My Novel
Give this one a think
Fri, December 1, 2006 - 10:49 PM
I am working on a group project for school, and I arranged for a male member of the group to do some research at the courthouse. I called the department; they knew he was coming; they knew what he wanted - it was all arranged. For some reason, he wasn't granted access to the files he needed. When he called to tell me that he was unsuccessful he said, "They wouldn't let me in, but I bet they'll let you in on Mon. You're a lot cuter than I am."
This comment struck me because people (men) actually say it to me a lot: "Oh, they'll do it for you; you're cuter than I am." "Oh send Tova. She's cute; she'll get it done." I used to never think anything of this, but today it hit me. Perhaps the secret is not that I'm cute. Perhaps (humor me here), perhaps I am intelligent and polite, and I know how to operate a system. Perhaps I listen to instructions, read the fine print, and am willing to compromise. I don't want to sound like someone who hears sexism everywhere she goes, but always tossing off my success as my being cute seriously undermines the effort and perseverance it put into my work.
And some of the shit I've pulled off...well, I ain't THAT cute.
Fri, December 1, 2006 - 10:49 PM -
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Sat, December 2, 2006 - 12:36 AM
Cute helps...
...but without wits it doesn't mean much. These guys sound like they are uncomfortable with your looks and your wits. Men get clumsy around attractive, smart women. It's difficult for (some) men to accept a woman as a supervisor, for example. But your kung fu is good enough-- in their feeble way, they are trying to say that they think you're cute. Take it as a clumsy (perhaps inappropriate) compliment. There's no sin in having charisma and smarts-- don't let the whiners tell you you are pressing an unfair advantage.
Men are trained to believe that they are smarter and stronger than women. It's tough for them to think that there is someone stronger, younger, smarter, or prettier than themselves, and that person might be a woman. Call it "heterophobia." Great photo. |
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Sun, December 3, 2006 - 1:38 AM
bullshit.
i *hate* it when someone attributes my ability to get stuff done to "cuteness" or whatever other diminutive excuse for anything other than skill. face it: when i want something, i generally can get it done. however i get it done has absolutely nothing to do with cuteness, and everything to do with my ability to manipulate the people/system/known rules in the way that suits me and works well. it's skill and talent, not any similarity to a puppy or someone's little sister. |
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Mon, December 4, 2006 - 4:20 AM
Yeah, you get things done because you are intelligent and polite and I know how to operate a system. You listen to instructions, read the fine print, and are willing to compromise. And you are a babe.
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Wed, December 13, 2006 - 8:25 PM
Obviously I'm missing something
Squeak and I hear each other here. Yeah, we're cute - and thank you by the way. But I guarentee that if you put a bombshell bimbo in my place, neither Jack nor Shit would get done. It HAS to be more than smiles and hair tossing. Now, I'll grant you that there may be an element of confidence that allows some of us make outrageous demands in a delightful manner. This is not innate with being cute 'cause I definately know some gorgeous Barbi dolls who cannot speak above a whisper and give limp-fish handshakes. Perhaps what I'm missing here is that I don't rollover and comply with every cute person's request. Do you?
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