(If you haven’t spoken with me in a while, I’ve been filling my days seeking this….)

2007 it is. I read this book, Spiritual Enlightenment, The Damnedest Thing, by Jed KcKenna. www.wisefoolpress.com, and it totally led me into some fresh perspective that fills my days now. I thought I had taken the red pill years ago, I thought most of us had in fact. This thought has turned out to be just another story, fiction. We aren't trying to wake up, we are pretending we are trying to wake up; we are seekers, not finders. How do I figure? I DON'T KNOW ANYONE WHO IS ENLIGHTENED, but I know a thousand people who want to be, so we claim.

In the observation of everyone I know, myself included, (Ages young to 71) there seems to be this quest for blissful awakening. Some have been on it for 5, 10, 20, 30, 40 years. So where are the results? The results have been in for some time actually. It’s exactly what you see in front of you, and in your own head, we are still seeking. That makes us seekers, and not very good ones if finding is the goal, but amazing at seeking if seeking is the goal, which it clearly is. Proof is in the pudding.
Now, I argued with myself about this for a while, and if you have ever taken me on in debate…….you know I’m quick and full of ….creative lingual solutions. My inner dialogue is no different.
Here is the logic:

Question: Do you want to be enlightened?
Answer: Yes.
Question: What is Enlightenment?
Answer: I’m not sure, or Unity, Full Awareness, Eternal Bliss, etc.
Question: Do you have first experience of this?
Answer: Free of drugs? Not quite, well maybe this one time…
Question: How do you expect to find something that you don’t even know what it is?
Answer: I don’t know, but I’m going to keep looking.
Question: Looking for what?
Answer: Enlightenment.
Question: How will you find it?
Answer: By seeking it.
Question: Tell me again, how are you going to find something if you don’t know what it is?
Answer: I’m not sure actually.
Question: But you’re sure you’ll find it?
Answer: I was until a few questions ago. It seems maybe the seeking might be the actual destination for me, and many people I know.
Question: How many people do you know of who have found Enlightenment in this way?
Answer: None I guess. None for sure actually.
Question: Do you think you will the exception, or the first?
Answer: Ha ha, since you put it like that, no. Doesn’t seem very logical.
Question: So now What?
Answer: I don’t know.

And that’s where I feel I am. Not knowing what I’m looking for, now questioning my method for finding it.

Andrew