Survived

I pretty much survived the move and we are pretty much settled into our new place now. It was a pretty stressful time, with work, holidays, remembrances, but we lived. :) The place is beautiful and we are getting alone really well.

My ex decided to start hounding me for money and gifts he gave me when we were still together. He wants them back. I suspect he must be going through hard time financially but he has a very false sense of entitlement. This was a pattern throughout our relationship. At any rate, I'm not his mummy and I can never even look at him again for the way he treated me when we were together almost two years ago (together three years). He also choose the *perfect* time to start knocking on my door. He is definitely looking for a reaction from me and he's not going to get it. It all started about 2-3 weeks ago with emails. I kindly told him no. Then phone calls. Today, he went to my job!! Then the receptionist called me, I told her I didn't want to see him and she was able to think quickly on her toes and eventually he left. I will continue to ignore in hopes he get it through his thick skull not to contact me again. Next step? I'm not sure yet.

Getting Closer...

...to the end of 2006!

I've been absent from Tribe for a while due to work, relationships and immediate moving (tomorrow in fact) and needing some space on what would have been my baby's second birthday. In memory, I will knit a blanket once I get somewhat settled.

I am currently drowning in boxes and dust. The movers will be tomorrow at 8:30 to take me from my Oakland studio to a 4-bedroom house in Kensington. Though I will be in hog heaven over having some space again, a driveway "gourmet kitchen" closer to work, and many other perks, there are certain aspects of my current neighborhood I will miss. But it isn’t like I would be very far either. We thought about moving farther north, but for now, the East Bay is still best for us.

Time for more packing!

The Holidays

A question about the holidays was asked in a tribe I belong to. I had to think about it for a while before I responded:

Thanksgiving - I usually "celebrate" TG with friends - I don’t have many family. This year my SO and I may get out of town (short trip).

December 1 - My birthday, but I rarely celebrate. Actually, I can’t remember the last time I did.

December 21 through 23 - Is going to be the 2-year anniversary of losing my baby. From finding out his heart stopped via ultrasound to giving birth. Unfortunately, I will be working through the 22nd but will be able to take some time off between after the 22nd and New Years.

X-Mas - Never really celebrated it. SO isn’t big on it either.

New Years - Maybe a quiet night at home or with friends.

__________________

Despite some of the sadness that I face in the coming weeks, this year will be so much better than last: Unemployed and working 12 a day a temporary job I didn’t like and still couldn’t make ends meet and alone facing some major challenges in my life. A year later, life has improved for me dramatically in ways I could not imagine 365 days ago. A lot of this improvement had to do with the encouragement and support I received from some of my friends on tribe - even the ones I never met in person.

These changes and improvements wasn’t without a great deal of sadness and pain along the way, even as I speak, but trust me, things are much better.

Long Time

Since I last wrote, I have been much better physically. I am back up to 5+ miles running a few days a week with some other training in between that. I am still dealing with the hospital bills now in hopes that the hospital charity thing can kick in for me since I had NO income of any kind in almost two months. None.

My temp assignment is doing well; I just ended my third week. At this point, I am on autopilot but doing all I can to hold on to this job. In the past week, I did get a job offer from a company I've been in communication with. The first job offer in over a year, but the position was suddenly eliminated and offer revoked just yesterday. I was going to start on the 1st, great salary and full benefits and now...nothing. Right now, I am just tired and sick of the chase; tried of this game. At this point, though no benefits and mediocre salary, I’m just going to focus on this temp assignment until it ends. I'm not going to f*** it up trying to interview on my lunch break. I can only do so much at this point and I need income right here right now.

A little nervous

For the first time since the end of December, I have a temp job. This an Executive Assistant position for a investment/securities firm. It will start Wednesday, but I have to go in for a half a day tomorrow to fill out paperwork, background check information, get set up with IT, building access, etc. I am soooo happy, but a bit nervous as I am will all new jobs I start. Hopefully, this will get my mind off some other things (and of course, money in my pocket!).

So far most things are going well. Most of the worries and concerns of last week; illness, rent, etc I managed to take care of. I hate to struggle like this week after week, but I am proud of myself for getting though yet another month without a formal job. This job will make things much easier.

I wish the things in my more personal life wasn’t so dramatic. It almost seems like a bad opera buffa: too many characters, not much of a plot.

Getting Back in Gear

Though I know I am to "take it easy" whatever the hell that means, I did about 45 minutes on my bike. Today at a slower pace though I still broke a nice sweat. Though I still feel like someone wrung me out and hung me up to dry, I feel slightly more energetic. Very crucial in case I get called in for a spur of the moment temp assignment.

I'm starting to eat a little more too, and I must for the medication. Monday, I had next to nothing: an apple in the morning when I still felt alive but strange. Yesterday I had a ton of water, unsweetened cranberry, a little liquid chlorophyll, and brown rice and miso (when I felt well enough to make something quick). Today I didn’t have much: ground flax seeds mixed with water, cranberry, pomegranate - not very tasty, but it worked. Popcorn later in the afternoon.

I hope the workout will work up my appetite. :)

No Plan D

Its the first of the month and I am without a plan. Specifically a plan for my rent. Despite the "doctors orders" I stayed up for most of the night (sleeping at 5:00am, and getting up at 7:00). How could I sleep at a time like this? Not that staying up is very productive, but I stayed pretty wired in a crisis situation.

In other news, I heard back from 2 of 2 of the companies I've been waiting to hear back from.

Job #1 - Office Manager Position; had two in person interviews (the first one being two hours long) and a very early phone interview with the HR department this past Monday - DECLINED. "We liked you a lot, but the other canidate had more direct experience".

Job #2 - Sales/marketing position (forgot the exact title). I heard back and "they" are getting together today to figure out what to do next.

Nice. Very nice. Wonderful.

Anyway, I did get a call from one of my agencies, and they *might* have an assignment for me. *Might*

In other news, I still feel a bit like crap, but better than yesterday. :D

Sick Update #2

Eventually, I did end up going to the ER last night around 9:00 when I felt slight better enough to drive - BAD idea. When I got there my temp was almost 103, and I am sure it was higher earlier in the day when was seeing things and had a very incoherent phone conversation with a recruiter (at least I thought I did). I don’t know why I answered.

Anyway, I did have a kidney infection, spent the night there (at the hospital),, now home on antibiotics, feeling better, was told to "take it easy for the next *few weeks* (as if) and come back if I feel worse. There, wrapped up in one sentence.

I hope to get some sort of Mediwhatever write off. Normally, I don’t qualify for government assistance, but under the circumstance, it *might* be something that qualifies for something. Lets hope.

I would like to thank everyone for the phone calls and emails. Of course I'll thank you personally.