damn the braaaaaain!

im getting all these evil, awesome, fantastical costume ideas right now...i hate it! im too broke, too lazy, and not good at finishing things IF i even get them started!
feathers are seriously calling to me right now....seeeeeriously. but the pretty ones cost a fortune!

LE SIGH.

well ive been poking around the net all night, and its not 4:56am. bah!

tomorrow i start my red bra project, methinks. my pattern still needs some tweaking, but i have just under a yard and a half of that fabric (whoo clearance) so i got plenty to mess up with!

wow time flies...

i havent been on tribe for a looong time.

until recently anyways :D

ive been in school and working part time, along with getting into other hobbies. i havent been able to take any dance classes in a LONG time :'( theres nothing tribaly going on down in Tacoma, which is where ive been living for the past year now. so i dance in my room once in a while, and shake it around work a lot. oh and i work in a fine art bronze foundry now, btw.

sooo my reason for updating?
i went to a coworkers art show party thing tonight, in full costume! we were encouraged to dress up in any way we saw fit, so i made a new top for the event even! there was supposed to be a dancer there, but she was a no-show unfortunately. i had countless people ask me to perform, but i said no...im just not confident enough nor feel like i know enough to get up in front of a crowd, least of all without any planning.
so maybe next time, who knows hehe...
the top held up wonderfully though, once i got it tied tight enough! im quite pleased with my work :) now i want to make another one, reaaaally bad hahaha...

alright, tomorrow is waterwagens, the biggest vw show of the year around these parts, so off to bed i go!

dern chest!

class was a blast, fast improv with zills wheeeee! i started getting kinda worn out towards the end of it though, ugh im out of shape!
i got a few posture pointers from my dear teacher too...now to get myself to do it ALL THE TIME will be hard!
i just need to work on my upper body work period. ive always had the darn hardest time doing any ribcage/shoulder/etc work...its like i just cant coordinate it or my body wont alow me to move properly. hmmm...

well, im tired, i got sweaty, i think its bed time!

ssshhhmeeeeng!

im taking a (forced) break from the mold tonight and going to class! i ran out of some of my supplies, so i have to wait until i can get more!

class class class!

i ate horribly all weekend, baaaad! so i need to move today, a lot!

wow its freaking cold out, my car was trying to slide on my going like 20 in the parking lot! but thank god it didnt do that on the road...i put this resin skull shift knob thingie in th other day, and this was my first day driving with it, so i was a little nervous when i saw how cold out it was. it needs shoved on a little better, it wobbles a little still!

anyways, ill probably post after class, as usual!

BYEEE!

yesterday and junk

well i think i didnt do TOO bad on thanksgiving, as far as eating goes. for some reason i have been able to keep from stuffing myself to death when it comes to all you can eat food situations lately. go me!
i actually kind of enjoyed my families company this year, which isnt normal for me haha...i guess i missed them a little since ive moved out. i rather liked that feeling though, im still not a family person but i can appreciate them more now at least!
the big cookie day is set for Dec 18th! my grammy and me always make a million sugar cookies around xmas every year, and i always look forward to it!

as for dancing, i havent been doing anything the last few days. im trying REALLY hard to try to get some model horse crap done and over with so i dont feel guilty anymore! my main focus has been finishing up the waste mold on my sculpture thats been sitting around for YEARS (literally). if i can finish the waste mold, cast and clean up the master copy, make the production mold and get the edition started, ill make a nice little chunk of change for myself! progress can be seen here:
photobucket.com/albums/v98...angel/kara/
the newest pictures are the ones on the top. the pictures of the sculpture in brown primer is what she looked like before i started dumping on the urethane...i almost cant remember what she looks like under that rubber anymore hahaha!

so if im a little absent, that would by why. im the kind of person that cant focus on too many things at once. i have to just get myself to work on something nonstop until i get it done, and im notorious for putting things down and not touching them for months. im tired of putting this off, so im trying to stay determined and finish it!

then itll be back to dancing and costume junk ;) hehe

my freaking back hurts...

so ive been trying hard lately to keep my chest REALLY lifted to have better dance posture, and i dont think its been doing much good.
it just hurts bah!
i need to figure out how to make my spine more flexible. i can build all the muscle i want, but if the spine wont bend, it doesnt matter much!

aaanyways...class was fun tonight, as usual, im glad i went. i should be going next monday too. i think Morgens going to be gone either this coming monday or the one after that, then im going to be in California on the 12th...but maybe ill be able to drag myself up there without the Morgster on the 28th, or was it the 5th? i dont know! haha
im tired though, i dont know why im still up!
i want to scan through the pilates DVDs i got at walmart the other night (for CHEEEEAP...i figured why the hell not) but i SHOULD go to bed.
im trying to be more motivated lately, and not let myself be a lazy turd, but i DO have to sleep some time!
turd turd turd!

doo da!

so me and the Morgs did a DVD last night, the Suhaila fusion Yoga one. the way she gets you to start doing undulations was interesting, i rather liked it really! i still need to work on it though haha...the thing that REALLY kills me with all her exercises is that most of them are done sitting down, in a position ive never been able to sit very well in. like with the glute squeazes, im totally screwed. i cannot sit on the floor with my legs out in front of me (together or apart) and keep an upright, straight spine. being able to LEAN forward with a flat back like that is even more impossible. i just cant do it, the backs of my legs are too tight.
i suppose i should scoot my ass over to the Suhaila tribe and see if anyone can tell me if theres a modification for stiff people :( grr!
my upper back is hurting already though! ow

hopefully soon ill be able to finish my white belt! eee im getting closer. i got the last shisha stitching done last night, and now i need to iron the front and back together. then its on to adding shells, buttons, and whatever else i want! im still not sure how im going to line the back though. with all those buttons and crap on there i wont be able to machine sew the backing on, so i might have to do it by hand *gags* blaah!

so im not just a hypochondriac!

so i went and peed in a cup today...and they said i had some white blood cells in there, not a LOT i dont think, but enough for the doc to give me some sulfa drugs and send my pee to a lab to be safe. so yeah, IM NOT CRAZY, and there really is something wrong with my urinary stuff! hopefully the meds will clear it up though.
tomorrow is an early thanksgiving potluck at work...i hope i can control myself at least a LITTLE. i hate eating until im in physical pain, but potlucks tend to make me want to stuff my face!
then the Morgster is coming over and were going to try to do some Suhaila DVDs and work on stuff. most likely we will just end up sitting on our asses WATCHING the DVDs and not doing much.
wish me luck though, im going to need a good workout after the foodathon!
ok now i have to SLEEP.

owch!

went to class last night FINALLY! god i was happy to be there! now why cant i remember that feeling every other monday when im tired and dont want to drive all the way up there? grrr!

well i went...we did a review of the ol basic egyptian, but drilling it with one foot (the hip we were raising) off the ground. i have a feeling my sides are going to be sore! i really should make myself to ALL hip raising movements that way when practicing, if possible that is. its realy easy to just forget and be lazy and use your leg too much.

i got to watch a photo session too. fun stuff! makes me wish i wasnt such a loser and could join the student troupe :(
maybe some day...

ok gotta get back to work, im trying NOT to slack today!

now someone come over and make me do the 30 min Rachel DVD practice tonight, then get right to working on my horsey crap. please?

TMIs

im feeling really crappy lately...i think its all the nutty stuff ive been doing to my body (like, getting off Depo after four years, to the ring for a month, and having an IUD put in this monday) lately but thats all part of my process of elimination.
im pretty sure i have a sizeable problem with depression, and ive been trying to weed out other things (like hormones in excessive amounts with the Depo) to see how much this is really affecting my daily life. i have no idea how long itll take before i calm down from all this birth control crazyness, but i dont think its going to really make a difference.
i bought Suhailas fusion dvds, and Rachels dvd, all jazzed and set on doing one every day when i got home from work. i did Rachels once, and havent touched the rest, and its been a few weeks. i just try to use excuses like, oh i have the Halloween party to plan/cook for, etc, but theres ALWAYS something in the way. i do feel like i look for things to make myself miserable sometimes.
i just have so much i NEED to do that i dont even touch (painting for CUSTOMERS...) and the things i like doing are even farther down the list. i dont think a lack of motivation is really abnormal, but to this degree, where i WANT to do something i KNOW it would be good for me in so many ways, yet i just sit there and do nothing all the time, is healthy. and i wont even get into what it does to my relationship *sigh*...

anyone else just feel like youre drowning, and life is passing you by? grrrr

yet sometimes i feel like im fine, that things are better, and maybe i dont need to be on meds or something. it always comes back though. someone needs to drag me to a freaking doctors office and make me talk to someone and do something about this! or im just going to keep letting it go like i have been for years!