As It Is To Me

Spock's A Chubby-Chaser!!!!

TheseHands — Tue, 19 Feb 2008 19:43:41 GMT

Capitan Kirk may get all the Green women, but Spock has a thing for the fatties. http://www.amazon.com/Full-Body-Project-Photographs-Leonard/dp/0979472725/ref=pd_bbs_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1203450016&sr=8-1

I Got Dumped.

TheseHands — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 21:20:12 GMT

We weren't in a relationship per se so I can't really be dumped, but I was definitely rejected. I dated this guy for about 3 months all told. From what I could tell he was interested etc... I won't go into the whole story, as its the same ol "oh yeah I like you, you're so pretty" then he falls off the planet. Rather than say that he wasn't interested any longer we just had polite conversations via IM and made dates which he bailed on last minute. I guess I was just supposed to read his mind and intuitively know what was up for the last month. What makes me feel like a REAL duche is that I bought him some little things for Christmas. My guess is that he decided after the last time we had sex (say early December) then was REAL busy for the rest of the month and just neglected to say anything covering with being with family, having car issues and being sick (all real and true I'm sure, just conveniently used to avoid me). So rather than just coming out and saying that he had lost the proverbial boner for me, he just let me ride it out coming to my house for Christmas leftovers and his present. I was by no means in love with this dude. Maybe in deep lust with his nether regions and deep like with the rest of him. Mostly, I really thought we had become friends. To be totally clear, I never made the whole BF/GF speech nor did I even hint at it. I was upfront with wanted to date around (which I didn't end up doing, but that was the intention) and later that I liked him a lot. Anywho... point being, I didn't want or need to see him every day. Once a week, twice a month - whatever we both had time and inclination for mostly for sex and a hang out buddy, a friend. But after having to ask WTF was up with us never talking, or going out etc... he finally said something to the effect that he wanted to avoid me to the point of not even saying hello when I was online and that he had just lost interest because we are a bit too different, but didn't want to tell me until he had made the decision. My guess would be he met someone else and didn't want to totally write me off till he had a spare in the trunk. Whatever. I'm not hurt that he doesn't want to see me or that he potentially met someone else. It hurts that he didn't have the respect for me to tell me when he started drifting, which I see now specifically in the last time we went out. I see the disinterest played out in subtle ways. And that he doesn't even really consider me a friend. I feel like I killed his puppy. What boggles my mind is why am I so disinteresting? Why is it sooo hard for me and sooo easy for everyone else?? I'm not talking about happy, delirious love, I'm just talking about finding people who express and maintain interest for more than ten minutes. Because from what I can tell I have a 3 date maximum for potential interest. Date one, I'm a sexy-curvey redhead - great. Date two, I'm a quirky-funny chick - okay. Date 3 (now that I'm interested in you) I'm disinteresting- flippin fantabulous. I do have another date on Wed with a guy that I'm vaguely interested in. The best thing I can tell myself is do what comes easiest and get out into the world as much as I can muster. Other than that, I'm kinda out of self help. If I really believe what I say I believe that the real love relationship will come whether I hide in my house or go to singles events every night - in other words, I don't have a choice and he'll come or he won't. I'm trying to keep an open mind and a more open heart, but I'm starting to feel like the magical realm of love I used to believe in is dead for me. I don't believe in the Dharma & Greg's and Cinderella stories anymore. Which in one way is fantastic, and another limits me terribly.

Taking A Moment in the Confessional Booth

TheseHands — Wed, 02 Jan 2008 19:03:49 GMT

God I love him... I try so hard, but every time I see him be a total unabashed goof ball, I'm enraptured again. Siiiiigh. You can read a goofy interview at http://www.thesneeze.com/mt-archives/000408.php

Dating Bootcamp: Day 5 Self Love

TheseHands — Thu, 01 Nov 2007 23:25:46 GMT

How Do I Love Me? Why the secret to finding true love begins with you! By The Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway Beliefnet Updated: Oct 30, 2007 It is so important that we nourish ourselves -- body, mind and spirit -- and treat ourselves like goddesses. Being kind to oneself is a healthy habit to get into, and the best way to get into the groove is to set aside "Goddess Time" each week for you, and you alone! We give so much to others, why be stingy with ourselves? Whether in a relationship, hoping to be, or simply enjoying single life, a date with ones self is a powerful metaphor for self-nourishment. And it is the first and most important step toward a balanced, loving relationships with others. Where to begin? Imagine there is someone in your life you can depend on to pamper, heal and revitalize you, and treat you royally -- for at least a few undisturbed hours each week. Now, imagine that "someone" is YOU. Pick something that would bring you great pleasure -- an activity, an experience, or a material gift -- and agree to give it to yourself. Start off with something simple. Try a "self-love bath." Crown yourself Queen for a Day or Goddess for several hours a week -- and pamper yourself. Buy beautiful candles, scented oils, flowers. Draw a bath. Play relaxing and sensual music. Slip into the warm water, daydream and allow yourself to bask in the energy of love. It truly creates an impression in your own mind and spirit that you are someone who deserves royal treatment and who is willing to receive it! I cannot tell you how much a simple act of self-love will bring you closer to receiving pampering from others. At the most basic level -- a nice warm bath with candles is very relaxing and it gives you a chance to meditate. and get a new perspective on life. How do I love me, let me count the ways. Other simple delights include: light a candle and relax in a favorite chair for 15 minutes; take yourself to a movie, out to dinner or to a museum exhibit you've been meaning to see; buy yourself a small gift. The best way to keep your soul nourished is to create an ongoing environment for this nourishment. Date yourself regularly: Many of us take time out for ourselves just once in awhile and neglect to create the foundation for ongoing revitalization. Why not carve out time and put things in order so that you can access these experiences of self-love and care, regularly. This may mean keeping your favorite bath oil and candles on hand at all times. or ensuring that you have several hours a week alone, to yourself. Think of it this way. if you were dating someone special, wouldn't you go out of your way to make dates and focus attention on the relationship? Do it for yourself, first. this sets the groundwork for others to treat you like the goddess you are!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

TheseHands — Tue, 30 Oct 2007 05:01:56 GMT

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is all.

Dating Boot Camp Day 4 (cont): Overt vs Covert

TheseHands — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 18:44:12 GMT

I am the WORST at TMI. This seems to be a turn-off. Who knew.!?! Do Men Believe in Love at First Sight? Posted by David Zinczenko http://health.yahoo.com/experts/menlovesex/64404/do-men-believe-in-love-at-first-sight Men Want: Covert Actions They Don't Want: Overt Ones Seems like a simple equation, doesn't it? He likes you, you like him, you end the night with a Chapstick taste test. Contrary to popular belief, a guy doesn't gauge your passion by how quickly you fall into bed with him. In fact, for many men, their level of intensity for a woman increases the less overt physical contact he has with her. While men certainly have quick sexual motors, a slow, gradual revving of the engine is simply longer-lasting and more satisfying. That's why women should never underestimate the value and power of the slow tease. Unexpectedly grabbing his hand, grazing his thigh, or simply making eye contact across the room builds his attraction and multiplies that in-love feeling far better than a boozy kiss 20 minutes after your introduction. Men Want: Mystery They Don't Want: Full Disclosure You know how it goes. A woman confesses her love early on and she's viewed as an overbearing, bioclock time bomb who wants to lock a man into a multi-year commitment. A man who confesses his love early is more desperate for attention than that dude who just got Tasered. While some would argue that confessing true feelings is simply honest, I would argue that men and women should revel in the slow progression of getting to know each another. Yes, it's tempting to want to spill your soul about your life, your dreams, and your secret eyebrow-plucking habit when you feel an immediate connection. But men rarely have the same knee-jerk reaction to bare all. Let the intimacy progress naturally and he'll be hooked - naturally. In a study of newly married couples, a full 86 percent of men said their relationship did indeed classify as love at first sight. Men Want: Implication They Don't Want: Conversation There's one time men like getting The Talk. At halftime. In the locker room. By their coaches. Otherwise, men just don't take very well to man-up speeches and lectures-especially when it comes to a declaration of love and commitment. The Commitment Talk doesn't stoke the spark; it pulls the plug on it. You can convey your feelings - and help him feel the same way - without having to broach the subject through the always awkward "where is this going" talk. How? Show you're into him by getting him involved a little bit in your future. Invite him on a day trip next weekend, book tickets in advance for a concert or play, or ask him on a hiking trip with friends for next month. By thinking ahead and involving him in your plans, you show that you're devoted enough to invest time in him - without having to make it feel like union negotiations. Men Want: Smoke Signals They Don't Want: Billboards For a man, three long hours of planning something special can be easier than saying three little words. Maybe you're eager to declare your commitment and ready to end every conversation with "I love you," but the sentiment can be hard for him to share - even if he feels the same way. Why? Some men think that if they say those words, there's some kind of unwritten code that locks him into years of nagging about bathroom habits. Truth is, he takes those words seriously (if he didn't, it wouldn't be so hard). Although he may not reciprocate your grand gestures right away, it doesn't mean he's not feeling the same way. He'll do it with a compliment, or offering to take your wheels to the carwash, or through some elaborately planned night of romance. For more of the secret needs and language men employ, check out 50 Things Men Wish You Knew. The flip side? He also likes the same things in return: A compliment or passing innuendo is more likely to strengthen his interest than a premature confession of love. For many men, the excitement that's sparked early on becomes more intense as he unravels the clues that you're falling for him, too. Have other ideas or stories about love at first sight and what occurs when you think you might be in the presence of The One? Share them here.

Dating Boot Camp Day 4: Understanding the Beast

TheseHands — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 18:39:58 GMT

I am the WORST at seeing it from a guy's perspective. I *just* realized that dudes are as intimidated of me as I am of them (often moreso see #42). I'm not saying I agree with all of this, nor do I think catering to men is the ultimate answer, I'm just making the trek toward understanding the beast. And, if a few ego strokes and flirting will help me along the way then so be it! And if any dudes are reading this and would like to post an addendum or disagree with anything I'd love to know. 50 Things Men Wish You Knew Universal Guy Truths http://www.menshealth.com 1. Express yourself. It makes us proud, even if someone thinks you're wrong. 2. You look hot in running shoes and shorts. And that top thingy with the stripes. 3. Bare, tan shoulders are underrated. 4. If you think I’m speeding now, you should see me drive when you're not in the car. 5. If you're truly interested in us, don't play hard to get. 6. Shopping is a chore, not an activity. 7. When I screw up, go ahead and tell me--once. 8. No question need ever be asked through a closed bathroom door if I'm inside. I love you less with each syllable you utter. 9. I'm hot for you, not your sister or your friend or your coworker. 10. My guy friends. Not only are they not negotiable, they’re your best sign that I’m not a whack job. 11. Don't be afraid to ditch the makeup. Natural is sexier. 12. Leave the eyebrows alone. Plucked ain't pretty. 13. You can have sex with us any time you want. Seriously. 14. When the game is on, we will pay attention to you if you're nice about it. Bark, and we shut down. 15. I don't ask for directions because I’m just happy to be driving. Anywhere. 16. Masturbation is merely practice for the big game. Encourage it. 17. We crave hugs and hand-holding too. And no, it doesn't always have to lead to sex. 18. But you can have sex with us any time you want. Did we mention that? 19. There's no better sound in the world than you, having an orgasm. 20. Though the exhaust note of a Porsche Boxster is pretty damn fine, too. 21. I just may lie to make you feel good. Don’t be angry about this. You really weren't looking for the truth anyway. 22. When you get angry over some stupid little pointless thing, I question your intelligence. 23. You’re really bad at faking it. 24. If I offer my help while you're getting ready, it means you’re late. 25. Never ask me to pick out your outfit. (See above.) I will invariably get it wrong and make us even more late. 26. Giving me two or three choices, however, can be fun. Assuming you will change outfits in front of me. Slowly. 27. Err on the side of hot; I love to show you off. 28. Unless we're meeting my parents. 29. When you call us at work "just to chat," we're not really listening; we're checking our e-mail. 30. Spring means baseball and skirts. Doesn't need to be a mini-skirt; it's been a long winter. 31. Chicks who drink beer are hot. Better yet: chicks who drink beer and watch the game. Better still: chicks who buy us a beer during the game. 32. We don't mind being told we look good. Just don't call it a "cute outfit." 33. We love ponytails. 34. Being good in bed means a) enthusiasm; b) a sense of humor; and sometimes c) patience. 35. The first time? We're as nervous as you are. 36. A random unexpected grope is always welcome, even in public. Especially in public. 37. Make us laugh and we'll want to hang around. 38. Yes, I laugh really loud around the guys. And I always will, so deal. 39. Sure, men stereotypically like to solve a woman's problems. But a woman who solves her own while we watch? Instant erection. 40. You can pick the movie, but have a reason. 41. Do not expect to have a conversation via text message unless you use the words "naked" and "waiting." 42. Sometimes we wonder why any woman would want to be with us, much less someone as amazing as you. So, thanks. 43. Anytime you cook for us, we're happy. 44. If you can hit a golf ball 150 yards, we just might fall in love. 45. No, I don't remember what he said next. Or she. Or anybody, for that matter. I'm a guy, not a tape recorder. 46. We love you even more because you know we need to go out with the guys once in a while. 47. And we love it when you hang with us guys, too. 48. We have a keen sense of imminent danger. It sounds like, "Do you think she's pretty?" 49. Don't rely on us for keeping you up on the news. 50. Never say, "I know you better than you know yourself." Nobody does.

Dating Bootcamp Day 3: 10 Compliments that Wow a Man - Verbal Cues to Indicate Interest

TheseHands — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 18:16:39 GMT

The first step in dating is showing attraction. If I am not magnetic, then how will anyone ever get close enough to even begin to decide whether or not they like me. Giving out signals (be it words or body language) that I have interest must be mastered before I can expect a change in my love life. I don't know how to turn on the signal that says "hey I'm available and I have interest in you." Its like the light on the top of a taxi; light on and riders will hail. When the light is off, even the most visible cab will go un-hailed. Mostly I have a big sign that says "hey, fucktard, I think its a miracle that you know how to use your opposable thumbs, let alone put together simple sentences." So suffice it to say that I need help giving out those signals that prompt those of the opposite sex to come hither. The following is an article on how to give VERBAL, POSITIVE cues to men that you approve of him: Yahoo! Health 10 Compliments That Wow a Man Posted by David Zinczenko http://health.yahoo.com/experts/menlovesex/47260/10-compliments-that-wow-a-man From an early age, men get hammered with the same message about how to treat women: More compliments, more listening, more romance. That's all well and good, as it should be. But sometimes, especially as relationships progress, men can also feel on the short-end of the fawning stick: Nearly 70 percent of men say they wish they received more regular compliments from their partner. I'm not suggesting that every guy has to be coddled and cuddled with verbal roses, but every once in a while, it's nice to throw one his way. While guys aren't particularly amped by compliments like "nice eyes" or "you're so beautiful," there are a few, simple things a woman can say to a man that really get him going. To wit: "Your arms are definitely looking bigger." Men can be just as paranoid about the way their bodies look as women can be. In fact, nearly 90 percent of men in a national Men, Love & Sex survey say there's at least one body part they'd like to change (42 percent saying they want a new gut). While men don't necessarily want women to lie if they're out of shape, it never hurts to notice he's looking good -- or at least trying to look better. "Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha." Guys spend all of high school, the better part of the work day, and at least 12 times a day via e-mail trying to make people laugh. Because men value their sense of humor as one of their most important qualities, a hearty, genuine laugh is as flattering as it gets. "Wow." Doesn't matter whether it comes as he's getting undressed or after you've finished having sex, this short, sweet word (best done in a whisper) may just be the ultimate ego-stroke. A picture may say a thousand words, but this three-letter word sums up roughly 10,000 of them. "You the man." Guys hear this all the time. From other guys. They hear it at work, on the golf course, and when one dude from the group buys the beer. But if it comes from a woman -- no matter the context -- the message is that, hey, we're buddies, too. Which is actually pretty darn sexy. "The kids just adore you." More than 50 percent of men say that their families -- more so than work and salary -- are what defines them most as men. So when a woman affirms that he's a familial hero, it's a compliment that stretches way beyond anything you could ever say about his haircut. "What do you think?" We've all seen it a million times with long-married couples: They engage in cerebral power struggles, where neither can concede on anything -- whether it's the best way to move a piece of furniture or the fastest way to reach the interstate. I'm not saying that men should have the only say in decisions, but some guys do feel like they actually have very little. "Cute feet." Typically, it doesn't matter much to men if women like a part of their body that they don't control, like their eyes, jawline, or body hair. And typically, guys care for the word "cute" about as much as Paris cares for the penal system. One exception: The part of the body that is classified as being especially gross. Tell a guy he has good feet, and somehow he takes it as a double-bagger compliment -- that you not only like his genetics, but also that you appreciate he can keep himself better groomed than the rest of the gnarly-nailed heathens out there. "Meow." The stats show that 61 percent of men think their partners aren't sexually adventurous enough. While a feline one-liner doesn't automatically qualify as adventurous, it does show a bit of inhibition, and the message is one he likes to hear: That perhaps he's brought a little bit of the animal out of you. "Impressive." Guys love feats. They love accomplishments. They love being acknowledged for their strength, power, and, simply, their masculinity. So a well-timed observation like this one -- whether it comes after he carries a TV to the family room or figures out a way to fix the pipes without having to call the plumber -- feeds into his need to feel like the family protector. "I want you." Women don't need to go on about a guy's eyes or hair or clothes. What a guy really wants to hear is that he's the total package, and this acknowledgement of that -- whether it's referring to bedroom behavior or relationship stability -- is the ultimate compliment of them all.

Love Boot Camp: Day 2 Getting My Ass Out There

TheseHands — Mon, 17 Sep 2007 21:13:21 GMT

As I've stated in a previous post entitled "I Know What Boys Like. I Know What Guys Want", I realize that Mr. Wonderful isn't necessarily going to approach me in the grocery store before making passionate love on the heads of lettuce BUT how will I EVER meet new people (specifically MAN-people) if I never take the chance and start talking to people I meet in passing? The point of this exercise is not to necessarily find Mr. Right in a grocery store, it is just to simply begin the process of letting the walls down while in public. Being able to be open, honest, and approachable and still feel as if I'm in a safe space is going to be some work for me. But, I believe that it will inevitably and ultimately create a vibe that fosters men wanting to talk and approach me. Even the most gallant and intrepid man won't climb over 300 foot walls. Now if I was looking for that special someone with a pussy, I'd be knee deep in it at this point. I am an EXPERT flirt with girls. I can get free coupons, drinks etc... but have no confidence or skill in chatting up the opposite sex. This is a serious roadblock as it cuts me off from ever really meeting new people. It would be fine if I had close friends who were setting me up with men on the regular, thus eliminating all need to meet "strangers" but for me that is not the case. So, rather than relying on my friends to introduce me to new friends I have to start meeting people wherever I go and flexing my male/female flirt muscles. The following article by Toni Coleman is packed with simple yet vastly underestimated information on how to meet people in public. I think the most important aspect of this tidbit of information is that all the butterflies and angst can be removed from the situation by basically playing it cool and never seeming to be too forward; its just about making contact. And, by making simple direct statements rather than (or in addition to) asking asking questions, the flirtation is more likely to be reciprocated as it suggests that you have already been given permission to interact. There is no "would you like to talk?" just simple statements: "I love the ham and cheese". "I come here every Tuesday, I love the special." "I hate when the bread is soggy." Enjoy! Love Could Be An Errand Away By Toni Coleman You have signed up on several large dating sites and posted a great profile. So far, you’ve had some nice responses, but these haven’t led to a meeting yet. Someone told you about a singles group at your church and there is an organization in your city for singles who want to volunteer, and hopefully meet other like-minded people. You’ve lost count of all the parties, happy hours and clubs you’ve been to, hoping to meet compatible singles. Whew! It’s a lot of effort just to be in the right place at the right time with the right people. Or is it? In towns and cities everywhere there are single people (like yourself) going about their daily lives. Schedules consist of long hours at work and/ or school, commuting, appointments, errands, leisure time pursuits/activities and everything else that is part of the fabric of one’s existence. In the course of a day, the average person encounters many strangers on the street, elevator, store, metro, etc. Have you ever really thought about the possibility that Mr/Ms Right could be the person behind you in line or across the aisle on the metro? If not, now is a good time to raise your awareness and broaden your thinking on the subject of how and where you can meet compatible singles. Armed with some newly acquired skills, your next chance encounter could lead to a first date and more. The following are areas to start building the expertise that will help you to stand out and get the right kind of attention when an attractive stranger comes into your sights. * Always be prepared. You just never know, so you need to make that extra effort before you rush out of the house. Take a quick look in the mirror, comb your hair and change those (horrid) old sweats into a nice pair of jeans. How you feel about yourself will be projected onto those around you, and really - you do look like your mother in THOSE pants. * Raise your general awareness of what and who is around you. Don’t walk with you head down, avoiding any eye contact. Try smiling at people you pass on the street and offer a nice greeting or remark to the folks who wait on you when you shop, do your banking, pick up your clothes at the cleaners, etc. Take special note of strangers who appear to be single and to have characteristics you seek and surreptitiously check to see if that cute guy/girl is looking your way. If so, smile and say hello if it feels appropriate to do so. * Watch your body language. Along with holding your head up, remember to keep those shoulders back and walk with a comfortable erectness. Have an “open” posture. Don’t wrap your arms around yourself as you stand or huddle in a corner when waiting/standing in a line. The eyes say it all; so let yours say “friendly.” Communicate to others that you are approachable and let them see that you are interested- if you are. What you don’t say speaks volumes. * Learn to be a good flirt. Along with body language and communicating interest with your eyes, you will probably need to smile and have a few good lines available. Rule of thumb- only approach someone who is reciprocating your interest through his or her non-verbal language. Starting with a question is always a good move. Make it real, non-threatening and impersonal. For instance, you are in a sandwich shop grabbing lunch and you are standing in back of a very cute guy. “Excuse me, have you ever tried the Italian sub here?” “It looks really good, but I hate it when they add too much oil.” Safe, easy to answer and very open-ended. This allows the other person to share their experience with the shop (or lack of) and to add any comments or ask a question of their own. If they do, respond back with something that offers them the chance to keep talking. * Become a great conversationalist. Yes, anyone can master this. It’s about focusing on the other person, deeply listening and offering interesting, upbeat thoughts and topics. With a stranger, keep it simple. After the first exchange, ask them easy questions about themselves. Not too personal or probing. “So, if you come here a lot to eat, you must live/work nearby.” “I’ve been here a few times, but don’t think I’ve seen you before.” Or offer something about yourself. “I’m a vegetarian and this is the best shop for meatless sandwiches that I have found.” You get it - safe, pleasant ways to ask about them, share about you and keep the conversation going. “On nice days like this I often eat in the park down the street- want to join me?” * Use common sense and take precautions with any strangers. He’s very cute, but so was Ted Bundy. Never give out your home number, address or any personal information to someone you have just met “on the street.” Most people completely understand and agree with this kind of caution and would not be offended if you explained your need to only give a first name, work phone number or an email address. If this first meeting leads to an offer to get together again, accept by all means if it feels right. But plan to meet in a public place until you have more information about them. Once you have had a few meetings/dates, you can exchange home phone numbers and more personal information. * Close the deal. So, you two have been standing in line and talking while your sandwiches were being made. You are very interested and don’t want to just say good-bye. What can you do? You can reiterate that you eat here a few times a week and tell them that you hope to see them on Wednesday at around noon. You can pick up on something they might have shared such as their participation on their workplace sponsored softball team. ” My team will be playing on the mall on Sunday at 4, when do you guys play?” Perhaps we will play opposite each other and can talk after the game.” Of course, there’s always the suggestion of eating your sandwiches together at that park down the street… Joining singles clubs and groups, posting personal ads and/or doing volunteer work are all great ways to try to connect with compatible, available singles. However, they are not the only way. Many great loves started from chance meetings in the couple’s everyday world. So, get out there, really mingle and open your mind to the possibility that when you go around the next corner you will come fact to face with Mr/Ms Right. Toni Coleman, MSW is a licensed psychotherapist, relationship coach and founder of http://www.consum-mate.com.

Observation and Analysis

TheseHands — Thu, 06 Sep 2007 23:38:04 GMT

Buddha said: Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. Do not believe anything because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything because it is written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and the benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it. And really, why would anyone believe (except through brain washing) that a concept is true simply because it is written? When did we stop using our faculties to discriminate between the true and the false, the right and wrong? For example: From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia Russell's teapot, sometimes called the Celestial Teapot, was an analogy first coined by the philosopher Bertrand Russell (1872–1970), intended to refute the idea that the burden of proof lies upon the sceptic to disprove unfalsifiable claims of religions. In an article entitled "Is There a God?",[1] commissioned (but never published) by Illustrated magazine in 1952, Russell said the following: If I were to suggest that between the Earth and Mars there is a china teapot revolving about the sun in an elliptical orbit, nobody would be able to disprove my assertion provided I were careful to add that the teapot is too small to be revealed even by our most powerful telescopes. But if I were to go on to say that, since my assertion cannot be disproved, it is an intolerable presumption on the part of human reason to doubt it, I should rightly be thought to be talking nonsense. If, however, the existence of such a teapot were affirmed in ancient books, taught as the sacred truth every Sunday, and instilled into the minds of children at school, hesitation to believe in its existence would become a mark of eccentricity and entitle the doubter to the attentions of the psychiatrist in an enlightened age or of the Inquisitor in an earlier time. In his book A Devil's Chaplain, Richard Dawkins developed the teapot theme a little further: The reason organized religion merits outright hostility is that, unlike belief in Russell's teapot, religion is powerful, influential, tax-exempt and systematically passed on to children too young to defend themselves. Children are not compelled to spend their formative years memorizing loony books about teapots. Government-subsidized schools don't exclude children whose parents prefer the wrong shape of teapot. Teapot-believers don't stone teapot-unbelievers, teapot-apostates, teapot-heretics and teapot-blasphemers to death. Mothers don't warn their sons off marrying teapot-shiksas whose parents believe in three teapots rather than one. People who put the milk in first don't kneecap those who put the tea in first.

Dating Boot Camp: Day 1 Chemistry DOESN'T WORK

TheseHands — Tue, 04 Sep 2007 06:34:56 GMT

Okay the following article is Day the first of my relationship bootcamp which I expect to last for four months as I have a budding relationship councelor on hand until then. Suffice it to say that I've gotten myself into a non-relationship. The little plant that sprouted from the surface of the ground has died. So, if nothing is communicated by Tuesday, or maybe even if it is, I'm cutting non-relationship guy off for good. I'll also be taking real steps to be in a boy on girl relationship by December. If you ask women what qualities they seek in a man, inevitably the conversation turns to chemistry. Women say they know immediately whether there is that magical spark or not. But what is chemistry? Here’s what I get as a response: - Chemistry is ha cha cha, spoken in a breathy voice - It’s sparks and electricity - It’s excitement and desire - It’s an attraction that sizzles - It makes you melt - It’s the stuff that sells romance novels So, what do all these descriptions have in common? Sex. Yup, that’s what chemistry is really about. It’s an intense sexual attraction that pulls two people together for an experience beyond the rational, thinking mind. Without it, there isn’t “real” love, at least that’s what the media would have you believe. Chemistry is exciting, magical, fast paced, and cannot be denied. Or can it? Let’s take a look at both sides of chemistry to understand the advantages and drawbacks. After all, if so many women are willing to let chemistry dictate their relationship choices, it might be helpful to examine what’s behind this mysterious driving force. Advantage #1 With chemistry, you can count on a passionate sex life that rivals any Danielle Steele novel. Whether it’s steamy, sweet, or tender, you know it will be fantastic, highly memorable, and leave you breathless, wanting more. Advantage #2 Chemistry is exciting and you feel incredibly alive with an electric-like passion. Often, the chemistry relationship falls into one of two camps; 1) Contact is limited for because he’s married, lives far away, you met him on vacation, etc. or 2) The relationship is established with lightening speed. Either way, the pairing is dramatic. Advantage #3 Chemistry is richly romantic and feels like love; the swept off your feet variety. Every woman dreams of finding a romantic partner who appears magically like a knight in shining armor riding a white horse. OK – go get a glass of cold water before moving on to the drawbacks. Drawback #1 Chemistry often overwhelms and clouds a person’s better judgment. The magnetic attraction can be compared the classic story of the moth drawn to the flame. And what happens to the moth when it gets too close? The moth gets burned! Many women admit they found chemistry with men who are “bad boys.” These men can be romance junkies who love the chase, but disappear when the discussions start. Bad boys are terribly fun, but emotionally unavailable and even commitment phobic. They are exciting, but not interested in long-term relationships. When you know a man is bad for you, regardless of how right it feels when you're together, you are probably the victim of bad boy chemistry. One clear sign is if you notice yourself saying "I just can’t help it." Drawback #2 People often mistake chemistry for love. But jumping ahead into great sex may result in intimacy that’s limited. So many times there just isn’t any foundation beyond sizzling attraction and when that fades – there’s not much left to work with. Solid long-term relationships are built on getting to know each other through a variety of shared experiences. And that takes time and a partner with similar values and goals, who is willing to work through the inevitable relationship bumps. Drawback #3 While I’m all for romance, the idea that prince charming will suddenly ride into your life and sweep you off your feet is unlikely. Through talking to hundreds of women it’s become obvious that wildly romantic men are often in love with falling in love and can’t manage to progress beyond the first stages of dating. Set your sights on a man who can go the distance rather than someone who lavishes you with wine, roses and sweet talk. You’ll be a lot happier in the long run and save yourself the heartache of trying to understand why the guy said so many wonderful things and then just disappeared. Overall, most women reluctantly admit that using chemistry as the sole factor for selecting a man hasn’t served them well. This choice leads them astray into relationships that have broken their hearts and been highly disappointing. Attraction Is Very Important Don’t get me wrong. Attraction is a very important part of any budding romance. The discussion here is about using chemistry as the bench mark for selecting which man to spend time with. Instead of relying on sexual attraction that probably harkens back to prehistoric times meant to ensure the survival of the species, think about all the qualities that will make for a loving partnership. If you meet a nice guy who appears to have many of the qualities you desire, but falls a bit short on chemistry, cut him some slack. Get to know him better so you can appreciate who he really is and discover the kind of attraction that builds with time. For a lasting loving partnership, consider kissing chemistry goodbye, and instead assessing prospects based on qualities that have more meaning for the long haul. Visit http://www.NeverTooLate.biz for savvy dating strategies to help you find the love you want and deserve. You can subscribe to the f*r*e*e bi-weekly newsletter Kiss & Tell and check out the book MANifesting Mr. Right: It’s Never Too Late to Find the Love You Want by Dating Coach and expert Ronnie Ann Ryan. Visit http://www.ManifestingMrRight.com Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Ronnie_Ann_Ryan

Laws of Attraction and Worthiness

TheseHands — Sat, 25 Aug 2007 00:33:55 GMT

So there I was sitting in a darkened room with a nice looking guy giving him a massage thinking a whole lotta nothing while he rambled on or asked pretty average questions about massage. "What is a knot?" "Why are you holding pressure like that?" "Are knots always in the same place" etc... I've heard it all a thousand times. Usually at this point a dude with a descent body and ya know a JOB would start putting ideas about my inadequacies into my mind. "Oh, he's cute, but he probably hates fat girls. He's nice but I'm sure without a tannorexia he'd never find me attractive." But something rather different happened this time, I thought "maybe". Just "maybe". Nothing like I believe that he has the hots for me (and I hope not cuz there would be a conflict of interest there) but the idea that maybe he DID find me attractive. Something sorta clicked on in my mind. Maybe this dude or that dude DOES infact like me, not becuase of or in spite of my body but just becuase the whole package of me is lovely. Because I have a wicked sence of humor and and a quick mind. Or maybe its my pretty eyes or my shapely booty - whatever the case that my mind is now focused on the "what if" rather than the "never wills". And for the first time I believe that true love and absolute joy are part of my birth right for real. Not just pretty words. They are part of why I am here and what I should be striving for in lovers, friends, work and every situation I am in. After this revelation, I realized that this is why I had been attracting this very sort of men to me. I already have a hard time meeting people but I've been with a few recently who once they get me basically say "oooh you're too good for me". And let me tell you that shit gets old REAL quick. I FINALLY get a guy alone in a darkend room (in a non-massage sitution) and he's afraid to make any moves at all because I am too much of a catch. So hopefully this realiztion and difference in my interal goinings on will attract to me a beautiful wonderful man with the confidence to go in for a motherfucking kiss. Humph!

Ah... To be A Zonie

TheseHands — Wed, 01 Aug 2007 22:50:59 GMT

You can only TRULY appreciate this when driving in AZ. HOW TO DRIVE IN PHOENIX: 1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name. It is: “FEE-nicks". There are other names to learn such as Ahwatukee (Ah-wah-TOO-kee) but those will be included in the advanced course. (and as an addendum, although we have a large group of Hispanic people in this area Spanish place names are not always pronounced as they should be. IE Casa Grande is pronounced Casa with a long a and, Grand as it is spelled NOT as a Spanish word. Figure THAT one out.) 2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 am to noon. The evening rush hour is from noon to 7:00 pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning. 3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 85 mph. On Loop 101, your speed is expected to at least match the highway number. Anything less is considered "Wussy". 4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Phoenix has its own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires go second. However, East Valley, SUV-driving, cell phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way. 5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear-ended, cussed out, and possibly shot. (yeeeeeeeeup. I've freaked a few people out doing that. For some reason yellow light means ride RIGHT on my ass. Humph. They only do it once to me. HA!) 6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can get you shot. 7. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Phoenix. Detour barrels are moved around for your entertainment pleasure during the night to make the next day's driving a bit more exciting. 8. Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, barrels, cones, cows, horses, cats, mattresses, shredded tires, squirrels, rabbits, crows, vultures, javelinas, roadrunners, rattlesnakes, and the coyotes feeding on any of these items. 9. The Maricopa Freeway, The Papago Freeway and the "I-10" are the same road. SR202 is the same road as Loop 202 and The Red Mountain Freeway. SR51 is also known as Piestewa Parkway, but no one can pronounce Piestewa so it is still called by its politically incorrect former name, the Squaw Peak Parkway. Dunlap and Olive are the same street. Jefferson becomes Washington, but they are not the same street. Loop 101 is also known as the Pima Freeway except when it is west of I-17. I-17 is also The Black Canyon Freeway and The Veterans Memorial Highway. The Loop 303 does not loop anywhere. Lastly, Thunderbird Rd. becomes Cactus Rd., but Cactus Rd. does not become Thunderbird Rd. because it deadends at a mountain. (Yup. We are arranged on a grid and all of the roads change name at least once or they dead end. Be it ever so humble...) 10. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally activated." 11. If you are in the left lane and only driving 70 in a 55-65 mph zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off" accordingly. If you return the flip, you could be shot. 12. For summer driving, it is advisable to wear potholders on your hands. (No shit, 12 people die each year because they put their hands on the wheel and were stuck there, in their cars. Most die from dehydration some die from being eaten by coyotes. It's a fact. Look it up.) 13. True Phoenicians ALWAYS seek to park in a shady spot, even before the sun has risen, and no matter how far the parking space is from the office/store/restaurant. This is why you will see cars widely scattered around a parking lot instead of clustered in one place; these people arrived early to park in covered spaces or under trees. (Imagine the scene in The Chronicles of Riddick when the sun comes up and they are all running for their lives as the temperature in the sunlight is deadly. Its just like that... 'cept hotter.) 14. If the driver stopped in front of you at a red light suddenly opens his passenger door, it is advisable to quickly avert your eyes before he spits out his chewing tobacco. (Now this one is just outdated. No one chews anymore. They are too busy talking on their cell phones ie #4. But if some polo shirt wearing, sheeple is talking on his cell with one hand and drinking a frozen cappuccino with the other I'd get the FUCK outta his way too)

She's So Skinny

TheseHands — Thu, 19 Jul 2007 19:56:27 GMT

Here be some love for us big girls. Below are the words fer us white-eys who can't understand no rappin. http://youtube.com/watch?v=eKUGltGwN3U 2X} True, she's so skinny, she's so skinny Right down to the bone, she is You need some meat on the back, come on with that I was in the club, looking for some love Made my move, made my move, when I said excuse babe I was so I love, angel from above A dream come true, dream come true, now I find you babe Then I had a proper look you said, oh oh oh oh Then I made her step away quick them slow, oh oh oh oh When she said to me hey don't go, oh oh oh oh I didn't know what to say as you know, oh oh oh oh {2X} True, she's so skinny, she's so skinny Right down to the bone, she is You need some meat on the back, come on with that Are we gonna party, running from this, honey She's got good intentions, but she needs to walk away She said once, am I good enough I said yes love, you got all my love Then I had a proper look you said, oh oh oh oh Then I made her step away quick them slow, oh oh oh oh When she said to me hey don't go, oh oh oh oh I didn't know what to say as you know, oh oh oh oh {2X} True, she's so skinny, she's so skinny Right down to the bone, she is You need some meat on the back, come on with that Then I had a proper look you said, oh oh oh oh Then I made her step away quick them slow, oh oh oh oh When she said to me hey don't go, oh oh oh oh I didn't know what to say as you know, oh oh oh oh She so skinny, she know ain't nuttin tho Her strength in her legs, and her legs tough fe bow (fe is the equivalent to "to". And we all know what bow legs/bow-legged people look like. So, I'm assuming he's saying that it's hard to fuck a skinny girl) Need to feed her up, need to ________ (no clue on that line girl) Need a fat girl, someone I can hold She so skinny, when it hot she feel cold She so skinny ________ (no clue on that line girl) When I see a big girl, me eyes start fe roam When I walk with a skinny girl, she drop down d hole. {4X} True, she's so skinny, she's so skinny Right down to the bone, she is You need some meat on the back, come on with that

Gonads Easy There

TheseHands — Thu, 19 Jul 2007 06:24:32 GMT

http://lr2.com/media/ledbetter.swf Just do it... you'll bust a fetus.

A Fairy Tale

TheseHands — Thu, 12 Jul 2007 18:14:16 GMT

Mummsy sent me this and I thought I must share this will all of my b-e-a-utiful princess/queen/goddesses. This is the fairy tale that should have been read to us when we were little: Once upon a time in a land far away, a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle. The frog hopped into the princess' lap and said, "Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I am and then, my sweet, we can marry and set up housekeeping in your castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so." That night, as the princess dined sumptuously on lightly sautéed frog legs seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled and thought to herself "I don't fuckin think so."

I gues I DO know what boys like... Update

TheseHands — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 07:06:17 GMT

So my luck with men has taken a u turn for the better! I won't go into details until there are REAL details to go into... and even then names will be changed to protect the innocent... but suffice it to say that I've unwittingly (sort of) planted and been nurturing a relationship that has recently begun to flower. For better or for worse for luv or for just real good friendship.... IM ON MY WAY BITCHES!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!

Breathing in Through Your Vagina and out Through Your Mouth... Relax... aaaaaaah

TheseHands — Tue, 03 Jul 2007 03:57:38 GMT

The following website is a list of things to do to destressify your life. I guess we all need to hear these things from time to time. My lession for today is the perspective part. I got some really superfantastic perspective from my mommy today. She basically nailed me to a wall with her psychoanalization. Which is a little different from the site but... Wheee.... good funs anyhow. Check out the website. http://www.wkiri.com/today/?cat=14

I know what boys like. I know what guys want.

TheseHands — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 18:16:53 GMT

So here I am 23, been *almost* married and very very single. I've been dreaming lately of being stuck in various positions underneath bathroom equpment. One night it was under an electric hand drier and last night it was in the sliding door of a shower. Goodness. WTF does that mean? However the symbolism was crafted in my mind it makes sense in an odd sort of way. I'm pretty damn stuck where I am in my whole social/dating life. I'm too busy and drained at the end of the day to go out and get my party on and even if I had the energy I don't even know where to begin. I keep thinking back to the movie The Secret to the part where that too utterly cute for this movie guy is describing how people give up on The Secret because they don't see results. He says its like seed just beginning to sprout and just about to break the surface of the soil when we give up and decide whatever we wished for won't happen. So I've got faith... er sometimesI got faith. And other times I got nothing but doubt. I'm finally to a point where I understand that Mr. Right isn't going to walk up to me in a grocery store, introduce himself as such and throw me onto the heads of lettuce making passionate love till the produce manager has us uncerimoniously kicked out of the store and banned from the chain for life. I get that it takes getting out there and meeting people and putting my deamons that are tearing me down and wispering naggingly in my ear that no one will ever fall for me. But here I am. Nonetheless, trapped under the toilet seat of my life as it were. So what the hell do I do? The best advice I've gotten thus far is to take a class that I'm interested in where I could meet like-minded people. Kay, I've done that. I haven't met anyone that wasn't 40+, married or female. In the four years I was in college classes I have met a total of like 3 people that I would consider real and dear friends. And no one that I wanted to jump. I also worry (and I'm sure at this point you've nodded off sooo... BOOBIES... there, hope that'll keep your attention for the next paragraph) that I am far too picky about the people with which I associate. I really don't have the patience to tolerate someone who I deem unworthy. I just don't have time for people who are totally unaware of themselves. And that encompasses so very many people in so very many ways. Another character flaw I guess that limits my social prospects. So there you are. All caught up on the state of my love life.

The Lord's Prayer in Original Aramaic

TheseHands — Mon, 14 May 2007 06:41:53 GMT

I really dig on this. This is an AWESOME site. You can hear it in the original aramaic too. Abwun the first word refers to brither father/mother cretor/creatrix of the universe. I get real sick of the whole daddy christian mentality. Enjoy! http://www.thenazareneway.com/lords_prayer.htm The Prayer To Our Father (in the original Aramaic) Abwûn "Oh Thou, from whom the breath of life comes, d'bwaschmâja who fills all realms of sound, light and vibration. Nethkâdasch schmach May Your light be experienced in my utmost holiest. Têtê malkuthach. Your Heavenly Domain approaches. Nehwê tzevjânach aikâna d'bwaschmâja af b'arha. Let Your will come true - in the universe (all that vibrates) just as on earth (that is material and dense). Hawvlân lachma d'sûnkanân jaomâna. Give us wisdom (understanding, assistance) for our daily need, Waschboklân chaubên wachtahên aikâna daf chnân schwoken l'chaijabên. detach the fetters of faults that bind us, (karma) like we let go the guilt of others. Wela tachlân l'nesjuna Let us not be lost in superficial things (materialism, common temptations), ela patzân min bischa. but let us be freed from that what keeps us off from our true purpose. Metol dilachie malkutha wahaila wateschbuchta l'ahlâm almîn. From You comes the all-working will, the lively strength to act, the song that beautifies all and renews itself from age to age. Amên. Sealed in trust, faith and truth. (I confirm with my entire being)

What Tarot Card are You??

TheseHands — Sun, 22 Apr 2007 03:29:09 GMT

You are Justice Equity, rightness, probity, executive; triumph of the observing side in law. Justice is about cold, objective balance through reason or natural force. You can't keep smoking and drinking without consequences to your health. It is the card that advises cutting out waste and insists that you make adjustments, do whatever is necessary to bring things back into balance, physically, emotionally, socially, spiritually. It is a card of balance and harmony; if there is imbalance, the correction may require recourse to the law. Wowza! Thanks Maiya!

Buddha quotes

TheseHands — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 06:28:20 GMT

Hindu Prince Gautama Siddharta, the founder of Buddhism, 563-483 B.C. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection. He is able who thinks he is able. Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense. All that we are is the result of what we have thought. A man should first direct himself in the way he should go. Only then should he instruct others. Your work is to discover your work and then with all your heart to give yourself to it. Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, We make our world. Born out of concern for all beings. All things appear and disappear because of the concurrence of causes and conditions. Nothing ever exists entirely alone; everything is in relation to everything else.

Feelin' Happy Again

TheseHands — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 06:24:17 GMT

I have been really down the past few days. It feels like every day I go and take care of people and things go to sleep and do it again the next day. Consequently I feel pretty energentically emptied. So rather than being able to relax and unwind I feel like I just get tighter and tighter. Things kind of came to a head the past few days. I've been moody and feeling awful. HAPPILY all of a sudden I feel like the storm clouds have passed. I feel more centered again. DAMN I need a massage.

All I Want for Valentines Day

TheseHands — Sat, 06 Jan 2007 06:11:38 GMT

All I want for Valentines Day Is a man to do my laundry. To wash and fold and press and hang To finishing all the sundry. He must be easy to train. And not need to be fed, Or led by the hand, Or a drag in bed. A face of an angel he would have And his body would be at its peak. His intellect would be unmatched. But would be completely mute... unable to speak. I want a man without any baggage. No boxes, no suit cases, or overnight bags. He must be by himself alone without friends. Must like overbearing women and not call them nags. But alas I am alone. At home with my cats Jon, Jake, Hal, Jimmy, Kevin, Carl and Dan With nothing to do but pine away, For I have not my servile man.

Philanthropy at its Finest!!!!

TheseHands — Sun, 31 Dec 2006 23:15:44 GMT

Where "Check Please" is Your Call At a new breed of "Robin Hood" restaurants, diners pay what they can afford -- and what they think the meal is worth By PETA OWENS-LISTON SUBSCRIBE TO TIMEPRINTE-MAILMORE BY AUTHOR Posted Tuesday, Dec. 26, 2006 Deciding between the spicy peanut stew and the pesto chicken, or the squash soup and the avocado, chicken, lime soup, are not the only decisions tempting patrons at the One World Café in Salt Lake City and the SAME (So All Might Eat) Café in Denver. They must also decide what the meal is worth. These pay-as-you-can cafes have missions that are unapologetically altruistic—call it serving up fare Robin Hood style. "Our philosophy is that everyone, regardless of economic status, deserves the chance to eat healthy, organic food while being treated with dignity," explains Brad Birky, who opened SAME with his wife, Libby, in October. Customers who have no money are encouraged to exchange an hour of service — sweep, wash the dishes, weed the organic garden — for a meal. Likewise, guests who have money are encouraged to leave a little extra to offset the meals of those who have less to give. "We're a hand up, not a hand out," says One World owner Denise Cerreta, who prides herself on the fact that everyone can afford a meal at her café. An epiphany scribbled out on a cocktail napkin on a plane ride gave birth to SAME café (www.soallmayeat.org). Both Brad and Libby had been searching for a meaningful way to give back while making a living. Admitted volunteer junkies, they had been serving and eating with homeless shelter residents for the past eight years. "We loved the service aspect of giving to the community and attacking the issue of hunger," says Brad. "Plus we both love to cook." When they found out about One World, they flew to Salt Lake City to learn how it was run. Cerreta, in turn, spent a month helping the Birkys prepare for opening. One World has had more than 25 inquiries from others around the country interested in starting a similar café. Recently, the café formed a nonprofit www.oneworldeverybodyeats.comaimed at helping others replicate such a venture. The cafes' clientele is as diverse as the from-scratch buffet-style dishes. Attorneys and CEOs, students, seniors and soccer moms, as well as those down on their luck are among the 150-200 customers that dine daily at One World. Sniffling from a cold, Mike Dega, an environmental engineer, came in looking for comfort food. "I feel like I'm getting a whole new set of nutrients here as opposed to processed food—plus all the spices and flavors here are a real turn-on." The cafés' business models have won fans among the city's well-to-do residents, many of whom regularly dine there. At One World, patrons have given Cerreta a car, bought new dishes, arranged to professionally clean her carpets, supplied new tile for the restaurant bathrooms, and donated property for an organic garden and funded a new irrigation system for it. Last week, a gentleman left a $50 bill next to an empty bowl of soup at SAME. Since opening, one man has regularly come in and left money on the counter without eating, stating "I was blessed today so I though I'd pass it on." He's homeless. Because customers decide on their portion sizes and the fact that most of the food is fresh (as opposed to stocked), very little food is wasted. At the end of the day at One World, only one garbage can needs to be emptied. "I can come in here and eat a ton after a (construction) shift for lunch and pay what I can, and then my mom, who eats a lot less, can just get the amount she wants and pay what she feels is fair," says regular Justin Wood, 25, who is sipping coffee and eating dessert with his mother on a Friday afternoon. Paying the check by honor system has its risks; there are always those who will exploit the opportunity and eat for free — perhaps more so in big cities. At Babu, an Indian restaurant in New York City, the pay-what-you-feel-is-fair method resulted in too many people getting a free meal. One Friday night, a rowdy group of 10 young Indians walked in and took over the restaurant's large central table. Their response to no prices was to leave no money; not even a tip for the wait staff. Babu now states their prices. Birky at SAME has yet to notice anyone not paying. And Cerreta has had to approach only a few people, including one group of diners that paid nothing over several visits. She pointed out that by not paying they were stealing from her. They ended up contributing. Deciding what to pay can give some diners indigestion. So Birky suggests they consider three things: How much did you eat? How much would you pay for that elsewhere? And what is fair to your own budget? Once you're satisfied with the prices, the brie, cranberry and chicken pizza will taste even better.