BRENDAN: An Egocentric, selfless, obnoxious, humanitarian, slacker, hero, drain on society, comedian, unbelievably cool, completely unmatched, often misunderstood, hard to understand, great listener, queer friendly, heterosexually inclined??, babe magnet (can both repel and attract with incredible results), heavy user, enabler, slacker, quite respectable, total pud whacker, profuse sweater, awful lap dancer, entertaining voice mailer, honestly concerned and caring, narcoleptic, over-amped, under-achieving, multiple substance abusing, noble, sincere, honest, unemployed, elder-abusing, reliable but not dependable (or maybe it's the other way around), bizarre, caring, commendable, considerate, crazy, respectable, true, honorable, modern urban samurai, who I am proud to call one of my best friends.

PS. get a job!