Dear Dairy

A busy life is very nice

trinsic — Tue, 27 Nov 2007 12:48:15 GMT

Hey everyone just wanted to let you all know I was alive. Things have been starting to pick up in my professional life. Work has been coming from all directions. Websites to build. Clients that need help with their computers.. I was getting a little worried there for awhile. But im happy I don't have to beg for money on the street.... JK. Also I have been busy with my jewelry making and video projects, you can see some of the photos of the stuff I am working on at http://www.guruextraordinaire.com/gallery2/main.php A friend and I started working on a video project for you tube that is in the works. Ill send more details over when we get more solid on when its going to be done. I had a dream awhile back that was interesting. I visited a small country/island. On the island there was this rope dangling down from the sky. When I initially sat foot on the island I was with a long time friend I know from the real world but have ceased to talk to each other as our lives got busy. We trekked to the insertion point, but i was too afraid to climb the rope, it was very far up and if I faltered I would fall to my death. So I spent a little time talking to the locals trying to get information on how to do it. I didn't get much help and tried to leave. On my way out I was stopped by a check point officer who didn't believe I said I was, he kept asking for more identification then I had and rejected my passage I remember trying to show him something on my laptop, and then a print out of set of pictures came out of a printer. I left and made my way around the island trying to figure out what to do. I went back to the office and talked to one another officer of the law, I tried to explain my story but he was not paying very much attention to me. I asked him if he felt like he was treating my fairly and thats when he changed his behavior and started to listen. When he heard me out we found ourselves outside with a couple of his henchmen. He called the officer who detained me and ask him to meet us. I started to get the feeling that they were all corrupted here and said I didn't feel to good about this whole thing. I was standing on a fence and they were below me on either side of the fence. one of the henchmen walked toward the fence a tried to detain me. The others started to move toward me as I evaded the first henchman's grasp and ran off running on top of the fence to the end. A chase begun between his two henchman around the island. I made my way to a church, one that I had seen before in a picture when I arrived on the island. Once i reached it I turned around and said, this is holy land, you cannot kill me here. Then I woke up. I have some ideas about what it meant, but It would sure be helpful hearing from anyone had a take on it if it were their dream.

In the Pursuit of Stability and Security: Things could be better

trinsic — Mon, 17 Sep 2007 08:58:31 GMT

I haven't been around lately. Things have taken a drastic turn in my professional life as I have allowed one of my clients to treat me with Second Class Behavior. From the very start the person wasn't respecting my time, and from my point of view was dishonest with me in a number of areas. I allowed it to happen because my financial situation is in serious jeperody. But I have reached a point where things were not going to change and I had to let him go. Now i am worse of than I was before and I'm in the process of having to find work outside of my independent consultant business as my money situation is really bad. I want to be able to live free of having to answer to someone, and I have been doing my best to make this happen... Not sure what is going to happen. I feel like im not getting any breaks from the universe. I took a huge risk in putting myself out there to work for myself and spending all this time to make it happen, only to find that I'm not being treated very well, having to reassess my boundaries with clients constantly, living from check to check and wondering if and when I am going to be able to make it every month. Your prayers would sure help right now, if I haven't emailed you back yet its because I don't want my reaction to this situation to leak out into my relationships with people in unhealthy ways.

Dream: Trainride

trinsic — Sat, 25 Aug 2007 08:21:12 GMT

I had a dream I was on a train to a destination unknown there were no windows on this train. and it felt like I was inside of a metal rusted container suddenly the train rumbled to a stop. A women appeared, it was a old friend of mine I have lost touch with from years ago. Back then I had fell in love with my idea of who she was. We tried a couple of times to get together, but our own past prevented it, mine was neediness and obsession, and hers was fear and trust with men in general. In the dream she walked up to me and showed me a letter. She was furious and accusatory. it read about her termination as I think she had a job on the train I was on. By her reaction I felt that I was the cause of her termination then she disappeared and the letter remained in my hands. Another girl I didn't know, possibly the supervisor appeared, handing me my own pink slip as if I also was an employee on the train, she whispered to me that I need to listen more. (Direct statement and very ironic). I got off the train and woke up shortly afterwards. The next day my social interactions were very heart based, and I felt like a big weight had lifted from my life. I feel like I am now free to be vulnerable and open with women I meet. fear of rejection is gone. Its strange this days everywhere I go, ever women I see, I want to stop and talk, or just let them know that I enjoy feeling their beauty. As each women has their own special qualities, and each give off a different energy. And sometimes they want to feel mine which i am not always ready for. haha :)

My experience at a 5 day silent retreat at Spirit Rock Mediation Center

trinsic — Tue, 29 May 2007 22:12:31 GMT

I am have trouble describing it without using terms that would cause me to create an identity out of my experience, good or bad, which I don't want to do, So I will say how I am feeling now. I feel much more clear headed. I have this feeling of "Ahh, whatever" to whatever comes up in my day. Its not the typical whatever response as in I don't want to be troubled with whatever. But more along the lines of whatever happens is going to happen and I don't really have any position which way it goes. Its more of a feeling of being detached to the outcome of each and every moment without feeling like im removed from the quality of life. I wonder how long its gonna last. Actually now that I think about it I found myself getting annoyed slightly after I got back, but at least I was aware of it and calmed down. Traffic can be a pain in the ass when you need to get to a movie on time, I don't like to miss previews. So life is an interesting experience I feel like I have more clarity and am more open to ideas and situations I wasn't previously comfortable with. I acquired a cold 2 days before I was to leave the retreat and missed some of the talks they were having, but the staff there were so gentile with me, since i couldn't get out of bed for fear of falling over due to dizziness they were kind enough to bring me food and the Manager brought me taped recordings of the the last talk in which the one of the teachers was talking about a sickness he got when he went to India, and how its really easy to make an identity of being sick. So I picked up on that right away and did my best to not try to do that and it seemed to go ok. When someone would ask me about it I could happily respond that the sickness within me has dissipated somewhat and knowing that process helps me to accept the fact that I am feeling better. I'm seeing this really awesome girl now. she is about 10 years older than me, and I like the fact that she is really uninhibited and less restrictive of her life and the people around her, its really a rare gift. She is also very expressive in how she communicates and I really enjoy that. I realized after all my suffering with the whole dating scene, was that i was trying to get women to fit into my view of what I really awesome girl is, which wasn't fair to them or me. Now I know that I just need to let people be as they are and focus on recognizing the rare gifts that everyone has even though it doesn't always line up to my view of what good qualities are in people. If you are someone that felt that way when you have communicated with me I want to ask you for forgiveness for my limitations in understanding you

Dance classes and other fun stuff

trinsic — Fri, 06 Apr 2007 10:07:34 GMT

Things have been going great, accept for the fact I already had typed this blog entry but my browser crashed right in the middle of it. Now I just installed a form autosave extension for firefox. Hommie don't play that. My beginning dance class is awesome, out of all the dance classes I have learned: Modern and Ballet, Jazz is the coolest, very relaxed style, I like it. Hip hop is last, im probably going to like that too. I signed up for the "spring break crash course beginning dance reloaded". Next week, Monday though Friday 9am to 4pm of dance highlights from the 4 dance schools im learning in my main class. I know im insane, get use to it. OK so the plug for the fim festival, I had something witty to say in my previous blog entry that crashed but I forgot what it was so its lost now. WTF?, you got nothing going on next weekend anyway, come visit me at the film festival 11th-15th, im working nights at Ria's lounge. Ohh and there are movies too if you are interested in that sort of thing. We'll have drinks and dance the night away. :) http://www.sonomafilmfest.org

A letter to the last Demon within (Something is not quite right in the world to day, Part 2)

trinsic — Fri, 23 Mar 2007 05:03:31 GMT

How I am thinking about my life today I know is all wrong. That if only I can change the negative things in my life into positive that this war withing myself will one day end and I will be free of the pain of my past. If I have a negative belief about myself and I recognize that it exists, I can replace it with something positive and I have done that time and time again. I really appreciate life and everything around me, but on some level I feel broken. Even though I know its not the entire truth, that ideal still invades my consciousness. A set of laws I created about myself close to the beginning of my life that I use to sentence myself to a life of suffering over and over again for the same mistake I made one day in the past when I decided that I wasn't good enough. As I reach the threshold of letting these laws go I'm noticing that part of myself that wants me to remain the same, is ramping up its efforts to trick me into devaluing my life. That demon from the shadows, who has become one from whats left of the others I have defeated. He uses a single shadow form to concentrate his attacks now and he continues to follow me into the dessert under the hot sun, waiting for me to falter. I catch him circling my boundary out of the corner of my vision. Forward and then back again, testing my defenses waiting for the right time to strike. Ive become so accustom to this attack that I can predict when its going to happen in my mind and see it for what it really is. But now he has switched tactics. On some level he can control other people that I have just started encountering to take advantage of my weaknesses. People that have let their own defenses down and identify with a similar energy pattern that still exists within me. Even if I see it coming and KNOW that it is not about me, there is still a part of me that believes there is some truth to what was said. In the end, it comes down to this one single statement. Am I going to continue living with a lie? or am I going to go into why I chose to believe a lie in the first place and transmute base metal into gold. Can I deal with that? Do I even know what it is? I'm waking up every day now with the belief that the end of my life is just around the corner. "One more day to truly live the way I always wanted to live, and one more day to say what I always wanted to say." Demon, I know you. Ill never forget what you have done to me but I forgive your transgressions on my life. I hope one day you can find peace so that we can live in harmony with the universe as it was meant to be from the beginning of time. Yours, Trinsic.

I talked to a homeless person on the street today

trinsic — Mon, 12 Mar 2007 06:13:48 GMT

Im very sad today, and I know it sounds clichéd to care about homeless people but today I was walking back from the bar and I saw this homeless person limping down the street with a cane that I have seen before walking into bars I have been. The last time saw him he walked in while I was talking to a friend as if he recognized me and I explained that I wasn't that person that he knew... Just then bartenders told him to leave but it left me feeling uneasy. Today I saw that guy again and as I was walking by. I said Hi to him. He said hi back and asked me for two dollars. normally I if I had the money I would lend it to him, but something inside me said to ask him what its for so I did and he said it was for beer. I asked why he wanted beer, and he said it gave him an opportunity to talk to people. just then I felt a wave of grief wash over me as he talked about a situation where he was abused by a friend that he let it his hotel room. He was able to kick the person out of the hotel room before it got to violent, but the person that he knew from the street came back to the door and said that god said that he shouldn't hurt him any more and that he was sorry, and the homeless person told me he had replied that god told him not to hit him with his cane any more (which apparently he did to get him out of the apartment). I don't know why but I really identified with that and walked with him down the street and just listened to him talk about his experiences. it seem like a very natural thing to do.. I asked him if he had some place to stay and he said there was a shelter but that they screen for intoxication by giving breathalysers and that he wouldn't be allowed to stay their because he had been drinking. As we reached the street I was on, i broke off to head for home. I asked him if he was able to get sober so that he could stay somewhere safe, as he told me he was living on park benches. He said that he didn't want to get sober. and I said, "so you made your decision then, you choose to live the way you want at the expense of your safety" and he replied "I'm an a adult, I can decide was best for me now" I said "ok I understand." I cried after that, and I don't know why, but it inspires me to be of some assistance to people that are in need. I feel like heading down to that shelter and helping somehow. People don't deserve to live that way, why cant I help people who choose pain and suffering over a good life (whatever that is? what is the universe trying to tell me. What do I need to do? people don't deserve to live like that even if they choose it, but I guess I have no control over that, but it still makes me sad none the less. I realize that god is somehow talking to me though him, I dont know how and it sounds crazy, but I see a glimpse of the divine though him. I just want to be a good person, that is all i ask of this life. Just let me do that somehow. I love people so much, what can I do to help..

Where's my damn books? Dating and Stuff

trinsic — Tue, 30 Jan 2007 21:29:20 GMT

So I ordered some used books for my jewelery making class online through amazon.com. I figured ohh ill have plenty of time to receive them before my class starts, well I didn't realize it can some times take 2 weeks for an item to be delivered to you so I am still waiting on this one book for my class and need to start studying metal shaping techniques.. been winging it so far. we are just doing drawings of different ideas for a project. I want to do something specific but the teacher is like this hen mother and she wants us to work on stuff that has not been done before, but I want to do something that has been done before... ohh well, I really want to learn this and the teacher has been doing this for 30 years so its probably a good idea that I am just going with what she says. I'm starting to wonder if I have some kind of radar inside me that spots girls that are already taken.. So far every girl I have spent some time getting to know to see if she is worth dating has resulted in finding out that she is spoken for.. Its an interesting dilemma, maybe I'm messing it up right now, who knows :) I'm just glad im able to have a few cool women friends in my life. I love being around them, its a great perspective. I'm sure if I have things going on that are not perceived as attractive, Ill figure it out. At the same time I am a great guy and deserve a good women in my life, so it will happen when it happens. :) One thing I do notice is that I'm not always very aggressive in going after things. Like if I see a girl that I like, I dont just run up to her and start talking to her. I kind of like scope out the situation wait for her to come into my space and then make a comment or two about something interesting. and then I can get into a conversation. Thing is that doesn't always happen though. Alot of time girls want guys to approach them. Or in most cases dont like being approached at all. Then it gets difficult to have positive conversation so I dont really like that aspect of dating. I like things to happen naturally, but sometimes you have to kind of coax it. I dont always have this spontaneous energy to go talking to everyone i meet either. im kind of selective and watchful. Timing is one thing I am always struggling with. Alot of times its just the wrong time to talk to a girl you are interested in. :) What else is going on in my life thats interesting. I think I have issues with money. I want to make more money, but I dont always act to make things happen that will get me what I want. So i want to do better with following up on things that are important to my well being. As I will be leaving my part time Job and supporting myself primarily on my consulting business. Fixing computers Web Design and Video. I want to travel and stuff and I want to have enough money for that so Id like to put out into the world that I need courage to be more persistent in making things happening in my life and staying open to new things that manifest them selfs. Hope everyone is having a great week. Trinsic.

Who gave me this cold?

trinsic — Wed, 24 Jan 2007 08:37:01 GMT

All I know is, A week ago I thought I had slipped though the "cold" season cracks unscathed.. and im annoyed that it caught up with me. My dreams last night involved something about "you can run but you cant hide". Who has it out for me? Im a simple man with simple desires, being healthy so I don't have to miss classes. And this semester is ruff, I attended anyway because I cant really miss anything this early in the semester. My English class started off with a bang, first week 500 word essay and 4 chapters to read. I am really enjoying it. I get to talk about how my opinions differ from the author's. The book I am writing an essay on is called "Hunger of Memory" by Richard Rodriguez. Its a autobio of his life during his transformation from his Spanish speaking home life to an English speaker public life. Its interesting but I disheartening to watch people try to define them selfs from their past, or from other peoples view of the world, which he talks about subjecting himself to. The teacher was surprised when I brought up that point. Focusing to much on the past as a way to define your life only brings misery because you can never be who you once where, you can only be who you are now, and the now is always changing. The only thing solid about life for me is change, everything else is uncertain, and I try to maintain that awareness as much as I can. Its my second dance class, its a beginning class that touches on a few different forms, mostly to get you used to movement. I have always wanted to learn how to dance. There is something magical about watching two people move together on the dance floor, and I have been putting it of f for a couple of years now. Its so cool to watch my body move with some relative fluidity.. I'm like, "Hey! I can do that particular movement with my body, and it looks pretty cool!" tee hee I'm tapping my slippers together and repeating "There's no place like school, and I wont be sick tomorrow"

Im back in Chicago

trinsic — Sat, 24 Dec 2005 08:00:20 GMT

Man, what a timwarp... Im meeting all of these people I havent seen since grade school, its kind of weird... Ohh I forgot to mention. Im here for Xmas. Visiting Family.. Its been quite a task dealing with making food and for Xmaseve cause we are having people over. But my mom, grama and I cooked a bunch of food and then I went out to a bar to visit friends. and its kind of weird being back... I feel like the same people are doing the same things here and havent changed. well at least some of the people I have seen. This one guy I know every time I come back I see im at any particular bar that I end up visiting, and I wonder if he spends his time anywhere else.. My friends say he has been in and out of rehab and that he goes to meetings and afterwards comes straight to the bars. He has had seisures semi frequentley and the doctor say he is drinking himself to death... I feel sad to see him do that to himself, but I also remember that everything happens for a reason. He could be going thougth this now, so in the next life he doesnt have to go though it again, or he may learn somthing before the end.. its allways hard to see the truth in everything sometimes, even thought you are really searching for it. I saw this girl from grade school, the very first girl I kissed. I didn even reconize her untill she told me who she was. and it all started flodding back to me, the hay ride, all of us were exploring our sexuality.. She was a fun girl I remember that... I felt like we had a connection. And wouldnt have minded seeing her again before I left, but I dont think it was going that direction... I ask her if she was single and she had been single for like 5 years. I remember saying that its hard to find someone that you really connect with, with me being the type of guy I am, its difficult to get close to someone when you dont know where its going to lead... fears are probabley involved, who knows. anyway i was happy to see everyone and I have strange feelings going on about this whole ordeal,lol but had fun. Anyway I really miss all you guys, I know you are doing xmas stuff, but I wish you well durring the holidays and will chat with you soon when I get back.. Much love, trinsic.

I saw a breakup on the street today

trinsic — Thu, 15 Dec 2005 05:49:36 GMT

I wonder what life would be like free of pain. I was walking home from the bar this evening and I saw this couple. The man was waving his hands around like he has had enough and then he broke the conversation off and walked by me with the most intense look I have never seen. As I passed I looked behind me and the girl was standing by the passanger door with the devasted look in her eye. It hurt and I didnt even know them.. So much pain in this world and so little time to really see that we dont live on this earth very long. Why spend it fighting amongts each other? It doesnt make any sense to me, and it doenst belong in this world. Pain is not what we were cut out to be.. Sure we live with pain, but it only becomes productive if it is learned from.. But who im a to judge... I just feel very empathic to peoples emotions, contrary to popular belief. There isnt a day that goes by now where I dont appericate the life that has been given to me, and I try and try to make things right in my life but I feel like its not happening fast enough... I cant allways accept where im at and at the same time I fully understand that I need to be here, to carry the meaning into the next day where it makes an impact on my life sitaution. Thanks for listening, I hope your days go well.

Meditation changes your life

trinsic — Thu, 08 Dec 2005 21:07:41 GMT

I swear to god, or whatever you believe in that I feel my life changing in so many positive ways because I have been taking time out to mediate daily. At first when someone suggested it to me, i was like... umm i have better things to do I could be computer gaming for one more hour, sleeping longer, masturbating, whatever. Anything but just sitting there in silence doing nothing. But once I started to doing it 20mins a day, I started to realize the flow of life around me, its everywhere. in the space between the walls of my room and me. The people I meet and me, a simple touch between you a me. Its all there.. Its almost if the space that we cant see is more important that things that occupy that space. Its what allows those things to be. Anyway its like im on a high 247. I am happy, I greet people with a friendly attitude. I dont think twice about helping someone in need. I do everything I need to do right now, not later. Also I have been noticing that i need less sleep to. Has anyone had any experiences like this?

Somthing is not quite right with the world today

trinsic — Tue, 04 Oct 2005 08:49:55 GMT

I have spent the week walking over barren rock in the hot sun. The sun plays tricks on my mind, and I see things in the distance I’m not supposed to see. I see another image of myself walking ahead of me. It looks as if he is walking in reverse, and then my surroundings change. I go there and back again. Flickering back and forth between two places I don’t understand and cannot comprehend. I make's no difference because I cannot see the end of my journey. I only know that I’m walking and I suffer under the hot sun. It’s as if I am inside a shell, the shell is turning but I'm not moving. I’m tired of wondering where I am, and btw, where am I going? I feel like I have been here before but I don’t remember how I had gotten free, If I ever was free in the first place. Whatever freedom is, it doesn’t exist in this pace. Only endless suffering under the sun. The sun that never sets, day in and day out. A sun you cannot hide from no matter where you go or what you do. It follows you to the brink of insanity. I never thought, to this day I would live out my days on this hostile world, where nobody knows my name, they don’t even speak my language. The few that I do see are after me, and I don’t even know them, nor do they look like me. Of what I can see of them anyway, the sun plays tricks on my mind, and they look like something I have never seen before. When I spot one, I catch a flicker of some dreadful beast in the corner of my eye, but when I turn toward them they appear only as shadows with no physical form. Circling around me like vultures, ready to suck the life out of me the moment I falter. If they would only take form, I would surely kill them. These are still the same creatures that have haunted me my entire life and even now, on this distant planet, they still can haunt me. The one thing I would have been grateful for, out of all the pain and suffering I have brought upon myself by coming here, was to be free of them. Still they remain. There is nothing left but the barren wasteland and my shadows, I cant even feel my feet anymore, as a walk along, trying to catch up to my other self that continues to walk backwards, you think I would catch up to him sooner or later, but somehow its not happening that way.

Portland is a great city

trinsic — Tue, 06 Sep 2005 05:45:02 GMT

Im here visiting friends in Portland, and am having a great time. One thing I have noticed is that people in Portland seem much more friendly in person, than people in the bay area. I actually get "good morning", and "how are you today". Girls dont freak out when you ask them what time it is.. Much different then where I live, but I could be jaded.. This trip has really been a very good experience for me, I have been learning allot about humility and understanding. I’m a type of person that likes to do things on my own mostly, and meet up with people later on, instead of staying with friends. I thought it would work out staying with a friend of mine, but we had some trouble relating in close proximity. Long story short we worked it out, but I know now I cant impose on friends for too long, I like my own space and like doing things my own way. I understand i need to work with people, but I'm going through a period in my life where I need to make decisions about what I want on my own with out having to factor in other peoples wants. The clubs here are great meet some wonderful people and look forward to seeing them again.

On my way to portland

trinsic — Wed, 31 Aug 2005 05:07:24 GMT

So my trip to portland is getting close, Ill be gone over labor day to visit my friends. Im just getting prepped, had to by a new backpack at REI, I dont know if I have ever told anyone but REI kicks fucking ass! I just love that place, money just pours out of my pockets when I arrive on scene. Anyway after that I went to the book store (my favorite place to go) and while I was there I had a smoothy, but the really interesting part was I feel in love with this one book on the spot. Its called The Dive, A Story of Love and Obsession by Pippin Ferreras, its a memoir about the love of his life and their trek to the bottom of the oceans. They are both free divers and its this story of over coming fear and loss, meeting yourself at the bottom of the ocean, a very moving story about life and how things are always changing. I couldn't even get though thee first few pages without becoming very emotional. its a topic that really touches close to my heart, the ability we as humans have, to over come all odds in the face of overwhelming obstacles. Anyway I knew if I started reading it Id be balling in the store so I deiced to come back and get a copy later.. When I really think about it, from a perspective from someone who lost a loved one, like that guy in the book, I look around me and really appreciate where im at in my life. Everything I see around me suddenly becomes a whole lot brighter. The world feels me with joy, and everything is as it should be, with out a fight, im living a very satisifing and happy life. I long to be my truest self with out all the baggage, some day it will happen, hell its happening right now.

Dear Dairy again

trinsic — Sun, 28 Aug 2005 05:47:13 GMT

So im here relaxing, listening to some Thievery Corp. Looking up stuff to do in Portland. Ill be traveling there over labor day to meet some of you people. Im glad to be getting out of her for awhile, I get lazy when im not in a constant state of flux. Anyway Im working on a screen play. its pretty much done. I need to do one more rewrite and I think im good. (Think I have been saying this for months, now but cant remember, its all a blur) Its a comedy about cellphone use in public places X 10. I have my main actor on board, and am looking for two others, I need a tall guy that has kind of a attitude, but over the top.. And a 15 to 20 year old white male to play a wannabe rapper. I also am looking for a girl 15 to 20 to play a customer service counter girl for a bookstore, that always seems to be on the phone when you need her most. Im excited to be directing this piece its going to be allot of fun, lots of funny little moments that everyone experiences on their cellphone or around people that are on there own. I had a dream last night that I was rewritting my script, the very one im working on now. Probabley a good idea If I do some writing tonight. So im going to put in a good effort to get most of the rewrite done.

Dear Dairy

trinsic — Mon, 22 Aug 2005 03:03:43 GMT

So I'm totally bored right now waiting for my vegi stew to complete, cause im hungry. I figured Id try this blog thinggy and see what kinds of emails it brings me. No emails from fellow tribers makes for a very unhappy trinsic. In other news Trinsic was apprehended by the police on Saturday and sent to a mental institution for causing a *tribe disturbance* in the Extreme Honesty tribe. Apparently, he started and off topic response to a post authored by tribe member 'Djero' in an attempt to clairfy his position and ended up causing widespread confusion in other tribe members. He then attemped to retract his statement, claiming ignorance and then proceeded to 'Butter Up' Tribe Member 'Djero' with an age old Jedi mind trick that no longer works in society. Dr. Schultz diagnoses from the mental hospital suggested that Trinsic just, 'Lost it' for a moment when attempted to make more sense, but just made things worse. He was sentenced to 6 months of sexual slavery to the initial poster of the original topic. Nobody as scene him since.