides her pain to take it off
timex dress up
1 hour sleep and your mother
everyone saw it coming
the view from the cookie jar
sugar rush and brain freeze
my sister cried.
have i lost?
i was found on Christmas eve
alive transformed turning from Tourette's
cutting strings cobwebs dangling
carving messages unto records garbage filed
and in my right mind

******************************************
death

the dark as death
followed me up
along the ivy covered wall
i turned to watch it sail
past the cemetary
and the freeway
observing my drive home
waiting for the tick
the door that opens
wildly heaving with time
gazing forward for the fruit
of fall
to leaves crisp and done
the wind and gravity tussle
fond rememberances
among the bricks piled
up to keep them from
running
the weight of the key
slows me down
anchored neatly
to the back of my eyes
shattered mirrors
I was the branch

or the twisted
neck of a dove
broken for what

****************************
he color of rest

i see past the blue in your eyes
to the color holding beneath the surface
blending my name with various reds
and questions of fidelity
i am lost in this spinning cloud of life
i hold your hand crazed and determined
to see your point of view
elevation levels escalate
to no return
then go to them
live with picasso or monet
or whoever was drawn from the fountain
whose tears were black
petrified paint
dredged up in love lost
you who have no shoes twirl
with no where to go but out
every brush a stroke of pain
muse killer wife
silent wine turns to screaming vineyards
mind splattered canvas
museum quality insanity
quiet village captured in blue
tortured gardens explode
blooms speak of mad times
paint the blind man mad
my palette does not comprehend
and gives him sight and critical review
once i beheld a scene I swore to paint
one hand black with tears
the other full of doubt
who can know the vision of
or stop the yellow from it's glow
or red from cold deliver blood to wood and stone
seize the sky sunburst the birds
trees melting the mountain
wanders the inward eye
birthing ground hallowed source
of when to capture the color of rest
rearranging all of me


***********************************
Pounding Last Call

behold a head with no eyes
an arm with no hand
and a dream without a chance
a book lays open pages marked
and torn for process
memorize the face it changes daily
blank stare the table top for certain
trusted brother mind the drawings
ink lined junkie power summed up
stagnant pools of response
mark my transition from fame to frame
powder kit for better highs
the product sells itself
the pounding last call
burst the panic bubble downsize
no one lives to tell
only the tragedy replaces flames for wheat
weapons for earrings
togas for invisibility
to be bathed in fruits of lucid dreams
touched by passing of praise
the flash of heaven on trial
knowledge derailed flipped and buried
green the new blue burning a hole
the next cold shoulder thrown
beaten to lukewarm
her smile is crooked and her halo on fire
she takes them to the roof
she shows them the sign
jesus saves the sky by night
clouds drop nothing as they hang
midair as prayers in flight
declassify the mystery of love
unleash the will of desire
simplify the holding of hands
misty is the only clear shot
changes made in cigar-lit closets
confessions chained to chairs
secured for their own safety
wisdom me down with worry
lounge in my head the thousand series of events
charades of help discuss the menu
bellies rot deliberating luncheons and weekends off
riot me an accountability sandwich
logic crumbles to the dogs
nourish the poor with sincerity
greeting card death

*************************************

the disadvantage of fate

break off the voice mid sentence of thought
pattern rebound glitters
mountains of fake sound waiting
sheltered from the storm of warning
recalling facets I once rested on and wandered from
taxi to taxi to hush
small talk and eclipses of books we knew
authors unknown and unkind
stark thrusts of vision deluge
vivid even for testimony
the scrolls unwind the wrinkles of brain
churning my sight to crayon melting
death chants of golden women in glass cages
my mouth opens and nothing
over the grassy mound is a stream
a table for two chairs and a cloud
my limbs are weak my drag is slow
my caution light fades to sirens red flashing
i wrote it on the wall
well i wished i had
scratch my name into the wooden frame of my shallow existence
i have too much to say of these thoughts
in furious melody of time honored tradition
we can trace the steps of madness back to you
awakened from the coma a man
gray and weary of sleep i ache
to write the scenes unfolding
playing out in my eyes
what is my stake in this
what do my answers reveal
maggots fear my corpse angels decomposing
to the delight of no one recent
she doesn't go all the way back
she starts at the dance once an eerie silence
risk twice the finger tapping end
you know even after all these years
i am still in the mood for you
parroting once a discourse pride
lacking a medal for effort ignoring advances
and the disadvantage of fate
how long is my year where are the reinforcements
plug me into the light

***********************************