Trixie
Hu-mans (food) |
Love is a Gypsy's Child
imbroglio
EXT.STREET - DAY
Sat, November 7, 2009 - 7:45 PM
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5 comments
HE sits on a bench, his guitar in hand, foot on pedestal, amp nearby. On cell phone INT. APT. - SAME SHE sits in a comfortable chair next to an end table. On her cell phone. INTERCUT - TELEPHONE CONVERSATION HE Bellisima when you google me, what do you see? SHE (pause) HE I mean.. do you see me on the street playing guitar? Can you like, make a video and put that on YouTube? SHE (long pause) Baby, you've been on the internet before. Remember? We sat down for HOURS together working on your MySpace site. (starts to get mad) No! I can't see you from outer space! What are you... ?! HE Okay okay I didn't know. That's why I was askin'. LATER - SAME CONVERSATION HE So this officer was walking by and asked me "What are you smoking?" So I told him: a cigar. And he said "It smells funny." So I told him "That's because it's flavored--see?" And I showed him the wrapper. And he was all like "Oh... okay" and walks off. (they both laugh) LATER - SAME CONVERSATION HE ...no it was a good morning... but I really needed a shower and I was walking by this mansion, and I saw a spigot--and it was in this little... area--out of the way, you know--with a hose and everything! (giggles) So I want for it. Aaaaah. It felt so good I really needed it, you know? Then this guy comes out... SHE Uh-oh. HE Yeah I know this big black guy all dressed real nice and wearing you know all this gold and gold chains and shit? And I was all like "oh. sorry." But he was cool. SHE What? HE Yeah he was cool. He said "aw go ahead. I been there." He was a big rap star. (giggles)
Bitchin' Bitsabout me
grandiose, delusional, paranoid, obsessive-compulsive, rapid-cycler, conflicted art-lover
~stolen by gypsies~
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yo quero tu carrocería (the cast)June 12, 2009
The fact that she came back - if I'm not mistaken - is the sign that the End of the World is Nigh, so, on the one hand I'm all worshipful and elated to see her, and on the other hand, crap; I guess it's time to sharpen the speartips and start making arrows and axe-heads.
January 12, 2006
if i was a lesbian i would TOTALLY be all "back off bitches, trixie's MY sugarmama!!!"
oh hell, what am i saying? i'm like that already. i lurv you, trix! *mmmmmmmuah!* September 1, 2005
not just queen of the rimshot, she's the "lara croft of the anal cavity".
grab some ankle and prepare to be spelunked, you rotten posers... August 25, 2005
It's true, the grass is always greener on the other side of Trixie's ass...
June 11, 2005
"Fuck, I burned my snatch!"
Somehow hearing this sentence on television last night made me think of Trixie. Why? Who the hell knows, but I'm guessing it's because if it wasn't for her I wouldn't have been watching the show in the first place. Anyone who turns me on to a show with an exclamation such as this is certainly my kinda gal! July 17, 2004
So I had just hoofed it halfway across the Yoonited States in the longest and most terrifying car ride I have ever had. I was living in Los Angeles (still am!) and not only knew very few people, but was working long hours in order to avoid meeting anyone (I kid. I worked long hours in order to be able to afford not to meet anyone!).
In any case, I had been here on the left coast for a week and a half when I scooted up to SF to meet Trixie before going to a wedding. We dined at a fabulous place, complete with crazin' Asian waiter reccomending against anything we ordered. But we had a wonderful time. And Trixie amazed me with both her patience (because I talk too much, as you can see, although this is typing, but you gte the idea) and interesting stories about everything. She welcomed my friends to the table and made seriously positive impressions on them, as well as on me. Trix gives good advice, witty comments, strong support, and warm memories. Long may she run. June 15, 2004
Shut the door!
May 18, 2004
When I grow up, I wanna be just like Trixie.
May 5, 2004
Trixie *is* virtual chocolate. She melts in your mouth, not in your hand!
What a fun, funny, lovely, charming and smutty chick our Trixie is! a treasure trove of delights, the kind you never tire of, the kind that cheers you up when you're blue. or gray. or yellow. AND she's the most under-hyped tribe celebrity going. so sh! don't tell, let's keep her to ourselves! March 5, 2004
I have recently recieve permission and permits to have Trixie diced, dehydrated, and sold as jerky. The product will be called Bitchin' Bits.
January 30, 2004
there was an old avatar from beijing,
inneuendo and wisecracks he'd sing, once sucking a consequence, he spit out the schwanz-equence, and had to have his teeth rebuilt wit da bling. to think i ever hesitated to post "well, i don't know enough about your vagina, either." don't think for a minute that she's not posting circles around you. -speed jones. January 28, 2004
Knowing puff..:: puff..:: is like having one-way ticket into a warm coma.
January 17, 2004
Mi amor, yo quero tu carrocería. Tu hablas espanol muy bonita. Hable a mi.
December 5, 2003
you look too sexy when you're smoking :)
November 7, 2003
Miss Trixie and I were in a chain gang together in Alabama. Her singing of chain gang songs was so magnificent that they made her head of our gang. She led the gang until she unfortunately discovered punk rock. I remember when she made us break the rocks to the Bad Brains' "Pay to Cum." This caused the pace of our rock breaking to increase to crazy speeds. Finally, convicted serial killer T. Ennis Hamspring (who was in our gang) got furious during her rendition of the Dead Kennedys song "Life Sentence," which he did not find amusing. He whacked her in the head with his hammer and strangled her with his chain.
Imagine my surprise when I found out she lived and contacted me on the interweb. Jesus is good.
Innuendo and Wisecracks
Re: I'm special, goddamit
(in Rehearsals for Extinct Anomalies)
dude, Loki, you just used "fuck" and "Mecca" right next to each other.
Not cool dude. discussion post on Sun, November 8, 2009 - 12:04 PM
Re: I'm special, goddamit
(in Rehearsals for Extinct Anomalies)
4 or 5 kipper joints?
discussion post on Sun, November 8, 2009 - 12:03 PM
Re: How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
(in Ask Aunt Bea!)
yeah.
what? discussion post on Sun, November 8, 2009 - 12:02 PM
Re: I'm special, goddamit
(in Rehearsals for Extinct Anomalies)
>>good fences make good neighbors<<
oh oh *sad trombone* funny, but just too perfect discussion post on Sun, November 8, 2009 - 11:59 AM
Re: I'm special, goddamit
(in Rehearsals for Extinct Anomalies)
This thread took a turn for the better. I feel all warm and fuzzy now.
discussion post on Sun, November 8, 2009 - 10:49 AM
Re: where
(in Bad Advice ON Any Subject)
Party at PatFireCat's (prepare to be singed)!
discussion post on Sun, November 8, 2009 - 10:43 AM
Re: where
(in Bad Advice ON Any Subject)
DEAD DEAD DEAD
As a good friend and long-time triber said to me recently: "I feel like a big weirdo just for hanging out here." It's like haunting an abandoned dream, inhabited only by a few erratic tortured souls. discussion post on Sat, November 7, 2009 - 10:28 PM
Re: I'm special, goddamit
(in Rehearsals for Extinct Anomalies)
Every time I see "I want justice," I laugh.
discussion post on Sat, November 7, 2009 - 8:07 PM
Re: I'm special, goddamit
(in Rehearsals for Extinct Anomalies)
Is that lavender toilet water I smell?
discussion post on Sat, November 7, 2009 - 7:39 PM
Re: It's like an ice cream
(in Short Attention Span Theater™)
She WANTED that bean-!
discussion post on Sat, November 7, 2009 - 6:28 PM
Re: The Advertisement says
(in Ask Aunt Bea!)
when I shake my money maker it rattles around in my skull
discussion post on Sat, November 7, 2009 - 10:51 AM
Re: bear bear
(in Bad Advice ON Any Subject)
He likes the echo effect in there and wants you to let him in so he can sing.
discussion post on Sat, November 7, 2009 - 10:47 AM
Re: I'm special, goddamit
(in Rehearsals for Extinct Anomalies)
born scrappers
discussion post on Sat, November 7, 2009 - 10:44 AM
Re: I'm special, goddamit
(in Rehearsals for Extinct Anomalies)
good point.
let's shake this tea party up. break out the numchucks and choppers, and let's get... ready to rumble-! bitch discussion post on Fri, November 6, 2009 - 10:03 PM
Re: son of Fathollah and Emineh
(in Ask Aunt Bea!)
Hey. Listen. If we're going to do explicit gay sex on this tribe, let's make it hot gay sex, not gay sex between a blue... *shudder* and... *shudder*
discussion post on Fri, November 6, 2009 - 10:01 PM
Re: How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
(in Ask Aunt Bea!)
Where do you find a good skeleton crew?
On The Flying Dutchman, of course-! discussion post on Fri, November 6, 2009 - 9:56 PM
Re: How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
(in Ask Aunt Bea!)
*snicker*
Well, the Blue Jane of my dreams has back hair I can pet. Blue fun fur. discussion post on Fri, November 6, 2009 - 9:10 PM
Re: How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
(in Ask Aunt Bea!)
Blue Jane back hair.
discussion post on Fri, November 6, 2009 - 8:37 PM
Re: I'm special, goddamit
(in Rehearsals for Extinct Anomalies)
is everybody gettin' ready to rumble? is that what's going on here?!
discussion post on Fri, November 6, 2009 - 8:34 PM
Re: How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
(in Ask Aunt Bea!)
Did Jane say she used to have hair on her back?
discussion post on Fri, November 6, 2009 - 8:23 PM
Re: How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
(in Ask Aunt Bea!)
Nothing has been cryptic here since 2003.
discussion post on Fri, November 6, 2009 - 8:15 PM
Re: I'm special, goddamit
(in Rehearsals for Extinct Anomalies)
>>it runs on vapor<<
me too! discussion post on Fri, November 6, 2009 - 8:12 PM
Re: How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
(in Ask Aunt Bea!)
All my jokes are old. Just goes to show who I've slept with.
Here is an old SF joke: Businessman was at a streetcorner starting to cross the street. A beatnik caught his attention "Dog is coming," he said. The businessman looked at him an... read more discussion post on Fri, November 6, 2009 - 8:08 PM
Re: How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
(in Ask Aunt Bea!)
lol
okay Descartes is in coffee shop, drinking coffee and writing. His waitress comes up. She says "Would you like more coffee?" and he says "mmmm.... I think not," and -poof-! he disappears. discussion post on Fri, November 6, 2009 - 6:38 PM
Re: How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
(in Ask Aunt Bea!)
>>That's my favorite joke! <<
haha--! I've never heard that before. :) I have two stock nerd jokes for when I am forced to tell a joke. That one, and one about Descartes... discussion post on Fri, November 6, 2009 - 6:32 PM
Re: how is a vetriloquist better than a mime?
(in Ask Aunt Bea!)
Hi Walter
*looks around, shrugs* discussion post on Fri, November 6, 2009 - 6:24 PM
How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
(in Ask Aunt Bea!)
fish discussion post on Fri, November 6, 2009 - 6:24 PM
Re: If Sarah Palin were
(in Ask Aunt Bea!)
There is c'o'c'ain, and there is c'o'c'ain't
discussion post on Thu, November 5, 2009 - 9:25 PM
Re: executive Tweet
(in Ask Aunt Bea!)
well when you put it that way...
*shakes ash off cigar* discussion post on Thu, November 5, 2009 - 9:24 PM
Re: getting on my nerves
(in Bad Advice ON Any Subject)
Do the hand jive.
discussion post on Thu, November 5, 2009 - 9:23 PM
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