Spock's A Chubby-Chaser!!!!

Capitan Kirk may get all the Green women, but Spock has a thing for the fatties.

www.amazon.com/Full-Body-...ef=pd_bbs_1

I Got Dumped.

We weren't in a relationship per se so I can't really be dumped, but I was definitely rejected.

I dated this guy for about 3 months all told. From what I could tell he was interested etc... I won't go into the whole story, as its the same ol "oh yeah I like you, you're so pretty" then he falls off the planet. Rather than say that he wasn't interested any longer we just had polite conversations via IM and made dates which he bailed on last minute. I guess I was just supposed to read his mind and intuitively know what was up for the last month.

What makes me feel like a REAL duche is that I bought him some little things for Christmas. My guess is that he decided after the last time we had sex (say early December) then was REAL busy for the rest of the month and just neglected to say anything covering with being with family, having car issues and being sick (all real and true I'm sure, just conveniently used to avoid me). So rather than just coming out and saying that he had lost the proverbial boner for me, he just let me ride it out coming to my house for Christmas leftovers and his present.

I was by no means in love with this dude. Maybe in deep lust with his nether regions and deep like with the rest of him. Mostly, I really thought we had become friends. To be totally clear, I never made the whole BF/GF speech nor did I even hint at it. I was upfront with wanted to date around (which I didn't end up doing, but that was the intention) and later that I liked him a lot. Anywho... point being, I didn't want or need to see him every day. Once a week, twice a month - whatever we both had time and inclination for mostly for sex and a hang out buddy, a friend. But after having to ask WTF was up with us never talking, or going out etc... he finally said something to the effect that he wanted to avoid me to the point of not even saying hello when I was online and that he had just lost interest because we are a bit too different, but didn't want to tell me until he had made the decision. My guess would be he met someone else and didn't want to totally write me off till he had a spare in the trunk.

Whatever. I'm not hurt that he doesn't want to see me or that he potentially met someone else. It hurts that he didn't have the respect for me to tell me when he started drifting, which I see now specifically in the last time we went out. I see the disinterest played out in subtle ways. And that he doesn't even really consider me a friend. I feel like I killed his puppy.

What boggles my mind is why am I so disinteresting? Why is it sooo hard for me and sooo easy for everyone else?? I'm not talking about happy, delirious love, I'm just talking about finding people who express and maintain interest for more than ten minutes. Because from what I can tell I have a 3 date maximum for potential interest. Date one, I'm a sexy-curvey redhead - great. Date two, I'm a quirky-funny chick - okay. Date 3 (now that I'm interested in you) I'm disinteresting- flippin fantabulous.

I do have another date on Wed with a guy that I'm vaguely interested in. The best thing I can tell myself is do what comes easiest and get out into the world as much as I can muster. Other than that, I'm kinda out of self help. If I really believe what I say I believe that the real love relationship will come whether I hide in my house or go to singles events every night - in other words, I don't have a choice and he'll come or he won't. I'm trying to keep an open mind and a more open heart, but I'm starting to feel like the magical realm of love I used to believe in is dead for me. I don't believe in the Dharma & Greg's and Cinderella stories anymore. Which in one way is fantastic, and another limits me terribly.

Taking A Moment in the Confessional Booth

God I love him... I try so hard, but every time I see him be a total unabashed goof ball, I'm enraptured again. Siiiiigh.

You can read a goofy interview at
www.thesneeze.com/mt-archives/000408.php

Dating Bootcamp: Day 5 Self Love

How Do I Love Me?
Why the secret to finding true love begins with you!
By The Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway
Beliefnet
Updated: Oct 30, 2007

It is so important that we nourish ourselves -- body, mind and spirit -- and treat ourselves like goddesses. Being kind to oneself is a healthy habit to get into, and the best way to get into the groove is to set aside "Goddess Time" each week for you, and you alone!
We give so much to others, why be stingy with ourselves? Whether in a relationship, hoping to be, or simply enjoying single life, a date with ones self is a powerful metaphor for self-nourishment. And it is the first and most important step toward a balanced, loving relationships with others.

Where to begin? Imagine there is someone in your life you can depend on to pamper, heal and revitalize you, and treat you royally -- for at least a few undisturbed hours each week. Now, imagine that "someone" is YOU. Pick something that would bring you great pleasure -- an activity, an experience, or a material gift -- and agree to give it to yourself.
Start off with something simple. Try a "self-love bath."

Crown yourself Queen for a Day or Goddess for several hours a week -- and pamper yourself. Buy beautiful candles, scented oils, flowers. Draw a bath. Play relaxing and sensual music. Slip into the warm water, daydream and allow yourself to bask in the energy of love. It truly creates an impression in your own mind and spirit that you are someone who deserves royal treatment and who is willing to receive it! I cannot tell you how much a simple act of self-love will bring you closer to receiving pampering from others. At the most basic level -- a nice warm bath with candles is very relaxing and it gives you a chance to meditate. and get a new perspective on life.

How do I love me, let me count the ways. Other simple delights include: light a candle and relax in a favorite chair for 15 minutes; take yourself to a movie, out to dinner or to a museum exhibit you've been meaning to see; buy yourself a small gift. The best way to keep your soul nourished is to create an ongoing environment for this nourishment.

Date yourself regularly: Many of us take time out for ourselves just once in awhile and neglect to create the foundation for ongoing revitalization. Why not carve out time and put things in order so that you can access these experiences of self-love and care, regularly. This may mean keeping your favorite bath oil and candles on hand at all times. or ensuring that you have several hours a week alone, to yourself. Think of it this way. if you were dating someone special, wouldn't you go out of your way to make dates and focus attention on the relationship? Do it for yourself, first. this sets the groundwork for others to treat you like the goddess you are!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is all.

Dating Boot Camp Day 4 (cont): Overt vs Covert

I am the WORST at TMI. This seems to be a turn-off. Who knew.!?!

Do Men Believe in Love at First Sight?
Posted by David Zinczenko
health.yahoo.com/experts/m...irst-sight

Men Want: Covert Actions
They Don't Want: Overt Ones

Seems like a simple equation, doesn't it? He likes you, you like him, you end the night with a Chapstick taste test. Contrary to popular belief, a guy doesn't gauge your passion by how quickly you fall into bed with him. In fact, for many men, their level of intensity for a woman increases the less overt physical contact he has with her.

While men certainly have quick sexual motors, a slow, gradual revving of the engine is simply longer-lasting and more satisfying. That's why women should never underestimate the value and power of the slow tease. Unexpectedly grabbing his hand, grazing his thigh, or simply making eye contact across the room builds his attraction and multiplies that in-love feeling far better than a boozy kiss 20 minutes after your introduction.

Men Want: Mystery
They Don't Want: Full Disclosure

You know how it goes. A woman confesses her love early on and she's viewed as an overbearing, bioclock time bomb who wants to lock a man into a multi-year commitment. A man who confesses his love early is more desperate for attention than that dude who just got Tasered.

While some would argue that confessing true feelings is simply honest, I would argue that men and women should revel in the slow progression of getting to know each another. Yes, it's tempting to want to spill your soul about your life, your dreams, and your secret eyebrow-plucking habit when you feel an immediate connection.

But men rarely have the same knee-jerk reaction to bare all. Let the intimacy progress naturally and he'll be hooked - naturally. In a study of newly married couples, a full 86 percent of men said their relationship did indeed classify as love at first sight.

Men Want: Implication
They Don't Want: Conversation

There's one time men like getting The Talk. At halftime. In the locker room. By their coaches. Otherwise, men just don't take very well to man-up speeches and lectures-especially when it comes to a declaration of love and commitment. The Commitment Talk doesn't stoke the spark; it pulls the plug on it.

You can convey your feelings - and help him feel the same way - without having to broach the subject through the always awkward "where is this going" talk. How? Show you're into him by getting him involved a little bit in your future.

Invite him on a day trip next weekend, book tickets in advance for a concert or play, or ask him on a hiking trip with friends for next month. By thinking ahead and involving him in your plans, you show that you're devoted enough to invest time in him - without having to make it feel like union negotiations.

Men Want: Smoke Signals
They Don't Want: Billboards

For a man, three long hours of planning something special can be easier than saying three little words. Maybe you're eager to declare your commitment and ready to end every conversation with "I love you," but the sentiment can be hard for him to share - even if he feels the same way.

Why? Some men think that if they say those words, there's some kind of unwritten code that locks him into years of nagging about bathroom habits. Truth is, he takes those words seriously (if he didn't, it wouldn't be so hard). Although he may not reciprocate your grand gestures right away, it doesn't mean he's not feeling the same way.

He'll do it with a compliment, or offering to take your wheels to the carwash, or through some elaborately planned night of romance. For more of the secret needs and language men employ, check out 50 Things Men Wish You Knew.

The flip side? He also likes the same things in return: A compliment or passing innuendo is more likely to strengthen his interest than a premature confession of love. For many men, the excitement that's sparked early on becomes more intense as he unravels the clues that you're falling for him, too.

Have other ideas or stories about love at first sight and what occurs when you think you might be in the presence of The One? Share them here.

Dating Boot Camp Day 4: Understanding the Beast

I am the WORST at seeing it from a guy's perspective. I *just* realized that dudes are as intimidated of me as I am of them (often moreso see #42). I'm not saying I agree with all of this, nor do I think catering to men is the ultimate answer, I'm just making the trek toward understanding the beast. And, if a few ego strokes and flirting will help me along the way then so be it!

And if any dudes are reading this and would like to post an addendum or disagree with anything I'd love to know.

50 Things Men Wish You Knew
Universal Guy Truths
www.menshealth.com

1. Express yourself. It makes us proud, even if someone thinks you're wrong.
2. You look hot in running shoes and shorts. And that top thingy with the stripes.
3. Bare, tan shoulders are underrated.
4. If you think I’m speeding now, you should see me drive when you're not in the car.
5. If you're truly interested in us, don't play hard to get.
6. Shopping is a chore, not an activity.
7. When I screw up, go ahead and tell me--once.
8. No question need ever be asked through a closed bathroom door if I'm inside. I love you less with each syllable you utter.
9. I'm hot for you, not your sister or your friend or your coworker.
10. My guy friends. Not only are they not negotiable, they’re your best sign that I’m not a whack job.
11. Don't be afraid to ditch the makeup. Natural is sexier.
12. Leave the eyebrows alone. Plucked ain't pretty.
13. You can have sex with us any time you want. Seriously.
14. When the game is on, we will pay attention to you if you're nice about it. Bark, and we shut down.
15. I don't ask for directions because I’m just happy to be driving. Anywhere.
16. Masturbation is merely practice for the big game. Encourage it.
17. We crave hugs and hand-holding too. And no, it doesn't always have to lead to sex.
18. But you can have sex with us any time you want. Did we mention that?
19. There's no better sound in the world than you, having an orgasm.
20. Though the exhaust note of a Porsche Boxster is pretty damn fine, too.
21. I just may lie to make you feel good. Don’t be angry about this. You really weren't looking for the truth anyway.
22. When you get angry over some stupid little pointless thing, I question your intelligence.
23. You’re really bad at faking it.
24. If I offer my help while you're getting ready, it means you’re late.
25. Never ask me to pick out your outfit. (See above.) I will invariably get it wrong and make us even more late.
26. Giving me two or three choices, however, can be fun. Assuming you will change outfits in front of me. Slowly.
27. Err on the side of hot; I love to show you off.
28. Unless we're meeting my parents.
29. When you call us at work "just to chat," we're not really listening; we're checking our e-mail.
30. Spring means baseball and skirts. Doesn't need to be a mini-skirt; it's been a long winter.
31. Chicks who drink beer are hot. Better yet: chicks who drink beer and watch the game. Better still: chicks who buy us a beer during the game.
32. We don't mind being told we look good. Just don't call it a "cute outfit."
33. We love ponytails.
34. Being good in bed means a) enthusiasm; b) a sense of humor; and sometimes c) patience.
35. The first time? We're as nervous as you are.
36. A random unexpected grope is always welcome, even in public. Especially in public.
37. Make us laugh and we'll want to hang around.
38. Yes, I laugh really loud around the guys. And I always will, so deal.
39. Sure, men stereotypically like to solve a woman's problems. But a woman who solves her own while we watch? Instant erection.
40. You can pick the movie, but have a reason.
41. Do not expect to have a conversation via text message unless you use the words "naked" and "waiting."
42. Sometimes we wonder why any woman would want to be with us, much less someone as amazing as you. So, thanks.
43. Anytime you cook for us, we're happy.
44. If you can hit a golf ball 150 yards, we just might fall in love.
45. No, I don't remember what he said next. Or she. Or anybody, for that matter. I'm a guy, not a tape recorder.
46. We love you even more because you know we need to go out with the guys once in a while.
47. And we love it when you hang with us guys, too.
48. We have a keen sense of imminent danger. It sounds like, "Do you think she's pretty?"
49. Don't rely on us for keeping you up on the news.
50. Never say, "I know you better than you know yourself." Nobody does.