My Blog

Review: Northpole 30-foot Party Tent

verbamour — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 19:45:20 GMT

Tom got a nice deal at WalMart - $88, and no shipping charge for store pick-up: http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=10993628 Good product for fairly mild conditions. It's pleasant looking, quick to put up and strike, covers a decent amount of ground, and provides shade and mosquito protection. Would be legal at the park and beach where regulations may prohibit enclosed tents, since it has big panes covered only with mosquito netting. While the opaque fabric is said to be water-proof, a good portion on the footprint won't get rain protection because of the large mosquito-netting openings in the sloped wall. Erection proceeded smoothly with two people. After the tent is laid out on the ground, one person needs to position and prop up the center pole while the other person goes around the tent perimeter staking the corners. Some additional braces are then added inside. The very mild breeze in the park was definitely felt by the person holding up the pole before the corner stakes went in. Putting this thing up in stronger wind would not be fun or maybe not be possible. The center pole is composed of several interlocking pieces and doesn't seem strong enough to withstand much wind stress. Since the tent starts out lying on the ground, and has no floor, it will get dirty inside if pitched on dirty ground without exceptional precautions. Even building it in a well-maintained park resulted in a number of leaves and grass clippings sticking to the fabric and being retained in the bag. The documentation claims a thirty-foot corner-to-corner hexagonal footprint, but our build was only twenty-eight feet across. Perhaps another two feet could have been achieved, but not easily. Flaps around the perimeter were supposed to prevent surface winds from going in, but again, our installation did not have enough tension to achieve this, and there are no grommets in the flaps to facilitate attachment to the ground. Break-down was quick and easy. Leisurely break-down to tent in bag took two people 20 minutes, and could have taken considerably less. Good feature: the bag this tent came in had an extra zipper for enlarging the bag a bit. Since a tent will grow once it's deployed, this eases stowing it back away. Is it at all useful for the playa? Alla doesn't think so, but Tom thinks it just might work. It certainly is not a panacea, as the screen doors would let in dust, and enough sun to prevent prevent morning sleeping. Any significant attempt to cover them would probably defeat the ventilation and increase the wind profile beyond the capabilities of the center pole to support. The footprint is large, and much of the space has low clearance, so it would not be particularly useful. This would not make you popular with your campmates if space was tight. Setup would have to be managed to be done quickly during a break in the winds, and the fabric would pick up enough dust to make it unpleasant for subsequent use. Even so, it would make a distinctive, and somewhat useful structure for mid day shade.

The wedding video you may not believe

verbamour — Mon, 11 May 2009 17:00:34 GMT

Friends, We have a video of our wedding up for your edification. If you were there, you'll want to watch again because you may not believe your eyes, and if you weren't there, well, you better just see for yourself: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aCyQCR9KVYQ

Photos from bender and Alla's wedding

verbamour — Tue, 05 May 2009 22:28:01 GMT

Here are a couple of photo collections from the wedding. We are sorry if you couldn't make it, but hopefully this gives you an idea of the great fun we had: Dr Evil's: http://tinyurl.com/d6aukw WhiteBear's: http://s205.photobucket.com/albums/bb155/WhiteBear8P/Bridezilla/

The burner community has a sexual problem!

verbamour — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 02:54:03 GMT

[I originally posted this on the BED in LA tribe ( http://tribes.tribe.net/bedinla ), but I believe this message needs to be spread more widely. Please read this and think about how this applies to what's going on around you.] In 2004, I went to Burning Man for the first time. I was amazed by the love and support that was in evidence at this alien gathering. After I got back to the real world, I started going to regional events and socializing with the local burners. These people have become my friends, and in many cases, are closer than family. I was so impressed by the entire experience that I eventually got a Burning Man tattoo. For years, I "drank the Kool-Aid". I have thought and written about radical self-reliance and radical self-expression. I have de-mooped, I have volunteered at theme camps and decompressions, I have done everything in my power to be the best burner that I could because I felt that we had a community within the wide wild world, I saw this as a spiritual movement where people of like minds come together and make the world a better place, both within our community and without. I still hold these idealistic views. I still see so much good in so many burners that I know I am on to something. I know this movement has the capability to make the world a better place, and has done so in so many ways. Burners Without Borders provides help to many people in distress, and burners as a whole seem to be helpful, positive people who believe strongly in leaving the world better than they found it. However, there is also a less altruistic aspect to the burner community. We tend to be self-indulgent hedonists. I also believe in hedonism. I think that if one is responsible, one is entitled to seek the pleasures of life. In fact, I believe that seeking pleasure, when not at the expense of others, is a key part of our advancement. Finding and spreading joy exalts and elevates us all. Pushing back the boundaries of conventionality allows us to learn what is possible in this world, and to expand our horizons in ways that help us to understand our world and our relationships with other people, both what they are and what they could be. But the world doesn't appear to other people exactly as it appears to me. Others come from different backgrounds, have had different experiences, and have different moral and ethical characteristics. What I say and what I do can send a message to others that is completely different than what I think. When people encounter our community, they often see the drugs, the sex, the intimacy, and the good will, and they very well might think that is the extent of it. For many people, that may even be the full extent of it. I don't own Burning Man. As a movement, I don't even think Larry Harvey owns Burning Man. It consists of what we all make it, those who share my view and those who don't. If a large number of people see the burner community simply as a place to do drugs and have sex, then I suppose that is as true a description of it as the hippie-fantasy I hold in my head. If we are going to carry a banner, we have the responsibility to know what it represents. If we are going to enjoy the benefits of a community, we must be full members. Otherwise we are building a vast, powerful machine, but have no idea of its full function and effects. If we are not going to challenge the precepts of radical self-reliance and radical self-expression, we must acknowledge that we have publicly accepted them. Otherwise, we should find something else to call ourselves. As a whole, we have dropped the ball on this. As a whole, we continue to enjoy the benefits of our association, and yet, when something threatens our fun, we look at our feet and mumble about how something should be done. I write this because of a single, isolated incident, not because that's all I care about, but because that's the one I know about. I refer to New Year's Eve. A woman was enjoying herself, and a man took advantage of her altered state of mind. I will not belabor the details, as they are available elsewhere, suffice to say, he had unprotected sex with her without seeking her consent. She was not unconscious, but she did not say yes, and she had said no before. I will say it right here, right now: That is wrong! That is the kind of exploitative behavior that debases us all. I will never stand for such, and I wish I had the clarity and strength to say it before. The earliest comments I saw about this was to avoid making it a witch hunt. This is not a witch hunt! A witch hunt is where baseless claims are made and extreme measures are taken with no regard to justice. All I saw were factual accounts, and even an admission of guilt (which has since been removed). And what has been the result of this? A bunch of "atta-boys" for an apology that was not even contrite, a couple of poorly-attended meetings, and a whole mess of people that seem to just wish this would go away. What the hell is the matter with us? This poor girl is hurting every day because she discovered her world isn't as safe as she thought, and that she's a member of a community that won't even stand up for what's right and what's wrong, despite the loftiest of stated goals. She has to cope with having been violated, while those around her seem more concerned with keeping the party-train going, than acknowledging a dangerous and wrong situation, and a continuing risk to us all, even those of us who think our lifestyle choices will protect us. She has to see one man's popularity outweighing the despicable nature of his actions. She has to wonder if her lifestyle choices have caused her to be objectified. She has to wonder if people think she got what she deserved. Our inaction speaks louder than anything I have heard said or seen written. Maybe I just don't know what's really going on. Maybe people have had long talks with this guy. Maybe people have heard him go over this and come to a true, organic understand that what he did was wrong, and why, and what it is about him that led him to do it in the first place. I hope so, but what I saw appeared perfunctory and a simple attempt to patch things up and get on with business as usual. How do we rate the severity of what happened? Is it as bad as hitting a parked car and not leaving a note? Is it as bad as driving drunk? And getting in an accident that hurts somebody? What remedies have been sought? Has he had counselling? Has he attended some Sex Addicts Anonymous ( http://www.sexaa.org/ ) meetings? He didn't even think he had done anything wrong until days after the event when he was confronted! How the hell is he supposed to behave if he doesn't readily understand misbehavior? And, my God, unprotected sex in a questionable (not just non-consensual, but any first-time) situation? What kind of reckless shit is that? That alone should be raising flags and causing discussion all over the place. He's not protecting himself and he's sure not protecting anyone else. I'm a nice guy, and I generally give people the benefit of the doubt, but does anyone see any defense for this? Does anyone care about absolute right and wrong? I really do believe in radical self-expression, but radical self-reliance does not mean having to endure the attacks of predators without help! Have your fun, but if you contribute to a situation that is hazardous to those around you... to any one of those around you, you are doing way worse than mooping the playa. Look, I know this forum probably has the people who have stepped up the most in this matter, but it's also where the closest thing to a discussion on this is occurring. And I think the BED effort is coming along, but this goes beyond that. BED is voluntary and optional and I think it's right that we're not pursuing the notion of BED rangers. I'm writing about the whole community and what it means to be a part of it. I am saying that all of you need to nag your friends, nag this guy, the way I am nagging you. Are you mad? You should be. Are you more mad at me for going off like this than you are at this guy, at other guys like him, at the whole notion that this can happen? That's OK. Start with being mad at me and then think about this for awhile and realize what's really riling you. Consider why you are in this community and make your friends consider the same thing. Consider your actions and how you value the individuals around you, from the slickest, most popular guys and girls to the socially awkward ones. Do they know what they're getting into? Are the situations fair, or are people at risk of being exploited? It's not that you have to play cop. It's that you have to stand up for what you believe. You have to spread your beliefs far and wide so everybody knows what they are, and if they disagree, they may not want to have anything to do with you, but when you really think about it, you wouldn't want anything to do with them either, because you're not agreeing on the basic issue of right-and-wrong. It we are going to be a community, we have to act like one. We have to express some kind of group ethic, and if we have to fight amongst ourselves to clarify it, so be it. To do anything else would be irresponsible and a travesty of what we represent. I cannot let this stand, and if I must stand alone, I will.

For immediate release

verbamour — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 06:10:16 GMT

Bender and Alla bring weddings into the 21st century. IRVINE (AP) In today's troubled times, couples are finding it harder and harder to have a normal, traditional wedding. Customs requiring specific family members to contribute to the celebration are considered quaint and outdated, especially for a second or third marriage. Couples are forced to employ novel, creative methods to finance even modest weddings. Lodging rebates, auctioning options on wedding gifts, even selling plasma have become commonplace for those who insist upon ceremonies beyond their normal means. Bender (not his real name) and Alla are one such couple. Unexpected expenses, such as bear-trapping and alcohol treatment, threatened to deplete their budget months before their wedding. Taking a cue from their favorite social-networking site, tribe.net, they come upon a brilliant idea: Start charging from something that used to be free. "We established our user base with the free-service model, but then transitioned to the pay-premium model. We expect some attrition, but our dedicated user base should follow us into this new territory." Bender and Alla are offering a three-tiered membership structure. Basic members ($100) will be allowed entry to the event, and to observe the wedding. Premium members ($250) will be granted in-and-out privileges, and up to three Porta-Pottie visits per day. Gold members ($500) add unlimited visits, toilet paper, priority seating at the ceremony, and acknowledgment (eye-contact only) by the bride. "With a viral marketing campaign, we have been able to reach people we never would have thought of inviting to our wedding. Most people don't know more than two ex-convicts, but we'll have enough for a soccer game. They've already given us two sets of hubcaps as wedding gifts, but they say they'll have a lot more for us at the wedding." As the economic downturn drags on, we expect more couples to come up with new ways to defer and defray the huge costs associated with getting together. Next week, we'll interview a couple who has sold advertising rights to a number elements of their wedding and subsequent union, including naming of the first son and two daughters.

Episode IV - A New Hope

verbamour — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 20:17:25 GMT

As many of you may know, I have been seeing an absolutely fantastic woman for the last few weeks. The more I see her, the more I like her. I have never been happier. For the last six months, maybe a year, I've been in a funk, and I've really been letting myself go. I've tried to hide it, but I've been able to feel it. And even for the last few years, I've been feeling my age, and then some. Lately, I have been so happy and invigorated that my previous attitude and behavior seem alien and inexplicable. I have been dropping bad habits like, well, like a bad habit. Part of this, a very small part, is set dressing. I certainly want to look better for my lady love, but the majority of it is that I now care. I care about myself. I care about how I feel in the morning and throughout the day. I care about what I can get done. I care about the future. I got into a weird place. I'm sure at least part of it is depression, and I am looking into that. I am taking this opportunity, this gift, to tend to myself and lock in these gains. I know I won't feel this good every day for the rest of my life, but I will not let myself feel like I felt before, or rather like I didn't feel. In short, if you've been concerned about me lately, I want to let you know that I understand. I see it, and I see how bad it was. In fact, it was probably worse than you thought. I'm pretty good at keeping up appearances. I won't say you don't have to worry about me at all, ever again, but my future is looking much brighter. And please don't think that I'm putting the burden of my health on the shoulders of this poor little girl. I dearly hope that she will be in my life forever, but the benefit has already been taken. I have been given the objectivity to see myself clearly, and the strength to be honest with myself about who I want to be, and even how much I liked (or disliked) the person I had become. This is a long, perhaps unending, road, and a good start doesn't guarantee a good end. And yet, it's a requirement. I have been lucky enough to have an upturn to let my "hitting bottom" be less low than it might have been. I have been lucky enough to have my reset button hit so I could tell the difference between doing well and not. I have seen the possibilities in life. I realize that if I take care of myself, I can have anything I want, but if I don't, my universe will shrink until it is uninhabitable. I am so looking forward to today...

Aspirations and desparations

verbamour — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 17:52:24 GMT

I probably should have written this one last year when it was more topical, but I can't control when these things come off the back burner... Hope and fear Far and near Yet the path Is never clear Like the yang And like the yin Half a clap Shall not begin

A question

verbamour — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 22:34:16 GMT

Ain't love grand?

What's _your_ cashew?

verbamour — Sun, 30 Mar 2008 19:05:26 GMT

Gesundheit. Sorry, that joke is an oldie, but a goodie, no matter what anyone says. Life is not a bowl of cherries, and it's not a box of chocolates. It's a dish of mixed nuts. If you bother to take a look, and not just shove your hand in and pour it down your gullet, you'll see that each nut has its own unique identity, both in type and quality within type. A squished-looking almond can be twice as crunchy as its corpulent cousin. A dead-white peanut can taste like something that belongs in a landfill. But by and large, the kind of nut tells you what you need to know. Peanuts are the great unwashed masses, the chorus to which the other nuts play, the groundlings, if you will. More pea than nut, not too proud, and everyone knows if you're hanging with the P's. In the shell, peanuts shine, however. You can often tell from the shell if it will taste swell, and a triple comes with a wish (don't tell anyone, or it won't come true). Almonds are a good standby. Consistently good and good for you. Almonds are great. I like almonds. Pistachios, Brazil nuts, filberts, walnuts, and pecans are good nuts, each with a back story. Munching on pistachios, one can imagine being Persian royalty, being fed and cooled (and heated) by undulating dancing girls with exotic ostrich fans, wondering why the hell the Christians are being such crusading dicks. The other nuts also evoke images of their homelands, be it the lush rain forests of the Amazon or the Virginia backwoods. These are the character actors. The right nut in the right role can take home the Nutty Oscar, but only in the supporting role category. Macadamia nuts are the platinum blondes of the show. Expensive, temperamental, hard to get to, harder to keep. I've seen many a man impoverished and devastated by these oily little nuggets of seeming-heaven. Cashews. Those are the nuts to watch. The cashew is the perky little assistant with the big glasses and the can-do attitude. Cashew will sit by (but not idly) while Macadamia weaves plots and exposes the hero to dangers, nutty and otherwise. And just when the hero is about to be crushed in a nut press for his indiscreet salt-lust, Cashew throws a knife switch, bathing the entire factory in sodium light, revealing the legions of uniformed officers, ready to take Macadamia away in chains, or at least a well-sealed can... ...and yet, she always gets away... Ok, I was going to go somewhere else with this, but the opportunity to cast a 40's PI story in a fagalean fashion was too much to resist... Allow me to close with this well-wish: Nuts to you.

Good boy!

verbamour — Sun, 23 Mar 2008 22:59:19 GMT

Why do we all love this trick so much? Get dog. Put biscuit on dog's nose. Wait arbitrary period of time. Command dog to eat. With a good dog, he actually has something to eat after that arbitrary period of time. More typically, the dog digs the biscuits out of your bag before you've even thought about tricks. We like this because not only is the dog behaving contrary to his nature, but it's in a way that is to his ultimate benefit. Fido has exceeded his programming by accepting new programming... from you... You become the God to Dog. Palindromic ramifications aside, this is pretty cool. And there are a lot of dogs out there. Each little four-legged domestic canine contains one DEU (Dog Equivalence Unit), but they're not the only source. All kinds of animals contain some DEU. For example, a cat contains about .25 DEUs. Some of this is due to the cat's smaller size, and some is due to the fact that cats really don't give a damn about us or our stuff, unless it's to absentmindedly destroy it. Things really get interesting when you think of all the DEUs contained in humanity. They say guys are dogs, but I think they contain up to 5 DEUs per. Guys will juggle multiple treat scenarios, rarely waiting for the cue to munch that biscuit. This is where I think the disciplined man can benefit. If you know the dog wants the biscuit, but the dog knows he's supposed to wait, and he does, well, that's just sooo cute... Of course, leave most of your biscuits in the cupboard. Even a good dog couldn't help but to grab the box and run off with it. He's only a dog, after all...

An angle grinder is _not_ just a Dremel tool for guys with big arms

verbamour — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 21:15:46 GMT

I managed to survive Fuente Eterno without any major injuries. Those who went last year may remember me as the most cheerful head-wound patient ever. This year, I managed to make it all the way back home without my annual maiming... ...but the blood-lusting gods were not satisfied. I had my angle grinder out, working on a piece of 16ga stainless, the grinder in my right hand, and the work in my viselike left hand. Everything was going well until the last cut. As it transitioned from one piece to two, the work collapsed a little and pinched the cutting wheel. The work was thrown down, and the grinder bucked downward and to the left... ...right into the aforementioned viselike left hand (which I lovingly refer to as "Mr. Iron"). At this point, the wheel had a delightful mix of rotational and thermal energy, as well as a soupcon of steel fragments and fiberglass, which it was kind enough to deposit into the meaty tissue at the base of my thumb. After a brief attack of acute Tourette's (I said a few curses _I_ didn't even know I knew), I pulled off my work glove and ran to the bathroom. I managed to avoid making my place look like a crime scene. When it became clear I couldn't stem the crimson tide alone, I wrapped my hand in a towel, brushed my teeth, and headed off to an urgent care center. To make a long story short (especially since my hand is beginning to throb), I spent an hour waiting, and another being tended. I now have a couple fewer grams of flesh and four lovely stitches. It appears that I didn't damage any nerves, tendons, or blood vessels large enough to be named. And, I can still count to ten without having to put my hands in my pockets ;-> It was not a pleasant experience, but I learned something today: It is much faster to go down to the garage and get the portable workbench than it is to avoid its use, hurt oneself, and rely upon the medical industry. Next time I'll be smarter. They were nice to me at the emergency room, but I suspect they don't want to see me too often.

Who is your favorite President?

verbamour — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 20:13:45 GMT

Happy President's Day, everybody! If you're sitting in front of your computer, you need something to do. Who's your favorite President, and why? My favorite is Teddy Roosevelt for all the land he set aside for the National Park System.

If

verbamour — Sat, 16 Feb 2008 19:32:10 GMT

If you would do anything for love... would you wait for it?

Aloha!

verbamour — Sat, 09 Feb 2008 21:43:55 GMT

The day after the Pro Bowl, the football players are going to leave Honolulu, but my brother, my cousin, and I will be arriving. We are going to spend a week doing... actually, I'm not sure what we'll be doing. My brother wants to see the Missouri, but beyond that, I'm just coming along, kind of at the last minute, and I have no idea what to expect, other than great weather. It should be between 70 and 80 every second I'm there. So, I'm going to take pictures and drink mai tais. Any other advice for a first-timer?

Why, so: now have I done a good day's work (Richard III, 2.1)

verbamour — Sat, 09 Feb 2008 20:57:59 GMT

For the last couple of months, I've been going about half way up Palomar to Pacha Mama's Grove (http://www.pachamamasgrove.org/index.html). Some wonderful people are developing a retreat site up there, and they suffered fire damage on the property. As part of my ongoing "Bjurts for the bjurned" (I just made that name up) promotion, I've been donating bjurt (http://bjurt.com) kits, as well as materials and labor to get these temporary structures built. After some discussion, it appeared that a more durable structure would be better. This area gets some snow, albeit rarely, so a soft-roofed structure would be very vulnerable to overload, hence the wooden bjurt, or Permabjurt. The thing about wooden structures is that if they are not well-anchored, ground motion, over the course of years, will warp and then destroy them. A long-lived wooden structure needs a good foundation. In this case, we built a deck. This is a 18'x20' deck with sixteen concrete footings. The decking is not yet screwed down, and it could use some shear support (as opposed to sheer support, which is what you want in pantyhose), but you can see what it is and where it is. It's a little too hazy to tell in this photo, but that's the Pacific Ocean on the horizon. For three days this week, Doug, Joe (I exchanged their names to protect the innocent), and I measured, measured, leveled, measured, cut, measured, screwed, measured, drilled, measured, and measured this deck. That was four hours on the road (that last and first twenty minutes was pretty bumpy) and a half-tank of gas each time, but it was worth it. I know now how to build a deck, in fact, I have now built a deck. I got to spend time in a beautiful setting with good people doing charitable acts. I am quite pleased with this progress to date. Without a good deck on site, anything we built would be short-lived. Now it appears that we're going to continue on and put of this first-of-its-kind Permabjurt! The boards laid atop outline the octagonal walls of the structure. When finished, it should resemble an octagonal gazebo, except that it will be able to be closed up. Once I can prove this concept, I can offer my bjurt kits to those who would build something truly meant to last. I know this departs from the original purpose of the bjurt, to be a portable structure, but it appears that the same connectors that allow my linkage-based bjurt to fold and unfold, also allow me to orient structural members and fix them permanently. Sorry, I know I'm geeking out on this. I'm just so freakin' happy! When the work starts back up for the next phase, I am going to enjoy those drives, and the work days. I love being up there, and I'm gonna get to see something that nobody ever saw before, something that didn't even exist before. What fun!

Very short poem of the day...

verbamour — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 19:44:00 GMT

Do I know My Heart's desire What ignites My Inner Fire Is it safe Is it wise A warm'ed hearth Or all's demise

It's my BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

verbamour — Thu, 24 Jan 2008 18:30:38 GMT

Woo-hoo!

Reunited

verbamour — Mon, 07 Jan 2008 21:43:25 GMT

Today I'm going to blog about something trivial. Yesterday, some petaQ without honor (sorry, I slip into Klingonese when I get pissed-off) took some items from my cart at Target when I wasn't looking. It was a couple of clearance storage containers, which I thought would help me organize my life. Thus, the taking of my items was an attempt by the Forces of Mediocrity to cram me back into the morass that is my material holdings. Today, I found the same items at another Target, same price. So, I am feeling charitable. I will hunt neither the thief who took my original containers, nor the vandal who used my truck as a trash can. Two evil people can breathe a little more easily this day. The balance is restored. I've got my stuff. All is well in the world (with the exception of that political thing going on this year).

I want a genus and a Venus...

verbamour — Sun, 06 Jan 2008 23:05:30 GMT

...but one without a penis. I paraphrased that (yet quoted the intentional misspelling to make the rhyme work) from a song I heard this morning. I love when some random song I never would have sought amuses me, or touches me in some other way. I thought this summed up my current status (and that of at least half of the smart nerds out there (and that's not redundant, there are dumb nerds out there too, and boy do they irk me mightily)). If you do fancy me, however, you're going to have to throw yourself at me. Self-diagnostics show my laydar has been malfunctioning lately, and at any rate, smart bachelors lie low until after Valentine's Day. Not only does it save on the chocolate budget, but it's also easier on the ladies. Since I'm already blogging thoughts that shouldn't exist outside of my head, here are a few more: To whomever took the clearance-priced food storage boxes from my cart at the Culver Target: I don't know if you thought my cart was stock-return or not. If so, you should have known better. If not, you're just another self-centered Orange County stereotype. Either way, F-U! I'll put your desires ahead of mine if you ask nicely, but keep yer damn paws out of my supper dish! To whomever purchased a $3.59 item ($3.87 with tax) at 1:14 PM, using receipt ID# 2-8006-0336-0082-4647-9, and paying with a twenty-dollar bill, I have a little news for you: The bed of my pickup truck is not a public trash receptacle, especially when there is no trash in it to start with. In fact, surprisingly little of the world exists solely for your convenience. You are so lucky that you did not pay with credit card, or I would have made it my life's work to track you down and bore the hell out of you with my views on social responsibility. As it is, you're probably the same selfish sonuvabitch who took my storage thingies. I hope you get a rash! To everybody else, I love you all. Peace out!

Songs I want to see sung by someone in a Santa suit

verbamour — Mon, 24 Dec 2007 22:12:31 GMT

Every Breath You Take - Sting You Can Leave Your Hat On - Randy Newman? Etta James? Joe Cocker? Google, help me! What about you?

It's a Wonderful Life

verbamour — Mon, 24 Dec 2007 21:21:32 GMT

Tonight, Christmas Eve, NBC is once again showing "It's a Wonderful Life". I've already watched it once this season, but I'm tempted to watch it again. I know that it's sickly-sweet sentimental and manipulative as Hell. I can tell, if nothing else than by the music, exactly when I'm supposed to cry and why. But you know what? It still gets to me. Every scene, every time. I'm not thrilled that they pack in the commercials, but it still doesn't stop me. I can't watch this movie without crying, at least I don't want to. Jimmy Stewart is such an everyman, and this is such an everyman movie. I identify with George Bailey, despite the myriad differences. I haven't always done the right thing. I haven't always sacrificed my own happiness for my fellow man, or even my own family. Not every time. But I have tried. The karma equation is always at the back of my mind. I constantly weigh my actions, and even thoughts, against my twin masters, Compassion and Justice. Sometimes they disagree, and sometimes I don't follow their directives. This cognizance lets me identify with George Bailey. That may be where the similarity ends. George did the right thing at every opportunity. I have not. George remained at home and became the cornerstone of his community. I relocated and became the proverbial distant relative. George had a wife and children practically thrust upon him, and I have not been able to have a family of my own. But I hope I have achieved some of the same things, despite a vastly different life. When we do good, and we do it without hesitation, we are not thinking of the reward. If we thought about it, we would hesitate; besides, good deeds are seldom rewarded. When I was fifteen, some woman left her children in the car while she walked into the drugstore next to my bus stop. The children started playing at driving and found the magic of the shifter. Once in neutral, gravity took over with the predictable result. Then, my inner-George-Bailey took over. I opened the passenger door, dove in at the little tykes' feet, and applied the brake with my hand. I don't know if I really risked my own life, but if I had done nothing, that car would have been stopped by the cross traffic at the intersection ahead. I saved the car if not the kids. Now, you're asking where I keep the news-clipping, and how did I like the parade. No, like the movie, I was not thanked for my deed, not even a $20 (not that the lady looked like she could afford it). No reporters' flash bulbs, no writeup. Now, the only people who know about this are those I've told, and for all I know, they think I'm full of hooey. But, I have dealt fairly with everyone I've met, and given the benefit of the doubt, except in those extreme cases where there really wasn't any doubt at all. While I have hurt feelings by becoming distracted, and even irked my friends by not letting some honest disputes die when they should have, I think all who know me think well on me. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I hope desperately that I've got an interest-bearing account at the First Bank of Heaven. The sum of our good deeds is rarely accounted for upon our person. Even recipients of the Congressional Medal of Honor are more likely to keep it on their walls than on their chests. Nice clothes and a fancy car are often more the indication of a predator than a saint. Nope, sorry Virginia, you don't get to show your goodness in an easy-to-see fashion. But when you're in need, that's when you find out how good you are. You see, the best way to tell your goodness is to plumb the depths of goodness of your friends and community. They have been spending their whole lives dealing with various beggars and frauds, so when someone is in need, they run their field-proven Goodness and Need Meter (patent pending). If they help you, you're either good, or sufficiently amusing to justify a little help. The greater the need, the greater the response (or the more deafening the silence in its absence). In George's case, his need was profound and with many different aspects. He had crises of finance, freedom, and faith. He was set up for the worst of all outcomes, or the best. I think the part that gets me is the notion of community as an insurance policy. You pay in your whole life, and your benefits are based on how much you've paid before you need. The trick is that you don't know if you're shorting the tip jar or not. When you help the honest souls, you're really banking some change, but when you help the frauds, you're just wasting cash, or worse yet, damaging your own reputation by supporting what you (and your community) oppose. So, what gets me about this movie (remember when I was writing about that?) is that George just doesn't know if he's living his life well. I mean, can you sum up what that means? So, George has this crisis because he just doesn't know if he's a decent person. He's decent enough to care, but he's afraid and in pain, and he doesn't know if he has anything to rely upon, anything to support him. He doesn't know if and how he's connected to the world. Then, like a Cinderella story, he finds that who he is, what he is, is the best possible. It was the world that was a little broken, and now that the world is fixed, the good are rewarded, and the evil are punished. How can that not bring a tear to the driest eye. Merry Christmas!!!

I solved my erection problem in the shower!

verbamour — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 23:47:16 GMT

And I couldn't be happier! As many of you know, the bjurt (http://bjurt.com) is the most amazing structure since the dawn of time, but it takes two people to erect. I know one gentleman who figured out how to put one up by himself, but for me and the rest of the planet, I needed some sort of jack to push that center ring 12'6" up in the air. The old way is to take a 7' piece of 3/4" EMT, put a fork in it, and use that to push up the center, holding it something like a flag-bearer. The new way is to start with a 10' piece (or maybe start with the 7' and then switch to the 10') with a 5' piece of 1" EMT sleeving it. To get from 10' to 12'6", raise the 10' piece, place a 2'6" piece of 3/4" under it, and then let the 5' sleeve slide down, supporting the two pieces in line. This should let one scary loner put up a bjurt all by himself. Woo-hoo!!!

Nigga ain't a race

verbamour — Mon, 10 Dec 2007 18:40:53 GMT

A friend of mine recently wondered if he was racist. This disturbed me because he is one of the nicest, most good people I know. Nice people aren't racist! It goes against the tenets of nice and good. This is why he wondered: He was working gate at a party, and a carload of black guys drove up, and he was thinking that maybe he should get someone else to decide whether to let them in. Being highly intelligent, he analyzed his behavior. He realized if there were four white guys in the car, he would let them in. Since the scenarios differed only by race, he was clearly racist. Good logic. Faulty assumptions. The four white guys were pulled from his head, so they were probably neutral. Any details that might have affected his decision were sanitized so they wouldn't exert confounding influence. The four black guys were right there. Any details that might have affected his decision were sitting right in front of him. Those details may have been negative. I haven't questioned my friend on this, but I suspect there were subtleties (and perhaps a few grossities) that made him wary of this carload of gentlemen. We are wired to detect threats. The thing about race is that it's easy to tell at a distance. It's easy to make an image processing algorithm that will detect it for the most part ("you must be lighter than this patch to ride this ride"). And there are people who make their decisions based on that simple evidence. That is racism. That is wrong. In most cases, one can't change one's apparent race, so people are judged on something entirely out of there control. That is wrong. That makes one group the unavoidable enemy of the other. That is wrong. I bet I could have found four black guys (and perhaps a different car) that my friend would have had no problem letting in. Just to pick an easy example, four guys from an African nation with cool accents, brightly-colored tribal clothes, and smiles on their faces. If he didn't let them in, I'd have a real problem with my friend. And if a car of skinheads showed up, my friend would have picked up the phone twice as fast. Now I'm not suggesting that American blacks try to pass as Africans. What I am saying is that there are societies, cultures within our nation that are brutal and violent. There are those out there that would do us harm and disrupt our efforts. Since they tend to be racist and divide by race, we identify them with their respective races, as do they. We let those evil sons of bitches speak for their races. And they see the other side lofting bombs so they do the same thing. If I'd been beaten up a few more times growing up, I'm sure I'd have joined a gang of bullies for my protection. I would have learned their speech, customs, and behaviors. I would have had a forty-foot billboard floating in front of me telling you that not only was I one dangerous bad-ass mutherfucker, but that I had a whole mess more just like me to come mess you up if you don't give me some room. And I would never take that billboard down because I would never know when the threat was gone. Eventually, I wouldn't even know how to turn it off. I would scare you so you wouldn't scare me. Watch Boondocks some time. It's a cartoon about two black kids moved to the suburbs by their Grandfather. There's also a comic strip, but you need to see the show to get the full impact. There's a character, Uncle Rufus, I believe voiced by Cedric the Entertainer, who drops the n-bomb countless times, and he says it in a way I had never heard before, something like "nyigga", I guess a little like, "nyah, nyah, nyah". There is a frightening power in hearing that. He makes the word drip venom. He makes it so ugly I want to vomit, kind of like when a good Shakespearean actor says, "roaring war". Now I know why the thought of war makes me sick, but to have a similar reaction to a racial slur? Yes, I hate racism, but this was tying into fear as well. The show deals in caricatures, so it's not a guide to life, but caricatures and stereotypes are the abstractions that allow us to understand and deal with reality. Stereotyping has gotten a bad name, and it's ill-deserved. Hell, computer science started using stereotypes, and it's been extremely useful and powerful. Incorrect stereotypes are powerfully bad, and correct ones are powerfully good. The trick is to refine and correct the stereotypes, and that's what we do. And we share them. I'm sure you can summon up a pretty complete image in your head if I say, "scary black dude". Does that make you a racist? A black guy can summon up that image as well as anyone. If he choses to inhabit that role, he's telling the world that's what he is. He may be lying. He may not be scary at all, he just doesn't want to look vulnerable. How am I supposed to deal with that? How am I supposed to tell him from a real scary black dude? And don't get me started on white dudes trying to act like scary black dudes, creepy, funny, and just as dangerous all at the same time. Ok, this is getting a little long, and I don't have any real solutions. The only hope I see is for people of all races and cultures to assert what control they can to promote tolerance and openness. Groups that isolate themselves yet remain within society are a threat, because the greater the isolation, the more mischief they could be making. It's like when someone won't look you in the eye. Pisses you off, doesn't it? You don't know what they're up to. You think maybe they're lying. And I'm very sorry if I offended anyone with my title or contents. Sometimes it's more important to get the message across, whether with pith or exaggeration, than it is to spare feelings.

Look Ma! I made art!

verbamour — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 03:29:38 GMT

So here I am trying to save the world one bjurt (http://bjurt.com) at a time, but it's Sunday, so I'm watching a little football. I realized that some of my brace pieces can be used like an Erector Set (actually, I kind of designed that into them). I had a vision of a Christmas present, and decided to summon it forth. I now have a 25 pound stainless steel present. What does one do with something like that? I'm going to sell it. I figure this is cool enough that someone should be willing to pony up $1000 for a one-of-a-kind (unless I make another, but hey, this is the first one) piece of art that makes a statement about both the permanence and hollowness of giving. And, if it doesn't sell, I'll just take it apart and make bjurts out of the parts. But I sure enjoyed making it.

LA Santacon 07

verbamour — Sun, 02 Dec 2007 03:53:01 GMT

LA SantaCon is going to be Saturday, December 8. Who's going? Here's the link to the tribe for it: http://santacon.tribe.net/ Get your ho, ho, ho on!