Lilac Shrieks and Scarlet Bellows
What a great start to the day...
Tue, October 10, 2006 - 11:45 AMThis guy who was clearly out of his gourd and who kept stammering, then spitting onto the sidewalk, stood next to me to tell me about his big shopping plans for the day (JC Penney to get a suit, then around the corner to Payless for his shoes), okay....
Then he stammers out, "Yeah, YEAH, and I also smoke crack, and like to get a woman, smoke crack, then make love to her. "
"Super!" I think. Then...
"You got an ID?" he asks me, "because if you have an ID you can come to my place."
I tell him that I do not have an ID.
"You got a place, then?"
Nope, no place. Can't help you.
Then he looks at me long and hard and says,
"25 dollars?"
I look at him and say, "Now I KNOW that you didn't really just say that."
"30 Dollars? 35?"
And, hard to believe as it may be, I passed up this golden opportunity and walked away.
I just love San Francisco, oh yes I do!
Tue, October 10, 2006 - 11:45 AM -
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6 Comments
6 Comments |
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Tue, October 10, 2006 - 12:22 PM
How about $9.99 for the suit, shoes, crack and the.. whatever he was thinking about!!
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Tue, October 10, 2006 - 1:22 PM
WTF? He buys shoes at Payless?
(jk) What a knob. Sometimes I walk away from these people once I find out that they are...err...altered and unstable. Other times they piss me off and I stew quietly. Then there are times where Evil Pi rears his ugly head: Cracked Out Psycho Goon: "Yeah, YEAH, and I also smoke crack, and like to get a woman, smoke crack, then make love to her. " Evil Pi: "I used to be like that....and then I discovered The Lord. Would you like to pray with me?" (it always helps to carry some handy Jack Chick tracts in your bag) COPG: "Yeah, YEAH, and I also smoke crack, and like to get a woman, smoke crack, then make love to her. " EP: "Wow...the doctor told me that the treatments should have me in full remission and I won't test positive in about six months, but...yeah, I'll take a chance if you will" (clearly I'd have to be female in this scenario) COPG: "You got an ID?" he asks me, "because if you have an ID you can come to my place." EP: "Sure, but first I need to see YOUR ID" Take his ID and then grab your cell phone, "Hi Doris. This is Detective Evil Pi. Officer requests back up at...." |
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Tue, October 10, 2006 - 1:35 PM
Aeion Response
I'd would looked at him and said"You Must be ON crack. Now take your ass on to payless!"
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Tue, October 10, 2006 - 3:03 PM
I try to show love. .
. . but if they keep talking at you. . ..or me. . .
I yell. . .mean I know. . .I am a horrible person sometimes. . .but you must must get away from me NOW. . .and yelling has always worked. . a short and not so sweet, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME and DONT SAY ANOTHER MOTHERFUCKIN WORD TO ME" usually works great. If they are chattable. . .sometimes. . .but usually no talky talky cause I don't gots no money money. . . |
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Tue, October 10, 2006 - 4:09 PM
HAHAHAHA! I loved Pi's "Pray with me" response!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! |
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Tue, October 10, 2006 - 4:11 PM
Yes, that and the fact that this man does indeed manage somehow to make it to Payless!
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