joined on 08/25/03
last updated 07/22/07
March 11, 2007
I love this guy! To date the only guy who went out on a first date with me and my son had to come (cause the sitter canceled) and he never complained. He even let him pick the place.........Burger King!!!!
And he still talks to me.
What more could you ask for in a friend?
January 20, 2007
Definitely a complex guy, but worth it to get to know! TN is a great listener, and asks you those questions you need to be asked when you're in a difficult dilemma. He is great to play with, listening to responses and tailoring just the right thing to do next.
October 18, 2006
If you know C at all you know how complex he is. He is a yoda among mere mortals, a sexual dynamo (so I've heard), a teacher and most importantly an awesome friend! A person you can count on to listen to you and really think how he can help, C is a great guy and he makes the perfect professor for any girl with a Lolita fantasy!
July 17, 2005
He can disarm you wih a look. You would never know from those gentle blue pools that he can also disarm you with a twist of his arm. ;-) It's hard to tell what's going on behind those eyes and what's getting cooked up in that twisted mind of his, but it's a fun ride either way. He's one of the more interesting conversationalists I've ever known.
! Gold Star Tribe !,
!*Cool Workshops SF BayArea*!,
"" thePurpleLotus"",
"He's just NOT that into you",
* sex talk *,
** Art Of Loving **,
*** XY ***,
*Firey Water Signs*,
*Sacred Space*,
*The Introverted & The Kinky*,
+ALL+ART+GALLERY+,
12th House,
12th House (No Apologies),
Abundance Manifestation Network,
Adi Tantra,
Advanced Rope Bondage,
Adventures in erotica role play,
Ageplay-for-Fun,
Aging Parents,
al of your sexual fantasys in this tribe,
...
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(with guitars! (from "Know Your Rights" - Clash))
If you've reached this profile, then you've probably read my writings somewhere or met me in person. You might even be in the middle of an interaction or dialogue with me somewhere and you might be looking for some clues about who I am and what I'm about.
Here's a big one. I'm autistic - self identified aspergers syndrome. Most of the time I pass for NT, (neuro-typical), or just a little bit odd. And I'm not particularly debilitated. This comes from decades of hard work and practice on my part trying to present myself as someone with plausible social skills. And I still don't always win.
For example, I try, but don't always remember to say "hello" or "good-bye", (15 years worth of working on this). Or to make eye contact when talking with people, (25 years of working on this). Or to smile when meeting people, (very recent, under a year of working on this). I'm typically stressed in "social" situations. The less structured, the more stress. Your basic "drinks & small talk" party is one of the more grueling experiences in my life. And if I'm alone in a new social situation, I'm often "stone faced", which leads many people to project all kinds of fears onto me that really just aren't mine.
Here are some helpful hints for those who don't (yet) know me very well.
1) If you think you are having an awkward, difficult, or confusing interaction with me, there's a virtual certainty that I'm experiencing something very similar about you. I'm not "trying to be difficult". Really.
2) I'm relatively guile and game free. If you think I'm playing you, or trying to, then we almost certainly have a misunderstanding already and it's extremely unlikely that I've created the misunderstanding intentionally.
3) The best way to clear up a misunderstanding with me is to double check your assumptions by asking me point blank questions. I'm almost certainly doing the same thing with you already.
4) If you think "everybody knows" something, then you'd better say that thing explicitly. If "everybody knows" something, then there's a really good chance that I don't know it.
5) I suck with providing validation, (15 years of working on this). I'm still working on it, but I still suck at it. Let me just apologize right here, up front, days or weeks in advance of whatever interaction we might be having. I suck at validation and I'm sorry. Please do not confuse a lack of validation on my part as thinking any less of your perspective. I'm unlikely to say, "that's an interesting point, but what about..." I'm much more likely to just bluntly ask the next question. It's not personal, and I don't mean to be attacking you. Really.
6) I'm capable of providing validation - I just don't think to do so, especially if I'm stressed, (eg, in a social situation), or in the middle of a discussion. If you want it from me, please feel free to ask me.
7) I don't mean any of this to be an excuse nor is it an intent to duck responsibility. I intend to take responsibility for myself and for my actions. But at the same time, I can't take responsibility for things I don't know about. And if you haven't told me explicity, then I probably don't know about it. (See also #4 above).
8) I have a tendency to be blunt, terse, very direct, and exceedingly precise in my language. It's only very rarely intended to be aggressive or hostile. Please don't read it as such.
I now return you to your regularly scheduled profile.
about me
I generally eschew most self identification labels. Among the few I do embrace are: tantrika, dakha, shaman, player, engineer, autistic, hypnotist, cancer, musician, photographer, NLP master. I write a lot. I'm a deep thinker.
I'm also on free-association.net, okcupid.com, livejournal.com, bondage.com, collarme.com, vox, sparkpeople, aim, yahoo, and jabber.org as teamnoir. I mostly blog on livejournal, (included below), which is another fabulous social networking site.
Work is pushing this "bicycle to work" thing on Thursday and I think I'm going to do it. Haven't been cycling much in ages and I need to.
Food will follow soon. I like to eat, but I need to stop for a while. I'm close to 300 lbs and at my life time high weight. It's tempting to eat my way over the 300 mark just so that I can say that I've been there, but I also don't feel like shopping for yet another round of clothes that I won't like.
So! I'm bicycling to work on Thursday. And I...
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Tue, May 13, 2008 - 4:52 PM
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Work has formally requested that I stop connecting my personal laptop to the company network. If you can get this, it's not about anything in particular. The IT department is just afraid that my personal laptop is somehow more injurious to the company network than my home machines or the machines on my desk are, as though I were somehow a different person when I use different machines.
My new telephone does a tolerable job of email, but I haven't managed to get it to do IM. (Previous ph...
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Thu, May 8, 2008 - 8:50 PM
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Today I have:
1) flubbed a moderator action on a mailing list I moderate
2) sent my 40year old spy camera through the washing machine
3) upon discovering #2, thrown the washing powder for the next batch of laundry into the dryer, which I didn't notice until after it had been running for a few minutes. It's a very CLEAN mess, but it's still a mess nonetheless - clumped up laundry detergent all over the dryer and my no-longer-clean clothes. Ironic, that - clothes which are dirty by v...
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Fri, April 18, 2008 - 4:59 PM
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...anything like cow tipping?
Fri, April 18, 2008 - 4:31 PM
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I usually get up a little early in the morning, take a long bath, and check in on line.
But apparently, the hot water heater in my building collapsed last night and I have no hot water. It should be fixed some time this morning, but my entire routine is now in disarray!
I don't know what to do with myself.
*runs*in*circles*
My life is so hard!
I was planning to work from home today, but I don't know if I can without hot water. Perhaps I'll just email in sick and go back to be...
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Wed, April 16, 2008 - 9:27 AM
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"Another superb bay area play space"
"marware makes fab neoprene cases, cushy & water resistant"
Re: SF Citadel presents: Locked
(in SF BDSM)
Wasn't there also a series called "Ascendancy and Servitude" with similar protocol rules?
discussion post on Fri, May 16, 2008 - 1:36 AM
Re: SF Citadel presents: Locked
(in SF BDSM)
Heh. Yes, that was a classic. I still tell several stories from that one.
discussion post on Fri, May 16, 2008 - 1:32 AM
Re: Feel sorry for me (smile)
(in Cancer Connect)
Sun in cancer, aquarius rising here. And I think I'd actually enjoy a pisces moon person. At least for a while. As with so many other things, it depends a lot on their actualization level.
discussion post on Fri, May 16, 2008 - 1:31 AM
Re: What Do We All really want?
(in Relationship Astrology)
"Understanding, acceptance and honesty are universal, aren't they?"
No, they aren't. I've pretty much given up on the first two in my life. However, I do demand respect.
I generally claim to appreciate honesty and I usually give it. Howev...
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discussion post on Fri, May 16, 2008 - 1:29 AM
Re: Do you put on an act?
(in Wild Aspies)
I haven't put into the astrology debate much because I've done too much studying on astrology. Need to see a whole chart. Sun sign alone is interesting, but in something like 40% of people it just not the most important thing in the chart.
A ...
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discussion post on Wed, May 14, 2008 - 11:17 PM
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