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Jesaka

offline 152 friends
joined on 01/13/06
last updated 06/26/09
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Running around with wild abandon...
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The Cosmic Diva

Gender
Female
Age
33
Location
about me
I'm just a girl surviving in a beautiful but often cruel world... determined to leave a message and a mark and a few works of art.
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Next Tour Date...


Tarot, Mayan or Tao Oracle Readings?

Drop me a line and we can schedule one... 20 to 50 Dollars... Trade also welcome...

Anyone want to help me organize a spoken word event?

"Nomadic Seeker's Poetry Benefit!"
Donations at the Door
"All proceeds help to spread the love"

Featuring
"The Cosmic Diva"
Global Warning
Poems (Beats if there is sound) & Rhymes!

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The Mis Spent Masses

The Mis Spent Masses...

Who are we but the mis-spent masses
Lazing on our asses with rose tinted glasses
paying our taxes
paper or plastic
in the pursuit of freedom
we are chained...
ignorant to all the classist
fascist goings on...

I'm sorry to be the one to tell you...
Its not who's lying so much as who believes its true...
See through it and they will make a special name for you...

Genotyped right for the stay of execution...
Is that your defense or the prosecution?

anything to prove the infallibility of science
but I am naturally defiant
and I want proof...
Genetically modified genetics
are on our side
and soon everyone will be normal.

Welcome to the real world
the wild ride of the great divide
eternally cycling out some cyclic motion
systematic oceans of beurocratic process
all the paper wasted on the wasted idea
of order in disorder
please write very clear
so we can type it right here
and store the forms over there for a year...
and where they go after that is unclear...

And as for the trees?
I hear pleas...

and they gave up thier water for another dollars worth of mahalla...
and the oxygen dwindles
forever available in its homogonized form
bottled water is the norm but its hardly normal...

and I want to take a stand...
Whatever happened to this land is our land?
what little values that school did command
fade on the nightstand of faded desires...
misguided empires...

and the mis-spent mass
sitting on its ass
pour me another glass
and change the channel
a world in dissaray yet so decadent...
I sit and reflect on it
and find myself baffled
plagued by a nuerosis called consciousness
I see how ignorance is bliss
and wish
to return to the matrix...

but its too late for this
You can give a blind man sight and let him see
but making him blind again will not take the visions away.

whats the latest fix
that makes it all bearable?
The hot shot in this parable
is not for the escapist in us
the unjust whining about justice
but what does that mean to us
or is it just us so it doesn't really matter?

I'm sorry but humanity matters in this matter
as I spatter this nonsense like some prophet
and someone whispers
"She seems so angry today"
but this is how I pray
and I will manifest the awakening

this is not a dream
that we will wake from
and as I analyse the cycle
and watch it unfold
I find it so bold
that we can just sit here and watch this

every man for himself cannot build a ship of freedom
especially when we cannot see what we need to be freed from...
this factory farm trough we all exist and feed from...
till they have bought every seed in every kingdom...

ignorance is bliss
And what nation will hit the extinct list
when all this big business
finally gets us?

They need the young to support the old
so society can hold up
the people in control.

Yet in Japan women no longer have time to have children...

While China stops sex selective abortion to re-balance the ratio of woman to men
believing population control is a fundamental right of thier government...

In Africa they just sterilize them without thier permission
forget food or clean water just give them contraception...
actually promoting promiscuity in the face of tradition...
and I wonder who gets the commission?

Another world leader in some capitalistic affair...

Jesaka 06

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Early Work...

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Last words on the American Dream

So I twiddle my thumbs at the dumb numb way
that we walk the streets as though they are paved
in something not quite gold but smooth enough for treading
I awaken every morning to the reality that I live in a world where most are not alive but not quite dead in
I speak in toungues of a native language
that all understand but no one is getting
I want to awaken the world one person at a time
but society won't let me in...

or is it that I have stopped trying to fit in...

this is the sign I have been waiting to assign so that my words might make sense...
this the time when freeing my mind becomes simpler with clarity and pretense...
I can see through the lies that many try to disguise because I see through the skies as the temperatures rise and the ocean tides cash in on our alibis...

I can hear in the distance a starving nations cries as thier hunger has lent them disease and demise while those who think they are wise continue to destroy our eco-system...

I am not just another angry voice on the telephone line trying to reach man kind before history repeats itself...
another civilisation on the shelf...
wiped out because man can do nothing but eat itself...

I will not use my anger as an eye for an eye in essence I am kind but I will speak my mind until someone will appreciate it...
And I still seem to find it's the youth who are wise but once again no one is listening and like bright rays they shine until the system enrolls them in time to mold them into the lastest politician... Whats your position?

I should just stand by and design a new lie, which will protect my line as long as they stay strong enough to withstand it? Why not disband it? The commercial universal thirst that gets sold on every news stand, across every land, that tells women how to treat a man, as if we need some drawn out plan when values are inherent...

Isn't it apparent? We are devolving.

Technology outgrows philosophy, and philosophy get re-written every decade. Humanity has decayed. I stand dismayed as though I cannot comprehend these people.
Like sand in the wind the message goes in one ear and out the other...

What if we were to discover... we can search for our place instead of slowly disgrace the damage with forgetting.

Is this the sequel to men are all created equal.

It's a dogs world out there as we live in fear no matter how you shape it. I search for a place, a culture to replace, the culture that was erased in the face of paper money...
Before there was king there was no need to be king and now everyone seeks to inherit the kingdom...

I wish to bring some...fresh insight to the table whether or not I am able... and as time has passed more time will make me capable...
and eventually they will say, we did it so you could get to the prize, but thats not the size of my encouragement.

I have worked so long to create bonds that are strong, only to watch money destroy them. I have watched so long as humanity goes wrong until one day there will be nothing left to save them. I no longer play along when I hear a nations song which has forsaken its people to be the top dog... and I will find my place in spite of the human race and discover that even this life is eternal...

this is my journal
my journey
my way

Jesaka Irwin 2005


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Live Your Truth...


In order to be fully at home... you must explore the world to understand what home is...

In order to be fully at home with yourself... you must explore the world of you to find out who you are...

When you know yourself you become filled with desire to just be yourself nothing more nothing less... and to be where that is simple... which is not always where we are at the moment we find our truth, ourselves, and sometimes shocking to our surroundings, surroundlings...

Then we must seek out our place... and just be there...
which often is the place we embarked from that gave us our character in the first place though it may be some time before we return.

Its an interesting journey my friend... and it can be scarey... growing pains... sounds very saturns return to me... when we kind of look back at everything and accept things and decipher the nest phaze of our evolution... to find the most joy... with the least struggles... but that generally comes through a great struggle that gives us perspective... its as though we are reaching backwards for something to move us forward...

but know there is a place where life just is... and people just are... it just flows beneath the surface of mainstream reality and society doesn't encourage it.

But we are the seeds of the future... if we manage.

Jesaka

Live your truth Be your truth...

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Manifest It!

Don't stress yet...
Manifest it...
You cannot manifest
the fact that you're blessed
when your feeling pressed & blighted
don't be so short-sighted

people are there for you that you never knew
though you may have known in days long gone...

Seek them and you will find them
wondering where all the time went...

Closing yourself puts you on a shelf
and leaves you feeling all alone...
people cannot be drawn to light that is not shown...

Open up... decide your purpose
send it out there
stop feeling worthless...
There are doors awaiting your courageous hand...
take a stand...
Take back the land

Stop feeling spent
focus your positive intent...

and remember your power!!!
The universe is at your intentful command...

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A page torn from my vision...

This is the cover to a book I am working on.
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pg.1

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pg.2

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Pg.3

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Pg.4

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Pg.5

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Pg.6

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Pg.7

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Pg.8

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Pg.9

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Being Yourself Fully


Wow how I never thought it could be such a challenge to just be. Its seems completely off the status quo for some twisted reason at least from this shore... all these little boxes so well prepared for us, and until we experience them we are unable to see what a cage the box can be. That is if we aren't blinded by the conspiracy. Spending so much time trying to fit in and into it. How did I end up in a society where everyones in a box and those that aren't are aching to get in... It makes being outside the box almost a crime. I am no criminal! I return home to SF where I used to live in a box... and as a free bird now realizing I had chosen it then even though that box pales to the latest one... and that in trying to choose freedom I placed myself in a more constraining box and not by choice... Now I return home... the box burnt altogether on a foriegn shore... realizing that I was in a freer place before demographically, though maybe not mentally... but happy to know I have learned to see and to be and to accept that there is no other way for me no matter how difficult it can be... and mostly that there is more to life than a soul-less pursuit of money.

So Happy to know that I can be now... more than I was before!
Jesaka

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Mad Poetry...

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My long lost peeps...

view all 152
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Where does the time go...

Where does the time go?
Down a fast spiralling vortex
like the winds of change
I remain changed by the weathered
past of my previous lives.
Why give me memory
while the lucky remain blind
until time comes to take back
whats rightfully times
as mother nature
watches with a wicked smile
though somewhat beguiled
as she watches her favorite creation
destroy her...
but there is no fear with time
because time knows that one day it will be up
to do it few moments of justice...
Because with this particular friend
time will let nothing harm her
for she is the balance that time
and all things hang in.

Jesaka 06

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As the African Moon Descends

As the african moon decends into the distant horizon...
I watch a piece of the past fade away.
I think of the beautiful moments... perched upon a rock
searching like a tribal warrior on the horizon for some sign
that I have reached my homeland...
In that moment I felt I had
but it has changed...
as I moved further across the land
to evaluate the damage of the greedy white man...
It is not how I remembered it primitive and free...
untouched by modern man from desert to sea...
it has been plagued by the modern desires
of the so called civilized and thier pursuit of money...
Even the children of tradition flee into the city
forsaking thier heritage blind to the hypocrisy...
Will they see the illusion?
or be destroyed by thier inability to see...
as the system breaks them down into the newest form of slavery...
and when the ancients are gone what will become of me...
lost in this life trying to get back to the way things used to be in some previous century...
before we traded our truth and our freedom...
and began to fight wars to gain power in the name of religion and prosperity...
and yet we seem to move further from equality...
though all those kings claimed they would unite us...
and the blood is still shed a thousand years later...
and the ones on thier thrones still bite and fight us...
Though "our" kings are too weak to lead us in battle
they just send out thier orders and watch on tv...
getting fat from the deaths of thier own people
hiding behind the cross on thier steeple...
Though thier God cannot possibly condone this...
how do they ignore thier own fundamental doctrine
and then turn and use the same book to justify them...

Who created this game and when will it stop?

Jesaka

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I want to Shout...

I want to shout so loud I wake up humanity
from all its separation, greed, and vanity
and rattle it into action against all this profanity
that is driving this simple soul to the point of insanity...

I wish I were blind, complacent, and ignorant
I wish I could eat the poison and believe in my government
And no one is asking where all the moneys spent
as our people starve and can't seem to pay the rent...

And as you watch the news on your plasma tv
falling for the latest and greatest monopoly...
programming channels that you find funny...
I keep hearing that ancient Indian
exclaiming "you can't eat money"

I wish there was something to help me have hope
And people wonder why half the worlds strung out on dope...

Escape and blindness cannot save us...
its just another cage we allow to enslave us...
and when it all comes down we'll say we knew it was coming...
but no one will explain why we stood by and did nothing...
and everyone who thought I was oh so depressing...
constantly shouting about issues that are pressing...
will suddenly understand what I was trying to say...
as the world they took for granted starts to fall away...

at least I won't feel guilt for just standing by...
and I won't feel so crazy about the tears that I cry...
at least then my anger will be justified...
as I continue to hope something happens in time...
while everyday I notice a steady decline...

Oh how I wish I was complacent & blind
instead of plagued by my awakened mind...

Jesaka

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UN in Management Crisis

The West cannot push us around just because they pay the biggest share of the bills ...

South Africa's Ambassador Kumalo

A most undiplomatic row is raging at the United Nations in New York. Developing countries have voted down proposals from Secretary General Kofi Annan to reform the UN's management structure in the wake of the recent oil-for-food scandals... and the richer countries are threatening to retaliate.

In a windowless basement, a power struggle between the rich and poor nations of the world has been taking place.

news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/progr...4972490.stm

WOW...

This is exactly what I have been feeling about the establishment...

I was also thinking of how in Africa... they are no longer trying to feed the poor... build infrastructure... they instead are trying to force them to by pharmacueticals... that might just inevitably kill them... Lets figure out a way to get rich off poor countries... Disease thats how we'll do it... we won't blame it on sanitation... bad nutrition from the food the white man hands out... or centuries of slavery and dictatorship...

Nope... Its disease and if you want to live you better by this shit that will kill you...

I hope they stand up to them... and blow the lid off some of this bullshit... Bush is definitely going to start losing points in congress soon...

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The Galactic Ride

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Sounds, Floetry, Movement, Manifestation

Leave a message for Booking Info... Coming soon to a Venue near you!
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To hear the sounds...

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Jah Mamma's Baby Zion...

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Azrad the Explorer

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Make A Donation!

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The Drugging of Our Children

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To Become a Man of Knowledge...

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Bomb your Reality TV...

Been living outside of Boulder... going out to Southern Colorado though and back to community... I am just not the Urban girl I used to be... unless I am performing.

Miss everyone!
Hope all is well... See you on the journey...
Find me on Facebook too guys...
LOVE LOVE LOVE
The Cosmic Diva
Fri, November 13, 2009 - 12:20 PM permalink - 0 comments
 
www.fresh1045.com

Jess Taylor
Click the dot next to my name and scroll down and click send!

This is for the position as morning show host on one of the top radio stations in Missoula!!

THANKS SO MUCH
LOVE LOVE LOVE
Jes
Tue, October 28, 2008 - 7:41 PM permalink - 1 comment
 
Wow what can I say... a little Hibernation is just what the doctor ordered!

So Two weeks ago I crawled out of my cave... and now my phone is ringing off the hook... I have more opportunities than I can even handle...

I have one Dj night per week that covers each genre of music I love... (4 Total)

I am now part of a Psychadelic, Electro, Hip Hop Group called "Special Peoples"

I just laid down six new downtempo electro tracks (see myspace)

My Children are fantastic and ever so frigging amazing... (Loads of new pics on myspace)

Still doing research...
rocking ebay...
and testing out them pyschic skills too... THE FLOW IS FABULOUS... Find it if you have lost it... Its running parallel to you at all times... if your not actually in it...

Needed some RNR For sure... hey guys don't forget to just stop and regenerate it may be all you truly need when you are feeling stuck in getting to the next step...

I love you all and will write more soon... got a Dub/Reggae gig in an hour! LOVE LOVE LOVE

The Cosmic Diva
Fri, October 3, 2008 - 2:15 PM permalink - 0 comments
 
Check it Check it...

www.myspace.com/thecosmicdiva

Been a busy girl... Having baby... Getting grounded... Djing again... Making music... Rocking it on Ebay... Lovein Life... Working fo myself... from the comfort of my home... In the Flow as ever..

The Diva has emerged unscathed from the ever long journey of understanding and growth...

Come see me...
www.ticsid.org
www.thecosmicdiva.com


Jes
Thu, September 18, 2008 - 5:30 PM permalink - 0 comments
 
Born March 1st 2008!
Tue, March 11, 2008 - 9:03 PM permalink - 3 comments
 
The Day Monsanto goes down will be a victorious day for Humanity... Will we converge in the streets as though World War III has ended... Or like the Funeral for Princess Di? Or will we allow the media to sugar coat it or simply ignore it and fall back asleep in our unawareness of what a triumphant victory it will actually be for the future of Humanity. These Chemical Corporations have incited violent revolutions in other countries... People shot in the streets trying to protect thier food supply and individual health rights as thier families are poisoned by the spraying and thier crops destroyed. Yet we sit here and consume our slow death with great ease and acceptance. Believing that Humanity is actually benefiting and please show me a scientific document that proves we are living longer and healthier than we did before the Industrial Age? While the small farmer disentegrates... our only hope in economic catastrophe wiped out by some mad scientist that has stumbled on the fact that controlling the food supply is the most solid way to control the World.

I am sorry but humanity has not evolved beyond its inherent nature to control the world that has been in existence and has created the most catastrophic realities since the beginning of time... do not pretend that somehow suddenly after 50 years since the last blatent holocaust that somehow people of power have suddenly stopped having these tendencies... I promise you they have simply become more clever.

Does no one notice how they have tried to patent such simple things like Tumeric, and Rooibos... and what about our genetic make up... our miracle genes that make us smart or disease resistent. Owned by the biotech industry or even worse the Pharmacuetical industry... Things not even native to the great America, things not invented but belonging to nature and humanity. Things that impede science and research and your ability to have a real cure or breakthrough.

Does no one care that while they destroy mother natures natural evolution they are buying up native seed until nothing will be left but thier inferior products. Welcome to the age of dependance and fear... the most powerful tools of control. Does no one have the slightest bit of concern to look into the scientific research that shows the negative health effects, the antiobotic resistence, the ability to mutate dormant viruses, and most of all the ability to infiltrate human DNA? No we continue to eat the soy... Oh you healthy Vegetarians you if you only knew. Poisoned by our own ignorance we accept death like a means of attention getting. Does it really not effect us so we don't have to worry about it? Tell me then... what illnesses are you families dying from... can one of you claim immaculate health through your whole genetic line? You parents generation the blindest of all accepting thier cancers and taking blame when the rise is due to serious changes in our food and environment... do you think we are benefited by the fact that it is also a major industry for profit making.

Slow Death the biggest earner for the 20th Century.

What does it take for humanity to wake up and make a stand. We even accept personal responsibility for disease when so much can be placed on our food and environment. Privatising everything... people die of thirst with a water plant next to them because thier right to water has become some corporations private interest as the Country itself tries to seek creative ways to free itself from the extortion. Dependance again. I begin to pray for the second coming and I am not even denominational as I start to wonder that that is the only hope for humanity.

I love the "NOW" but by ignoring our future what does that mean for our children, our childrens children? We have a hundred years of escalating issues mounting year after year... and what is being done... Silenced voices fighting a war for us when simply our participation can catalyse the whole reality of truth. Can change the whole institution. Can manifest that golden age so many meditate on. We are brainwashed and brain dead. Letting them convince us that we are powerless. Following the pied piper into a consumerist matrix of every man for himself. My motivations too are myself and my family... and extends out to the whole of humanity... as thier future is humanities future... Maybe thats why they are discouraging us from having children... because without them we are inherently selfish... Focussed only on Image and aquisition... No awareness of how empty and unhappy we are... cause we can just accept that is another of our flaws and eat the poison to remedy that too... Eliminating the need to face our own demons and do the inner work necessary to trancend those negative emotions that are generally linked to a flawed reality where we are manipulated to live against our nature.

Forever aware of how our reality begins to resemble science fiction from the fourties I wonder when it will begin to resemble current day science fiction... and we notice less and less or simply disbelieve that it is actually part of the real reality because we watched it last week on The X Files... or in the latest made for TV movie. We can no longer distinguish the difference between the two. What a great triumph for the master minds... All marketing based on the clever awakening in the birth of PR... that we can be totally molded by our selfish desires... and we try to believe that somehow we are a superior species. Simply superior because some clever idiot figured out how to prey on our stupidity maybe.

WAKE UP AND SAVE YOURSELVES! I guess death is the greatest escape.

Jesaka Irwin 2007
Fri, January 25, 2008 - 3:11 PM permalink - 3 comments
 
Something I posted in 2012 a while back that just got brought to my attention...

Intuition & Fear...
Do you realize not so long ago humanities biggest fear was prolly what if it doesn't rain...

The key is to eliminate the fear...
Not only with hope... but with determination & action.

For example I am affraid of what they are doing to the food... solution grow my own... buy organic... (you say thats so expensive) then buy bulk... if you don't have a store... shop online... in the end you will save money, feel better, help the planet, and possibly save you and your families life... (no one knows yet what the outcome of all this industrial age industry is going to be) We see the pollution though...

I am affraid of the polution... solution move to where the air is clean...

I am affraid of the control of the medical industry and the manupulations of the pharmacuetical industry...
solution... become my own healer by firstly eliminating what is unhealthy and replenishing properly... if you cut out all the shit and live in nature and eat healthy... you will remain healthy... Despite being in Africa... I wasn't sick for the 3 years I was there and a big part of that was likely that I didn't have insurance and go running to the hospital every time my nose would run... I learned to appreciate the true healing properties of what today are called "old wives tales"

(Do you know why the medical industry is becoming so aggressive about making us fear for our health? Cause we are heading to homeopaths & accupucturists and save them as a last resort)

"Are you tired? Feeling Down? Lower Back Pain? Sleeping Disturbed? Ask your doctor today... "Escape" may just be the drug for you!" (We all have these symptoms at some point thats what makes it clever marketing and the BBC even published an article are the pharmacuetical companies inventing diseases.)

I'm affraid of the things our government has done and when and how those actions may come back to us...
soluton... Stop giving them the money to do those things... Without our tax dollars alot of congressmen would not be driving mercedes...

For those of you who say you make it sound easy but its not... the only thing that is not easy about moving away from the fear machine whether it is propoganda or pollutants... Is the Conditioning that was created to keep us consuming this crap and padding thier pockets... Break Free... make that choice and seek your place... IT doesn't necessarily take money so much as a willingness and determination to break free... the abilty to work even if its in a garden... on a farm... etc... there is much in place to welcome us into it... but no one is going to knock on your door and say hey follow me... let me show you how to be free. (Except for maybe me right now) The city will always be there should you wish to visit or sell your things to the consumers who cannot live without the machine... (what're they going to do when it comes tumbling down? I'm affraid of that to... solution... try to show them another way)

The hard part is breaking out of the conditioning that says there is no way for you to make that possible... We must stop thinking there is nothing we can do to fascilitate the Golden Age... we must manifest it... now... by moving away from that which is destructive and moving towards that reality so many believe is not possible.

We must put them out of business... and we cannot do that if we are all just standing by consumed by the fear they propogate, thinking there is nothing we can do... but accept it... That my friends is exactly what they want us to do...
"Go out drink, party, work, play... just don't mind US... we really have your best interest at heart... trust me"

At least now they are getting a wake up call... as our major importers are not buying our gm crap... which of course just means our government will likely try to feed it back to us.

I'm tired of living in fear... and peace is here on earth... but not as long as we are supporting the destruction... the seperation...and letting the fear immbilize us... whether in a small or large way...

As for intuition... it will get worse before it gets better... I'm heading for solid ground.
Jesaka
Sat, January 19, 2008 - 3:56 AM permalink - 2 comments
 
A life that changes like the wind
into a tornado
cause of destruction
only to disipate on the horizon
once the wind has met enough barriers
to desintigrate.

Yet the destruction remains
to be rebuilt if re-construction is afforded.
Though my life that changes has no available storm insurance anymore.

I dissipate
into a shadow of my former strength
against my will
yet subject to self inflicted consequence.
Ahhh the reality of a life of impulse.
So I am stregthened in new ways
out of my weaknesses.

And in all those years I felt judged...
I suddenly understand the true meaning of judgement...
Descrimination...
Fear.

And one should suggest to me
that fear stands in the way of my ability to take risks...
but is it truly fear... or have I learned a lesson...
For it was risk taking that has caused so much destruction...
and has led me further from my goal...
yet I still hope in some strange way...
it will bring me to it...
in ways I never could have reached it before.

I built my hut in a war zone and should I now complain
or feel ashamed...
that the war has destroyed my idea of home?
It was after all the risk I took...
I knew where I was building.
Even though it is nature itself that wages war upon me.
It is also nature that saves me and leads me home...
Where I am truly safe...
ahhh the mixed blessings of learning the hard way.

Will I ever learn
if i do not try to do things differently...
learning the same lesson again and again...
despite natures scars
that I wear like a badge of shame
even though I refuse to be ashamed
The badge alone makes other think
I have failed the world and myself.
That I am actually some dark image
super imposed over abundant light.

I am simply light
and though nature now teaches me
to seek solid ground
and protect that light
from the darkness
that is the human condition
I grow into isolation
an illusion of safety
in avoidance of storms...

and so life changes
dramatically
in the blink of a blind eye
that suddenly can see
in the darkness
of a former idea
inspired by impulse
like a storm
that rages
instantly
in the conflict
of changing winds.

Jesaka 07

Thu, December 27, 2007 - 6:47 AM permalink - 1 comment
 
What is love...
Love is a friend
in the midst of darkness
climbing out of the shadows
telling me that I am not alone...
Travelled miles in the rain...
to hold my hand through the darkest pain.
Always there
no matter how far
living and breathing
inside of my heart...
light or dark...
and you were the only one.

What is love...
Love is so many words never said
dancing in and out of our heads
over years
over miles
over tears
over smiles...
we'd never go there
but we always would have
if the timing had ever been right
on one of those misty nights
if only you lived up the stairs...
who would have dared...
and even when my ego was too big...
you were still there...
and you were the only one.

What is love...
Love is that which divides me now
into light and dark.
yet these trials unite me in such a new way
with its true meaning...
one I could never see...
though many try still...to love me...
despite everything.
I have learned of its illusions...
dissillusions
strange intrusions
that free me from lust
my greatest prison.
and I go now detached from obsession
what a beautiful impression...
and only certain truths can gain entry...
Who has ever been there?
you were the only one.

And the phone rings
and he tells me how much he cares
though he knows nothing of me but the scares
and I tell him a story
of the only friend that was really there...
in the midst of the madness...
and then I hear a buzz
and theres a message
and its you...
right in the moment I was speaking...
I hang up the phone...
and as I write this my laughter turns to tears
in all those years
I was so blind...
what if
you were the only one.

Even when I was afraid of myself
with you I was comfortable.
Though my fears have deminished
my self love replenished...
My worth and value
unscathed by some undefinable
inconsistent and undetectable treachery
that no longer makes since
even though for a moment
I let it get the best of me...

They say thats how it happens...
but I fear I could be too late...
all these strange twists of fate
that intrude upon me.
Solitude is so uncomplicated.

Love is one that still remains
after the laughter
and through the rain
stripped of everything
but truth.

Though if I should settle for less
let it be that you're the best
you have passed the greatest test...
in this friendship I am utterly blessed
and always know...
how much I love you.

Jes.
Fri, December 21, 2007 - 3:04 AM permalink - 0 comments
 
Forever blessed to be nestled into my own space...
for the first time in years...
The world is spiralling towards a major climax...
and those of us with our eyes open
need to take a minute
to cleanse...
to clear...
and to re-connect with our inner harmony...
as we move through this world weaving in and out of peoples lives...
we pick up so many little tid bits of energy... some peaceful and much chaotic...
The closer we get to true enlightenment...
the more temptations and confusions and illusions will come forward
to alter our direction, make us question our path, make us doubt our purpose...
Accept each challenge with an open heart and keep the eyes wide...
and re-align again and again with your truth...
You always know it... because you are happiest when you are aligned with it...
doubt, frustration, fear, complacency, insecurity...
these are all signs that we are lost...
Find the path it is there...
though it may take some work to get back on it at times...
stay focussed on what fullfills you... even if it doesn't pay you in bills...
because it does pay whether you see it or not...
appreciate every gift that comes from your purpose...
whether small or great...
appreciate the small gifts most... for they lead you to the great...
Shed all that does not align you with your purpose...
and one of the most valuable affirmations I have had in the longest time...
There is no need for compromise!
When you are aligned with your purpose, your truth...
there will be no need for compromise...
There is a place where you can be you...
keep marching forward and do the work necessary...
it is there... and the door will open... when you need it most.
and it will be all of your own doing...
with the help of many you usually cannot see.
J
Fri, December 7, 2007 - 7:23 PM permalink - 1 comment
 
Home has its benefits...
The road can be exhausting...

Especially when your pregnant and getting more so month by month...
Its looks to be a boy... I will hug him and sqeeze him and call him Zen...

Nothing like a shiny home...
and a pantry full of food...
A Closet full of clean laundry...
A little solitude...
and space...
and mountains...
To make a girl feel whole again...
Assured...
Grounded.

All the search for community and place has simply left me with the need to be alone... in the country...
not barring friends and visitors of course... or those in need of a moments rest...

But no one can provide anything we seek for us... but ourselves...
and if you want it done right... do it yourself...
And anyone that holds anything over you for offering you something you seem to need or want...
be weary... be very weary of that one.

I have only ever been truly content with my own independant wealth. Luckily my own independant idea of wealth is not the mainstream idea of it... or I would be bound immeasurably into some form of slavery.

Funny how when you live in a bus people seem to think when you rock up at thier house your going to wanna move in...
or impose... or you'll never leave... a Homeless Vagabond... that can't live in society...
Well you know what. FUCK that attitude... sure it does happen at times... but not by me... and it leaves you wondering about the meaning of friendship... and how none of them had a problem dropping in on you for weeks whenever they needed a place to retreat or crash and you had it...

I just finished reading the Fountainhead... I had tried before but the whole corporate zeal and ego aspects always turned me off... so I never got to the juice of it... my my and boy what juice... and what timing for me to finally digest it...
after much growth I understand it and see what a Novel Novel it is...

I know this story ever so well... I used to think Chocolat' was one of my themes but this truly hits a profound spot within...
And what a philisophical conflict... selfish versus selfless... and in reality also no man can be selfless without first looking after the self... as man would not exist if he did not take the steps necessary for his personal survival... and what this book so vigorously points out is that many of the so called selfless are simply giving away other peoples money... And how eagerly the biggest egotists go on spouting about the ego... the ego can be a monster... but yes... well said Ayn... A Healthy self image and concern for self and an unmovable integrity do not make you an ego-maniac... they make you strong... A Creator. One who knows the value of his art... The meaning. Even if no one else cares to.

What I loved most... was pondering the idea of so many of some of my old friends from the days when I was so eager like Peter... to be accepted, admired, acknowleged... (yet inherently unhappy and unable to understand why) ...how many of them have looked down at me upon my return from africa as though I was fucking up because I refused to sell my soul any longer... refused to buy into the box... and live in a proper house... and get a REAL job... and PROVIDE for my children... Firstly I must have been challenging thier egos... and excuse me but as a mother is not providing my time for them essential to there up-bringing? Educating them... Loving them... Is choosing an alternative life that allows me to be with them not a noble cause for any mother... Have you not noticed how eagerly the government has convinced us to relinquish the fundamental right of being a parent... the right to raise our own children... no send them to institutions... hell we'll even pay for it... Get them to the mentality of sheep as soon as possible... Herd them... hurry.

My children are my greatest companions... well that and the fact that I give new meaning to the word "accidental tourist" Despite the fact that the government thinks the lack of two parent families is the problem with our society... The lack of loving and involved parents is the problem with our society... The fact that the values and lessons being imposed on our children by the establishment is the problem with our society... Being afraid of the big guy who's going to steal your luch money is the problem with our society...

Those who are abusive... have been abused... by an abuser... who at some point was abused by the system.

We have been raped by public opinion... the indivual is being squashed... in many places... though not all... Though people have had issues thinking for themselves since the beginning of time... Hence why the sheep mentality has also existed... and the strong are either beaten through co-ersion of the ego, lack of belief in oneself... or they become rulers often falling into the same traps the swore they would change when they are in charge...

Oh my what a wealth of philisophical thought I have been inspired to today... right at the moment when I was realizing personally how some of those who try to help us and encourage us on are seeking some gratification for thier own egos... and should you challenge that ego... they are the first to say you are worthless and won't be able to do anything without them... and should you show them your capabilities... of taking care of self... Where does that end up leaving them? I'll let you know if they ever answer the email that tells them how great I am doing... even better actually... without thier help and thier price tag. Ahhhh the great lesson of 2007... closed by the most fitting climax of theory by the Great Ayn Raynd... Gratzi... you russian demi-goddess...

Your love of yourself is your most valuable tool... your most priceless treasure... your strongest weapon... and your greatest ally...
Don't ever let anyone make you doubt your own self worth... and remember struggles come and go... they are part of life... don't ever let a struggle... defeat you.
Fri, November 30, 2007 - 4:48 PM permalink - 1 comment
 
I said goodbye to the Galactic Ride today...
Pout. Pout.
Now I have this massive burly four wheel drive diesel truck...
I feel so butch or something...
It was hard...
though I imagine how I will convert other buses one day...
Its all good...
but it was hard...
Though I passed it on to another momma...
a mirror of myself...
Say hey to her if you see her out there...
Forever in the flow
and assessing the interesting aspects of attachment.
Love to all...
Thu, November 15, 2007 - 11:36 PM permalink - 0 comments
 
so here I am... 5 months pregnant... trading the bus for a four wheel drive...
and she moves further into the mountains...

Wishing this father was seperated from me by an ocean too...
well I suppose we are seperated by the ocean of his self loathing...
I should have known something wasn't right when I discovered I was pregnant...
after assuming it was protected...

Assume nothing... ever.

At least I know despite everything that I do have self love...
and that no one will compromise that...
no matter what they say...
no matter how they try to make me doubt myself...

There are no rescuers no matter how tired or vulnerable we may feel...
Only Angels and guides...
and they have no price tag...
so if you see a price or expectation...
keep your eyes open...
We ourselves alone hold the solutions... the keys to our existence...
Great spirit and our intent alone can pull us out of anything...
No mortal man can promise us redemption...

Contemplating being homebound for a bit...
The family forever growing...
I don't mind tho... I love my abundant family...

And I pleaded it could not happen overnight...
only momentary explosions work like that...
Which seemed to frustrate him immensely...
and tho I ignored that reality for a moment...
and tried to give it a go for the spirit of family...
I do know that what I said was true...
and no wonder he tried to convince me otherwise...

The easy way is an illusion...
and in a life of miracles...
the dark will try to confuse us...
with miracles tainted by the material & physical...

Though I remember the true angels...
and relish in the sudden opportunity to be one myself...
So many I know seem to be resonating in the same moment with the same experience...
are we learning... I am.

Enjoying the idea of hibernation...
the sanctity of solitude...
the truth within...
loving my self as a worthy companion...
we must be able to love the company of ourselves...
before we can truly love another.

ahhhh the clean pure air of a real winter...
the changing colors of changing seasons...
being in a state that prides itself on playing by its own rules...
Being in a state where there is a huge market for my talents...
and many open doors...
Feeling safely tucked into solid ground...
mountains surround...
and even the tap water is drinkable...
Watching the world from a distance...
and enjoying it...
There will be other buses...
other travels...
but for now...
I could use a rest...
J

Sun, November 11, 2007 - 1:43 AM permalink - 4 comments
 

EVOLUTION!!!!! Somebodies got to... or we're really fucked!
Have you heard the mainstream diet is getting pretty dangerous!

I could add that my recent random foray into the media world gives me a distinct impression that we may need to buckle our seat belts soon... for a bit... that is if you haven't already... (maybe I don't pay attention enough (and for good reason) but things are pretty darn fucked on CNN/CBS/ABC)

Sorry for the reminder those of you who know and those of you who don't care...

Could Hillary finally socialize medicine?
Really I mean would the CIA allow it? Random thoughts of JFK...
The chinese are invading with nuclear toys?
But the agency is doing thier job because the toys are getting recalled... (though I think doing thier jobs would mean there would be no recalls as they would have never entered the country... much less shops...childrens homes, mouths, etc... painted wooden blocks for toddlers!!!)
Not to mention China is also selling weapons to Iraq? a breed of gun we won't sell to them apparently...
our shipments are a little slow for some known reason...
Thats gotta be biting the Military Industrial Complex in the ass...
The Welfare peeps even distributed 300,000 lead laden lunch boxes to poor kids...
Eat your fruits & vegetables!!!!
And what exactly caused North and South Korea to suddenly like each other after all these years?
Salmonella in burger patties?
Ecoli in white chocolate?
Oh and the US isle of deadly animal diseases could be moving to the mainland
(How exactly do you move a laboratory like that? Then do you burn the Isle or something?
Clinical Trials are on Trial as they try to figure out how 250 people can actually monitor 350,000 clinical trials...
Blatent evidence that many are not even inspected...
Yes guys what did I tell you the FDA is a dangerous weapons distributor...
And George wants to drop bombs in Iran?
(what was that amendment he made a year or so ago about staying in office in times of war? Martial Law or something)
I really do hope someone would finally impeach this guy at that point! If we have a government worth supporting at all...
The Republicans aren't even sure how to run in the aftermath of the current republican government...
In all actuality I think those guys need some serious relaxation time... Something has really taken on toll on thier reasoning a little RnR may be in order... If not can't we at least commit them like we do alot of people that seem to be having nervous breakdowns...
Can't we throw em out and bring in a new party... They are only useful if we feel the need for a bully on the playground... but most people really prefer the no bullying policy!!!
Hell that would be first on the VETO list if we can't even give middle class kids medical coverage or relief!
REALLY MAKES ME WONDER ABOUT THE WHOLE FREE MEDICAL TO THE DIRT POOR Tho...
If your not willing to relieve the workers... what exactly are you doing to the poor with all that medical coverage?
Excessive tests... just don't get me started...
I'm discovering I am a little better off left to my own devices with MediCal as an option...
They'll twist yer head and give you anything they can convince you you've got...
Though I gotta give em credit for Trauma... they seem to have real purpose there...
Isn't that enough to keep em busy... or are there just too many doctors to support...
Those student loans must really be hell!
I suppose no medical to the struggling middle class aids in forclosures too...
No more refinancing the house... Forclosure Forclosure Forclosures .
Seize all land and property... and divide us into Rich & Poor... although in case they have forgotten history...
Thats a pretty dangerous climate for a government...
80 degrees in Conneticut in early october... actually everywhere but the North West..

CAN THE DEMOCRATS SAVE THE DAY?

Though 22 republicans are retiring from the senate this election... (Who made bank under this president?)
Maybe the screwed generation of politicians has finally had thier day...
Que Sera Sera... Whatever will be will be...
Please get out of the damn way so we can save our forsaken country.

I still hold fast to the light... but cannot help but be perplexed...
And hoping Jah is guiding me... to the right place for the right times...
I will be holding space until the madness passes... we need to bless the land...
and if I love you well... and you need to retreat... there could be space...
Though I am looking forward to some solitude...
I am ready for some secure space... The further I journey off the Grid...
The more grounded, happy, and peacefull I feel...
I wonder what thats all about...

Keep your hearts open that the loan goes through... and I will have cheap rent too!
Its looking really positivo... an extremely insane buy...
Sat, October 6, 2007 - 12:30 AM permalink - 3 comments
 
Pharmacueticals = The worlds most dangerous Biological Weapon of mass destruction...

Kind of wierd to look at it like that...
Wed, June 27, 2007 - 12:32 AM permalink - 1 comment
 
I so love this town...
I breeze into my favorite coffee house...
A couple of my Favorite people walk in as I sit down...
Then we've all gathered on the sidewalk where people are crafting it up...
Drinking Chai...
Warm Welcome...
Gathered later in my friends courtyard...
sewing chinese silk onto my babies carrier...
Leather Work...
Painting...
While watching the life of Cole Porter...
Its like a New Orleans moment...
Without being New Orleans...
Constantly seeing myself in all of those around me...
(Which is a fantastic sign of the kind of place it is)
Everyone is familiar...
And this is also the place where I get my head right...
As I also have a friend here that does Cranial Sacral...
It is soooo amazing getting your Head Aligned!

Another Circle Set... As it was about 8 months ago when this adventure truly began... right here...
When I got the Galactic Shuttle...
And now I am back... In the Galactic Ride...
Pondering as ever my evolution...
Sharing my energy...
Loving my tribe.
Thu, June 21, 2007 - 12:47 AM permalink - 0 comments
 
So I am officially heading North...
Towards Eugene...
A little North of Arcata at one of my favorite camping spots...
Lovin it.
Oregonia here I come...

Is anyone affiliated with CONTACT and can let me know anything... I have been trying to get through to them about bringing the bus up but have had no word...

Anyways... regardless... I will see you Oregonians soon.... LOOOOOOOOOOVe U!
J
Sat, June 16, 2007 - 6:08 PM permalink - 1 comment
 
I have been pondering my growth quite deeply lately...
How I have suddenly began to approach everything in my life in a more evolved way..
Slowly... patiently...gently... peacefully...

How many of the trappings of the old world of materialism & vanity have simply disappeared from my life...
Though so many for some reason still find me a threat... (this I will never understand)

Though I find materialism tricky indeed...
as when all your desires sit there at your disposal it is so easy to fall back into the world of illusions.
The Great Hall of Mirrors.
The Castle of Want.

I shall remain focused on my intent.

Looking closely at all the cosmic coincindences that keep me afloat on this path that is most definitely
supported by something more than just my hard work, determination and optimism.

How through my belief in the power of manifestation I have begun to truly manifest all the things that I want to be
a part of my reality.

How I am truly becoming me.
Even the one I always dreamed I would be...

How the fear is dissipating.

How somehow no matter what happens... no matter how difficult...
Everything works out...
Quite Miraculously most of the time...
so much so that I find less & less need to worry.

Even though I am this lone momma with baby on hip & son as sidekick.
Even though I have been down to the dollar... though never for long... never for very long.
And food is always abundant...
and I can always do some gardening if need be.

Jah has never left me stranded.

Great Spirit guides me without a map
and it is the only way to travel as I have travelled many ways.

And there is so much to see...
and home is there... waiting for me...
Wherever I want it to be...
beautifully...
Nestled
in the belly of the mother...
I discover
ancient songs
never hidden
yet never sung...
as we bring forth the ancient story...
waiting for the elders to join together as one.
To reclaim what belongs to them and the sun...
Oh children of the ancient ones...
Step forward and lead the way...
So we can return to our true selves
in a more evolved way.

I am simply basking in the glow of the flow... and felt the need to share.



Mon, June 11, 2007 - 6:14 PM permalink - 3 comments
 
MY my my...
How life just bursts open in the blink of an eye...
I am setting up an allstar line up for my new career leanings...
Thus far
Reggae Rising (DJ)
Burning Man (Camera Assist)
& Earth Dance... (Camera Assist)

The path ever unfolding though the Direction becoming somewhat directed...
Believe in the power of Manifestation.
Jesaka
Thu, June 7, 2007 - 12:04 PM permalink - 0 comments
 
The vast road...
unfolding like a lotus flower...
exposing all the hidden secrets lurking in the landscape...
buried treasure there... there... and right there particularly.

all the different clans uniting in strange & amazing places...

They have forgotten their clan names...
though in a way the lines of separation are erased...
The Ancient disagreements forgotten...
The colors blending into a sea of unique beauty.
We are becoming one again...

I think it frightens the think tanks
to think that someday separation
could be erased from our memory banks
Unification being the controllers
worst enemy...

And so we meet again my friend
and if I tell you the secrets I know
will you believe them...
Or will you laugh and say...
Anyway...

Today tomorrow
Where are we going
being plagued amidst the ruins
of a falling empire
the last esquire...
scrounging up the last dollars
for thier day under the sun...

And who will they follow without the world of print
to map out thier dramas
like day time tv
Keep them confused and it becomes hard for them to see the hypocrisy,,,
Keep them consumed and they wont have time to see the hypocrisy...

And the Hypocrites prevail as Hippocrates goes stale...
and great minds don't get to live out thier lifetimes...

But I hold tight to the divine
and know that Karma is entwined
and every day it gets more and more amazing...
To live a path without fear knowing Jah Spirit IS there...
and that divine miracles lie within all the struggles...
we reach that plane where things simply remain...
and we jump in and out of these silly alternate realities...
Gratitude... Intent... Humility...
Praise Jah.



Wed, June 6, 2007 - 3:21 PM permalink - 1 comment
 
So I am sitting after getting all the equipment hooked up and recording my latest Hip Hop mix to drop on venues when I fly through... Ahhhhh... those little moments of completion where we tie up those little swinging ribbons on the highway of our dreams...
It sounds so fly. I will get the mix up at some point...

The uploading of the video is still on hold as I am downloading & upgrading... and well simply learning a thing or two... I musta hit on something in the video direction as the world has just opened up in massive ways... and its looking to become an illustrious career...

I shall look forward to the next time I brake down on the side of the road.
(It's kinda like the universe said... you can stop.....right......here. )
I love the magic that is life... embrace it... its quite the adventure!
J
Fri, June 1, 2007 - 4:33 PM permalink - 2 comments
 
I just want to re-iterate to everyone...
If you embrace the moment...
Stay focussed in your intent
and walk in truth.
You can manifest anything...
and even sometimes everything...
in one moment...
and never get bummed in the struggles...
cause they often hold the greatest rewards
if you remain open to recieve them.
Thu, May 31, 2007 - 12:30 PM permalink - 1 comment
 
I highly recommend it...
Thier Creation Story makes a ton of sense...
Re-iterates why the voices of the ancient ones continue to re-surface...
and it resonates deeply... and I start to wonder if one of these random rocks I have picked up might fit on the edge of thier broken tablet...
even if not.... I do believe these are my people...
and that a pilgrimage is definitely in order...

On top of it all... They have managed to hold tight to the true values...
The same ones I instinctually live by...
Not getting warped by the values that have destroyed humanity again and again...
as we watch the destruction escalate every day...

still singing thier songs to the creator...
still hearing the voice of guidance within...

and what is so abstact about our sky father and earth mother
that these people have been misunderstood for centuries...
and how they knew all that would unfold...
and how they watch now...
knowing that they have found that sacred space
where they are protected...

Is that not what we all migrate for to all ends of the continent?
How many of us have the spirit of our true people swimming around within...
trying to guide us back to our ancient values...
in the midst of a world clouded by materialism
vanity
jealousy
and greed...

I am on my way... back to the source...
Tue, May 22, 2007 - 11:30 AM permalink - 0 comments
 
There in that crevice...
do you see it?
Its a drama unfolding
Maybe I should just sit here and stare at it
until this crevice becomes a crack
the crack becomes a hole
gaping at me with absolute shock
as though I were to blame for its extending circumstances...

I stare for a brief moment...
and walk away...
I have seen many dramas unfolding before me...
dragging me into its tidal wave
stuck in its whirling system
of make or break
fight or flight...

but not tonight
for I can see that crevice
gaping at me
trying to lure me into its unending cycle
of blame and shame and self pity....

Oh no
Not tonight
for now I will take flight
with the wings of the phoenix
to be born again
in the eyes of a friend
Drama Free
and WHOLE!

and now when I see those little cracks... I float off into a sea of serenity...
for once again I am free
to design....
The next line.
Sat, May 19, 2007 - 5:36 PM permalink - 1 comment
 
Here is something I posted in the IC tribe and wanted to share with others...

Funny enough... when simply seeking community it has been bits and bobs... spuratic and sometimes downright strange...

and ironically in the WWOOFers guide there are hundreds of communities/farms all over the place with work and space... though often short term... many need workers for up to six months and some even offer pay...

Starting out WWOOFing now in America as opposed to Africa I am finding loads of community... and those little short working stays are great for getting a feel for the community and your place in it... also a nice way to ground if you are a perpetual traveller like myself...

I am finding it a much easier way to explore community, educate myself in what is needed for community, while learning tools and trades that are vital for community... therefore giving you a long list of things to offer that community that you are out there seeking.

I am just a little curious why this discussion has not been explored more extensively here on IC... as I have used this tribe many times to connect and seek community... and it has been helpful... though I have to say for those seriously seeking community a little WWOOFing tour is a great way to explore what is expected and what it takes to be a valuable part of an intentional community... I highly recommend it to anyone whether you only have a month to explore community, or whether you are a nomad out there trying to find the "right" community... you may even find it while you are WWOOFing...

Another aspect for those community people to consider that really need help but deep down don't really want or are not quite ready for the extension of community...(new people actually living long term in the community) get your name in the WWOOFers guide and you can be straight about the work you need done... how many hours you expect people to work... what accomodation or pay you are able to offer etc... how long you want them to stay... even stipulating a trial period... and the WWOOFer bunch seemingly is pretty nice bunch and generally... ready to get to work... with a passion to learn and do the work that needs to be done...

Its been the most valuable bridge to community I have discovered yet... and though many of you already know I just felt the need to expound it all again... right here... right now... From the Chestnut Orchard in Mendocino County CA where I am making the gardens beautiful again after a long winter... fed and sheltered... getting paid a bit... and enjoying the hell out of myself... and getting closer and closer to community every day...

Went to dinner at an IC down the way that is fully in Villiage mode with several families and just fantastic... may do some WWOOFing there next time I am around... See ya'll out there!

Hell maybe one day I might even put down some roots of my own.
Tue, May 8, 2007 - 7:55 PM permalink - 0 comments
 
Chico was fantastic... Funky and free... Finished the first Episode of Create Your Own Reality... must just get to a fast connection to upload it...

Freedom Dance... in Tehama at the Tehama Gold Olive Oil Mill... 3 days of family, fun, and drumming...

Now WWOOFing in the Medocino Mountainous... Chestnut Orchard Style... making the grounds beautiful... rediscovering another passion... the work of working with the earth really cannot be topped... particularly when your getting paid a little too... I think this will be a very nice way to ground in between the travels... plenty of places to park a bus when you got a green thumb to let run around in the roots...

Loving life as ever... particularly consistent now that I have fled the city and left the system behind me...

Love to all...

Heading to Joshua Tree Music Fest if anyone is looking for transport around the 17th... Lemme know... Will trade transport for vending space.

Jesaka
Sat, May 5, 2007 - 7:34 PM permalink - 2 comments
 
Laid back...
Decmpressing from the city... and as my back has started to relax I realize I could prolly use a little Reike and a full moon for my stones... for recovering from the city...

Working the eco fest on Saturday...
May Appear on a Radio show...
Djing next week....
Maybe putting together an event next weekend...
Relaxed, Open, fun little town...

Was busting rhymes on the street outside of a Jam Band Show...

Feel more in my skin and ready for formulating the next manifestation...

Driven to say the least... to get this flow on the go... so I can relax and eliminate some of the fears
that somehow seeped in through the tiny cracks somewhere in my conciousness...
I see how they do it... use fear to keep us complacent...
Because when we finally get the courage to break out of it all...
We must face the fear of... "Will they allow me this freedom?"

All because I see another way that suites me better... which had something to do with the freedom from all the cell phone/tv/radio waves...
Freedom from all the demands of civilization water bills, electricity, traffic, etc etc etc food growing outside your window... Sheep in the yard... home made of earth... That was the last time I was free. But you do realize what is actually enslaving us... Money. The seed that is planted in just about everything is money... They should probably add it to the food chain... Money eats man.

Like a deer caught in headlights I reflect on the last month or so...

Its been wierd experiencing the fear that follows attempts at total freedom...
We are not free...
Every town I pull into I have to evaluate how they may re-act to the bus... though I have yet to have a problem...
Do I park on the street... or seek out a patch of land...
Luckily the government does provide many patches of land for us to venture and stay on...
Though they are not always easy to find or are simply not nearby.

But the sooner I move through this year and map out my circle... the sooner I can start to relax as I move through this journey... unrebellious
yet totally abstract... I never felt this fear when I lived in a loft, wore a suit, and drove a mustang... I think thier plan is working.

Jesaka

Fear is the Mind Killer.
(Dune)

Thu, April 19, 2007 - 3:39 PM permalink - 1 comment
 
Check it out...
and what a horrid thumbnail!
Jesaka
Last Words on the American Dream
www.youtube.com/watch
Tue, April 17, 2007 - 10:31 PM permalink - 5 comments
 
Nestled in Ridge Resort out here in Nevada City...
For free even...

Trees... fresh air...
Peace.

Slow inhalations...
Ahhhhhh...

I have been aching to get here for a month...

My relationship with the city of SF has taken a serious knock in the last year or so...
(The story is so long if you don't already know it... it would take some time)

my hustle & bustle days are over...

As an eternal city girl I had never truly been able to see it until I returned from Africa...
I had never truly understood this country until I left it for an extended period...
The city is so on the surface...

What is truly at its depths?
The mechanical workings of mass consumerism...
Working for the rent... and doubly hard for the ability to do that which you truly...love

Some have mastered it...
and when I had it mastered there was no place else in the world...
but as the illusion burned
as that kind of mastering is not my thing anymore...
I ventured elsewhere...
and experienced contrast...

Oh and...
I told the system that I didn't want them in my life...
that I need to travel...
officially out of the box now off the grid.

Oh yeah and I made it to nevada city on a quarter of a tank of gas... (about 30 miles past Sacramento)
So it looks as though I get about 400 miles to a full tank at about $125...
Gotta love Diesel...

More soon... time to truly decompress...
maybe in the Hot tub even...

Whats really cool is if I become a member
pay 70 bucks a month for five years
I get to stay here for free and many others... for the rest of my life...
14 days in 7 days out of course....
There are some requirements but I seem to have them covered.

Really digging this lifestyle...
J
Mon, April 16, 2007 - 7:59 PM permalink - 1 comment
 
I have some work opportunity on the Jersey shore this summer...
Does anyone know the vibe out there?
J
Sun, April 15, 2007 - 9:30 PM permalink - 1 comment
 
Well all the car abundance came to a karmic realization this week...
School bus parts are not cheap...
So after pouring a grand into an entirely new braking system it looks as though our mechanical woes are over...
Though paralell parking a school bus takes a few eyes I must say....

Galactic will be travelling with a new momma by the weekend...
She must've liked Arizona cause she's going back there...

And now for something completely different...
I have a little half baked intro for Create your own reality TV...
I just have to figure out how to get it up on the web...
which will require some time and prolly a strong and less pirated wifi connection...

Grass Valley looks to be our next destination
with a stop off for some community in Sonoma...

I cannot wait to flee the city... A city I love no doubt
but cities in general take me out.

Then who knows...
The guy I worked with in Tuscon is calling me to the East Coast...
which I have to say is tempting as I believe this bus requires a sizable back up plan
and getting the resources out of the perpetual day to day zone is a good idea...
opposed to the usual maifest miracles where they lay with galactic.

Though it will be very strange to venture out of my comfort zone...
IS there medical mj on the east coast?
hmmmm....

Anyways love to all...
finally free from five days in mechanic land...




Tue, April 10, 2007 - 10:53 PM permalink - 1 comment
 
I'm pirating freedom...
and wifi...
and these city streets...
wow how many years did I spin
cause this month of city leaves me beat...
Have you stopped for a moment to think
ABOUT ALL THE FRIGGIN WASTED PAPER!

And exactly how much mail did you recycle this month?

How much of this month has been consumed by...
Gathering the Proper documents
Standing in line
Filling out some form
sitting in traffic
holding on the phone
Haggling with some beaurocratic representative...
Eating bad food
Waiting for mail to be delivered
(MOST OF UR MONTH MIND YOU)
(usually only to find it has been improperly filled out and must be re-submitted)
AND DON'T FORGET TO ENCLOSE THE FEE!
MY my my my my... The demands of the city...

I'm am going to crawl into a cave somewhere near by and wait patiently to sell galactic...
Somewhere beautiful and within an hours drive
(my god there are sooooooo many)
Somewhere with green leaves
and blue skies
and birds
and trees!

Did you know that loads of the state parks are now offering wifi! Craziness...
So if I manage to find one with a space open

Somewhere between wifi and digital camera... something is bound to emerge...

must...............get.........away............before.......I...........cannot.......leave.....
ahhhhh what a vicious cycle...




Thu, April 5, 2007 - 12:24 AM permalink - 1 comment
 
Wow...
The power of manifestation abounds...
The everflowing journey unfolding...
Finding support for my purpose
though mostly from the cosmic energies
inspiration all around from the land bound...

Formulating the intro for
The Manifest Station
Featured Programming
"Create Your own Reality TV"

Yes yes
the cauldron is brewing
(The Cauldron being my favorite card in the Tao Oracle)
(read it if you got it)

Azrad is a rather aspiring filmaker/inventor

and well Zion she is just pure light
Her smile truly lights up a room...

Things are about to get really fun and interesting...

Must sell Galactic and the next leg of the journey begins!
Stay tuned

Love toooooo ALL!
J
Tue, April 3, 2007 - 12:50 PM permalink - 0 comments
 
Woooohooo....
Moving on up...
Tons of space for sleeping/sitting
Shower/Kitchen/Toilet

Keep your eyes open for:
"Create your own Reality TV"
manifested an HDD Digital Video Camera for the means...
(Launching as soon as I formulate the plan for it)
Principle features of programming "Freedom & Manifestation"

I don't know if you guys have been paying attention but just so you know...
"I think the secret really works!"
J

Sun, April 1, 2007 - 11:14 AM permalink - 0 comments
 
Sedona... ahhhhh....
Sun, March 4, 2007 - 8:53 PM permalink - 0 comments
 
Between SF & San Diego...
what to do...
what to do...
J
Sun, March 4, 2007 - 8:02 PM permalink - 0 comments
 
Sit before the sacred Crystal Altar
(most stones represented)
Cleanse...
Enjoy tea ceremony...
Relax.
Share anything needed to be released
enjoy an I-Ching reading...
Cleanse...
Sage burning
Cleanse...
Let all Float into the abyss
and get tuned...

Soma Energetic Tuned Frequencies for aligning the Chakras...
$75.00 up to 45 minutes...
$120.00 if session extends over 1 hour...

Available anywhere in the Bay Area/Santa Cruz... From March 3rd to March 7th

Book now for Southern California!
March 10-17
Sat, March 3, 2007 - 9:02 PM permalink - 0 comments
 
San Diego was fantastic and abundant...
Caught some reggae vibes... and jams...
Sold some wares...

Venice beach/Santa Monica was rather windy but we promised to meet again soon...

SF was a beaurocratic moment that passed quickly...
Welfare, Social Security cards, Medical Marijuana oh my...
...though I was pulled there and my good friend gave birth the day I arrived... Wooohooo...
Bella gave birth to a beautiful little girl for those in the know.

Now I am nestled up in the Santa Cruz Mountains... musing some larger ideas for the future... Wow what a view.

Grass Valley is on the Horizon and a good friend has a room for rent up there if anyone is looking...

I do plan to head back down south too if anyone needs some transport... share costs etc...

My B'day is on the ninth too... anyone interested in gathering somewhere?

Oh and there is a spectacular community outside of Tuscon if anyone wants specs.

More soon...
J




Fri, March 2, 2007 - 12:11 PM permalink - 0 comments
 
Motivating back west... though levitating towards the north... Any weather reports from the Cali Coast...
Jesaka
Thu, February 22, 2007 - 6:41 PM permalink - 1 comment
 
Wow I have fallen into a little Vortex...
The Tuscon Gem & Mineral Show is a must for all!!! What a blast...

Much Thanks to:
Jah Levi
with my elestial in the room I could hear the angels behind your vocals & vocalists! Thanks so much for the energy and inspiration...
Jah Jah IS THE WAY!
Love & Light!

Arjun & The Guardians...
Thanks for the Reggae Ragga Chanting down babylon
I needed to dance and meditate...

Thanks to all the spirits locked within the earths core bringing such a beautiful gathering of beings from all corners of the world together to move into the greater reality!!!

Thanks to Terra Sante...
A beautiful community outside Tuscon where I have still yet to stray from in the last few bits... for showing me how open, warm, trusting and easy it is to just come together and work together... just like that....
Leave your egos by the highway and step inside...

Love to all... life is good...
Going to trade some of these precious goods I have collected... enjoy community... then move towards Sedona... though I don't know when...

new tools for the trade:
Chakra tuning forks
and lotsa stones for laying on!
Wed, February 14, 2007 - 9:16 PM permalink - 1 comment
 
Hell yeah... what a smorgasbord of delectible treats... music... cheap buys and amazing people! I am having a fabulous time...
Saw a group called Arjun & The Guardians last night... if you like Reggae Dub Indian Chanting down Babylon buy it now!!!! I haven't danced like that in ages! Music you can feel to the depths...

I can pretty much trade for everything but gas here!

Life is good...
The Flow is fantastic...
I think its going to be more difficult for me to get stuck in wierd vortexs in the future!
J
Fri, February 2, 2007 - 1:12 PM permalink - 1 comment
 
Do not stay
where life does not support you
for it may break you if YOU let it...
Do not stay
where the spirit becomes weary or lost
for it is our light on the path...
Do not stay
in the depths of darkness
for it is only thier to teach us how to appreciate the light...
Do not stay
when love is not shared
for there is so much love out there...
Do not stay
Where fear oppresses
for fear is only in our head...
Do not stay
depressed
for happiness is a simple choice...
Do not stay
stuck
where joy cannot find you
for something is obviously telling you to go.

And in the flow
are the most beautiful gifts
and in the flow
people appreciate your wisdom
and in the flow
are places unimaginable
where every moment
seems an abundant journey
toward things we don't even know...

Why do we need to know?

Accept all things with joy understanding and compassion
and move onward for life is an experience
and education without an end...
until the next experience begins...
Tue, January 30, 2007 - 8:37 AM permalink - 4 comments
 
I was touched
to the depths
by a marauding stranger
that I knew like a soul mate
if only for a moment
if only for a moment

If only for a moment
he could see the space beyond
where two become one
undone
and yet still two
individual
of the usual concept
of love
& relationships...

you know the one... the one that makes you prefer singularity...

in my clarity I begin to hope that there is something different...

For my concepts run deeper
than vanity...
and I wait patiently
for the one that has spanned

with his ancient hands
he touched me
like that old soul
I knew before
when life was more
than this perpetual whoring we breed today...

this insanity
that unity has been turned to...
love of vibrant red orange hue
leaves all fearful
of the blue
seperation...

but not me... for I am self contained
and in passing nothing but beauty remains
no sadness
no remorse
no drama or pushing the force...

why do we torture ourselves
by the unfulfilled wants
of things not meant to be
or possibly simply not yet to be?

I accept that all things must end...
particularly in order for some things to begin...

for love always transforms
if we are able to bend
with the flow

knowing

when one door closes another always opens.

I remain grateful
for the touch
of something bigger
who cares if its all in my head...
its simply beautiful.

together or apart
I am touched.
Sun, January 28, 2007 - 5:08 PM permalink - 2 comments
 
Wed, December 6, 2006 - 6:11 PM permalink - 0 comments
 
Wed, December 6, 2006 - 5:32 PM permalink - 1 comment
 
So many different shapes
have the creatures of this planet....
This ones rather cute...
Wed, December 6, 2006 - 5:09 PM permalink - 0 comments
 
I love my backyard...

Mobility is fantastic...
Dancing wildly in the midst of all Humanities fears...
As usual...

They say "If you are free you must be crazy"
Something could happen to you...
I think to myself
if only you knew what your doctors do.

Has humanity become afraid to move?
Thier plan it seems is working.

I think of the nature of the ancients...
My Explorer nature never rests...

Our forefathers
are appalled
at what we've become
Divided we are falling
and nothings being done
A nation under the gun
and who will rebuild this country
when the battle isn't won?

And all the people have to do to reclaim thier power'
is to stop consuming...
if only for one day
because that is where
american power now lays...

My hometown
Drowned
yet I believe that home is best
so I search for my ancient homeland

where my dust settles... to rest
Like a wave upon the sea.

but today So many have forgotten how to be free...

Chasing my joy like a wild child on an unknown road...
its time to unload

whats happened to our spirit of adventure
Theres is such a bigger picture
Than these lines of seperation
deeper meditations
Call for the barriers to be broken
Lost in all my hoping
that we can bridge these mishaps...
and stop falling into the same damn traps...

I watch the Cinemagraphics of my generation
Contrasting desensitization...
Kids today find what scared us then hilarious...

And like the barbaric of ages gone by
we still find delight in others torture...
Yet today they just act it out.
and it no longer freaks anyone out...

I just can't help but feel so many negative aspects of the world
are so unecessary...
Maybe one day the latest trend
will be the Primitive
and we will run back to the land
the true nature of man...
and we'll remember how to live
simply.

Wed, December 6, 2006 - 5:04 PM permalink - 0 comments
 
This is a lovely place... may have to settle there someday...People were chill... warm...
Fri, December 1, 2006 - 5:32 PM permalink - 1 comment
 
Didn't stay in Carmel though... was the first place I have been that the bus wasn't inconspicous...
Tue, October 31, 2006 - 9:23 PM permalink - 0 comments
 
Santa Cruz was lovely... Though I didn't stay but a day... I am aching to get south... to territory yet explored... Love to all in Santa Cruz that I saw... and also to those I missed... See you next time.
Tue, October 31, 2006 - 9:19 PM permalink - 1 comment
 
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