I'm talkin' 'bout...

Mourning

TribalGuy — Sat, 29 Sep 2007 02:52:13 GMT

At the end of evening on Tuesday, September 18th, my beloved friend, companion and family member, Dakshayini, was put to sleep. In brief, she'd been struggling and worsening as Summer progressed. I was able to spend one last, golden afternoon with her at our favorite Bertha Brock Park. Now she is gone. Those of you who knew Daksha, would you please devote a moment of thought to her? Perhaps a fond memory, or just aknowledgement of her abundant energy. I used to say she couldn't have been more my child than if she'd been born from my body. I was not a perfect parent. Loyal even so, she taught me more than anyone else about Love and patience. We weathered lovers and friends, houses and highways and the decrease of our family. Daksha and I lost our cat, Maggie, two years ago. And now my Daksha girl is gone, too. I read an account years ago from a man who had just lost his dog. He recounted how his father helped him throught the loss of his first dog, his boyhood pet. His father comforted him in loss and grief and the slow, slow cessation of sorrow. In terms appealing to a little boy who wanted to be more grown up, he told the author he would now be one Dog old. The author states, at the end of his narrative, how more profound than the marking of a decade is the marking of a loved one's death. Goodnight, my Dakshayini. Today the sun seems dimmed... and I am one Dog old.

Sitting in my juices...

TribalGuy — Sun, 06 May 2007 06:49:58 GMT

Not even simmering, not even stewing. Just sitting. Feels like stagnation, except I know it's just a much slower pace of change than I'd prefer. I need this time to sort many aspects of my life and ask myself questions only I know the answers to. And some of those answers are not clear to me yet. Nor some of the questions. So I feel impatient, which, of course, rarely facillitates clarity. I was so looking forward to changing my life, in a certain dierection, on a certain trajectory. But now is not the time for it. And I am sad. I need to offeset my sadness with respect for the reasons why, and do my best to houseclean my entire life. Head, heart, all of it. If I don't do it now, I will never be able to move forward. I see that now, and am grateful for clarity on that issue. Now for all the rest... Breathe in , breathe out. Breathe in...

Breathing free air

TribalGuy — Sun, 18 Feb 2007 06:12:31 GMT

Sometimes in life, I've felt so much the pressure of contraction, and I can't stand it after awhile. I feel all stagnant and spoiled, like the skin of a tomato too long in the back of the fridge. But now, thanks to a good friend, I feel a joy and hopefulness I haven't felt for years. I am ready to move on in my life, and I am offered the help I need by my friend. How cool is that? I wll be more specific as details are set, but it feels so good to have this fresh air to breathe, after too long of shallow, fetid wafts. Or deep gulps of mustiness, filling my lungs with a despondant complacency. Well, I am no longer complacent, but vibrant. Thanks for helping me, you KNOW who you are.

Cuz I'm tired...

TribalGuy — Tue, 07 Nov 2006 08:28:37 GMT

Just wanna say I posted a true story of my dance inspiration on my blog at ravenburnz on myspace. I just can't type it all again, so here's hoping ya find yer way there! Peaceout, ya'll

The new and improved...

TribalGuy — Tue, 07 Nov 2006 06:30:07 GMT

So the weekend before Halloween, Marquis and I were set to dance at a gig in Chicago. Contrary to my usual approach, I was scrambling at the last minute to even choose my music, let alone have an outline of movement.(Tribal is improv, after all.) I was so flipped out, and my stress wasn't getting me anywhere. I'd like to take a moment and thank three key people who helped me through my self-made crisis. Marquis, for being my best friend and knowing so well how to get through to me. Kelly, who had orgainsed the gig, and was hilarious in her encouragements. And Frank F, who had some terrific advice for re-focusing my energy. Due to all these, I was able to get over myself and have a great evening. I felt comfortable and competent. It showed. I got many complimentary comments and was engaged several times in very energetic conversation. I had chosen Lisa Gerard's 'The Pilgrimage of Lost Children', a rather slow, hypnotic song. I felt quite capable of moveing to this, and I'd practiced and stressed about it for days beforehand. My performance was not perfect, but it felt good and soild. I like it well enough to continue working it, and will add it to my repertoire. I'm mentioning it at all cuz I realize there's so much more for me to do!!! I have been feeling my way through fears and trepidations about doing solo work here in my hometown. I have definitely hit the wall of "I am the only obstacle in my way." So now, I must move beyond it and allow myself to achieve new goals. Which sounds so easy, yeah? Well, um, not in reality. I realize how often I've kept myself small or invisisble, out of what? Fear? Insecurity? These things no longer are strong enough to keep me hidden from myself and my fellow planet-folk. I'll be letting al y'all know what new venues I've secured as soon as I've secured them. I need to do a bit of legwork and get myslef out there in the community. But I think it won't take long to get started on some new dance adventures. I'm lucky to be the only guy in town and one of the only Tribal Bellydancers here. I've got some terrific peers in Bellydance. I know I can get into the scene again with no issues. So wish me luck and I'll keep wishing for you all, too! Tondu, close, Tondu, close, Tondu, close, plie`!

There can be only one Ra...

TribalGuy — Wed, 20 Sep 2006 14:57:59 GMT

So there I was, innocently reading the Indigo site, when I followed this youtube link to a video of a REALLY great male belydancer. And I'm watching it thinking "Awww, shit. He's really good. Now I gotta find him, and kill him." Oh, alright. I'm not gonna kill him. He is really good, though. Now, I myself am possesed of some killer backbends. This guy can do them and the turkish drops, too. Fucker. *sigh* Just means I gotta get my ass dancing more. Which is never a bad thing. Humour aside, it was very inspiring to see this guy, Frank, shake his moneymaker. I truly enjoy watching other dancers and he is a step above, for real. So let's all keep dancing, my Bellydancing Family. Let's keep inspiring each other to do snakier, deeper, lockier stuff. Let's keep egging each other on. Let's keep encouraging one another to do our best. Thanks, all you bright stars who shine in my life.

Well, I am truly tired...

TribalGuy — Tue, 19 Sep 2006 19:14:36 GMT

Marquis and I had a fab weekend at the Michigan Ren fest dancing with our friends Carnivale Mijnoon and to the excellent music of Djilia Phralengo. But now my ass is whooped! I have slept for 10 hours today and have to work in a little while. Standing for the next 6 hours should be really fun. No, really... Ah, well. If this is all I can think of to bitch about, life ain't too bad. Peace, y'all