I am fleshy
I burn with friends
I write poems in icing
I brake for enticing smiles
I make love on the interstate

I am the five jiggers of whiskey you drank before the ride. I am the sound of water singing to a full bladder. I found Waldo trying on your underwear. I don't chew gum. I saw you flick that booger in the theater. I changed my name so that you will call me Baby. I bake 30 minute brownies in 20 minutes. I don't buy into corporate culture. I send email through my missing wisdom teeth. I french inhale. I want you to cum first. I section off my rooms into war zones and pit couch against futon, lamp against carpet. I can't tell you how it is. I found a lucky penny. I don't eat the yellow snow. I do my thang. Classroom chairs make my ass itch. I want to browse your hard-drive. I have plants in my closet that can get you high. I like Pie. I hide condoms in strategic places around town. I am a modern whiteman with the soul of an Amazonian shaman. I find pleasure in riding my bike in circles around the cars at the stop light. My beard is a magical beast from another land. I give in to the funk. I give gifts that keep on giving. I want Costco to sell prOn in bulk. I talk to strangers. I can't care about classists and other meaningless minds. I always chew my lifesavers. I see all inkblots as representations of your inner soul. I am not a slave. I am told that I am not a "real" American. I am this close | | to palming a basketball. I want to be reborn as a shallow, ugly dwarf so I can look up your skirt. All I want is what I want. Helicopters make my head spin. I own 5.166 quarts of blood that I regularly pump through my veins. I am an anti-fascist, pro-humanity, progressive, fiscal-conservative with libertarian bents and a mindful of unfinished busine I tone vowel sounds in the shower. I can't live without chocolate. I practice original sin and am getting extremely good at it. I am sad because I don't own cowboy boots. I follow rainbows. I am always two bits shy of a buck and a half. I can't get excited about war. I am teh internets. I want you. I tap my foot to silence. I grow double-dwarf bonsai fescue in a vase on my desk. I am the Walrus, CooCooKaChoo. My Mayan birthdate should be framed. I return books. I break the law when it harms no one. I shamelessly flirt with gay men. I fly. I was voted best foot-massage at the hot tub party. I collect tone-poems so I can say I am Bohemian. I gamble against life and have never lost. I've killed every houseplant I have ever had, except one. I write letters and mail them to myself to save stamps. I prefer the nighttime. I was given a posthumous lifetime achievement award after my last incarnation. I am naked at the hot springs. I like gardening and don't care if you think that it is "interesting". I balance angels on my nose. I free-associate every word you speak. I lick the inside of my cappuccino cup. I make sounds like a bird when you lick my navel. I cultivate mojo with compost and organic fertilizer. I want an accent so my trite words will sound sexy. I am a rookie. I changed my hair color when I was seven and my eyes when I was sixteen. I love you for your mind, really! I drink tea like a chinese peasant. I renewed my subscription to serendipity. I weigh 11.07 stones. I am 63% luddite. I stopped the elevator to hold you in my arms. I am Totoro, a greenman. I experiment with exotic salt when I cook. I love what you have done with your hair. I save rubber bands. I aspire to constant post-coitus glow. I am a native Californian. I feel no remorse about my piracy, arrgh. I was born with a cone-shaped head. I finish crossword puzzles with my eyes closed. I will lick your toes if you let me. I have an unquenchable fire in my ribcage that I will gladly light your cigarette with. I am not a hipster. I named my bicycle. I have a love affair with soft-ripened French cheese. I want to fulfill my fantasies. I left my third-grade teacher worrying about me. I am not as funny as I think I am. I howl at the moon. I hug trees before I climb them. I am man, hear me whimper in the face of post-feminist Amerika. I change overnight. I wear my hair the way I do because I know you think I look totally uncool. I think Jesus hates the church. I squeeze melons in the store. I arrange flowers to calm my turbulent soul.

I will live forever or die trying.
I am starting the revolution.
I am not your bitch.
Are you mine?
I think not.