Man, what a timwarp... Im meeting all of these people I havent seen since grade school, its kind of weird... Ohh I forgot to mention. Im here for Xmas. Visiting Family.. Its been quite a task dealing with making food and for Xmaseve cause we are having people over. But my mom, grama and I cooked a bunch of food and then I went out to a bar to visit friends. and its kind of weird being back... I feel like the same people are doing the same things here and havent changed. well at least some of the people I have seen. This one guy I know every time I come back I see im at any particular bar that I end up visiting, and I wonder if he spends his time anywhere else.. My friends say he has been in and out of rehab and that he goes to meetings and afterwards comes straight to the bars. He has had seisures semi frequentley and the doctor say he is drinking himself to death... I feel sad to see him do that to himself, but I also remember that everything happens for a reason. He could be going thougth this now, so in the next life he doesnt have to go though it again, or he may learn somthing before the end.. its allways hard to see the truth in everything sometimes, even thought you are really searching for it.

I saw this girl from grade school, the very first girl I kissed. I didn even reconize her untill she told me who she was. and it all started flodding back to me, the hay ride, all of us were exploring our sexuality.. She was a fun girl I remember that... I felt like we had a connection. And wouldnt have minded seeing her again before I left, but I dont think it was going that direction... I ask her if she was single and she had been single for like 5 years. I remember saying that its hard to find someone that you really connect with, with me being the type of guy I am, its difficult to get close to someone when you dont know where its going to lead... fears are probabley involved, who knows. anyway i was happy to see everyone and I have strange feelings going on about this whole ordeal,lol but had fun.

Anyway I really miss all you guys, I know you are doing xmas stuff, but I wish you well durring the holidays and will chat with you soon when I get back..

Much love, trinsic.