The Heart of the Matter

Moving

veronicah — Fri, 23 May 2008 01:39:31 GMT

Scott and I are moving into our new house in Allied Gardens on May 31st. With the new baby and me still recovering from the birth we could really use some help with unloading our truck and unpacking all our stuff. So, if you would like to help please pm me and we can make plans. Even if you are not available that weekend, I will be needing help over the next few weeks, so anytime you would like to come by and lend a hand would be very much appreciated. Much love and thanks, Veronicah

It was a happy Valentine's Day...

veronicah — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 18:53:13 GMT

So, about a month ago I was talking to my Aunt Rozie about Scott and I wanting to get married. Just something simple to take care of all those legal things that seem so important when you are expecting a baby. She said to me, "I thought you two would want to wait for Valentines' Day to get married since it is so soon." Bleh I thought that would just be too mushy! Lo and behold after many delays including the wrong wedding bands being delivered and scheduling problems with potential wedding officiates, Scott and I ended up at the County building on Valentine's Day saying our vows. It wasn't exactly the "dream" wedding, but so many things fell into place that it couldn't have been better with so little stress. Just a couple witnesses and a very nice Deputy Commissioner of Marriages to perform the ceremony. :-) I think the most memorable part, aside from the actual act of becoming husband and wife, was that there was a group of people there supporting some same sex couples that were applying for marriage licenses expecting to be turned down. So, there I was sitting in a golden dress with a rose bouquet with two of Scott's female coworkers, Darlene and Corrina, waiting for the certificates to be printed when a nice lady came up to me and asked if we were there to support the group. With a little confusion Darlene said, "She just got married." And the lady said, "Oh! To a man or a woman?" I laughed and said, "Well to a man, but if he were a woman I would have done the same either way!" So, yes I got mistaken for a lesbian trying to marry my female lover on my wedding day, but it is a great story and it was cool to see all the people out to support the couples there who weren't allowed the same right that Scott and I exercised that day. We're hoping to have a big party when we can invite everybody to celebrate with us after the baby is born and I have a little more energy for planning something big! :-) Love to everyone, Veronicah Cohen

Spreading the love~ thanks Kenrom

veronicah — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 16:33:38 GMT

Reply to this post, and I'll tell you one or two (maybe even three) reasons why I like you. I have got a lot of love to give with the little life inside me so get ready for some major juju. :-) Then put this in your own journal if you like, and spread the love!

The Whale

veronicah — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 16:11:20 GMT

An awesome story I just couldn't help but share! The Whale If you read the front page story of the SF Chronicle, you would have read about a female humpback whale who had become entangled in a spider web of crab traps and lines. She was weighted down by hundreds of pounds of traps that caused her to struggle to stay afloat. She also had hundreds of yards of line rope wrapped around her body, her tail, her torso, a line tugging in her mouth. A fisherman spotted her just east of the Farralone Islands (outside the Golden Gate) and radioed an environmental group for help. Within a few hours, the rescue team arrived and determined that she wasso bad off, the only way to save her was to dive in and untangle her. One slap of the tail could kill a rescuer. They worked for hours with curved knives and eventually freed her. When she was free, the divers say she swam in what seemed like joyous circles. She then came back to each and every diver, one at a time, and nudged them, pushed gently around-she thanked them. Some said it was the most incredibly beautiful experience of their lives. The guy who cut the rope out of her mouth says her eye was following him the whole time, and he will never be the same. May you, and all those you love, be so blessed and fortunate to be surrounded by people who will help you get untangled from the things that are binding you. And, may you always know the joy of giving and receiving gratitude. I pass this on to you, my friend, in the same spirit. Love, Veronicah

Stories

veronicah — Sat, 23 Jun 2007 01:20:51 GMT

I was just looking through my friend's list and realizing I have at least one or more beautiful stories related to each person there. Like this one in the picture where all of us sat around the stripper pole in the Turtle at Xara 06, made little butterflies and enjoyed being kids for awhile. I still have my butterfly in my good luck corner at home. It made me feel filled with life and joy thinking about how many moments like this one I have experienced. Thank you all for being a part of the web of my life!

It's still hard to believe he asked me!

veronicah — Tue, 23 May 2006 21:36:33 GMT

Scott's asked me to come live with him in Ventura!!!! Because he loves me yay!!!!! I'll be sad not to see all my beautiful friends as often as I have, but we'll be down to visit and soak up all the wonderful SD Burner LOVE! I'm moving at the end of June, so everyone gets gigantic hugs when I see them!!!!!!! Thank you everyone for being so radically awesome and I know we all have many adventures still ahead. All my love, Veronicah

I'm ordained!

veronicah — Mon, 28 Nov 2005 23:31:02 GMT

I was ordained as a Reverend in the Universal Life Church this morning. So, I can now perform weddings and baby naming ceremonies etc. and it's 100% legal. Anyone out there looking for a good priestess to marry them I will totally hook you up! I'm so excited! I'm going to be performing my mom's marriage this month which is needless to say pretty damn cool.

Break ups are hard

veronicah — Wed, 09 Nov 2005 16:26:06 GMT

I'm learning a very important lesson. Even when you're glad to be free of a relationship and you know there is a brighter future ahead. It still can really hurt. I know this isn't a revelation that I million people haven't felt before, but I just ended my first major relationship. He's said it's not over we're just separating for a while, but I know I'm done. I can feel my emotional body releasing and changing. I lived with Ikenna for over 3 years and we shared a lot of hardship and good times together. I was so looking forward to moving on from the things I just didn't want in my life anymore, but had no idea how much just having someone to come home to supported me in my life. I now have a wonderful group of friends like I've never had before and a new love in my life, but for whatever reason my higher self has chosen for there to be distance between us. It's always been hard for me to be in relationship with anyone because I love so deeply and strongly even with my friends that often people don't get how much I miss them or my need to connect at a deep level. Anyway I'm mostly wrting this to get it all out of my head and help these tears to flow more smoothly. I love my life even the hard parts because they teach me to be patient with myself and with the seemingly slowly unfolding events of my life. Kali Ma mother of the cycle Protect me through my emotional journey Guide me through the dark Lead me to the light at the end Help me dance my path As this pain is released from my heart, this dependency Fill me with love and freedom Lift my heart from the depths and support my next evolution Aho!

Name research

veronicah — Wed, 09 Nov 2005 00:07:23 GMT

Some of you may know that my name Veronicah Zariel Roolz is a chosen name. I never really had a problem with Carla Jean House (my birth name), but after a major decision to treat myself with more kindness and not give my energy away in inappropriate ways things changed. The name Veronicah just popped into my head and stayed for a very long time until I finally acknowledged that it was my new name. The rest of the name was up to me. Roolz is my aunt's chosen last name and I always admired her boldness in so clearly stating the she simply RULED! I crunched numerology numbers and found the the name held what I wanted. Zariel I came across on a woman's id at the bookstore I worked at. Once again I analyzed the impact of the entire name numbers wise and finally felt like I had exactly the name for me. However, I never researched the origins or meanings of Veronicah or Zariel until this afternoon. Veronicah apparently means "true image" and Zariel is "lion princess". So put the definitions together and my name is True Image Lion Princess Rules! I can't help but smile at this. The universe is so funny and I can't believe how I'm growing into my new name more and more everyday by seeing who I truly am and loving myself for it! Thank you to all my burner, priestess and old time friends who have all been so supportive and loving to me on my path. XOXO Veronicah

A new article I wrote for San Diego Circle newsletter

veronicah — Thu, 06 Oct 2005 16:51:32 GMT

Kali’s Merciful Blade By Veronicah Roolz Standing in circle amongst the trees and mountains on a pitch-black Samhain night, I feel the presence of the veil between the worlds so clearly as my aunt leads circle. The energies of recently departed loved ones envelop us as we open the door to another realm to ease their crossing. I gaze into the scribing bowl and see a perfect pentagram reminding me to stay balanced in the elements. Suddenly, I hear a command from my inner source, “Squat down on the ground.” I feel the goddess’ presence near me and surrender to her command. Crouching low to the ground, I feel a terrifically powerful energy all around me. Fear tries to distract me, but for once my heart says clearly, “This is the position of Kali.” That simple statement changed me forever. Kali? As in, Kali Ma, the Hindu goddess of destruction? The really scary one with all the blood and swords? I couldn’t really accept it at first. The voice that spoke to me was so commanding and hard. She was everything about myself that I tried to hide: my power, my truth speak, my passion and my darkness. I kept her energy at bay as much as I could. Refusing to fully explore this new contact. However, one does not sign up for a shamanic apprenticeship and not get their ass kicked! Through the intuitive guidance of my teachers I began to explore my personal gifts and energy. I found a great, dark power within myself that altered my consciousness about what dark meant. Dark was wise, passionate and healing. The old ideas of darkness as something unpleasant or evil were knocked out of me by my deep journeys with Grandmother Spider and Grandmother Death. I saw love in the darkness. I saw the dark feminine protecting people through their most difficult lessons and aiding the release of self-destructive patterns. I explored darkness in sexuality and tantra and found the profound potential for healing there. Finally, I was ready to contend with Kali, the mother of dark release. I met her one day during an intense healing session where I experienced deep release of all (and I mean ALL) the times I ever felt unloved or rejected. I had a vision of the pantheon of Hindu gods standing around me and Kali emerged and put a red hibiscus in my hair and kissed me. Never before had I felt so loved, protected and honored. I found trust then and began to channel her energy through my dance and priestess work. As my own confidence in my personal power grew, our relationship deepened and she began aiding me in my healing work. Her sword became my tool for cutting loose blocks and negative energy from clients. I found my intention even stronger when reinforced with her presence. Then came the day of my priestess initiation. We were required to present ten minutes of ourselves fully in our power. Now, we could do this in any way we liked and that was a lot of choice for my Libra rising to handle! I procrastinated or so I thought until my guides said, “You are going to full body channel Kali.” No! I can’t! It’s too much! Etc, etc…'until I gave in to myself. Even the day of the presentation I felt “sick” and called to say I wasn’t coming, but an hour before class I was up and preparing myself dark goddess style before my logical brain ever knew what hit it. The channeling was beyond words. I felt complete surrender and enjoyed it far more than I could have imagined. That night Kali and I formed a partnership to anchor her energy in my community and on the collective consciousness level. I would be a channel to facilitate the rediscovery of Kali’s love and power to heal. Now, I find that every channeling of Kali a new facet of her is voiced. Her humor, her power, her sexuality and her mercy are all being exposed. And she loves it! She sticks her tongue out confidently at us and demands we see her power and reflects back to us our own.